The wind blew in short gusts bringing the cold and snow deep into the valley. It was the first snow of the season. It seemed fitting to Jack; it matched his dreary mood.
The service at the church was perfect. Two large sweat pea arrangements, Donna's favorite, said on either side of her casket. Jack asked that the casket remain closed; the guitar wire had cut deep into Donna's skin, and the impression was still clearly visible even after the mortician worked on her.
The sermon was short: “Donna was loved…” “She only lived a short time on this earth, but she touched so many people…” “She was a daughter, a friend to many, and a partner to Jack…” “She was truly loved in the community and would be missed by so many…”
Donna's mother gave the endearing eulogy. She talked about Donna's life in Bluffington. She talked about how Donna was always trying to be the best she could be.
“She always cared about others first, and she always did everything with purpose,” she said.
Brenda spoke about the relationship between Jack and Donna, ignoring the whispers around town about Donna's supposed affair.
“Jack was the best thing that ever happened to my sweet Donna,” she touted. A few doubters in the audience made eyes at each other.
Jack felt drained; he may have seemed unemotional to some, but he was hurting.
After a few hymns, the guests were invited to walk by the casket if they wished. The procession was long. Many looked at Jack or Donna's parents and whispered condolences as they passed.
Jack and the family followed the casket out to the waiting hearse at the end of the service. The wind continued to whip the snow around as the pallbearers loaded the casket into the back of the hearse. Wet snow was beginning to stick to every surface it touched. Jack and his parents rode in the first limo with Donna's family in the limo directly behind.
Attendance at the graveside was by invitation only. A large, open-sided tent was set up over wet faux grass that surrounded the already-dug hole in the ground. The small group huddled close together underneath to stay warm and seek shelter from the snow, but the wind continued to buffet the small tent and drive the snow under the canopy.
It seemed to take the pallbearers a long time to bring the casket to the grave site. At one point, the casket almost slipped to the ground; the pallbearers fumbled cold and frozen hands on the handles in attempt to maintain a solid grip. The casket rocketed to and fro, and it suddenly became real to Jack that Donna was really gone. He thought about her body, cold and dead inside the casket, as it tumbled. Jack watched with horror as the casket almost struck the ground on its side. He imagined Donna inside that coffin lurching sideways and landing askew inside the cold box. He could not get the image out of his mind. He saw her face turned sideways and pressed against the satin fabric. She would remain that way, twisted and contorted, under the cold earth forever. Jack buried his face in his mother's coat and cried for the first time today.
His mother held him close and rocked him as the minister spoke about the human deliverance that we all share from birth to death.
"The road we set upon to travel is unknown, but each choice we make when the road divides is a choice we take with God. The Lord is our savior, and our eyes are his eyes. He sees the path we have chosen well before we have made any decisions, and he remains with us on our journey. We must follow and trust that the path chosen is good, that God's will is strong, and that God will carry us and continue to lead us forward. It is this faith in God, and the faith God has in us, that leads us to where we are today. Donna's passing, though tragic, was part of God's will, and we must accept that Donna is no longer with us on this earth. Her body will return to the earth from whence it came. Her soul shall be lifted up high above to become one with God, from now until eternity. Those she leaves behind..."
The wind and snow continued to blow through the crowd. Many shielded their eyes with a gloved hand.
Jack broke away from his mother and flattened his coat. He listened as the minister continued to speak of God’s love, family, friends, and community.
Jack scanned the crowd of mourners and was pleased to see how many people loved and cherished his wife. Jack spotted Dean in the back with shoulders hunched against the cold and bundled up in a long coat and scarf. Jack guessed he was simply playing the part of a mourner. Dean kept his distance from the group and parked so that Jack would have to walk right past Dean to get back to the limo. Jack thought he could see Dean’s eyes locked on him, but was unable to tell for sure through the driving wind and snow.
Donna's coffin was lowered into the ground, and the minister gave his final blessing. Jack pulled the single rose from his lapel, knelt down by the hole, and tossed it onto the casket. He remained on his knees and stared blankly at the ground. He sat there until his mother grabbed his shoulder.
“Jack,” she whispered softly. She tugged on him urging him to come with her.
Jack stood at the side of the grave with his mother as the rest of the crowd hustled quickly to their cars, eager to find shelter from the thickening snow.
He hugged his mother. He felt lost and alone. He had Donna with him for the last two years. She was there every day when he walked into their house, and she was next to him with her warm body when he crawled into their bed each night. Her body was now under the cold earth, and her passing was undeniably real to Jack. Jack didn’t know he was capable of experiencing this much pain. The severity of the pain was unexpected and it cut deep into his heart.
He turned with his mother and walked quickly towards the idling limo.
Dean stood off to the side of the path as Jack approached. He held out his hand to Jack. Jack shook it, and Dean pulled him in fast and hard. He whispered gently in his ear, "I am sorry for your loss, Jack. Donna was a very special person. I want to see you down at the station tomorrow morning. There's more to discuss."
"You’re telling me this now?" Jack snapped.
"We'll all miss Donna. I miss her. She was..."
"I'm not doing this with you right now!" Jack yelled.
Jack pulled himself free from Dean and glared at him.
The storm raged on stronger than ever. Dean wiped the snow from his cheeks and stared back at Jack.
Jack turned his back to Dean, grabbed his mother's arm, and led her down the path to the waiting limo. Bud was already hunkered down inside and peering out through the open door. An unlit rollup hung from his lips.