Read Face the Dark (Hunters of the Dark #3) Page 39

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  Cameron pounded the tile of his shower walls and let out a cry of pain, which started him crying all over again. He covered his face and turned the heat of the shower way up, so intense that it would numb him. He savored the feeling of the mist filling his lungs, felt satisfied at the sight of his body made red by the scalding water. And when he pounded his fist into the tile again, he was glad to see a smear of blood on the wall, and the feeling of pain radiate down his arm.

  He stepped out of the shower after a few more minutes and swiped the condensation from the mirror. He stared at his scar, the source of everything that he’d done over the past week. Every questionable decision he’d made since Tessa had contacted him. He thought he would be able to cruise through this, that no one would get hurt, and that in the end, he would be whole again. But now he saw that he would never be whole again after the events of the past few days. He had murdered somebody. A friend. In cold blood. And he’d even covered up the crime, let them all think he was innocent. But he shouldn’t get away with what he’d done. He should be punished. Felicia was dead because of him. Dead. There was no taking that back.

  He clenched his teeth and forced back another sob, slamming his fist into the bathroom sink. It was an accident. A horrible, horrible accident. Why hadn’t Felicia just stopped to listen to him? Why had she kept running? Why did she…make him do that to her?

  And how can I ever look Shanna in the eyes again? He asked himself. How could he look anyone in the eyes again, knowing that he was a killer?

  He put on clothes and did his hair, went through the motions which didn’t seem right. He felt like things should be different. The same routines shouldn’t exist now that he’d killed his friend. He knew he was in a form of shock, and needed time to get used to the idea of what he’d done, but this was a burden he would have to bear alone. He could never tell this horrible secret to anybody.

  I’m Tessa’s forever now, he suddenly realized with cold terror. Whatever she wants from me, I’ll do. She knows my deepest, darkest secret. She helped me cover it up. I can’t be a hunter of the dark anymore. I can’t call myself their friend. I’m their enemy now.

  No, he decided. Nobody needs to know. If anyone claims that I did this, I can deny it. No one would believe a monster over me. My friends trust…they trust me.

  God, I don’t deserve that trust. What kind of a person have I become? Was I destined to be this way, from the moment I was scarred? Was I always so desperate to be normal, to be beautiful? How did I never recognize this darkness in myself? Why didn’t I feel it? Because of that stupid glamour? Everything is so fragile. Life is so fragile.

  There was a sharp knock on the door and Cameron answered it quickly, unwilling to be alone with his thoughts any longer.

  Shanna smiled in at him. “Ready for more neck-aching research?”

  God, she had a beautiful smile. He pulled her into his room and wrapped his arms around her, squeezed her tight, pressed her against his body. He never wanted to lose her.

  “It’s okay,” she told him, patting his back gently. “I know it hurts.”

  He stiffened and pulled back, looking into her face, so innocent and naïve. She had no clue that she was staring at a killer with such an angelic expression, with such love in her eyes. He kissed her then, desperately, like he was sinking in the dark sea and she was his life preserver. And for a little while at least, he forgot his grief.