“Revenge,” I said bitterly. “All any of you care about is your stupid pride.”
“What would you have me do?” he shouted. “What do you want from me?”
I jabbed a finger at him. “I would just fucking forget about it! Both of you! Get a life and move on already! What’s the point of living in the past? You can’t change the past. You can change the future. You both have this chance to make an actual difference, and all either of you care about is causing more bloodshed. Pair of nutjobs.”
Neither of them answered. I knelt beside two skeletons, one much larger than the other. I imagined them to be a mother and her child. Why had she lain down to die? Why hadn’t she run with her child? Fought to live? I let out a shuddering sigh. Drake had said it wasn’t an unusual sight. What had gone wrong in the fae realm? No wonder Brighid had turned her back.
“Come on,” Drake said, resting a hand on my shoulder. “You shouldn’t stay here for too long.”
“Why?”
“It isn’t good for you. We need to get home.”
There it was again. Home. I didn’t have one, I wanted to scream. Those people had had one and let it rot and ruin, just like their bodies. I shrugged off Drake’s hand and stalked back toward the exit.
Brendan grabbed my arm as I passed. “You don’t get it,” he growled. “You will never understand.”
“I understand more than you do,” I said through gritted teeth. I stepped toward him. He needed to be stood up to because his ego was growing every minute.
His laugh was without humour. “You think you know more than a king?”
“Without the crown, you’re just a man,” I said. “And it looks like you haven’t learned much, after all.”
His grip tightened. “Do you dare?”
I lifted my chin. “I’m not scared of you. I have nothing. I have nothing left to lose. Your ego doesn’t turn me into a whimpering wreck because I think it makes you look foolish.”
He let go of me, and I stepped outside. The hail had turned back into a steady rain, but the air was still chilly. My cloak kept me warmer than I would have been. Brendan was so angry at me that I was pretty sure I had messed up everything. I looked at my wrist. At the time, it felt as though he might break it, but there wasn’t a mark on it. Sighing, I tugged my sleeve back down and wandered around the ruins.
Drake went to fetch the horses. When he returned, he followed me. “Did he hurt you?”
“No.”
“You might have hurt him.”
“You have to have a heart to get hurt,” I said bitterly. “Not that you would know anything about that, either.”
“What did I do?”
I glared at him. He had the good sense to keep his mouth shut.
One of the ruined buildings still had half its roof. I sat under there and leaned against the sturdy wall. Why had some of it fallen away while the rest remained steady?
Drake started a campfire in the dry patches, and I scooted closer, eager for the warmth. The horses wandered over and rested under another sheltered part of the ruin. Drake left to gather some fruit from the forest.
When Brendan came over, he was carrying some rabbits that he had already skinned and gutted. He knelt and started building a spit to cook them over the fire. I watched him, wondering what he was thinking, the fae who was part stranger, part one of the most important people in my life. Soon, the scent of the meat filled the air, and the place felt a little more alive.
“The forest has grown,” Brendan said. “The heart of it used to be the most magical, the most well protected. Ancient races lived there, undisturbed by the rest of us. The tribe who lived here seemed primitive to me. They had a whole different set of laws and traditions. My parents often took me with them to see how they worked with the independent tribes. They wanted me to understand that even the smallest tribes were important. My mother and father ate by the fire, sitting on the ground. Her hair was around her shoulders, and she was the happiest she had ever been. That’s when I knew.”
When he didn’t continue, I asked, “Knew what?”
“That the crown brought unhappiness. Nobody looked happy in a crown. But those people who sat here and shared their food with us, those people who sang and danced and lived as if nothing in the world could weigh them down, those people were happy. My parents were happy as a man and a woman, but not as king and queen.”
“That would be enough for most people—to be happy sometimes.”
He shrugged. “It’s not enough for me. I want it all.”
“Nobody gets to have everything they want.”
“I know, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting it.”
Drake returned and fed the horses some apples. The three of us shared the rabbits and had fruit for dessert. Everything tasted good. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was.
“They say the centre of the Great Forest is the most fertile place in the realm,” Drake said. “The water is purer, anything that is planted tastes better, and the animals grow larger than anywhere else.”
“That’s because the magic began here,” Brendan said. “This… the Great Forest… all of the neutral territory, is the beginning. The realm grew around it as the fae strengthened. Or so they say.”
“And then they divided the realm by taking territories,” I said quietly. “And now the realm is dying.”
Both of them looked questioningly at me.
“The Darkside,” I said. “The rift in the Fade. The land is dying. It’s spreading, right? It’s like an infection that’s contagious. That’s why the bridges were torn down. Because the fae on this side thought it would protect them. But it’s too late. Nothing can stop it.”
Drake nodded. “It is dying.”
“And remember that village we stayed in? The one celebrating because a king might fix things in the Darkside?”
“The Darkside could never take over the Great Forest,” Brendan said. “The Great Forest is too large, too strong. It’s the heart of everything.”
“Then what about the way faeries use humans for their pain and suffering? Líle told me she believes it’s weakening the fae to act that way. Maybe if Brighid—”
“Enough about Brighid,” Brendan said sourly. “We’re in this alone.”
I stared into the fire. They didn’t get it. “What if the darkness keeps spreading? What if the Darkside becomes the largest place in the realm? Becomes the realm?”
“It won’t,” Brendan said confidently. “We’ll work against it. We’ll clean up the realm.”
“And if there’s a third king doing the opposite?”
“We’ll deal with him,” Drake said. “It’s not for you to worry about.”
“She’s here in the fae realm,” Brendan said. “Why wouldn’t she worry?”
Drake threw down his cup and walked off. The ruined village was affecting all of us badly.
Brendan and I sat in silence for a while. The only sounds were small animals cracking twigs amongst the trees, the occasional whinny of one of our horses, and the crackling of our fire. The hooting of an owl made us both flinch.
Brendan looked at me. “I’m sorry if I was angry with you earlier.”
“No, you’re not. You’re becoming the king again. Nobody’s allowed to argue with you.”
“I want to be different,” he said in a small voice. “I don’t want to go back to the way I was. I don’t want to be Sadler. I want to be better than them all.”
“Even Drake?”
He smiled. “Especially Drake.”
“Nobody’s forcing you to be arrogant and rude. You choose how you act.”
He shook his head. “If you had seen this place, how vibrant and alive it was, you would be angry, too.”
“I know it’s not fair,” I said. “But look at the bigger picture. If you get caught up here, somebody else could be pushing their agenda elsewhere. You should talk to Grim. He knows all about this stuff. He sees things the rest of you don’t.”
“He’s wise,” B
rendan said. “If he wasn’t, I doubt you would still be alive.”
“If the storm stops, we could make it back by tomorrow night.”
“Let’s hope.” He hesitated. “I’m not sure what to expect, though.”
“Me, either,” I whispered.
“Whatever happens, I’ll make sure Grim and the others find their way home. I won’t forget them.”
I gave him a grateful smile. I believed him. I just didn’t know if the same thing applied to me. Would he remember me when it was all said and done?
Chapter Thirty
We left the ruins when the storm broke. The air smelled fresher, cleaner. I didn’t want to ride with either of them, but they had been taking turns for the horses’ sakes, and that left me perched in front of Brendan again with Drake in the lead.
“You’re agitated,” he said as we headed back toward the road again.
“I’m fine.” The sky was still dark from the storm, and I was getting tired. “This is taking longer than I thought.”
“We’ve been avoiding the busy roads. That takes us on a longer route. Don’t worry. Nothing will stop us now.”
I let out a heavy sigh. I was dreading the end of the journey.
“You seem disappointed,” he said, pulling me closer to him.
“I’ve gotten used to not knowing what the hell is going to happen next.”
“I knew you were a daredevil.” He pulled down my hood and nuzzled my neck.
“Cut it out,” I said, trying not to laugh. “You only like me when I don’t take your shit.”
“How do you know I wouldn’t like you better if you did?”
I pulled my hood back up. “You must be seriously bored today.”
“I feel like time is running out,” he said. “The fun is almost over.”
“You call this fun?”
“Don’t try to tell me you haven’t enjoyed some of it. You love it here.”
“Maybe it’s not always my idea of hell,” I said. “But it could be better.”
“As could the human realm. But I think I prefer it there sometimes.” He rested his hands on mine on the reins.
I shook off his hands, but gently. Being with him was so easy most of the time that he was always a kind of temptation. If I wasn’t so hung up on Drake, then things would be a lot different between Brendan and me. But Drake held a piece of my heart, and I couldn’t let the idea of us go.
Brendan sighed. “All that time waiting to come home, and all I want to do is visit the human realm again.”
“You want to taste the world,” I said, throwing his own words back at him. “That’s what you told Sorcha. You want to live a full life this time, and you think that being in the human realm will help.”
“I think it will make me less likely to forget. All of the time I spent hunting in this forest, and I never returned to that village. Maybe I would have been a better king if I had spent time with fae who didn’t dwell in the court. It’s a different world in there. People start trends, everyone follows frantically, and then it’s something new the next week. But it’s never satisfying. It never feels complete. There’s always the next thrill and a complete disregard for everything else. The politics…” He gave a dramatic shudder.
“Grim warned me that someone would try to get rid of me on this trip.”
“And perhaps it was Sorcha’s idea to escape through the Hollows by selling us out,” Brendan said.
“But it didn’t work,” I pointed out. “We made it past Reynard.”
“You have the strangest luck,” he said.
Noises came from ahead—loud, angry, aggressive sounds.
Drake stopped and waited for us to catch up to him. “Wait here,” he whispered before dismounting. He nimbly climbed a tree to take a better look. When he came back down, he looked worried. “Darksiders all along the road. They must be watching for us.”
“So we’ll travel a different way,” Brendan said. “There’s a village nearby, full of fae who have lived in the forest for centuries. They’re good trackers. I believe they’ll help us find a way home. If the Darksiders have gathered, it’ll be tricky to get past them without any help.”
We turned off the track. The rain would cover our tracks a little, but the hoof prints in the mud would be harder to conceal. Still, we pressed on, desperate to get the kings back to their rightful place.
We soon thundered into the part of the forest that Brendan sought. The village had lots of small buildings, but they were all carved out of massive trees. Everything seemed to have been created from the hollow of a tree. The people lived inside the trees, and other trees grew in a protective ring around them.
I stared in wonder. “This is all kinds of amazing.”
Some faeries came out to investigate, and Drake asked, “Who are they?”
Brendan dismounted. “They were once known as the keepers of the forest. I don’t know what they’re called these days.”
A small old woman approached. “It’s been a long time since the likes of you visited here. What ails ya today?”
“The Darksiders are lining the roads,” Brendan said.
“I heard. They’re looking for a human.” She nodded at me. “I suppose that’s her.”
“Will you help us?” Brendan asked, sounding meeker than I’d ever heard him.
She glanced over her shoulder. The faces of the others remained impassive. “I suppose we will. We don’t welcome Darksiders, and we hear there’s a Darksider king now. And is this t’other king?” she asked, gesturing at Drake.
Drake dismounted. “I am.”
“Aren’t we fortunate?” the woman said, but the corners of her mouth curved up. “Well, what are you waiting for? Let us take care of your horses, and you can have a bite to eat. Don’t worry about the Darksiders. Our trackers have been keeping an eye on them. In the morning, when they return, we’ll work out a way to get you past the dark souls before they take over the Great Forest.”
“Thank you,” Drake said.
“Haven’t done a thing yet,” she said briskly. “Come. Break bread with us. It will all be better in the morn.”
I dismounted. Some of the faeries took the horses away. We were too large to sleep in their homes, but the bonfire in the centre of the village looked promising.
Taking my arm, the old woman pushed me toward some younger females. “Take good care of this one.”
The females ushered me away. I looked back for reassurance. Brendan nodded and headed into the centre of the village, accompanied by Drake.
A young freckle-face girl with deep blue eyes took charge. “I’m Tayla. I’ll take care of you while you’re here.”
I liked her smile. “What about my—”
“You have to keep away from the men during the day. Come on. We’ll get you cleaned up.”
I let her lead me to a stream. She chattered incessantly as I bathed and washed my hair. She tutted at my shoulder and calf.
“I thought they were healing pretty well,” I said with a shrug.
“Then I’d hate to see what you call infected. Hold on. I’ll get those cleaned and patched up nicely for you. You’ll still have scars, but it won’t be as bad.”
She stitched up my shoulder with deft fingers then smeared some kind of muddy-looking paste across the stitches. “That’ll cool it down. It’ll help the healing, too.”
Tayla took me back to the village. The paste was actually really soothing. I saw Brendan and Drake speaking with some of the village elders, but I wasn’t allowed to approach them.
Kneeling close to the bonfire, Tayla and I watched the youngest girls make flower chains. The men did some kind of ritual where they shared from an old cup, and the older women cooked using little pits on the outskirts of the village.
Tayla brought me some food she called fish meal. It was probably the most delicious thing I had tasted since entering the fae realm. She plaited my hair like hers while I ate. The result was some complicated type of braid that I would never be ab
le to replicate in a million years. A child came over and stuck some flowers into my hair.
The mood of the place reminded me of my night with Drake. I caught his eye and flushed at the memory. As the sky darkened, the revelry began. Some of the younger girls joined hands and danced around the fire.
“Does this happen every night?” I asked, enthralled.
“No,” Tayla said, “but always when we have visitors. We dance and sing and celebrate. It’s tradition that nobody says no to a dance on a night like this. The stars watch us, and we have to make them happy.”
“Why?”
She giggled. “So they keep coming back. How boring it must be to watch all night while people sleep. We do our best to make the night entertaining.”
“How?”
She grinned. “You’ll see.”
After we ate, drinks were passed around. The flavour was sweet and heady, and I soon felt a little disoriented. I just pretended to drink after the first few sips.
“You could stay,” Tayla said. “You don’t have to go with them. You could live here for a while.”
“They’re afraid I’m going to lose my mind like a summer wife.”
She frowned. “How could that be? Are you a summer wife?”
“No. And I have no intentions of becoming one, either.” I was fairly certain it wouldn’t be worth it, even if it meant living in style for a few months.
“Good,” she said. “It must be boring.”
“You don’t have summer wives here?”
She let out a derisive snort. “It’s not forbidden, but a wife isn’t for the summer. The human women don’t lose their minds here. That only happens from the excesses of the court. That’s why we live out here alone. Nothing good can come from the courts.”
Some of the villagers brought out some musical instruments.
Tayla clapped her hands. “You’ll like this. Everything we have comes from nature. The earth provides anything we might need, even the music.”
One woman played a set of drums that were set into the ground. Each snare made a pleasant sound that resonated under my feet. The vibrations rattled me, but I liked it. Another played a fiddle, and the music somehow sounded like a voice. At first, it was so mournful that I felt tears in my eyes.