The hot water from the shower made the blood rush to my skin. It felt good to feel the water pelting me. I went over what happened last night. I started to feel anxious again. I didn’t want to feel this way. It was like I was drowning. I tried to push those thoughts out of my head and think about the carnival and our project.
I walked out of the bathroom and thought I heard the doorbell. I threw my dirty clothes in the hamper, grabbed my cell phone and went to the front door. There was no one there. I peered through the living room curtains and saw Patrick’s car out front. Just then, my cell phone rang. It was him. He must have seen me through the curtains because he got out of his car and the phone stopped ringing.
We got to work in the family room. He had his laptop and I brought mine from my room. I put in a DVD for background noise while we worked. I desperately tried to avoid any conversation that had to do with last night. I kept focused on our project and played the good hostess. I put out a bowl of snacks on the coffee table. At noon, I fixed lunch, even though I wasn’t hungry.
We finished a lot of work that morning and afternoon. Thankfully, Patrick didn’t bring up last night. I think he was hoping I was past all that and bringing it up might make me reconsider it.
Around 3:00pm, my phone rang. It was my mom. They had run into some friends at the golf course and were going catch up with them. She didn’t expect that they would be home for dinner, so I didn’t have to worry about cooking. I was glad that I didn’t have to think about them coming home and explaining why Patrick was there. It wouldn’t matter that we were doing schoolwork. I’d still get my head chewed off. I was not in the mood for that.
“Now, you don’t have an excuse to not go to the movies since you’re no longer on dinner duty.” Patrick flashed me a smile and tried to coax me to change my mind.
That was true. He had asked me earlier if I wanted to go with him and the crew to a movie this afternoon, but I used making dinner as an excuse. All my homework was done. We were as done as we could be at this point for our project. I didn’t have to practice since the auditions were over. Damn, I didn’t have any excuse—a real one at least. The question was, did I want to have the house to myself and be alone or go with him and his friends to watch a movie. At a movie, I’d be with people, but didn’t have to worry about making conversation or fitting in.