upper bunks, glanced up from what he was reading. “Med appointment about an hour ago. Should be back shortly.” He looked back down at his book. “Medtechs wanted to take another look at Con’s eyes or something.”
Winchester nodded and turned back to me as the soldier kept speaking.
“That our new pilot?”
Winchester glanced back over his shoulder. “You bet. Behave yourselves this time so we don’t lose another.”
Pat Levine just grinned at us and went back to his book. Winchester shrugged off his jacket and tossed it onto one of the bunks.
“That’s most of the unit, ‘cept for the brothers I was telling you about. I’m sure if you wait a couple of minutes, they’ll show. I forgot about Con’s appointment this afternoon--he caught a flash-bang point-blank about a week ago. Medtechs said they don’t think there’s any permanent damage but they keep checking up on him to be sure. Last word we got was a few weeks before he could see again and a little while after that until he’s back on active combat duty.”
Rough life in this unit. “Is he your sniper or your XO?”
“Sniper and logistics. You wouldn’t happen to be a crack shot, too, would you?”
“No, sir, I wouldn’t consider myself a crack shot.” Pretty desperate to not be without a sniper. That doesn’t bode well. “Is he your only one?”
Winchester shook his head. “Nah. Liv’s got training in it, too. Con’s usually better for logistics, to tell you the truth. It’s just nice to have an extra sniper, y’know?”
Behind us, the door swung open, admitting two men--one dark-haired and sharing the somewhat slight build that I had, the other with blond-brown hair and silver-blue eyes. The dark-haired one wore an olive green bandana over his eyes--he was the “Con” everyone had been referring to. My heart skipped a beat. I knew these men--knew them better than I had ever known anyone in my life.
Winchester turned, grinning. “Speak of the devil. Captain Anders, this is Lieutenant Connor Davies and his brother, Captain Lucian Davies.”
I could feel my heart thudding against my breastbone and I could hear the blood pounding in my ears. Lucian looked toward me and extended his hand. I willed my own hand not to tremble as I shook his. I started to calm down as I realized that there was no hint of recognition in his eyes. His voice was the same as I remembered. “It’s good to meet you, Captain. From your uniform, I assume you’re our new pilot.”
My fiancée doesn’t even recognize me. Relief tinged with regret flooded through me. Five years ago, I was ready to spend the rest of my life with this man, the one who stood before me. I had thought him dead for the last five years--I had forced myself to forget him in order to go on with my life.
Now here he was, standing in front of me, not knowing who I was. I didn’t want that to hurt, but it did--it did. I forced a smile and hoped it didn’t look as forced as it felt. “That’s me. Cat Anders.”
“Lucian Davies--unit calls me Luc.” He released my hand, then guided his companion’s hand--my brother’s hand--to mine. Connor grasped my hand with a surprisingly strong grip.
He smiled a little. “Con Davies. Welcome to the team, Captain Anders.”
He has to know. He’d know my voice. He must know my voice. But if Luc doesn’t remember me... I shook his hand and released it. “It’s good to meet you, Lieutenant.”
Lucian slung his arm across Connor’s shoulders. “C’mon, bro, let’s get you back to bed.”
Connor nodded. “Right, right. Just don’t let me trip over anything, OK?”
I watched them walk away, toward a back corner of the room, barely concealing a wince at Lucian’s easy laughter and his good-natured response to Connor. “Sure, bro, sure.”
No, no, no! It shouldn’t hurt this much. It shouldn’t hurt! They’ve been dead to me for five years! They’re still dead to me! That’s what I want. That’s what I need. I looked away from them. But they’re not dead. They’re alive, and Connor’s the only family I have. And Luc...
No. I can’t. I have a job to do, and so do they. To each other, we’re dead. That’s all there is to it. I looked at Winchester. “So those two are the brothers you wanted me to meet?”
Winchester nodded. “They were a couple of the only people to walk out of the rubble at Gattica--well, to come out of it, anyway. I’m not sure either of them quite walked out of it.” He patted my shoulder. “They’re a couple of good guys. Anyway, I’ll let you get settled. Squad has a briefing tomorrow.”
Tomorrow? I’m not technically on-duty until Monday... “Sir--”
“You’re not on this one--we’re heading out with another unit.” He gently turned me around and steered me out of the barrack. “Walk with me, Captain. I have a favor to ask you.”
“A favor to ask or an unspoken order, sir?” I glanced toward him. His expression betrayed some indignance and some offense at my statement.
“A favor, Captain. Believe me, if it was an order, I’d let you know.” He escorted me down the hall, where he’d told me my bunk was. “With the unit on assignment, that means we’re going to have to leave Connor behind here alone. His current condition makes it hard for him to get around on his own and generally function normally, and he was talking about getting some work for the team done while we’re on deployment. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t ask this of you, but I don’t want to hand him back over to the medtechs right now. I mean, he just got out of their hands, and it’s bad enough they want him in as often as they do...”
I stopped walking and looked at Winchester. “Sir, the sales pitch is lovely, and I really do appreciate your candor and the explanation, but I do think that you could make this easier on both of us by cutting to the chase.”
He nodded. “All right, then. I’m asking you to be Connor’s eyes while we’re gone. We shouldn’t be long, but...”
“It’s the principle of it, I know.” I shrugged. “If that’s all you need, sir, I’ll do it.”
His eyes lit up--I don’t think he’d actually counted on me agreeing, at least not as quickly as I had. “You will?”
“Sure thing. It’s the least I can do.” For the brother I thought I lost. God, what am I doing? What’s wrong with me? I thought I’d made my choice. But Luc...I need to know what happened. I need to know why he doesn’t know me, and only Connor will know the answer to that, if anyone does. Besides, the instant Connor actually sees me, he’ll know, and then it’ll all be over...God, what’s wrong with me? Five years of cultivated forgetfulness, frigidity. Five years, wasted. I can’t let knowing that Luc and Connor are alive affect the way I operate. My life means nothing. The mission is everything. I pointed down the hall. “My barrack’s down that way, right?”
Winchester nodded. “Right down that way. I’ll leave you to settle in. You might join us for dinner later.”
I shook my head. “Thanks for the offer, sir, but I think I’m going to grab some rack time--it was a long flight in. When do you all leave tomorrow?”
“Early--around 0600 is briefing, and we’ll be gone shortly after that.”
I nodded. “Understood, sir. Good luck on your mission and have a good evening.” I saluted him and then headed for where he’d said my barrack was.
The room was tiny, a single, and my gear was sitting on the narrow bunk. I turned up the lights as I let the door close behind me. This is home. Welcome home, Cat.
I started to unpack my things, stowing most of it in the footlocker under the bed that I noticed now had my name emblazoned on it. I hung up my flightsuit and dress uniform before I turned down the lights and changed out of my clothes, selecting something suitable to sleep in, moving to the tiny bathroom I had all to myself--quite a shift from the communal facilities I was used to.
I wished the scalding water that poured over me in the shower would burn away the memories of my past. Once, I’d almost been able to forget completely home and everything not of my ser
vice in the armed forces--I’d been able to forget Gattica and all that went with it. I’d wrapped myself completely in the tragedy that was Catherine Anders’s life, the story I’d told the intelligence officers that had interviewed me when I defected from E-Fed to the Alliance. In that story, the new history I’d written for myself on the long flight from Io to Alliance space, I was Catherine Anders, who’d lost her new husband along with the rest of her family when Gattica Province died. She was alone in the universe, an ace pilot with nothing to lose. I’d had the skills to back up part of that. Everything else came with the numbness born of my total certainty that everyone I’d known and loved was gone. All the reports said no one from Roanoke, where I’d been born and grown up, had survived unless they were off-world at the time. As far as I’d known, everyone was gone. The story hadn’t been a lie, not entirely. Only parts of it had been fabricated, and there was no way to check those facts beyond accessing my E-Fed service file. No one had bothered to do that, only talked to my squadmates and subordinates. None of the Fallen Angels had gainsaid my story. As far as they were concerned, whatever I’d told the Alliance military officials was true.
I hoped that I’d be able to completely focus on accomplishing my missions, as I had before I’d found out that they were alive. I didn’t want to allow the knowledge of my brother and fiancé’s