“I love you so much it hurts.” He raises a hand and brushes his fingertips down my cheek to my jaw. “You are the most amazing person I’ve ever met, sugar.”
“I love you too,” I whisper. “And it scares the shit out of me.”
He kisses me again and suddenly I hear someone clearing their throat from beside us.
“Your ass is in the air. You know that, right?” Zack asks.
I pull away and glance around the busy restaurant, which has now gone quiet. Everyone is watching us raptly.
“He just said he loves me!” I announce with a wide smile. There are smiles and cheers and applause. Zack laughs and stands to guide me back to my chair. From across the room, I can see my eighth-grade history teacher. “Hi, Mrs. Anderson!”
She waves and I turn my attention back to my handsome date. “Did you have Mrs. Anderson for history?”
“No.”
“I liked her.” I brace my chin on my fist and watch Zack happily. “What’s wrong?”
“Absolutely nothing. Aside from your ass being in the air for everyone to see for longer than I’m comfortable with.”
“Who gives a shit if anyone could see my ass?” I shake my head and sip my wine. “My man just told me he loved me. I had to get to you as quickly as possible.”
“And right over the top of the table was the quickest route?” He offers me a half smile, his brown eyes shining with happiness.
“Yes.”
“Good to know.” Our dishes are served and my stomach growls in anticipation. “Hungry?”
“Oh my God, so hungry.” I dive into my chicken marsala with gusto.
“Didn’t you have lunch?”
“Yes, I ate a whole foot-long sandwich. I don’t know why I’m so hungry lately.”
“Speaking of feet,” Zack says dryly, “Seth needs new boots. Since you have Friday afternoon off, do you want to ride with us to pick some out?”
“Sure,” I reply and take another bite of food and then I remember my appointment. “Oh, crap. I can’t.”
He cocks a brow in question.
“I just made a doctor’s appointment.”
“Are you okay?” He lowers his fork to his plate and frowns at me, giving me his undivided attention.
“Oh, I’m fine.” I take another bite of food and shake my head. “I have issues regulating my cycles, so sometimes I have to go in and have it taken care of.”
He grimaces and then takes a swig of wine. “That’s a little TMI, baby. A simple ‘I need a checkup’ would have sufficed.”
“Sorry.” I laugh and butter a piece of warm bread. “I need a checkup. But if you want to come to my place after, I can make you guys dinner.”
“I think Seth is going to go to Josiah’s for the night. They seem to be inseparable these days. Plus, Seth needs something to do. This whole being on winter break thing is getting old.”
“Ready to go back to school, is he?” I ask with a laugh.
“Yeah, we’re both ready. If I hear ‘Dad, I’m bored’ one more time, I might kill him.”
I giggle and finish my dinner. “I doubt that. Does he go back Monday?”
“Yes, thankfully. But if Josiah’s family decides to adopt him over the weekend, I won’t put up a fight.”
“I might put up a fight,” I reply seriously. “I’d miss him.”
“I love that you love my kid,” Zack says softly and takes my hand in his, lacing our fingers.
“This wouldn’t work if I wasn’t fond of Seth, Zack. You’re a package deal, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“I know, and that’s just one of the things I love about you.”
“I like hearing that.” The waitress returns with our paid check, and without another word, Zack stands and helps me into my coat and out to his truck.
“When I heard that we were celebrating, I asked Josh and Cara if they’d let Seth bunk with them tonight.”
“Does that mean . . .?”
“It means,” he says as he pulls into my driveway and cuts the engine, “that I don’t have to race out of here in the middle of the night.”
I smile widely and watch him with hungry eyes as he walks around the truck and lifts me out of the passenger seat and holds me close to him as he carries me up to the front door.
He sets me down and waits patiently while I unlock the door, step inside, and shed my coat. He’s not speaking, and he seems calm, but there’s a new intensity to him. When I turn around to face him, he’s removed his suit jacket, and he backs me up against the wall without touching me. He pulls at his tie, loosening it, staring down at my lips, my eyes.
My breasts.
“Do you have any idea,” he murmurs softly, “how fucking gorgeous you look tonight?”
My breathing quickens as he unbuttons the cuffs of his shirt and then down the front, pulls it out of his pants, and peels it off his broad, muscled shoulders and drops it to the floor.
“What are you wearing under that dress?” he whispers.
“Why don’t you take it off me and find out?” I reply with a saucy smile.
“I’m going to touch you, Jilly,” he breathes and barely drags the tip of his nose down my cheek to my neck. “I’m going to explore every amazing fucking inch of your body.”
“Oh my.”
“And baby?”
“Yeah?”
“Keep those shoes on.”
I smile as his nose glides back up my neck to my ear. If the wall weren’t at my back, I’d be on the floor because I’m pretty sure my knees gave out on me a while ago.
He wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me straight up off the floor, so my feet are dangling and his face is pressed to my throat. He’s panting now, as turned on as I am. I want to cry out when my breasts press against his chest, but suddenly, he sets me back on my feet next to my bed and turns me away from him so he can lower my zipper. The motion is so fucking slow, I want to scream at him to hurry up.
“Zack, hurry,” I whisper instead.
“Oh no. This isn’t going to be fast.” When the zipper is down, the dress falls and pools at my feet. “Fucking A, Jilly, it’s like unwrapping the most amazing Christmas present.”
My lips twitch into a smile. “Can I turn back around now?”
“Not yet.” His hands glide from my shoulders down to the hooks of my bra. He unfastens it and it falls away, making me gasp softly.
“Okay?” he asks.
“I’m a little tender,” I reply.
“I’ll be gentle.” His hands journey down my back, my sides, to my hips, where he hooks his fingers into my black lace panties and tugs them down until they also pool at my feet. “I fucking love your ass.”
“It’s a little round,” I murmur and bite my lip when I feel him squat behind me, cup my ass, and place wet, sucking kisses on either cheek.
“Perfect.” He spreads the cheeks of my ass and presses his face to my core, licking my pussy lips, up and down and back and forth, and I have no choice but to lean forward against the tall mattress.
“Holy shit.” I reach behind me to bury my fingers in his hair, but he takes my wrist in his grasp and holds my hand against the small of my back, rendering me helpless as he stands, and, keeping me pressed to the mattress and my arm behind my back, unbuckles his belt, and releases his pants. I hear them hit the floor with a clang and suddenly, he’s guiding his hard erection through my folds and pushes inside me. I gasp in surprise and then moan with the intensity of it all.
“You are stunning,” he growls and kisses my shoulder as he begins moving in and out of me fiercely. “I can’t take my eyes off you. Even in a roomful of people, you’re all I see.”
“Oh my God, Zack,” I whimper, trying to thrust my hips back to meet his hips, but he has me held still.
“You make me crazy. I dream of you, whether I’m asleep or wide awake trying to work.” He suddenly pulls out, turns me around, and boosts me up onto the bed, lying back so my hips are at the edge. He wraps my legs
around his hips and dives right back in, locking my gaze with his own.
I cup his cheek in my palm and guide his lips to mine.
“You are the best part of my life,” he whispers gently. “I didn’t know it was possible to feel this fucking fiercely about anyone aside from Seth. To want to protect and love anyone the way I do you.”
“I love you too.” I wrap my arms and legs around him tightly and hold on with all my might as he pounds in and out of me, riding me hard as though he’s been swept away with too much emotion and just can’t hold it in anymore.
He pushes a hand between us, presses his thumb against my clit, and sends me right over the edge into oblivion. I cry out with the surprise of the intense orgasm wracking my body.
“Jilly,” he breathes and stills, his whole body clenched hard, as he comes, surrendering to his own climax.
He’s sweating, panting, and his heart is pounding a fast beat as he braces himself over me and tries to compose himself.
“Did I hurt you?” he asks softly.
“Never.” I hold him closer and kiss his cheek. “You’d never hurt me.”
He stands and pulls out of me, then leads me to the bathroom. I reach for the pins in my hair, but he stills my hands. “Wait. Leave it up.” He turns on the bath and while it fills, he boosts me onto the countertop, helps me out of my shoes, and rubs my feet with firm thumbs.
“Sweet Jesus, you’re good with your hands,” I moan.
“Like that, do you?”
“Mm,” I reply and sigh as his thumb pushes up my arch. “Just do this for about a year, and I’ll be good to go.”
“If the shoes hurt your feet so much, why do you wear them?”
“It’s not the shoes’ fault.” When his hands still I open one eye to find him staring at me with disbelief. “They don’t hurt my feet. You just have magical hands. You could rub me all day every day and I’d never get tired of it.”
“Would it sound as sweet if I said that you could rub my cock all day every day and I’d never tire of it?” he wonders aloud, making me snort.
“No. It doesn’t sound as nice. Sexy, but not nice.” I grin up at him as he switches feet and administers the same attention to the other foot. “You looked so handsome tonight. Thank you for dressing up for me.”
“My pleasure. I don’t really mind wearing a suit.” His hands glide up my calves to my thighs. “Mom used to make Josh and me wear suits to church on Sundays.”
“I like your mom.”
“She likes you.”
He nibbles my lips as he lifts me off the counter and lowers me into the steamy water.
“Hot,” I mutter and take a deep breath.
“Too hot?” he pauses.
“No, just need a second to get used to it.” I grin and then sigh deeply as I feel my muscles loosen in the steam. “This tub is big enough for two.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.” He winks and climbs in behind me, pulls me against his chest, and kisses my head.
“Thank you for celebrating with me tonight.”
“You’re welcome. Congratulations, sugar.” He kisses me again and pulls a washcloth off the ledge, wets and soaps it, and begins dragging it over my body. When he reaches my breasts, I suck in another breath as the soft cloth feels like it’s going to peel my nipple right off.
“I’m sorry, baby. You’re that sore?”
“Yeah. It’s okay. Damn hormones.”
He continues cleaning the rest of me, and when he’s done, I take the cloth and return the favor, running it over his legs, hips, and stomach and then pay his dick special attention. He hardens in my grasp, but doesn’t make any moves to make love to me again. Instead, once we’re clean, he helps me out of the tub, dries me off, and leads me to the bed. I yawn widely.
“Tired?”
“It’s been a long day,” I reply.
He peels back the covers and tucks me next to him, covers us both, and wraps me in his arms. I glance up at him in surprise. He doesn’t want to make love again?
“You’ll most likely wake up with me inside you,” he whispers and kisses my cheek, drags his nose to my jaw, and plants another kiss there. “But for tonight, I just want to hold you while you sleep.”
I grin and sigh, luxuriating in his strong embrace, and let myself drift into blissful sleep.
CHAPTER
Sixteen
“Hi, Jill,” Hannah says with a smile as she enters the small exam room. I’m naked under a worn blue hospital gown that’s gaping open in the back, and there’s a paper blanket over my lap.
“Hi, Dr. Malone,” I reply with a grin.
“It’s just Hannah,” she says with a wave. “I’m not that formal.”
“Oh, good,” I reply.
“So, tell me what’s going on.” She sits on a black rolling stool and looks up at me expectantly.
“I might as well start at the beginning, so get comfy.” I take a deep breath and start my story. “I have a diagnosis of unexplained infertility. My ex-husband and I tried for many years to get pregnant. We went through everything from artificial insemination to in vitro, and nothing worked.”
“I did have a chance to read through your records from the other office,” Hannah says and nods. “Sounds like it must have been a very frustrating time for you.”
“That’s an understatement,” I reply softly. “Since the last treatments over a year ago, my cycles have been all screwy. I sometimes go several months between periods, and when that happens, I’d just get a medication to sort of jump-start my system again, then I’d be regular for a few more months.”
“So, I take it you’ve been irregular again?” she asks while jotting down notes.
“Yeah. It just occurred to me the other day that I haven’t had a period since about October.”
“Are you having any sort of symptoms now?”
“Sore breasts, sleepy during the day, typical PMS for me, although my breasts are more tender than usual.”
“Hmm, interesting. I see that you stopped by for a blood and urine sample yesterday and”—she taps some keys on her iPad—“it doesn’t look like those results are in quite yet, so I’m going to leave you here for a moment and call the lab to see if they’re ready.”
“Thanks, Hannah. I appreciate it.”
“No problem. Be back shortly.”
When Hannah leaves the room, I grab my phone and see that I’ve missed a text from Zack.
Zack: How was the dr?
Me: Still here. Waiting for blood results. What do u want for dinner?
Zack: Mexican?
Me: Yum. ;)
The door opens and Hannah breezes back into the room, closes it behind her, and is examining her iPad closely.
“That was faster than I expected,” I say jokingly. Hannah grins and finishes reading the report.
“The report just came through,” she murmurs then looks up at me with bright eyes.
“So, do you need the name of my pharmacy?”
“Yes, but not for progesterone.” Hannah sets her iPad down and faces me squarely. “Jill, I have a feeling this is going to shock the hell out of you, but you’re pregnant.”
I blink at her for several seconds and suddenly my stomach drops to my knees and a cold sweat breaks out all over my body.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re pregnant, Jill.”
I shake my head and fight to wrap my head around the words coming out of her mouth. “That’s impossible.”
“No, apparently it’s not.”
“I’m infertile.”
“You have unexplained infertility. Many things can factor into that. It doesn’t mean that you can never get pregnant, it means that your doctors could never understand why you weren’t getting pregnant.”
I bite my lip and keep my eyes trained on Hannah’s face.
“I’m sorry. Did you just say that I’m fucking pregnant?”
“Yes.” She smiles softly and waits for my mind to catch up. “I take it thi
s isn’t a good thing?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper. “I mean, of course it’s good. It’s a baby. Do you know how long and how hard I tried for this? What I put my body through for years?”
“Yes, Jill, I do. So, now we need to figure out how far along you are.”
My heart stills and I feel my eyes go wide. “I haven’t had a period in a while, but Zack and I first started sleeping together at the beginning of December. If I’m having symptoms already, that must be when I ovulated.”
Hannah is nodding in agreement. “I agree. The symptoms you’re having are typical for a pregnancy this early. No morning sickness yet?”
“No, just hungry. And really thirsty.”
“That’s normal too.”
“Well, shit, those are also PMS symptoms.”
“I know—why do you think women who are trying to get pregnant make themselves crazy, misreading symptoms?”
“This wasn’t even in the realm of possibility for me,” I whisper. “I think I’m in shock.”
“That’s perfectly normal too. I’m going to prescribe some prenatal vitamins for you. Get plenty of sleep, watch what you eat, and take care of yourself.”
“No ultrasound?”
“It’s way too early for that yet.” Hannah smiles gently and squeezes my shoulder. “Congratulations. I’ll want to see you again in four weeks.”
“Thank you.” I smile back at her and watch as she leaves the room. I move in what feels like slow motion, pulling my clothes on with shaking hands. I can’t make the shaking stop.
Holy shit, I’m going to have a baby! Zack and I are going to have a baby. I smile widely and briefly wonder what Seth will think. Oh, I hope he’s happy.
Shit, what if Zack isn’t happy?
The thought stops me in my tracks, but then I shake it off. He just told me he loves me. We’re in a monogamous, committed relationship, for crying out loud. Life happens and sometimes it throws you a curveball.
This curveball just happens to be in the form of a baby.
A baby.
I make my appointment for a month out, pick up my prescription, and walk on numb feet out to my car, where I sit in the driver’s seat and stare at the building before me for long minutes. All that work. The long months—years—of medication and giving myself shots in the ass and hot flashes. The hundreds of ultrasounds and needle sticks and being told over and over again, No. No, it didn’t work. No, you’re not pregnant.