Read Farm Tales: Short Stories, Games, Jokes, and More! Page 2
fence. He thought that this would be enough and he could have a rest. That was when Buddy had a great idea.
“We need to get capes,” Buddy said as he watched the cow walk slowly into the barn. Herman could not believe his ears. They had tried to get capes 10 or 15 times in the last two years and it had yet to work. It was just a waste of time as far as he was concerned. He tried to reason with Buddy, but the only response he got was, “Super heroes need capes and so do their sidekicks.”
Herman finally looked up from the grass he was chewing. He followed Buddy’s eyes to the clothesline were the farmer’s wife was hanging up towels. She finished hanging the towels and went inside the house. “You stand in front of the fence and I will use you to jump over the fence,” the Wonder Goat said. Herman knew he would just be pushed into position any way so he got in front of the fence.
“You know,” said Herman, “I think the super hero thing to do would be to charge through the fence.” Herman was hoping that would be enough to change Buddy’s mind about using the sheep as a platform.
“You’re right,” said Buddy, “I should act like a super hero.” Buddy ran at the fence and gave it everything he had. He busted through the fence and was on his way to get their capes. Herman found this a great time to lay on the ground and get some rest! Herman thought to himself, “That is what super heroes do.”
Lucky the Rooster
Lucky was a smaller rooster, but he was the bravest rooster on the farm. He was truly a magnificent bird. All of the hens in the coop thought that Lucky was the most handsome rooster that they had ever seen.
Lucky was also very fast. His flashy looks were just a part of what made him look so good. It was also his confidence in the face of danger. Lucky was fast enough that he always thought he could run himself out of trouble.
The only real trouble on the farm was a fox named Horace. Horace loved the taste of chicken and he really only had one purpose in life, to eat chickens. Horace tried to attack the chickens every day and most of the time he was chased off by the bulldog, Tex. However, it was getting harder and harder to rely on Tex. As the bulldog got older, he started to sleep more and more. In fact, the last time that Horace came to the coop he almost ate poor Eleanor.
This morning as Lucky watched the farm boy go to his hammock, he noticed a white piece of fur sticking out from behind a mound of straw. The fur swayed back and forth, but it was not the wind that was moving this fur. Lucky knew that Horace was at the end of that tail. The young rooster surveyed the farmyard. Tex was dozing on the porch. The bulldog’s heavy brow was firmly over his little eyes. Lucky looked over at the hammock, the farm boy was fast asleep.
Lucky called to the hens, “Get to the top of the coop!” The rooster knew that Horace could not get to the top perches inside of the chicken coop. Three of the hens flew inside the coop and got to safety. Lucky stared at Eleanor, who was quaking in fear. Lucky called out to her, but the hen could not move. Lucky knew he had to do something to save Eleanor.
“Where is Wonder Goat when you need him?” asked Lucky as he looked over to see the goat pulling towels off the clothes line. Herman, who was standing nearby, shrugged at the rooster and continued to graze.
Lucky jumped from the roof of the barn and flapped his wings furiously to get over the fence. He charged out towards the fox that was creeping ever closer to the coop. Horace ran out to meet the rooster. Lucky dangled his long feathered tail at the fox, and danced around to make the tail as tantalizing as possible. Horace dove for the tail. Like a matador fighting a bull, Lucky swished his tail out of the way and narrowly escaped Horace’s jaws. Lucky continued to tease the fox, “You can’t catch me!” He shouted at his enemy. Lucky continued to make his tail as big as possible and he kept shaking it at Horace.
Lucky had one target in mind and he kept moving Horace closer and closer to it. With each miss of the Rooster’s tail the fox grew madder and madder. He had completely lost track of what part of the barnyard he was in. Horace was focused on that red feathered tail in front of him as he charged. He was moving as fast as his legs could go as he dove. The rooster’s tail swung out of the way to reveal...the dog house. Horace was nose to nose with Tex the bulldog. Horace turned to run, but it was hard to turn in such a tight space.
Lucky did not wait to see the results of his victory. He heard a loud yelp and saw the fox running towards the woods.
Horace never tried to mess with the chickens again!
Eleanor’s Egg
As Lucky walked back to the coop he heard a, “BBBBGGGGAAAAAAAWWWWWWKKKKKKKKKKKK!” It sounded like no other sound he had heard before. Lucky saw Eleanor rise up four feet in the air. She was sitting atop the largest egg any of the chickens had ever seen. Eleanor passed out on top of the egg. Lucky had never seen her so tired. All of the chickens came out of the coop to look at the weird orb that sat in the middle of their yard.
Lucky tried to keep the other chickens back. The hens wanted to get close to it, but Lucky knew that they would just peck at it until it broke. They are chickens after all and that is what they do. Lucky wanted to keep the giant egg. As he fought off the three hens, Lucky had an idea. “Tex,” called Lucky, “Can you find me some straw?”
The bulldog spit a patch of red fox fur out of his mouth and nodded his head. “Ok, ladies, we are saving this egg.” Lucky told the hens. They all agreed to help.
Lucky relaxed his hold on the chickens as Tex started throwing bits of straw over the fence. The chickens got to work covering up the egg. “We will hide it from the farmers and it will be our special egg.” said Lucky as he went back to get more straw.
He had only turned his back for a minute when he heard, “Crack, BOOM!” The egg exploded. The giant shell fell away and the sleeping Eleanor fell too. Inside the giant egg hundreds of little eggs rolled across the little fenced in the yard outside the coop.
There was no need to ask who had done it. Frozen in the pecking position, Ethel looked utterly confounded. She was staring straight ahead, her body was as still as a statue. Lucky could not believe it either, and he glared at Ethel as the eggs rolled around his feet.
The boom was so loud it woke the farm boy from his slumbers. Ricky yawned and stretched as he slowly got himself out of the hammock. Tex ran up to Ricky with a fox tail in his mouth. “Gross, Tex, where do you find this?” Ricky took the fox tail and put it in the back pocket of his coveralls. Tex groaned and then followed Ricky through the farmyard. Ricky walked over to the cow pasture and he noticed a flower along the way. He picked the purple flower as he approached the fence and Delores came trotting over to the farm boy. Ricky put the flower in the collar that held Delores’ cow bell. The cow went happily on her way.
Ricky walked over to see Buddy and Herman. The sheep was grazing happily as the goat slept by the fence post.
“Why is that goat so lazy, Tex?” Ricky asked as the bulldog as he put his front legs up on the fence to get closer to his friend. Ricky patted the old dog. “I am just going to grab the eggs real quick and then we will go for lunch,” the young boy told his faithful companion. Tex groaned, he knew that lunch was a long ways off.
Ricky stood there puzzled at why there was so many egg shells on the ground.
“Looks like a giant egg exploded,” he said as he started picking up the smaller eggs on the ground.
Farm Jokes
Q: What do chickens serve at a birthday party?
A: Coop-cakes!
Q: How much money did the bronco have?
A: Only a buck!
Q: Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team?
A: Pigs want to be pulled through the mud hole!
Q: What is the golden rule for a cow?
A: Do unto udders as you would have udders do unto you!
Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
A: An eggroll!
Q: Why did the piglets do so bad in school?
A: They were all slow-loiners!
Q: What happ
ens when a cow stops shaving?
A: It grows a mooostache!
Q: What do you give a sick horse?
A: Cough stirrup!
Q: What do you give a sick pig?
A: Oinkment!
Q: Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
A: He was not what he was cracked up to be!
Q: What do cows get when they feel sick?
A: Hay fever!
Q: What does it mean if you find a horse shoe?
A: A horse is walking around in his socks!
Q: How long do chickens usually work?
A: Around the cluck!
Q: What do cows like to do at amooosement parks?
A: Ride the roller cowsters!
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: Alarm cluck!
Q: What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
A: His bark was much worse than his bite!
Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: Let a cow jump on a trampoline!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: He wanted to get to the other slide!
Q: How does a cow do math?
A: With a cowculator!
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To prove he was not a chicken!
Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the whole show!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
A: He heard the referee calling fowls!
Q: In what state will you find the most cows?
A: Moo York!
Q: How do you get a dog to stop barking in the front yard?