“Wait a minute,” Riley said. “You are not going to walk home in the dark. I’ll give you a lift.”
“I can—” Suze began and looked out at the dark street. “Thank you,” she said. “I’d love a ride.”
She got into his car and sat quietly while he put it in gear and turned down Third Street. “You going to be late for your date?”
“Don’t have a date,” he said. “Just a party.”
“Nobody to kiss on New Year’s Eve?”
“There will be somebody to kiss,” Riley said as he turned to make the circle around the park. “There’s always somebody to kiss on New Year’s Eve.”
Suze thought about her big empty house for a couple of blocks. “Not always.”
He was quiet for a minute, and then he said, “Jack is an idiot.”
“Jack’s been married for fourteen years. The zing goes.”
“Not yours.”
“Oh, yeah?” Suze lifted her chin. “You think I’ve got zing?”
“You don’t seem too pleased about Nell and Gabe. Or are you just being cool?”
“It was inevitable,” Suze said, accepting the subject change. She’d been pushing her luck, anyway. Pathetic. “I don’t know what she was waiting for.” I don’t know what I’m waiting for.
“Gabe was waiting for July,” Riley said. “The dumbass.”
“Why July?”
“Two-year recovery period.”
Suze thought about it. “You know, Tim dumped her two years ago Christmas. She didn’t get the divorce until July, but he left her on Christmas.”
“So Gabe wins again,” Riley said. “The guy’s a master.”
He pulled up in front of her house, and Suze felt like saying, “Take me to the party with you.” But she couldn’t. Jack might come home.
Jack wasn’t coming home. He was with somebody else. Nobody left a wife alone on New Year’s Eve unless he was with a mistress. She knew that from having been a mistress.
“You okay?” Riley said.
“Kiss me,” Suze said, and he froze. “I mean it. I’m going back to that house alone and it’s New Year’s Eve and I want to be kissed. Feel sorry for me and kiss me.”
“No,” Riley said.
“Ouch,” Suze said. “Sorry.” She yanked on the door handle.
“Look,” Riley said. “It’s not—”
She stopped and looked back at him. “What?”
“You deserve better.”
“Than you?”
“Than Jack. And God knows, better than me.”
“I didn’t mean to put you in that position. You know, a married woman coming on to you—”
“Any guy would be glad to be in that position.” He sounded sorry for her, which made her mad.
“Yeah, right. Thanks for the ride.”
She turned to open the door and looked up to see Jack, standing beside the car with his fists in his jacket pockets.
“Uh-oh,” she said, and Riley bent to see past her out the car window.
“Oh, good,” Riley said. “You want me to stay?”
“I don’t think that will help,” Suze said, pushing the door open.
He caught her arm. “Is he—”
“He doesn’t hit,” Suze said. “He yells, but that’s okay. I’m all right.”
Riley let go of her, and she got out of the car and slammed the door shut.
“Very nice,” Jack said. “I come home to celebrate New Year’s Eve with my wife—”
“Damn big of you.” Suze said and pushed past him to go up the steps.
“Who is that?” Jack said.
“Riley McKenna.” Suze reached the porch and put her key in the lock. “He brought me home when I went looking for Nell.”
“Good story,” Jack said, following her up the steps.
Suze went inside and turned on the light and waved to Riley to go on. “Not a story. You got one for me?”
“I told you, I was at work—”
“I called,” Suze said, watching Riley’s taillights skim down the street toward his party. “You didn’t answer.”
“The switchboard shuts down at night.”
“I called your cell phone.”
“I turned it off.”
“Really?” Suze said. “Why?”
“Are you sleeping with him?”
“With Riley?” Suze started up the stairs, suddenly so tired she could hardly move. “No. I barely know the man.”
He grabbed her arm and jerked her off the steps, and she sucked in her breath, shocked out of her exhaustion.
“You’re fucking him,” Jack said, and she looked at him and didn’t care anymore.
“If I was sleeping with Riley,” she said, “I’d be with Riley. I wouldn’t be standing here pretending I still had a relationship with you.” She jerked her arm away and rubbed it and waited for him to raise his hand and hit her because then she could leave him.
“You told me you were going to be with Nell,” he said. “You told me—”
“Nell’s with Gabe,” Suze said, “which is good. Nobody should be alone on New Year’s Eve.” She started up the stairs again, daring him to stop her.
“This is her fault,” Jack said. “Budge was right, she’s a bad influence. You were never like this before she moved down here.”
“I’ll have to thank her for that,” Suze said, and climbed toward the darkness at the top because it was better than the light he was standing in at the bottom.
* * *
Six blocks away, through a postcoital drowse, Gabe listened with only half his attention to the celebrations on TV.
“This is great,” Nell said. “One big party everywhere, no trauma.”
“Good.” Gabe settled deeper into his bed, too damn tired and much too satisfied to care.
“I still feel bad about Suze, though. She sounded so down when I called her. I’m a terrible friend.”
“Umhm,” Gabe said into his pillow, praying she’d run down soon. She’d put as much energy into them as he had, and now she was sitting up naked beside him, eating potato chips and doing a play-by-play of the fireworks. If she didn’t shut up in the next five minutes, he was going to have to drug her.
“Hey.” She smacked his shoulder, and he rolled back to see her grinning down at him, the potato chip bag in her hand, her hair making her look like a firecracker in his bed. “We are too new for you to take me for granted. Let’s have a little courtship here, shall we?”
“Why?” he said. “I scored. It’s over.”
She let her mouth drop open in mock rage, and he laughed and pulled her down to him while she fought him the whole way, sending the potato chip bag flying.
“I am not taking you for granted,” he said in her ear as she squirmed. “I’m exhausted from not taking you for granted.”
She stopped fighting, and he closed his eyes in pleasure at all her suddenly pliant softness pressed against him. He heard a rustle and realized that Marlene had crept up from the bottom of the bed and was dragging the potato chip bag back with her while the TV chanted the countdown for the new year. There’s a dog in my bed, he thought and wondered when she’d jumped up. He was fairly certain she’d waited until all the thrashing was over or they’d have kicked her into a wall. Marlene had excellent survival skills.
“I’m happy,” Nell whispered in his ear, her voice all smiles, and he thought, I can sleep later.
He rolled so they were side by side, pulling her closer, still amazed that she was there with him, that he’d finally done all the things he’d been trying not to think about and that they’d turned out to be so much better than he’d tried not to imagine. “Me, too. Happy New Year, kid.”
He kissed her softly this time, and she relaxed into him and then said, “Look!” He followed her eyes up to the skylight now filled with fireworks like shooting stars. “Everything is perfect,” she said to him. “Absolutely everything.”
“Don’t say that,” he said, feeling a chill. “You’re temptin
g fate.”
“I don’t believe in fate,” Nell said, and he remembered that four months ago Chloe had said they’d be here, that it was in their stars. He started to tell her and then thought, Not a good time to mention Chloe.
“What?” she said, and he said, “Nothing,” and she raised herself up on one elbow, prepared to argue it out of him.
“Truce for one night,” he said, pulling her back, “just for tonight,” and when she said, “But—” he kissed her quiet again, and then held her until she fell asleep, watching the fireworks fade above them.
* * *
“So you slept with Gabe,” Suze said at brunch the next day at the Sycamore.
Nell tried to look innocent but she had too many good memories, so she grinned instead and cut another piece of French toast. “And Happy New Year’s Day to you, too.”
“Really?” Margie cocked her head and surveyed Nell, looking a lot like a dim little bird. “Imagine you married to a detective.”
“Imagine me not married to a detective,” Nell said. “I’m not doing that again.”
“Nell McKenna,” Margie said. “That’s pretty.” She poured extra syrup over her chocolate-chip pancakes. “Romantic.”
“Beats Dysart,” Suze said, stabbing her eggs Benedict.
Nell and Margie looked at her and then at each other.
“I never liked Margie Dysart,” Margie said.
“She was okay once you got used to her,” Suze said, and Nell laughed.
Margie was considering things. “I think Margie Jenkins would be okay, although it sounds sort of low class.”
“Don’t tell Budge,” Nell said. “He’ll change it.”
“Margie Ogilvie is still my favorite, though,” Margie said.
“So keep your name.” Suze sounded annoyed with the whole conversation.
“Nobody would know I was married,” Margie said.
“Which would make it all the easier to cheat,” Suze said.
Margie frowned at her. “What is wrong with you?”
“Jack caught me coming home last night with Riley McKenna,” Suze said, still torturing her eggs. “I was looking for Nell and he brought me home. It’s past eleven on New Year’s Eve, and Jack accuses me of fooling around. So I locked myself in the bedroom. The hell with him.”
“Oh, no,” Nell said, feeling horrible. “That’s my fault. I am so sorry about last night, that was a terrible thing, I just forgot you—”
“Under the circumstances, no,” Suze said. “Way to go, Eleanor, that’s what I think about that.”
“Men always know,” Margie said. “Stewart was jealous of Budge.”
Suze swung her head around to Margie. “What?”
“Stewart. He was jealous of Budge. Because I liked Budge better, the way you like Riley.”
“I am not having an affair,” Suze said coldly.
“Well, of course not,” Margie said. “But you like Riley better than Jack.”
“Uh, Margie,” Nell began.
“It’s a terrible thing to be married to the wrong man,” Margie said. “It’s like being trapped at a bad party that never ends. The voices are always too loud and the jokes are dumb and you end up standing against a wall, hoping nobody notices you because it’s so much easier that way. It’s like you’re trying to avoid somebody who’s the only other person at the party. I hated it.”
She took out her thermos and poured more soy milk in her coffee, while Nell and Suze sat stunned.
“Leave him,” Margie said to Suze. “Don’t try to make it work when it’s that bad. It’s just too awful, you end up doing terrible things because you can’t stand the pain anymore.”
“Margie.” Nell stretched out her hand. “We didn’t know it was that bad.”
“I know.” Margie drank her coffee, straight down to the bottom of the cup, and then put the cup back in its saucer. “I hit him once.”
“Good,” Suze said.
“No,” Margie said. “But it turned out okay. He left. Are you okay?”
“I don’t know,” Suze said. “I have to think about it. I can’t imagine not being married to Jack, but I don’t think I can stand the tension anymore, either. He really thinks I cheat, and I don’t. I really don’t.”
“We know,” Nell said.
“But I really want to,” Suze said.
“We know,” Margie said.
“Sometimes I wish Jack would disappear like Stewart did,” Suze said. “Just evaporate.”
“No, you don’t,” Margie said. “Because what if he came back?”
Nell drew in her breath. “Do you think Stewart’s coming back?”
“Budge wants me to file the insurance claim,” Margie said. “He says I can buy a lot of Fiestaware with two million dollars. He says I shouldn’t just leave it lying there.”
“If you don’t want to file, don’t,” Suze said sharply. “It’s none of Budge’s business.”
“He’s just looking out for me,” Margie said. “But what if I file and Stewart comes back? I’d have to give it back. And you know I wouldn’t have all of it.”
“Has he come back?” Nell said, hating herself for the question.
“I don’t think so,” Margie said. “But it would be just like him. He was such a prick.”
“Margie!” Suze said and then laughed, shocked out of her self-pity.
“Well, he was,” Margie said.
“So you think he’s alive,” Nell said, feeling like a rat for pushing it.
“No,” Margie said. “I think he’s dead. But sometimes I’m afraid he’s alive.”
Nell sat there nodding, waiting for her to say something else, but it was Suze who spoke.
“So,” she said to Nell. “Was there zing?”
“Merciful heavens, yes,” Nell said, and let them tease her for the rest of brunch while she wondered how things had gotten so turned around that she was the happy one and they were the ones in trouble.
* * *
Two blocks away, Riley poured a cup of coffee from Nell’s coffeemaker and said, “So. You and Nell.”
“Figured that out, did you?” Gabe drank his coffee and squinted at the framed blowup of his dad and Trevor, touched again that Nell had thought of this way to decorate the office.
“I have great powers of deduction.” Riley sat on the edge of Nell’s desk and sipped his coffee cautiously. “Suze came by last night looking for her.”
Gabe nodded, moving on to the family group portrait, a little chagrined at how young Chloe was in the picture, even younger-looking in the blowup than she had been in the original, like a very pretty egg, smooth and round. Somebody should have slapped me, he thought. She was Lu’s age and holding a baby, for Christ’s sake. But there hadn’t been anybody there to protect her; her parents were dead, and so was his mother by then, and all his father had said was, “Good choice, she’ll never give you any trouble.” And she never had.
“I took her home and we ran into Jack,” Riley said, and Gabe looked around.
“What?”
“Suze. Jack was there when I took her home.”
“How bad was it?”
Riley shook his head. “Bad. But she didn’t want me to stay. She said he didn’t hit.”
“No,” Gabe said. “He’s just arrogant and selfish.”
“And cheating on her,” Riley said.
“Did you tell her?”
“No.”
Gabe nodded and turned back to the picture. “I can’t believe how young Chloe is in this picture. What the hell was I thinking?”
“The same thing you were thinking last night,” Riley said, coming to stand beside him. “Hell, look how young I am. And you sent me out on the streets to work.”
“I didn’t, Dad did,” Gabe said. “And you wanted to go.”
“I know,” Riley said. “Damn, she was young. What were you thinking?”
“Not the same thing I was thinking last night.” Gabe tried to imagine what his father would say about Nell. Probably
“Run the other way, boy.” With Chloe, he’d had no idea of what he was getting into, what marriage meant, but last night with Nell, he’d known exactly how much trouble he was heading for. And he hadn’t cared.
He didn’t care this morning, either.
He moved to the next picture, one of his mother and father on their wedding day, his mother dark-haired and vivid in a wasp-waisted suit, the buttons straining over her stomach, his father dark-haired and vibrant in his pinstripes, happier than Gabe had ever seen him. They leaned into each other but not on each other, both of them tense with energy, smiling at the future, already knowing they had a baby on the way, not knowing they had twenty years of fights and slammed doors and shouted good-byes ahead of them. Gabe looked at his dad and thought, He would have done it anyway. He loved her that much.
“Gabe,” Riley said.
And it’s going to be like that with Nell, he thought, looking at the light in his mother’s dark eyes. And I’m going to do it anyway, too.
“Gabe,” Riley said. “Come here and look at this.”
Gabe glanced his way and saw him standing in front of the family portrait. “What?”
“Look at Chloe.”
Gabe squinted at the picture. “What am I looking at?”
“Her earrings,” Riley said, and Gabe looked and said, “You are kidding me.”
Chloe was wearing diamond circles.
Gabe headed for the door. Five minutes later, they were standing in Chloe’s bedroom, her jewelry box dumped out on her dressing table, staring at a pile of silver ankhs and gold stars and enameled moons and—tangled in the middle of the miscellaneous chains and loops—two perfect gold circles the size of nickels, closely studded with diamonds.
“Are those it?” Riley said.
“Those are Helena’s,” Gabe said, picking them out of the mess. “And now I get to start the new year with Trevor.”
“You already started it with Nell,” Riley said.
“So I did,” Gabe said, feeling a little better even as he stared at the evidence of his father’s perfidy. “So I did.”
* * *
Nell waited until after nine that night to call Gabe, knowing that he and Riley were spending the day with Lu because Jase had complained about it when he’d called to wish her a happy new year. She let the phone ring half a dozen times and was about to hang up when Gabe said, “Hello?”