With Paul she didn’t think at all – she just felt. Yum. But there was no way she’d let him touch her ass, or would she? She’d already done things with him that she could barely wrap her brain around. Things that had never been in her realm of possibilities.
I feel so different with him. Braver.
That was it. Ironically, when it came to sex, she was herself with Paul, even though she was pretending to be Candy. Emily couldn’t quite understand it. Her entire life, she knew they should be together. Like she belonged to him; mind, body and soul. Was that love? She had adored Paul since she was a child. Now he was an addictive, and passionate obsession.
If Paul wanted it, I’d do just about anything, she thought with an inward sigh. And I’d enjoy it, too. As long as he did.
Emily loved to read. She read many different genres, including thrillers, murder mysteries, science fiction, fantasies but she really loved romance. The hero of every one of her favorite romances had always been an alpha male, in-charge kind of guy. Protective, caring, dominant men turned her on.
Paul was definitely that guy. In fact, he was the epitome of that guy.
How come she’d never realized that before?
The whole night had been perfect. Emily often felt shy, and awkward when it came to men and sex. She was a little out of her element, but never with Paul. Except years ago, when she told him she wanted to go out with him, of course.
Mentally, she flinched, recalling how fast and furiously he had shut her down. He’d said he thought of her as a little sister. Disturbed, she quickly pushed that memory away.
Paul thinks I’m sexy now.
That thought pushed her back into a high, a kind of heady feminine power. Sure, the power belonged to her other persona, Candy, but it was still her. Paul wanted her. Oh yes, he really, really wanted her. Badly.
She giggled, remembering that he came four times last night. Sweet Jesus! Getting him hot and excited, seeing and feeling him climax… well. The pleasure that created was incomparable.
Paul would be hurt and furious to find out that Candy was Emily, but he’d never know. She was due to fly back later tonight. Another whole day in bed with Paul and then it was done. Would that be enough for her to get over him? To have her fill so that she could move on?
It would have to be.
Paul would always see her as a child, but at least she’d this time with him. One thing she knew for certain was that she’d never regret coming to Cabo.
Emily grinned. This was better than any fantasy or dream I’ve ever had.
She left the bathroom and hurried back to the bed where Paul lay with a welcoming smile on his face as he watched her approach. His arms were up, hands behind his head, showing off his muscular biceps. Tufts of underarm hair, as well as a smattering of hair on that manly chest of his, only made him more desirable.
As she moved toward him, he rolled to his side, resting on one elbow. Good Lord, he was handsome, and right now he was all hers.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
“Nope.”
Paul’s grin widened as he patted the mattress next to him. “Good. Come lay down here on your back, right beside me.” She arched an eyebrow and did as he asked, pulling the sheet up over her breasts.
Her hands were shaking. This surprised her, but didn’t seem to surprise him.
For a long moment, Paul surveyed her with those intense eyes of his. In the morning sunlight, they were luminous green. So pretty. Emily smiled. To her, Paul was the most beautiful man in the world. They grinned at each other, lovers with secrets, remembering recent sensual pleasures.
His gaze never left hers as he slowly pulled the sheet back, sliding it off her, until she was completely exposed.
She stared into his unblinking eyes, seeing intense and erotic thoughts moving behind them. Goose bumps rose on her skin, but not from cool air. Emily nervously moistened her lips. Paul’s gaze instantly moved to her mouth.
Oh yeah, he noticed. Jesus.
“That’s better,” he said in a deceptively mild voice. “Now, put your arms over your head.”
Emily’s heart did a somersault. She complied instantly, as her belly tightened and her face flushed in anticipation. Already the room seemed much hotter.
Emily had played this game with Paul last night; she knew exactly how it was played. Truthfully, wired as she was, she felt rather sleep deprived. Way too tired for sex. But that tone of voice he used turned a simple request into a command that she couldn’t deny. How did he do that? Make her wet and desperate, with just a few words?
“Stay right there, and don’t move,” he said. “I want to lie here and look at you. I want to touch you.”
Emily opened her mouth, but felt unable to form a reply. Where had her mind gone? Speechless, she simply nodded her agreement.
Paul’s velvety seductive words echoed in her mind: I want. I want. Emily felt powerless to his desire. He began to caress her with delicious strokes along her face, eyes, neck, collar bone and shoulders. Emily’s body quivered as she fell away into a dreamy trance of pleasure.
Paul gave her nipple a hard twist, stopping her from drifting away. It brought her attention instantly back. To him.
Emily’s eyes flew to his. That authoritative look of his softened when he smiled. “That’s better. This pleasure is for me, not for you. Be still. Just let me touch you.” His throaty demand was so delicious, that she shut her eyes for just a moment, to savor it.
It was such an odd thing to say: This pleasure is for me, not for you.
He was touching her so sensually, how could she not respond? While Emily didn’t understand his words, or why he’d say them, the meaning was clear. Paul wanted it this way. She felt the deep truth of his desire in a primitive manner. It was imprinted on her body, as he took control.
I want to please him more than anything. His pleasure is my pleasure.
This was something she understood on an instinctive, animal level, but couldn’t explain in words. Emily belonged to Paul. It felt right. It felt amazing.
She never wanted it to end.
Chapter 13. Wicked
Following Paul’s instructions, Emily kept her attention focused on him, rather than what he was doing. If this wasn’t a prelude to sex, then what the hell was it?
The man was in no hurry. At first he caressed her with mild interest, fondling and studying her, like she was a newly acquired prize. He had such long, calloused fingers and magical hands!
But then his mind wandered; Emily could see it in his manner. She could feel it, too in his movements. When he got to her breasts, he began rolling her nipples between thumb and forefinger in an offhand, careless manner. He was distant, inattentive and self-absorbed. His mind was somewhere else, but where?
The way he stroked her was as if he was absently petting a dog or cat while doing something else, perhaps reading a book or watching TV. The casual manner of it somehow turned her on even more. She wondered what he was thinking, especially as his thoughts didn’t appear to be on his actions.
Fidgety and on edge, Emily found it difficult hold still, as he’d ordered. Her pulse spiked, her breathing became uneven. Unconsciously, she shifted her legs, squeezing her thighs together with restless need.
Short and quick, Paul slapped her breast. Stunned, shocked, and outraged, Emily cried out her surprise with a loud, “Ow!”
“I said, be still,” he ordered sternly.
Jesus. It hurt at first, but that sharp pain quickly turned to something else. Heat. Like dropping a stone in a still pool of water, arousal rippled through her in concentric circles, starting from that unexpected slap. The heated pleasure of it emptied her thoughts of anything except Paul.
His eyes met hers. “I need to talk to you.”
Emily frowned. Huh? What? Really? Could have fooled me.
“Are you paying attention?”
She gave him a mildly hysterical giggle, because he was the one whose mind had been somewhere else. “Um, yes. You
have all my attention, I guarantee it.”
Paul grinned and the tension in his body lessened. “Good.” His fingers ran up her throat as he bent forward and lightly, so lightly, brushed his lips against hers. His mouth was soft and warm. He tasted of oranges. His touch, and that sweet soft kiss, started molten fire within her core, spreading outward.
“I want to see you again,” he said.
There was a long moment of silence at this pronouncement. “You do?” she finally asked, the pitch of her voice high with astonishment.
Paul raised his eyebrows. “Does that surprise you?”
Emily frowned, trying to process this unexpected disclosure. It was quite a shift. The possibility of impending sex, to the idea of pretending to be Candy again sometime in the future. Of being alone and intimate with Paul more than once. Could she do it again? And get away with it?
All of this planning, and all of the deception involved – it went against who Emily really was. She never intended to keep up this charade. She preferred to be honest. But oh my God. She’d lived practically every day of her life wanting to be with Paul. Yet achieving that goal as Candy? That was just more lies.
“Well, yes. Quite frankly, it does surprise me,” she finally replied. “You strike me as a ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em’ type of guy.”
“Maybe. But I really want to see you again.” The heated look on his face was fierce with determination. “I want to spend time with you. Lots of quality time with you.”
Emily had seen that “Look” look before. Domineering and dangerous, and yet oh so sexy! That piercing stare of his instantly had her pinned to the bed. Paul’s commanding gaze made all rational thought flee, and turned her brain into silly putty.
That “Look” was a stern reminder that Paul was the kind of guy who called the shots.
Emily had no defense against the “Look.”
“When is your flight?”
“Eight o’clock tonight.”
They had already chatted about this last night. Emily told him that she had to fly back home to Eugene, Oregon tonight, and start work tomorrow. She chose Eugene as Candy’s home since it explained why she was flying to Portland. A long argument ensued about the possibility of her canceling her flight and staying longer, or of Paul going back with her.
“I’m serious, Candy,” Paul said, lips firm, jaw tight. “I’ve never been so serious in my life. I will see you again. Soon.”
Thrilled and anxious, with her nerves wired, Candy bubbled with laughter. There it was, that uncompromising tone in his voice that couldn’t be denied. That ‘Voice’ working together with that ‘Look’ was an unfair advantage, in every way. She was totally disarmed. Defenseless. Surely, no red-blooded woman could resist that devastating combination.
Paul had used that commanding tone of voice on her all night long. It was a weird thing, the way she responded to it. When Paul gave her a direct order her belly tightened, her breath stopped, and all of her muscles clenched, particularly between her legs! Emily felt his commands from the top of her head right down to the spontaneous curl in her toes.
Her reflex was to comply, without even thinking about it. Like a well-trained animal.
That’s it! I’m like an animal with him; all instinct and sensation, need and raw desire.
Paul glowered at her with an angry frown. Emily suspected that he thought she was laughing at him. She took both hands from above her, and placed them on his face. He tensed but didn’t move. He was still giving her that “Look,” and it was playing hell with her body. She was quivering with the need to give him what he wanted.
Anything he wanted.
She also couldn’t stop smiling.
“I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you.” Why was she smiling? Being Candy once more was a huge problem. How could she do it? But in the back of her mind she thought: If I did it once, I can do it again…
Mainly, she was thrillingly, insanely, wildly, overwhelmingly happy because he wanted her. Well, she mused, with an insane little giggle in the back of her mind, he wanted Candy, anyway.
Emily took a steadying breath. “Yes, Paul,” she said. “I want to see you again, too. Very much so, in fact. But, um, I have to think about this.”
Clearly not used to being rebuffed, Paul’s eyes flared into an angry blaze.
She made her voice low and soothing, the sound of reason. “I’ll fly home tonight. I have to go back to work or I’ll lose my job. We can discuss a time and place to get together again via email.”
“Jai and I will come with you.”
“No. Absolutely not. That won’t work for me,” Emily said firmly, using her own no-nonsense voice.
Emily was stunned by the look in Paul’s eyes. An interested part in the back of her brain processed it objectively. She’d heard the expression, “If looks could kill,” but had never been on the receiving end of it… until now.
Chapter 14. Fate
An icy chill fell over Emily. How was she going to get herself out of this? Would Paul follow her home? Would he find out who she really was? God, there was no way she could tell him! He’d hate her forever, if he found out how she deceived him.
Paul would feel betrayed, tricked, and lied to – which he had been, of course.
If there was one thing she knew, Paul could hold a grudge. There was no question of that. He was a ‘never forgive’ and ‘never forget’ kind of guy. He hadn’t spoken to his father for three years after their one big fight. He hadn’t seen his mother, either. If he could cut his only family out of his life, then how much easier would it be for him to dump their friendship?
Emily couldn’t risk losing Paul. He meant too much to her. Everything, in fact.
What she had done was wrong on so many levels. Paul would be deeply hurt by her actions if he ever found out. She’d screwed things up by pulling this ‘Candy’ stunt. What had she been thinking, risking their friendship like that? Yet she couldn’t regret it, even now. One night with the love of her life.
It was better than her best fantasies.
It was unbelievable.
Anger spiked from Paul, stabbing toward her in brittle, sharp waves. Quiet and intense, he gave no obvious sign, but Emily knew him. She could feel his fury. Paul Jarman, a man who was never rejected by a woman, was just told “no.”
Paul rejected, by me of all women! What an honor! What a terrifying, yet exhilarating and strange place to be.
Unholy feminine joy filled her, a wicked pleasure caused by personal power. He wanted her, and she had refused him. Did that make him want her more?
Because that had certainly happened in her case.
Talk about poetic justice. For so long, Emily had wanted Paul, and he had refused her. Yet, this wasn’t about revenge. It was almost like coming full circle, and creating a natural balance in the universe. Well, in her universe, anyway.
The satisfaction that flooded her felt so wrong that it just had to be bad.
Still, she couldn’t help how she felt.
She had a vision of a little kid sticking out her tongue and singing, “Na, na, na, na, nah!” It almost made her giggle. However, after one look at Paul’s face, she was able to suppress it.
Emily could almost hear Paul’s thoughts as he worked to rein in his anger. Did he want to force her compliance? You bet! But could he? The primal male animal inside of him must have been tempered by the rational man. If he could have, he might have done it.
Too bad for him that there was no way that he could make her do what he wanted… outside of the bedroom, at least.
Paul pulled away from her, his hazel eyes stormy. Coming to a full sitting position, he leaned his back on the bed head. “Fine. Have it your way,” he said with barely disguised ill temper. “I understand. You don’t even know me.”
Emily sat up and leaned on the headboard beside him. She took his hand and kissed it. It was an apology. Wanting to cheer him up, she changed the subject. “I’m looking forward to getting letters from you,” she offered wi
th a hopeful smile.
His eyes softened, and there was an audible whoosh as he expelled a big breath of air from his lungs. His lips, thin and tight with tension, seemed to ease. “No, you’re right,” Paul said, giving her hand a little squeeze. “There’s no rush. We should probably both think about it. With that in mind, I have some things I need to tell you.”
Emily frowned.
Paul turned slightly toward her and looked her directly in the eyes. “Candy, listen to me. You know the difference between vanilla sex and kink?”
“Sure,” she replied with a laugh that seemed a little breathless. “Why? Do you have a bunch of kinky secrets you want to share?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.” There wasn’t much she could think of to reply to that. Talk about a conversation stopper.
“I thought that might get you thinking,” Paul said with a wry smile. “The next time we meet, I want to take you to a fetish club. We’ll discuss this more via email, and maybe by phone or Skype. You’ve never done kink before.” It was a statement, not a question.
“I thought what we did last night was kinky as hell.”
“You liked it?”
She gave him sarcastic snort. “Oh come on! You know I did. That was the best sex I’ve ever had… ever.” She slid him a cynical look. “But don’t let it go to your head.”
His eyes lit as he shot her a wicked smile. “I can give you so much more.”
“Is that so? Well, then, I’ll have to have a cardiologist check me over first, to see if I can survive it.” They both laughed at that.
Paul explained that what he really wanted to do was to tie her up, so that she was helpless and vulnerable. He wanted her under his full control, open to whatever he wanted to do to her, or to make her do. This wasn’t only about sex for him. This was also about his powerful need to dominate. It was a desire he wanted to fill with the right woman.
He explained that although it was too early to know for sure, he believed that Candy might very well be the perfect woman for him. Maybe they were perfect for each other. He wanted to find out.