As he walked Ella through his place, he started to think maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. He found himself cringing more than once. They walked out into his backyard with the spectacular views of the city lights. Ella remained uncharacteristically quiet as she took it all in. The unfenced pool area with the party-sized hot tub boasted a fully stocked restaurant-sized bar. The cozy fire pit sitting area was big enough for entertaining more than one guest at a time and he had—more than once. Felix walked her back to the house, and they headed to the great room.
“I bought this house after I won my second big title fight,” he said in attempt to explain the party-like atmosphere it encompassed. “I was a lot younger, and I guess you can see what my priorities were like back then when looking for a home.”
The bar in his great room was as equally impressive as the one outside. The ridiculous sound-and-light system in the room was one he had installed after partying at a Hollywood nightclub and asking the owner what kind it was. Within a week, he had the exact one, including a new stage in the middle of the room complete with not one but two stripper poles.
All right, he definitely didn’t think this one through. To his relief, Ella smirked when he glanced at her.
“I heard those are a pretty good workout,” she said.
“Oh they are,” he said, jumping up on the stage. “You know me. I’m all about staying in shape.” He lifted his leg to demonstrate. “It’s why I had them installed.”
“I’m sure that’s why.”
She laughed and he jumped off the small stage and kissed her. “I’m changing a lot of this,” he said, cupping her face. “In fact, I might even put this one on the market and start completely fresh.”
“Why?” she asked, pulling back looking utterly shocked.
“Because,” he said, looking around, “it never even dawned on me until just now how fucking flashy this all is.”
“Flashy?” she said, looking around now too. “I don’t think it is.” She shrugged. “It’s glamorous. That’s for sure. And the stripper poles?” She turned back and smirked at him. “Okay, that’s a little much. But it’s to be expected from a young, rich, single celebrity like yourself.”
“Exactly,” he said, kissing her nose. “Single. That’s not me anymore, so this isn’t gonna fly anymore either. Let’s get out of here.”
“What? Why? I haven’t even seen the whole place.”
She walked away from him and into the next room. Well, shit. He followed her, still trying to think of what else he’d forgotten about that might be embarrassing. She walked through what was supposed to be a dining room. Instead of buying a fancy dining table he knew he’d likely never use, Felix had placed a pool table there.
He sure as shit wasn’t showing her his bedroom with the huge hot tub, fireplaces, and floor-to-ceiling panoramic windows. The room opened up to a balcony that overlooked his backyard. The agent who sold the house to him had suggested the large balcony could be used for a cozy breakfast area to sit out and enjoy a cup a coffee in the morning while taking in the breathtaking views. Felix, of course, had other plans. He’d brought an oversized daybed out there instead. And, yes, it was for the purpose everyone knew it was for the moment they saw it.
What the fuck was he thinking bringing her here?
Ella walked around the pool table, taking in the art work on the walls and the photos in frames on the mantel over the fireplace. Several of the photos had fallen over, and she picked one up. She stared at it for a moment then looked back at Felix. “You baptized Gio’s son?”
Felix nodded, smiling and knowing she’d think it odd that Bianca and Gio would choose him out of all the guys to baptize their kid, but there was no way she’d know the reason. Then he froze because earlier, when he’d racked his brain to think of any photos that might be awkward for her to see, he hadn’t even thought of the other photos on that mantel. It wasn’t something that might be awkward; he just wasn’t sure he was ready to talk to her about it yet.
Fortunately, she was too fixated on the photos of Felix holding Little G in his tiny white tux to notice the others, some of which had fallen facedown. Out of sheer panic, Felix said the first thing he could think of to get her attention away from the mantel.
“There’s something I wanna show you.”
She turned instantly with a curious smile. “What?”
He held out his hand, gulping nervously. “C’mere.”
There were a ton of things he could show her in this house, but where to start and what room was least likely to have anything incriminating about his less than stellar past was the real question. Dammit. Why hadn’t he thought this out before bringing her here? Having her meet his mother so unexpectedly and finding out she’d made up her mind had thrown him for a loop. The overexcitement of it all clouded his thinking.
Then he remembered just as he took her hand in his. “You like reading, right?”
She nodded with a big smile. Good. This was perfect. His sister liked to read too, and she’d been so dreamy eyed about the library in this house he’d had one just like it built for her in at his mom’s place where she lived.
Felix squeezed her hand, smiling in relief. “You’re gonna like this.”
They took the stairs up to the second floor. Felix led her down the dimly lit hallway, turning on lights as they walked through it. He turned to her as they arrived at the oversized, dark mahogany, closed French doors. “Ready?”
She nodded. Her eyes were so big and bright with anticipation he couldn’t help leaning over and kissing her. Then he opened the doors and let her walk in first. He watched as she stepped in, her expression as wistful as he remembered his sister’s being the first day she saw this room too. Whoever lived in this house before really loved books. Wall-to-wall floor-to-ceiling bookshelves encompassed the room with a huge wood-burning fireplace in the center of the main wall. Felix was glad now that he’d asked the designer who did the whole house to keep this room cozy. Nothing in the room said “party time” like the rest of the house. There was a large antique table for studying or using a laptop on that matched the wood moldings and shelves in the room, but other than that, there were comfy oversized fluffy chaises and reading lamps throughout for lying back and getting lost in a good book.
She turned to him after standing in the middle of the room and spinning slowly around to take it all in, letting her jaw drop. “This is a book lover’s heaven,” she whispered. “Do you read a lot?”
“Not really,” he admitted. “When I do, it’s usually non-fiction, memoirs and such of boxing champs and sports legends or some true crime novels. And when I do it’s never here. It’s usually when I’m on the road.”
He watched as Ella walked along the side of the wall, reading some of the titles of the books on the shelves. Most were brought in by the designer herself. She’d told Felix it was a library and it should look like one, so he told her to have at it. He’d been out of town while the library was being set up, so when he got back it was as it looked now. That’s when his sister had seen it and had the exact same awestruck reaction as Ella.
A few of the books on one shelf were tipped over. She pulled one of them off the shelf, and Felix smiled proudly. “I’ve actually read that one.”
“Is this . . .?” She lifted the cover as her eyes went wide and she closed it quickly. “It’s a first edition Lord of the Flies,” she nearly gasped, “with the original dust cover. This must be worth a fortune.”
Felix frowned. “Well, I didn’t read that copy. But I have read the book.”
Ella placed the book back on the shelf as if it were a delicate piece of china. This was not why he’d brought her in here. To show off all the expensive books his eccentric interior designer had gone overboard with.
“I’m almost afraid to touch any of the rest.”
“What? No,” he said, the frustration mounting. This was going all wrong. “You can read whatever book you want in here. It’s what they’re here for. To be r
ead.”
“But they’re so expensive,” she said, looking back at him. “And I don’t think first editions of classic books are meant to be read. You might ruin them.”
Felix pulled her too him, unable to not have her in his arms anymore. He explained about his designer ordering all these books and how he’d told her not to spare any expense. Obviously she hadn’t. “Again, this was all done when I was younger. I didn’t mean to get a roomful of books that couldn’t be read. The library is not a part of my house I thought I’d ever be showing off or trying to impress anyone with until today. Now I feel like there’s no part of this place that doesn’t scream what a pretentious ass I’ve been all these years.”
She tilted her head, her sweet little brows coming together. “Why? Because you can afford to buy expensive things?”
Felix glanced away, unable to look at her anymore. The more he thought of it, the more uncomfortable this made him. No wonder she’d needed time to decide if she wanted to be involved with someone like him.
“Felix, you’ve worked hard for all your money. You earned it.”
“Earned the right to piss my money away on stupid shit like expensive ass books I’ll never read and stripper poles?”
“It doesn’t matter,” she insisted. “What you do with your money is your business. No one has a right to judge you. Look”—she paused because apparently she’d noticed that what she was saying wasn’t making him feel any better—“I’m gonna be honest with you, okay? But you have to promise me you won’t be upset with me.”
Now she had his full attention and he stared at her. “I won’t.”
Chapter 13
Ella
The way Felix’s eyes burned into hers now almost made Ella regret bringing this up. But she’d picked up on his unease from the moment they’d driven up his driveway. Opening up his home to her like this couldn’t have been easy, and she didn’t want him to regret sharing anything with her. Like what she’d seen in one of the other photos on the mantel. She could be wrong, but his pulling her away from that room as he had in such a hurry could’ve been his way of avoiding that subject.
Ella wanted him to know he could tell her everything. His past was just that. She wasn’t about to hold it against him. Good or bad, just as she’d shared with him she wanted him to be able to talk about his past. No matter how tragic or even pretentious he thought it was.
She wouldn’t push, but she did want him to know she wasn’t judging him by his past mistakes.
Not anymore.
“I prejudged you,” she said, and his furrowed brows made her nervous, so she hurried to get it all out. “Before I’d met you—gotten to know you like I do now—I’d come to my own conclusions about you based on the stories I’d heard and read. It was wrong of me and I apologize.”
“Don’t apologize. I’ve been an idiot—”
“Stop,” she said, bringing her fingers to his lips. He frowned but then kissed them. “You’ve been through a lot, Felix, things most guys your age or even older will never go through—never experience. Overwhelming is still overwhelming and a lot to take in, even when it’s good. And you’ve had tremendous good and bad.”
Ella had been doing her homework for weeks now about everything Felix. She looked him square in the eyes because she wanted him to understand that she knew about everything he’d been through, including something she’d recently come across but had found so little about. The story read almost as if it’d been a rumor that never took off or something Felix had managed to keep under wraps, because she was only able to find bits and pieces of it.
The photo she’d seen downstairs near the one she’d picked up earlier and his reaction to her being in that room so close to it had her thinking there just might be some truth to the heartbreaking story after all. Something that big she thought he would’ve told her by now. If there was any credibility to the few accounts she’d read, it was way too heavy a subject to tackle tonight. Still, there was something she wanted to make sure to share with him.
“One of the things I asked my mother before she died, because I was so in awe of her strength, was how she did it. How had she been so strong through it all? The loss of my sister and then being diagnosed with breast cancer. Dealing with it all and getting her family through it and at the same time wanting to make a difference in the community. Her answer to my question will forever stay with me.” Ella could still see her mother saying it to her now. “Being strong and having hope that things will get better is the only real choice you have in times of struggle. It’s either that or be defeated.”
For a moment, neither said anything. Felix stared through her. Though his eyes were still on her, she could tell he wasn’t really looking at her. He was letting her mom’s words simmer.
Then there was a bittersweet smile. “So that’s where all that tenacity of yours comes from.”
Ella nodded. “But it’s not easy, Felix. Not everyone can dig that deep and come up with strength. Everybody deals with struggle differently like you did. Like my father. It’s been years since my mother’s death and longer since my sister’s, but he’s never gotten over either. He’s dealing with it, just differently than most people.”
She left it at that, afraid he might ask more on exactly how her dad dealt with it. She touched his face softly as he pulled her closer to him by the waist. “What you’ve done isn’t terrible, Felix. You’re a gorgeous, famous athlete, who has women throwing themselves at him. You have money to travel the world and enjoy the extravagant things, and you have, as you should. You earned it. You trained hard to get here. Anyone who says they wouldn’t do the same is lying.”
“Maybe it took meeting you to realize I don’t need all those things to be happy,” Felix said kissing her softly. “I think this is the longest I’ve been in one place in years, and I can’t think of a single place I’d rather be than here or anywhere where I can be with you.” He kissed her even deeper as her insides began going crazy. “I could stay here forever,” he whispered against her lips as they backed up onto one of the oversized chaises.
He sat down bringing her with him, and she fell over him willingly—breathlessly, her body beginning to tingle everywhere as she rubbed up against his hard body below hers. They’d gotten a bit heated in the privacy of that stairwell, but the anticipation of being able to do more now had her trembling so much it was almost embarrassing.
He stopped suddenly and pulled back to look at her. “This is not why I brought you here tonight. I want you to know—”
She kissed him hard, sucking his tongue, and smiled against his mouth when she heard him moan. Feeling his length against her thigh made her gulp, and she remembered Carmen’s comment about him being hung like a . . . Just the thought made her even more breathless.
Rubbing against it with her thigh, she willed him to do more. She wanted his big hands all over her. She’d been day dreaming about this for weeks now. Never had she felt this damn aroused in her life. The times they’d made out up until now had been sweet and at times had become frenzied, but she’d thought what she’d felt was a bit extreme because of who he was. She attributed the acute urgency she’d begun to feel lately to the fact that she was making out with the very famous boxer, who up until recently she’d considered completely unattainable—a fantasy.
Felix lifted one leg onto the chaise, leaving the other on the floor, and her body automatically shifted in between his open legs. The huge bulge was at waist level now, and she could no longer resist the urge to run her hand over his jeans, her fingers tracing down his breathtaking length.
He groaned at her touch, arching his back, his arms coming around her tighter. “Ella,” he said anxiously. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
Was he nuts? She moaned against his lips. Was she giving out any signal that she didn’t want to do this? She’d jumped his bones the moment he fell back on that chair, and now she was groping him shamelessly.
She really should slow down. Felix w
as probably used to this reaction from girls. Where the hell was her modesty? Just when she was going to try and show a little self-restraint, Felix lowered his hand down under her skirt and between her legs. There’d be no hiding how hot she was now.
When she’d decided today she’d tell him she was ready to move forward with the relationship, why hadn’t she anticipated that this might happen? She would’ve never worn such a short, playful, easy-access skirt. If anything, it might’ve helped her fake a little more self-control.
“Oh!” She gasped against his lips as his finger slid under her panties and over what she knew was hot and slick now.
“I’ll stop,” he whispered back.
“No,” she said too damn quickly, but it couldn’t be helped.
Every inch of his body was so hard and perfectly chiseled. Having his perfect body under hers as she slid against him was enough to make her quiver uncontrollably. His finger rubbing her now wasn’t helping. With his other hand, he began to pull her blouse up then stopped. “Will you be cold?”
Again, was he kidding? Her body was on fire! She shook her head, unable to speak with his fingers stroking her the way they were now. She bit her bottom lip, trying her best to control her panting, but she was so far gone. Already she felt herself drowning in the thick haze of lust. He slipped her blouse and bra off so effortlessly that, for the tiniest moment, she hesitated to go on. But who was she kidding? The hesitation on her part was so miniscule he didn’t even notice, and in the next second, she was already sucking on his tongue again.
Ella knew with his looks and this body, celebrity or not, he’d likely be highly experienced in this area. They’d had that talk already. When she’d casually brought it up, Felix wanted her to know that, though he admitted to having a wild lifestyle, he always used protection and he had himself checked regularly. She already knew professional boxers were required to test regularly for HIV, but he assured her he tested often for everything else as well.