CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Fern glanced down at her shorty pajamas and blushed. "Do you really want to hear this speech? I timed it earlier. It's about fifty minutes."
"Ah, you're ignoring my question. I just want to be sure you're comfortable. And, yes, I really do want to hear every word of your fifty minute speech. Do you have a speaker phone?"
Fern assured him she did and positioned the phone on the coffee table. She sat on the sofa and began speaking. After a few awkward minutes, she almost forgot Pen was listening on the other end of the phone line. She stood and spoke with gestures as if she were really in front of an audience. When she came to the end of her talk, she heard the sound of applause coming over the phone.
"That was great," Pen said in a voice that convinced her of his sincerity. "I expected you to be good, but I didn't realize you were a born public speaker."
Pen's praise sent warmth and tingles of excitement through her whole body. "Thanks. I hope the new business owners who'll be in the audience tomorrow are as enthusiastic as you."
The next morning, the audience greeted her speech with loud applause. After the program ended, attendees surrounded her and bombarded her with questions. Finally, after a whispered request from the program moderator, she interrupted the constant stream of questions.
"I'm sorry I can't answer any more questions. The hotel needs to set up this room for another event."
"Would you answer more questions if I called you on the phone?" The question came from a man who had raised his hand repeatedly during the question and answer period.
"Unfortunately, I don't have the time to answer extensive questions on the phone," Fern answered. "Besides, I-"
She stopped herself before she blurted out that she was just an employee of Ultimate now and her employer probably wouldn't appreciate her spending their time answering questions for new business owners.
Suddenly she had an idea. She almost giggled as she pictured herself with a light bulb coming on over her head. She took a deep breath and forged ahead.
"Actually, I'm planning to start a consulting business. Why don't we make an appointment to discuss your business? Maybe I can help you."
They agreed on a meeting the following week. Fern almost giggled in excitement. Could this possibly lead to something?
"Ms. Tate. I might be interested in your consulting services. Can I meet with you also?" Fern didn't even remember seeing this woman in the audience, but she must have been there.
Three other people also asked for appointments. Fern shook her head in amazement as she left the hotel with five appointments scheduled with prospective clients for a business that didn't exist yet. Fortunately, with a little juggling, she'd managed to schedule all the appointments next Tuesday, so she'd have to take only one day away from her job with Ultimate Plant Service.
As she drove back to the office, she considered what she'd done. A career change would give her the opportunity to relate to Pen as a man instead of as her boss. She wouldn't have to experience all the changes her business was undergoing if she didn't work there anymore. She could present workshops similar to what she had done today, with the money going to her instead of to the Chamber, as well as offer individual consulting to small businesses. Could this be the answer to her dilemma?
Pen called moments after she returned to the office. She shared the success of her speech, but she didn't mention the consulting appointments. Not only had she made the appointments on company time, she didn't know if anything would develop or not. She'd rather he not know if her idea didn't work out.
After Pen's phone call, she made arrangements to take a day of personal leave the following Tuesday to keep her appointments. She planned to explore this opportunity on her own time.
Finding her own time proved more difficult than she anticipated. She spent an hour at the library that evening researching the consulting business. Pen called every night, and she couldn't come up with an excuse to be gone all evening.
She had lunch on Friday with a fellow Chamber of Commerce member who had a consulting practice specializing in financially troubled businesses. Since she planned to target her practice toward new businesses, they wouldn't be in competition. He shared his experiences and offered her advice.
She fought the urge to share her excitement with Pen. He'd enjoy hearing about her getting free advice from a consultant on how to start a consulting practice. No one else she knew would enjoy the irony of that the way Pen would.
They spoke twice on Friday-once during the day at the office and again in the evening at home. Pen shared his frustrations and impatience to return home.
"I have to wear a suit and tie every day. What I wouldn't give to be back in San Antonio in jeans and T-shirt."
Fern shared her mundane daily activities, but she carefully avoided mentioning her possible career change. If it didn't work out, Pen would never know she'd even considered it. If it did work out-well, she'd tell him then.
The weekend finally arrived. Fern took her mother shopping on Saturday, and then spent several hours at the library. She spent almost as much time talking to Pen Saturday night.
"Omigosh." Fern had the TV playing softly in the background. She jumped when she heard the ten o'clock news come one. "We've been talking for two and a half hours. Your phone bill is going to be atrocious. I'd better go."
"Don't worry about the phone bill. I'm lonesome, darn it. I need to talk to you." Pen hadn't meant to say that. "Never mind. We have talked a long time. I'll call you tomorrow after church."
Fern said goodbye, and Pen leaned back in bed. Although he hadn't meant to tell her that he was lonely, he missed her more than he'd ever thought possible. He couldn't even remember what they talked about for so long, but he sensed Fern was hiding something.
She'd start to say something, then stop and say something different. She'd taken too long to get home from work each evening. She didn't have to explain herself to him, but, darn it, he'd changed his career plans for her. Had he made a mistake?
No, he'd made the right decision. These few days in the corporate office had proved to him he belonged in the field. He wanted to be a regional manager in San Antonio, with or without Fern.
If the fates were kind, he would be with Fern. He was going to do his best to develop a relationship. She had become the most important thing in his life.
She couldn't know that. He'd been hiding his feelings for her. Hiding his feelings. Fern was hiding something from him. Could she be hiding the same kind of feelings? Feelings was too mild a word for what he felt.
Every time he heard that sexy voice or looked into those gorgeous eyes, he felt weak and powerful at the same time. The respect and admiration he felt for her strength and her intelligence was as strong as the desire that flooded his body at the thought of her. She was such fun to be with-he knew he laughed more when he was with Fern than he ever had before. He could think of only one word to describe his emotions-love.
Meanwhile, Fern was struggling with her own feelings. She slumped on the sofa, exhausted from the effort of keeping her consulting plans secret. She'd mutilated her bottom lip as she started to share her excitement with Pen, then caught herself in time. She had no desire to tell her mother or anyone else-the only person she longed to share her news with was Pen.
She had never responded to any other man the way she had to him. Her physical reaction was so powerful she realized she'd never felt real desire before. Even over the phone line, his voice did strange things to her insides. He was smart and, best of all, he shared her sense of humor. She wouldn't be bored in a lifetime spent with Pen. A lifetime-that's how long she wanted to be with him. No doubt about it-she was in love.
Sitting in church Sunday morning, Fern lost track of the sermon. She imagined herself walking down the aisle in a long white dress to meet Pen. She could see his tender look and feel his kiss after the minister said, "I now pronounce you husband and wife."
The sound of the choir singing the anthem interrupted h
er fantasy. She shook her head and forced herself to concentrate on the service.
Pen called after lunch. She told him, "The minister and several other people asked about you. I told them you'd be back but I didn't know when."
"I'm hoping I'll be back early next week. When I turned down the president's job, I asked the powers-that-be to send me back to San Antonio as soon as possible. They can replace me with somebody who's a candidate for the permanent job."
As eager as she was to see him, Fern hoped he wouldn't return until she had made a decision about becoming a consultant. "Don't they want you to stay until they hire somebody else?"
"They might want that, but they agreed to send me home." Fern heard the impatience in his voice.
After the phone call, Fern worked on a business plan for a consulting practice. Since she would meet with clients at their businesses, she could work from home. Her spare bedroom would make an ideal office. She would need a computer, fax machine, and copier, but she could afford to use some of the money she'd received from the sale of her business to purchase this equipment.
She became more excited as she realized her plan could work. She jumped up from the table and danced around the room singing off-key.
"Hello," she answered the phone, still out of breath from singing and dancing.
"Did I interrupt something? You sound out of breath," Pen said.
"I was-" She couldn't tell Pen what she was really doing. "I was exercising."
"Ready for a rest?" he asked.
"Sure." She settled on the sofa and bit her lip to keep from sharing her excitement.
When Pen asked her what she'd been doing all afternoon, she told him she'd been reading. After a brief struggle with her memory, she recalled a book she'd read a few weeks ago. That started a discussion of books that led into a conversation about movies that led into a dialogue about other forms of entertainment.
After they said "good night," Fern was awake far into the night. Would her alternate career plan work? If it did, would she have a chance for a future with Pen?
When Pen called the office Monday, he said he had to keep the call brief. He was on his way to a meeting, but he'd have all evening to talk. Fern felt her stomach knot in anxiety. How would she explain her absence on Tuesday? She had to warn him. She didn't want anyone else to have to tell him she wasn't at work, but she couldn't tell him the reason for her absence.
She looked at her appointment schedule for Tuesday and verified she had a long break in the middle of the day. Slowly she reached for the phone on her desk and dialed.
When her mother answered, Fern said, "Guess what? I have some free time tomorrow. I'll take you to that new store in the mall, and we'll have lunch."
"You never take me anywhere during the week. What's going on?"
"I just realized that I have both morning and afternoon appointments close to your apartment and the mall. Since I have a couple of hours free in the middle of the day, I thought we could take advantage of it. You said you'd like to see the new store."
Fern gnawed on her lower lip while her mother expounded on Fern's failures as a daughter. Finally, she agreed to lunch and a trip to the mall with Fern.
When Pen called that evening, Fern told him, "I'm taking the day off tomorrow. I have a lot of leave, and I need to do some things with my mother."
"Will it take the whole day?" Pen sounded petulant.
"Yes, it will take all day." She felt a pang of conscience-she didn't want to lie to Pen, but she couldn't tell him what she was doing.
Pen curled his hand into a fist and hit the bed. He didn't know what she was hiding, but he didn't like it one bit. He had to get back to San Antonio and find out what she was doing.
"Okay. I'm coming home Wednesday morning. I need you to pick me up at the airport at eleven-ten. Can you do that?"
He remembered the last time she'd picked him up at the airport. His first sight of her had knocked him for a loop, and he didn't think he'd ever recover. He could hardly wait to see her again.
"You mean you're asking. I recall not too long you didn't give me any choice. You just sent me an e-mail message telling me to be there." He could hear the smile in her voice. "I wasn't happy about it, either."
"No kidding. Are you any happier about it this time since I asked instead of ordered?" He kept his voice casual, but he held his breath for her answer.
"Of course. It's always nicer to be asked than told." The voice that haunted his dreams dropped even lower. "In fact, I'm happier about it because I'm looking forward to seeing you again."
He felt his heart expand with emotion. He might be reading too much into that simple sentence, but he hoped she was as eager to see him as he was to see her. He had to change the subject or he might say something that could jeopardize his job.
"Did I tell you about the corporate reaction to my jeans?"
"No." She felt a warm tingle throughout her body as she recalled her own reaction to Pen's jeans, or rather her reaction to Pen in his jeans.
"The driver who picked me up at the airport was horrified to see me arrive in jeans and without luggage. He offered to take me home to put on a suit. Since a trip to my apartment would take nearly two hours, I told him just to take me to the corporate office." He laughed.
Fern smiled to herself in response. "So, what happened?"
"When we got to the office, Mr. Walker's secretary strongly suggested I change into one of the suits hanging in the closet in his private bathroom. It was so tight I could hardly breathe and I couldn't even button the coat. I'm sure I looked like a stuffed sausage."
"Wouldn't it make more sense to stay in your jeans? At least they fit," Fern said. And how they fit!
"To you and me, maybe. Apparently not to the powers-that-be. One of the vice-presidents told me, 'How fortunate Walker left suitable clothing in his closet. If the CEO had seen you in those awful denims, he would have shipped you back to the wilds of Texas immediately.'"
Fern laughed as heartily as he hoped. No woman he'd ever dated would have found that much humor in the situation. Their shared sense of humor showed how perfectly matched they were.
Fern's laughter subsided when she realized she was fantasizing about sharing Pen's anecdotes for the rest of her life. She couldn't afford to think about him now. Tomorrow had to be a success.
"I have an early appointment tomorrow. Uh, I mean I need to get to my mother's early. Goodnight, Pen."
"I'll call you tomorrow night. Goodbye." Darn. What was she hiding?
Fern stood holding the receiver for several seconds after Pen had hung up. She blew a kiss and pretended there was still some kind of connection between them.
The next morning, she took a deep breath as she walked through the doors of the insurance agency to meet her first prospective client. She hoped she looked more confident and professional than she felt.
After the third appointment, she felt her confidence increasing. Although the three companies were different, they all faced similar problems and decisions. She was convinced she could use her experience with her own company to help them grow their businesses.
Grow their businesses. She was going from growing plants to growing businesses. Pen would love that.
One of the prospects agreed to contract with her right away. Although the other two didn't make a commitment, they asked her to contact them in a few weeks.
Even a trip to the mall and lunch with her mother didn't dim her enthusiasm.
"You sure seem to be in a good mood," her mother said. "Is your job going any better?"
"Yes, Mom, it's going fine." She wouldn't tell her mother anything about changing careers until it became a reality.
After she drove her mother home, she went to her afternoon appointments. They were as successful as the morning appointments had been. She would have to struggle to start a consulting practice, but she believed she could be successful.
She'd never become a huge national company, but she knew she would be happier wo
rking independently. The risks, the successes, and the failures would be hers and hers alone. She wouldn't have to deal with a corporate bureaucracy, and there wouldn't be any reason she couldn't have a relationship with Pen. That is, if he wanted a relationship.
He wouldn't call her every day and talk for hours if he didn't care for her, would he? He wouldn't share his fears and worries and career plans with just any branch manager, would he?
That evening on the phone, he told her how glad he was to be leaving the corporate office and coming home. She managed to steer the conversation away from her day by asking him every question she could imagine.
At the office the next morning, Maria asked her, "Are you okay? You seem awfully nervous today."
"I'm fine." She made a face. "I spent yesterday with my mother. She's not exactly the easiest person in the world."
Maria just nodded, but her expression was curious.
A feeling of d?j? vu came over Fern as she stood in the terminal waiting for Pen. Only two short weeks before, she hadn't even known him. She smiled to herself when she remembered her first impression of him. The real Pen was so different from the image she had created in her mind.
She felt his gaze before she saw him. His eyes seemed to burn into her skin. She couldn't quite describe the look in his eyes-longing, anxiety, love-or a combination of them all. She knew her own eyes reflected the same emotions. Their gazes locked for an eternity.
She started moving slowly toward him. Suddenly they were both running. He set the briefcase with his laptop computer on the floor.
Before she realized what she was doing, Fern ran into Pen's open arms. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. When he saw her smile, he said, "I've missed you so much. Does this welcome mean that you missed me as much?"
Fern couldn't seem to talk. She only nodded, her head resting on his chest.
"We have to talk." He slowly released her, but he kept one arm around her waist. He picked up his briefcase and started walking through the terminal. "Let's get my bags, then go somewhere quiet."
They didn't speak again except to point out luggage or give directions to the car.
As she drove out of the parking lot, Fern said, "I have a casserole in the oven. How about going to my place for lunch? I told Maria we wouldn't be back at the office until mid-afternoon."
She looked straight ahead at the road. She gripped the steering wheel as a drowning woman would grip a life raft. What if she'd misread his feelings? She might be on her way to making a fool out of herself. What did he want to talk about?
Pen looked at her from across the car. He had to touch her again. He slid across the seat and laid his hand on her thigh. Her breathing became irregular, just like his. "Your place sounds fine."
He wouldn't start a serious discussion in the car. Talking would have to wait a few minutes, but he had to be close to her. Gradually he felt her relax and her breathing return to normal.
She turned into a driveway of her small duplex. They got out of the car and walked silently hand in hand into the house. Pen felt surrounded by warmth. This felt like home. He didn't bother to look around. He led Fern to the sofa and gently pushed her into the cushions, then he sat beside her.
"I don't know how to say this, Fern, but we have a problem." His heart missed a beat at the look of surprise on her face. "Maybe I'm out of line here. You don't agree we have a problem?"
Even speaking with hesitation, Fern's voice had the power to reduce him to a quivering mass of sensation. "What kind of a problem?"
She sat on the edge of the sofa, not looking at him and avoiding his touch.
"That darn sexual harassment policy. I can't even ask you out on a date without risking my job. I'd never use my position to try to force a relationship between us, but as long as I'm your boss, I can't even find out if you're interested in a relationship."
He jerked into a standing position when she said, "You won't be my boss for long." Before he could overcome his shock enough to ask her to explain, she continued, "My letter of resignation is on your desk. Of course, I'm giving the standard two weeks' notice."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Fern stood beside him and took his hands. "If you'll sit down and shut up, I'll tell you all about it."
Pen threw back his head and laughed. "Ah, Fern, you're good for me. Nobody else would tell me to sit down and shut up." He caressed her palms with his thumbs. "And I wouldn't do it for anybody else either."
"I couldn't stand being with you all day as an employee." She told him about her experience at the Chamber of Commerce workshop and her research into the field of consulting.
"So that's what you've been hiding from me," Pen mused.
"You knew?"
"I knew you were hiding something. I imagined all sorts of things it could be, but nothing even remotely close. Go on-tell me all about it."
She explained she had made a commitment to begin work with her first client in three weeks. "That'll give me one week to organize my office after I leave Ultimate. And I'll only be working with one client for a while, so I'll have time to develop the business."
"It sounds like you have everything planned. You know when you're quitting your job, when you're setting up your office, and when you're starting with your first client. I only have one question." He took a deep breath and breathed a silent prayer before he asked, "When are you going to marry me?"
The voice he'd fallen in love with on the phone asked, "When are going to ask me?"
"I'm asking you now." He slid off the couch and onto one knee on the floor in front of her. "I'll even go down on one knee and do it right."
Fern's laughter tickled the nerve endings throughout his body. "Get up from there and take me in your arms. You know you've never even given me a real kiss. I'll marry you as soon as you prove you can really kiss me."
Pen's laughter mingled with hers, and he imagined the mingled sound of their laughter ringing through the years for the rest of their lives.
He stood and took her in his arms. "Oh, I can really kiss you all right. I've had plenty of practice. I've done it at least a million times in my dreams."
The kiss went on and on. Finally, Fern raised her head and said, "You've proved you can kiss me, but I think we need about fifty more years of practice."
Pen laughed and hugged her tight. "Fine with me. Let's get started," he said, and that's exactly what they did.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lillie Ammann always dreamed of writing "someday." A devastating stroke made her realize she didn't know how many "somedays" she had. As soon as she was physically able, she started writing. In 1996, she sold her interior landscape company to a large national corporation and started her new career as a freelance writer and editor. Lillie lives in San Antonio, Texas with Jack, her husband of more than four decades. Learn more at www.lillieammann.com.
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