Returning from Colorado, Matt dreamed about Alana. He’d just coaxed her out of her gardening clothes and laid her across his bed when the flight attendant nudged him to put on his seat belt. The image of Alana lying naked below him dogged him all the way back to the house.
He opened the front door, and the aroma of ginger and onions told him his mother was making her signature curry. His dad hated it, but it was her idea of a celebration meal.
“Home from the front,” she said as he hugged her. “Did we win?”
“We did. Three straight. I’m starting to like playing at altitude.”
“What’s altitude have to do with it, darling?”
He groaned. It’d be at least the tenth time he’d tried to explain why a mile-high stadium had an effect on the ball. “Where’s Sophie?”
“Glued to her computer. She must have a day-care project.”
“I’ll be right back.” He headed for the stairs, but turned at the door. “Thank you. For changing your plans.”
He took the stairs two at a time.
“Hey, Punkin. School work?”
Sophie flung her arms around his neck and gave him the hug that never failed to melt his heart.
“Nope. Much better. I think I found a mom. See? You just have to fill in all those spaces and—”
“Who taught you how to use the Internet?”
“Mom showed me. Don’t you remember? I was the best reader in my kindergarten class. I’m a parody.”
“Prodigy.” He reached around her and closed the browser.
“And the sitter we had last week showed me the best sites.” She turned a skeptical eye to him. “Besides everybody knows how to use the Internet.”
He was gone so much. There were so many things he didn’t know, so many milestones in her life that he’d missed. That was going to change.
“No more mom shopping, thank you very much.”
“But my friend got a new mom that way. Josephine’s dad found her a new mom online. She’s very nice. But not as pretty as the lady at the butterfly garden.”
“No more, Sophie. Promise?”
“But, Dad, don’t you know that not having enough relatives can break your heart? You could be at a thousand percent greater risk for, well, for something terrible. I heard it on the radio.”
“A thousand percent, huh?” He knew she meant relationships. Relatives were usually more trouble than they were worth.
“Yeah. Maybe more.”
“No worrying about me. That’s my job, remember?” He turned off her computer. “Have your bath and then come on down for dinner. Grandma made curry.”
“With all the little dishes of nuts and things?”
“Yeah, honey. See you in ten.”
His pulse hadn’t slowed by the time he returned to the kitchen.
“Trouble in paradise?” His mother missed very little.
“Sophie was looking at online dating sites.”
“She’s a bit young for that, don’t you think?”
“For me. She was looking for a mom.”
His mother stopped chopping cashews and put her hand on his arm. “You need to send that child to boarding school. Braxton Hall would be great for her. And it’s near us. I could visit. Boarding school will give her structure. Look what it did for me.”
“My point exactly.”
“Watch it. I’m your mother.”
“It said that on my birth certificate. Do you think they ever switch mothers at birth?”
“No curry for you, Matthew Sterling Darrington. And some of the will is still changeable, even if your grandfather’s trust took away what little leverage I had over you and your sister.”
“I made my own money.”
“You didn’t have to. For goodness’ sake, there’s no reason to get testy.” She returned to chopping the cashews with vigorous strokes. “Seriously, darling, maybe boarding school is better than what you’re able to do here. Even I have come to recognize that you can’t quit baseball, so don’t even think of it.”
“I wasn’t.” The familiar knot tightened in his belly, the knot that always clenched when he admitted to himself that he couldn’t give up the game.
“Dreams are dreams,” she said as she scooped the chopped nuts into a bowl. “You can’t live without them. They power life. You may not think I know, but I do. You’ll live with the guilt,” she added as if she’d read his mind. “I do. And besides, you and your sister didn’t turn out so badly.”
She’d chased her dreams. And he and his sister had endured endless rounds of boarding schools and nanny-land while his mother and his dad roamed the world. Hell, his nannies knew him better than his mom did. If he put his mother on one of those game shows and she had to answer questions about his favorite food or clothes or books, she’d lose.
Maybe he wasn’t any better than she was. He pressed his palms against the cold, solid stone of the granite counter and willed the knot in his gut to loosen.
“I’m not sending her away.”
“You could hire a nanny.”
“Tried that. Three times.”
“Keep trying.”
“I think I’ve found a good candidate. She’s sixty-two, a widow. Raised four kids.”
“No jail time?”
“Not funny.”
“Or you could have a woman in your life. And don’t think you fooled me. I saw what was happening between you and Liza. Just because that didn’t work out doesn’t mean you can’t find someone to share your life with.”
“I suck at relationships.” It surprised him to hear himself admit it.
“We all do, darling. That’s what makes them interesting.”