Paige patted his knee. “Well, I’m glad you did.” She realized she shouldn’t have touched him when he immediately focused on her hand. She’d been attempting to be friendly—and nothing more—but even a friendly touch was too much between them. She pulled her fingers back to her own lap.
Needing to escape, she surged to her feet and hurried to the main event of the evening. When Kevin called her over to the imitation tree that was rapidly growing from the floor up, she joined him, grateful for the distraction.
While others strung vines of holly and festive streamers around the room, she and Kevin buried themselves in the tree project. Though she made sure not to look his way, she heard Samantha call to Logan for assistance with untangling a huge ball of lights.
Always aware of where Logan was, she cracked jokes with Kevin as they put their heads together and hooked faux tree limbs around the metal-pipe trunk.
Stepping back after they finished, Kevin scratched his head and made a face. “There’s just something about imitation trees that looks so…”
“Fake?” Paige supplied with a grin.
“Exactly.” When he caught her teasing smile, he smirked and bumped his arm against hers. “Smart aleck.”
Chuckling, she bent down and fiddled with the tree’s skirt. “Don’t worry. Once we get the ornaments and lights put on, it’ll look better.”
Finishing her task, she glanced up at Kevin because he hadn’t responded yet. He was absorbed in looking at her butt, making her self-conscious, hoping she hadn’t sat in something earlier and had a huge stain or nasty smear across her back pockets.
Quickly darting his gaze away, Kevin cleared his throat and tugged at his ear, pasting his attention back on the limp, tilted tree.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, straightening and wiping at her knees she’d been sitting on before discreetly brushing off her backside.
Face infused with hot, embarrassed color, Kevin mumbled, “Nothing. Uh…I think I know what this thing needs.” Holding up a finger, he instructed, “Wait right here.”
As he darted toward an opened cardboard box full of decorations, Paige frowned after him, confused by his odd behavior. Then she checked on Logan, telling herself she needed to know if he had a row of lights strung out yet for them to wind around the tree, though really, she just wanted to peek at him.
His attention was already on her, and his lips twitched, his expression gleaming with amusement. When their gazes met, his blue eyes flared. He jerked away to focus on his job where he already had two series of lights unraveled and strung across the floor.
“What’s so funny?” she asked, utterly confused.
First Kevin. Now Logan. What the heck? She had sat in something, hadn’t she? She swept a hand over the back of her jeans again, wishing someone would tell her if she’d made a mess of herself.
“Nothing,” he said, only to chuckle under his breath.
If she had one nearby, she might be tempted to throw an ornament at him. “What?” she hissed.
His grin spread, and he shook his head. “You don’t even know when you’re being hit on, do you?”
Totally not expecting him to say something like that, Paige blinked, dumbfounded. “Huh?” Had he just confessed he was hitting on her?
Her heart lurched erratically in her chest.
She opened her mouth but had no idea how to respond.
“I’ve got tinsel,” Kevin said, returning to her and sounding breathless as if he’d run the entire way. He looked so eager to please she gaped at him a moment before realization hit. “I swear tinsel can make anything look better,” he added as he playfully tossed a strand onto her hair.
Oh. Ohhhh…
Holy guacamole, Kevin had been hitting on her this entire time. And no, she hadn’t realized it. Geesh, it hadn’t even occurred her that he’d been appreciating the view when she’d bent over to straighten the tree skirt.
She flashed a quick, censorious look Logan’s way, but he suddenly seemed overly involved in his menial task.
“Here you go.” Kevin offered her a handful.
With a weak smile, she accepted the sparkly silver tinsel and sparingly began to spread it over the tree.
“How’re we doing getting the lights unwound?” Samantha asked, approaching Logan to assist him. When he pulled a pentagon from the tangle of green wires, she gasped. “Oh, you found the star. Great.” Taking it from him, she smiled fondly. “My husband and I always made a ritual out of putting the star on last.” Then she laughed as if amused with herself. “As I’m sure most people do.”
When her smile fell, Paige paused in her tinsel draping to watch the leader of their group look momentarily lost, no doubt mourning the love of her life.
She wanted to give Sam a hug, but the woman pulled herself back under control too quickly. She cleared her throat, forcing cheerfulness. “Does your family do that too, Logan?”
Logan began to shake his head but paused. “No, but uh…every year, my family would wait until Christmas Eve before we went to the Christmas tree farm and picked out our tree. I always thought of it as Christmas Tree Night instead of Christmas Eve. I remember anticipating Christmas Tree Night almost as much as Christmas morning. Both my parents would be home. My brothers and I would crowd into the back seat, always arguing over who had to sit in the middle.” A wistful smile crossed his face.
“What made your family stop them?” Sam asked softly.
He jerked his face up, looking guilty. “What? Oh, no. They haven’t…they haven’t stopped.”
Sam wrinkled her brow. She looked as confused by his statement as Paige felt. Paige watched his expression go shuttered as Samantha pressed, “But they’re not the same anymore?”
He offered her a tight smile. “No, you’re right. They’re still…it’s still the best night of the year.”
As the leader of the group lifted an untangled line of lights and carried it off, Paige continued to study Logan’s face. Something was very off about what he’d just said, but she couldn’t figure out what.
As if sensing her stare, he looked up. Not bothering to mask his emotion, he stared at her, and she could see from his face how much he hurt inside. He appeared so vulnerable, she actually stepped toward him.
But Kevin turned to her, asking if she needed more tinsel.
“What?” She blinked and looked at her tree-decorating partner. “Oh. No. No, I think I’m good over here. Should we put the lights on next?”
He agreed, and having heard them, Logan lifted an unraveled strand to help them wrap the tree.
They’d just finished when Jamie called Logan away, needing someone tall to climb a ladder and hang ornaments from the ceiling tiles.
Paige managed to deflect Kevin’s attempts at flirting for the rest of the meeting. After her dud date with Reggie, going out with another guy didn’t seem so exciting anymore. She’d decided she wanted to really feel it before she accepted another date from anyone. And though she liked Kevin enough, the zing of chemistry didn’t ricochet through her system like a hyper bouncy ball whenever she saw him. Not the way it did with—
Realizing who she was thinking about, her gaze zapped to the tall figure standing on a ladder stretching his arms over his head to hang a tiny angel.
Oh, this wasn’t good.
Releasing her hate was one thing. But actually liking him—as in, liking liking him—was something totally different. Something disastrous. Like spitting on Trace’s grave.
She needed to nip this in the bud right now.
Determined to avoid him, she strayed to the other side of the room from him for the rest of the decorating party. And she was successful, keeping her distance…until Samantha called it a night.
“Oh, I’ve gone through the sign-ups for the cancer center visits and paired everyone into groups of two or three. Make sure to check your dates before you leave tonight.”
Paige fell into line behind the handful of others who’d signed up. When she reached the schedule, she r
an her finger along the sheet until she found her name. Her first visitation would take place right after the New Year with Jamie and…Logan.
She dropped her hand from the sheet and jolted backward, unable to believe her eyes.
Great. How was she supposed to elude him if they were scheduled to attend a hospital together?
“I can ask Sam to change the group assignment,” a low voice murmured beside her so only she could hear him.
Paige jumped and swung around to gape up at Logan. His eyes looked remote as he studied her. She could tell from his expression he knew exactly what she was thinking.
Drawing in a deep breath, she shook her head. “No, don’t…don’t worry about it. It’ll be fine.”
His lips parted and his eyes narrowed as if he didn’t believe her.
Flushing, she realized she must appear as horrified as she felt about seeing their names side by side.
“Are you sure?” he pressed.
Gah, what was wrong with her? All they’d be doing was entertaining a bunch of sick children for an hour. It wasn’t the end of the world.
Stiffening her shoulders, she nodded. “Yes. I’m positive. It’s fine.”
He studied her a second longer before he gave a single nod. “Okay, then. I guess I’ll see you at the children’s ward in four weeks.”
“This doesn’t mean…” She rushed out, only to realize what she’d almost said. She wanted to tell him she still hadn’t forgiven him, but the words wouldn’t come, probably because they weren’t true.
His azure eyes filled with bleak acceptance. “Trust me; I know.” Turning away, he marched off, his stride stiff and angry.
Paige stared after him, feeling awful. That fine line where she no longer hated him but knew better than to actually like him seemed impossible to find. No matter how hard she tried, it always came out as stark black or white with him.
Chapter Nineteen
“HAVE YOU BEEN HOME YET?”
Paige’s fingers paused over the metal jewelry tree of rings she was examining on Kayla’s dressing table. Lifting her face, she met Kayla’s gaze in the mirror as her best friend came up behind her.
“Not yet.” Promptly dropping her gaze again, she picked out a silver ring with a turquoise stone embedded in a coiled design. “I came here to see you as soon I made it into town.”
“And I’m glad you did. I’ve missed you so much these past few months.” Kayla set her hands on Paige’s shoulders and gave an encouraging squeeze. “But seriously, do you want me to go with you? I know things between you and Paul aren’t…close. Maybe a third party will help things feel…” she shrugged “…not so awkward.”
Paige slipped off the turquoise ring and sighed deeply. “Thanks for the offer, but it’s fine. I can handle it.”
Besides, she hadn’t been home since Thanksgiving. She didn’t want to think of how messy the place was by now. And she didn’t want Kayla to see what had become of it…or of her father, though she suspected Kayla already knew how far Paul Zukowski had declined.
“I don’t mind,” Kayla said. She smiled brightly as she took off Paige’s ruby cross amulet to sling another bedazzled necklace around her throat. “I bought Paul a gift for Christmas anyway.”
Without saying a word, Paige shook her head, once again declining Kayla’s efforts. “I’ll gladly deliver Dad’s present for you, though.” She tried to soften her refusal.
Winding Paige’s hair into one large coil, Kayla curled the dark mane into a makeshift bun on top of her head. “Is it that bad between you two?” she asked quietly.
Paige sighed again, not even wanting to think about her and her dad. “No, it’s not so bad. I mean, we don’t talk at all when I’m gone and barely at all when I’m back. But other than that, things are…manageable. Civil.”
Kayla dropped Paige’s hair as if giving up on it. As the dark strands fluttered down over her shoulders, she met her best friend’s gaze in the mirror.
“Then why do you look so sad, sweetie? At Thanksgiving, I swear you seemed like the old you, the Pay Day you were before—” She shook her head, refusing to mention the before. “Is Granton not treating you right after all?”
“No.” Paige shook her head. “No, it’s nothing like that.” Feeling naked without Trace’s necklace against her skin, she slid off the one Kayla had tried on her and returned the cross where it belonged. “I still love it there. I’m making friends and fitting in, and—” she blushed “—flirting with guys.”
“Ooh, now you have my attention.” Kayla wiggled her eyebrows and nudged Paige to scoot over and give her room on the small stool so they could sit beside each other. “Tell me more about these guys.”
Paige groaned, wishing she’d kept quiet about that part. “There’s nothing to tell really. I already told you about Reggie. But…a couple others have shown their interest.”
“And?”
Paige shrugged. “And nothing. I haven’t felt a spark back toward any of them. Well, except for—” When she realized whose name had almost spilled from her mouth, her lips slapped together tight and her eyes flew open wide with horror as mortified heat covered her from head to toe.
Kayla pounced. “Except for who?”
Wagging her head back and forth savagely, Paige squeaked, “No one.”
“Oh, no you don’t, girlfriend. Spill it. Every detail.”
“I can’t…there’s nothing to spill. Honest. He’s no one.” Except the person she had once upon a time blamed for taking Trace away from them and destroying both their lives.
Kayla bumped Paige’s shoulder insistently. “So what’s no one’s name?” she sang out the question.
All feeling and warmth leached from Paige. No way could she tell Kayla his name.
“Okay, fine,” Kayla gave in, leaving that question alone. “Just tell me he’s super-hot and likes you as much as you like him.”
“I can’t…it doesn’t matter. Nothing can ever happen between us. It’s impossible.”
“Why? Is he married? A professor?” Kayla gasped. “Oh my God, he’s a married professor.”
Paige snorted, then laughed. “No. Neither. But he is forbidden. Really forbidden.”
Chewing on her bottom lip, Kayla looked momentarily stumped. “Yeah, those forbidden boys do tend to look more appealing, don’t they? There’s just something about being told to stay away that makes you want to climb all over ’em.”
Mouth dropping open, Paige turned to gawk at her best friend. “You sound a little too much like the voice of experience there.”
Kayla blushed and picked up a tube of lip-gloss. Averting her attention to the mirror as she screwed off the cap and applied it, she said, “What do you think Trace was? My dad had heard of his wild reputation and told me to stay away.”
Paige gasped. “Oh my God.”
How could Mr. Hashman think of Trace as wild? He’d only been outgoing with a mischievous side, and okay, sometimes he said the most outrageous, controversial things just to stir up a commotion. And maybe he’d driven too fast and had spent his fair share of time in school detention. But he’d been harmless.
“Why have I never heard this before?” Paige demanded.
“Probably because I totally ignored my dad’s warning and started dating him anyway.” Kayla shrugged. “Dad didn’t really object that loudly, and he ended up adoring Trace once they finally met.” She laughed and rolled her eyes. “I swear, Trace could charm anyone.”
“Wow.” Dazed, Paige glanced at her own reflection in the mirror. “My annoying brother was actually your forbidden taste of bad boy. Weird.”
Kayla giggled. “And he did taste mighty fine, thank you very much.”
Pretending to gag, Paige gasped, “TMI! TMI!”
Both girls shoved at each other, laughing uncontrollably, and ended up booting one another off the stool. After landing on the floor, they curled into balls and gripped their stomachs, giggling.
But after the moment passed, Paige grew serious and closed
her eyes. “So how do I know if it’s this guy’s forbidden status that has me fascinated or if it’s just plain him I like?”
“Well…” Sprawled on the floor, Kayla kicked out her legs and found a relaxed incline as she tucked a hand against her cheek and studied Paige. “How well do you know him?”
Paige blinked, not quite sure how to answer. She knew more about him than anyone else at Granton knew about him. She also knew how he volunteered his time for good, honorable acts. He worked hard. He faced his biggest fears on a daily basis. He put others before himself. He’d been willing to sacrifice things he loved so Paige could get whatever she wanted without having to deal with his presence. He cleaned and wrapped bloody fingers. She felt connected to him as she did no one else since they shared some of the same aches and loneliness in life. She could tell him things she couldn’t tell anyone else. He took life too seriously and hardly ever smiled. He had the saddest yet most beautiful blue eyes she’d ever seen, and a crooked half grin that made her tummy clench with the urge to touch him. And he handled her corny teasing with a dry wit she loved. And he was too freaking gorgeous for his own good.
“I guess…I guess I know him better than I thought I did, but we haven’t…we haven’t really tried to get to know each other.” They’d been a little too busy trying to avoid each other.
Groaning over the entire messed up situation, she rolled onto her spine and thumped the back of her head on the Kayla’s bedroom carpet, once, twice, and a third time for good measure. “Not that any of that matters. Nothing will ever happen. I don’t want it to happen. I don’t even want to consider it happening.”
“Which is exactly what you’re doing now.” Kayla grinned.
Paige rolled onto her side to lob Kayla an irritated scowl. She really hated it when Kayla was right. “Nothing’s going to happen,” she stated firmly.
“Well, then I guess we should just stop talking about him then, huh.” With an impish grin, she fluttered her lashes. “Though you will name your firstborn after me, right? And it goes without saying I’m going to be the maid of honor at your wedding.”
“Oh, shut up!” With a laugh, Paige grabbed a stuffed teddy bear lying at the foot of Kayla’s bed and chucked it at her.