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“You have no idea who I am, do you?”
“You look familiar, but no, I can’t place you. Should I?” Declan took a moment to study her reaction to his answer. She didn’t appear upset, just rather resigned. He’d have felt better if she had upended the water glass she had in front of her in his lap. Feminine outrage was easier to deal with.
Julie looked down at the hands she was twisting in her lap and appeared to be talking to them instead of him. “After the first two attempts, I never thought this day would come again. I had accepted that and put it down to fate. I never regretted it and, if anything, I owe you a huge debt of gratitude. Now that this moment is here, I don’t know where to begin. ” Then, raising pleading eyes to his, she asked, “Should I just blurt it out, or do you want the whole story?”
What he really wanted was to get up and run like hell. His internal warning system was beeping loudly in alarm. Even though he had no desire to hear a long drawn-out story, he thought that he might need time to compose himself. “Just start at the beginning, whatever that might be. ”
Julie took a deep breath and asked, “You did sort of recognize me this morning, right? You might not remember from where, but I look familiar?”
“Yeah, I’ll give you that. I’ve obviously met you before. ”
After briefly closing her eyes, she opened them again and he could see the resolve there. Gone was the uncertainly of a few moments ago. Somehow, he preferred nervous Julie to the determined version looking him squarely in the eyes now.
“Declan, we met over five years ago at a party. I don’t even remember who was hosting it. I was there with a few friends and I believe you were there with some of your buddies from the military. You were all in uniform and had just gotten into town. I . . . I was in a bad place that night. My mom had been battling cancer for a year and had just passed away. My friends had insisted I get out of the house because they were worried about me. I reluctantly agreed to go to a party with them where I drank way too much and, um . . . met you. ”
Declan scanned his memory vaguely remembering a few parties that he had attended over the years like the one she had described. Like Julie, he had drunk way too much at them and barely remembered the person or even persons that he ended up with for a few hours. “If you were that drunk, how do you even remember what I look like, much less my name? I wasn’t in the habit of giving out contact information back then. ”
“We had sex that night, Declan, and then both passed out. When I woke up the next morning, you were still out. I got dressed as quietly as I could, just wanting to get out of there before you woke up. When I was picking up my clothes, I saw your wallet lying on the floor beside them. I picked it up with the intention of putting it back in your pocket before it was lost. Out of curiosity, I opened it just so that I could say I at least knew the name of the man I had slept with. Your military ID was in there. Your name is rather unusual so it was hard to forget. ”
Swiping an impatient hand through his hair, Declan asked, “So this entire covert meeting is just a trip down memory lane? If you’re looking to appease your conscience over having a one-night stand, honey, you’ve come to the wrong place. I’ve got enough shit of my own to wade through. It happened, it’s fine, now move past it. I have. ” He rose to his feet and threw some bills down on the table intending to finally put an end to this awkward meeting.
Julie sprang to her feet and clutched his arm. “Wait! You have a son! Oh God, I’m sorry to blurt that out, but I owe it to Evan to try. ” Then he was aware that she kept talking, but he couldn’t hear past the roaring in his ears. He hadn’t felt this shell-shocked since he left active duty in Afghanistan. Julie finally took mercy on him and pulled him back down in his chair.
Even though he knew in his gut that she wasn’t lying, he couldn’t stop himself from snapping, “No fucking way, lady. I always use protection. ”
“Well, if you can remember all of the details of that night then you are doing better than I am. Before you even make your next comment let me say that, I . . . hadn’t been with a man since my mom got sick so you were it, Declan. Even if I were in doubt, which I’m not, there is no question that Evan is your son. He is the spitting image of you. I had no idea how much until I saw you again walking down the hall this morning. If was like looking at an older version of my son . . . your son. Um . . . are you alright?”
He knew from the concern in her voice, that he must look as green as he felt. He had a son? How in the hell had that happened? Men like him didn’t usually have kids and the ones who did would never be father of the year. Even though he felt the urge to puke, he was surprised at how well he was holding up considering the enormity of Julie’s confession. Without saying a word, he signaled for the waitress and ordered a double scotch, neat. He rarely drank during the day, but this was no ordinary lunch. Julie wisely waited until his drink was delivered and he had thrown it back before speaking.
“Do you um . . . need some time to process this? I know it’s a lot to drop on you. Just let me say that I don’t want anything from you, Declan. I have supported my son since he was born and I will continue to do so. I just didn’t want to miss this opportunity for Evan to know his father even if it’s in very small measures. ”
“If you knew my name and that I was in the military, why didn’t you try to contact me?”
Julie’s laugh held little humor. “Uncle Sam can be closemouthed. I tried to find out where you were stationed and an address, but I couldn’t get anywhere. I even had someone tell me that if the military gave contact information to every female who called in claiming to be pregnant, the bases would be overrun with female civilians trying to find men that usually didn’t want to be found. She followed up this helpful information by telling me that if you had wanted to speak to me again, you would have given me your address or number and that I should just give it up. After that, I decided that I needed to start making plans and stop trying to figure out how to find you. I just panicked when I found out and desperately needed some kind of support. Luckily, I have some pretty great friends who have been very helpful adopted aunts and uncles to Evan. ”
Declan shook his head in disbelief before finally deflating on a loud sigh. “Julie, what are you looking for here? I know you claim not to want financial support, but what if that’s all I can offer you? I’ve hardly lived a lifestyle that you would want your son around, hell, you should know that. I’ve never even really been around kids except for the one that Jason and Claire keep shoving in my hands when I’ve had to stop by their house to pick up some contracts a few times. Truthfully, when that happens, I spend the next few minutes trying to hand her back. ”
Julie threw back her head and laughed. “Chrissie is a baby, Declan, Evan is a bit different. He’s not likely to pee, poop or throw-up on you and he is getting too heavy for me to lift so you don’t have to worry about me shoving him into your arms. I’m not asking for any type of commitment from you. I just want you to see Evan once. Not as his father, but as a friend. I won’t tell him who you are unless you want that in the future. I’d never get him excited like that and then have you disappear. When and if he knows that you’re his father, it will be because you plan to take an active part in his life. ” Holding up her hand to stop him, she added, “When I say active part, I mean with Evan only. I’m not looking for anything personally from you. I am engaged to a wonderful man, Graham, whom Evan loves as well. ”
Declan surprised himself when he asked, “Do you have a picture with you?” Julie nodded and took her wallet from her purse. Her face softened as she looked at the photo before handing it to him. He felt a kick right to his gut as he studied the child in the picture. There was indeed a strong resemblance there and despite his best efforts, he felt a longing that he never would have thought he’d feel. Holding it up, he asked, “Can I keep this?”
Julie looked pleased by his question. “Of course. I would have brought more, but I had no idea . . . ”
“Thanks. So what exactly did you have in mind as far as me, uh, meeting him?”
Sitting back in her seat, Julie expelled a breath and said, “Wow, I wasn’t expecting you to take it this well. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that you are, it’s just a bit surreal after all of this time. As far as seeing Evan, maybe you could meet us at McDonald’s. He loves the playground there and he wouldn’t question your presence as much as he would if you were to come to our house. ”
“McDonald’s, huh? I’ve avoided the playground there like the plague my whole life,” Declan joked. Was he in shock? Why was he still sitting there instead of running for his life?
Julie laughed, “I don’t think it’s the dream place of any adult, but you get used to it. ”
Out of nowhere, Declan found himself asking, “Do you . . . would it be a problem if I brought someone with me?” For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why he had asked that question. Who was he going to ask? There was no way he could tell Ava or Brant. They would freak out and make things worse. That only left Ella and that seemed like too much to spring on someone you had just started seeing. Hey, before we go out tonight, can we swing by McDonald’s and meet the son that I never knew I had? If she was smart, she would take her chances and jump out of the moving car rather than continue on with him. But he knew he had to tell her if he expected this thing between them to continue for any length of time.
She looked surprised, “Sure. I guess I should have asked, are you married?”
Grimacing, he shook his head, “No, I’m not. I’m seeing someone though and I would like to bring her. ” Seeing the hesitation on Julie’s face, he raised a brow and added, “Relax, she’s nothing like me. She’s a nice person and likes kids. ”
“Oh . . . Okay. When would you like to meet? How about this weekend?”
“Why not tonight?” he countered. He hated to admit that he was afraid to have too much time to think. After he saw the child, he would be requesting a DNA test. She seemed sincere, but life had taught him that facts in black-and-white seldom lied, but people were another matter.
“I thought you would need more time. You’re actually taking this better than I would have expected. Are you sure you aren’t in shock?”
Declan smiled his first genuine smile of the strange meeting. “More than likely I am, but I’m not much for indecision. I need to see your son and I’d prefer it be sooner rather than later. ” He could tell that she wasn’t entirely comfortable with his thinly veiled demand.
“Alright, but this is how I want to do it. Evan and I will be at McDonald’s at six in the playground area. I think it would be best if you came a little after that. I’ll introduce you as friends, although he is very bright and will probably wonder why I’ve never mentioned you before. Also, if you could buy food and have it with you, I think that would look less suspicious than you dropping in without eating. I’ll also need your date’s name so that I can introduce him to you both. ”
Clearing his throat, he said, “It’s Ella Webber. ”
“Evan will spend a lot of his time running around and playing so don’t expect him to sit down to talk for a long period,” Julie added fondly, “Plus, conversations at McDonald’s are a little difficult sometimes depending on how many kids are there. ”
Declan said, “Yeah, I can only imagine. Will half past six give you enough time to get there and settle in?”
“That’s fine. Just remember, please, that we aren’t mentioning anything about who you are other than your name. ”
Standing, he said, “I’ve got it. ” He waited for Julie to stand and followed her out the door. “I’ll see you later. ” Without waiting for a reply, he turned back toward Danvers International and knew that the rest of his day would be a total waste. How were you supposed to go back to business as usual when something like that was dropped in your lap? On the other hand, sitting around his apartment brooding about it wouldn’t do any good either. He’d go back to the office and get lost in work for the afternoon. He also needed to tell Ella what was going on this evening. He hoped that after, she would be willing to go with him to see his son . . . fuck, that was unreal to even think. Yet this was how things went in life. You were coasting on a good wave and the next minute you were spitting out dirt.
First, he needed to make sure that Evan was actually his and he would begin that step tonight. No need to look ahead until everything was confirmed. Possibly it would be better to wait until that happened before he told Ella, but he needed her tonight. She was always the calm to his storm and never had he craved that more than right now.
Chapter Thirteen