XXIX
Sesphra of the Dreams
In the morning Dom Manuel arose early, and left Niafer still sleepingwith the baby. Manuel came down through the lower hall, where the tablewas as the revelers had left it. In the middle of the disordered roomstood a huge copper vessel half full of liquor, and beside it was adrinking-horn of gold. Manuel paused here, and drank of the sweetheather-wine as though he had need to hearten himself.
He went out into the bright windy morning, and as he crossed the fieldshe came up behind a red cow who was sitting upon her haunches, intentlyreading a largish book bound in green leather, but at sight of Manuelshe hastily put aside the volume, and began eating grass. Manuel wenton, without comment, toward the river bank, to meet the image which hehad made of clay, and to which through unholy arts he had given life.
The thing came up out of the glistening ripples of brown water, and thething embraced Manuel and kissed him. "I am pagan," the thing said, in asweet mournful voice, "and therefore I might not come to you until yourlove was given to the unchristened. For I was not ever christened, andso my true name is not known to anybody. But in the far lands where I amworshipped as a god I am called Sesphra of the Dreams."
"I did not give you any name," said Manuel; and then he said: "Sesphra,you that have the appearance of Alianora and of my youth! Sesphra, howbeautiful you are!"
"Is that why you are trembling, Manuel?"
"I tremble because the depths of my being have been shaken. Since youthwent out of me, in the high woods of Dun Vlechlan, I have lived throughdays made up of small frettings and little pleasures and only halfearnest desires, which moved about upon the surface of my being likeminnows in the shoals of a still lake. But now that I have seen andheard you, Sesphra of the Dreams, and your lips have touched my lips, apassion moves in me that possesses all of me, and I am frightened."
"It is the passion which informs those who make images. It is the masteryou denied, poor foolish Manuel, and the master who will take nodenial."
"Sesphra, what is your will with me?"
"It is my will that you and I go hence on a long journey, into the farlands where I am worshipped as a god. For I love you, my creator, whogave life to me, and you love me more than aught else, and it is notright that we be parted."
"I cannot go on any journey, just now, for I have my lands and castlesto regain, and my wife and my newborn child to protect."
Sesphra began to smile adorably: you saw that his teeth were strangelywhite and very strong. "What are these things to me or you, or to anyonethat makes images? We follow after our own thinking and our owndesires."
"I lived thus once upon a time," said Manuel, sighing, "but nowadaysthere is a bond upon me to provide for my wife, and for my child too,and I have not much leisure left for anything else."
Then Sesphra began to speak adorably, as he walked on the river bank,with one arm about Dom Manuel. Always Sesphra limped as he walked. Astiff and obdurate wind was ruffling the broad brown shining water, andas they walked, this wind buffeted them, and tore at their clothing.Manuel clung to his hat with one hand, and with the other held to lameSesphra of the Dreams. Sesphra talked of matters not to be recorded.
"That is a handsome ring you have there," says Sesphra, by and by.
"It is the ring my wife gave me when we were married," Manuel replied.
"Then you must give it to me, dear Manuel."
"No, no, I cannot part with it."
"But it is beautiful, and I want it," Sesphra said. So Manuel gave himthe ring.
Now Sesphra began again to talk of matters not to be recorded.
"Sesphra of the Dreams," says Manuel, presently, "you are bewitching me,for when I listen to you I see that Manuel's imperilled lands make sucha part of earth as one grain of sand contributes to the long narrowbeach we are treading. I see my fond wife Niafer as a plain-featured anddull woman, not in any way remarkable among the millions of such womenas are at this moment preparing breakfast or fretting over other smalltasks. I see my newborn child as a mewing lump of flesh. And I seeSesphra whom I made so strong and strange and beautiful, and it is as ifin a half daze I hear that obdurate wind commingled with the sweet voiceof Sesphra while you are talking of matters which it is not safe to talkabout."
"Yes, that is the way it is, Manuel, and the way it should be, and theway it always will be as long as life is spared to you, now. So let usgo into the house, and write droll letters to King Helmas and RaymondBerenger and Queen Stultitia, in reply to the fine offers they have beenmaking you."
They came back into the empty banquet-hall. This place was paved withmother of pearl and copper; six porphyry columns supported themusicians' gallery. To the other end were two alabaster urns upon greenpedestals that were covered with golden writing in the old Dirgham.
Here Manuel cleared away the embossed silver plates from one corner ofthe table. He took pen and ink, and Sesphra told him what to write.
Sesphra sat with arms folded, and as he dictated he looked up at theceiling. This ceiling was of mosaic work, showing four winged creaturesthat veiled their faces with crimson and orange-tawny wings; suspendedfrom this ceiling by bronze chains hung ostrich eggs, bronze lamps andglobes of crystal.
"But these are very insulting replies," observed Dom Manuel, when he hadfinished writing, "and they will make their recipients furious. Theseprinces, Sesphra, are my good friends, and they are powerful friends,upon whose favor I am dependent."
"Yes, but how beautiful these replies are worded! See now, dear Manuel,how divertingly you have described King Helmas' hideous nose in yourletter to King Helmas, and how trenchant is that paragraph about thescales of his mermaid wife--"
"I admit that passage is rather droll--"
"--And in your letter to the pious Queen Stultitia that which you sayabout the absurdities of religion, here, and the fun you make of herspectacles, are masterpieces of paradox and of very exquisite prose--"
"Those bits, to be sure, are quite neatly put--"
"--So I must see to it that these replies are sent, to make peopleadmire you everywhere."
"Yet, Sesphra, all these princes are my friends, and their goodwill isnecessary to me--"
"No, Manuel. For you and I will not bother about these stupid princesany more, nor will you need any friends except me; for we will go tothis and that remote strange place, and our manner of living will besuch and such, and we will do so and so, and we will travel everywhitherand see the ends of this world and judge them. And we will not ever beparted until you die."
"What will you do then, dear Sesphra?" Manuel asks him fondly.
"I shall survive you, as all gods outlive their creators. And I mustdepute the building of your monument to men of feeble minds which havebeen properly impaired by futile studies and senility. That is the wayin which all gods are doomed to deal with their creators: but that neednot trouble us as yet."
"No," Manuel said, "I cannot go with you. For in my heart is enkindlingsuch love of you as frightens me."
"It is through love men win to happiness, poor lonely Manuel."
Now when Manuel answered Sesphra there was in Manuel's face trouble andbewilderment. And Manuel said:
"Under your dear bewitchments, Sesphra, I confess that through love menwin to sick disgust and self-despising, and for that reason I will notlove any more. Now breathlessly the tall lads run to clutch at stars,above the brink of a drab quagmire, and presently time trips them--Oh,Sesphra, wicked Sesphra of the Dreams, you have laid upon me a magic sostrong that, horrified, I hear the truth come babbling from long-guardedlips which no longer obey me, because of your dear bewitchments.
"Look you, adorable and all-masterful Sesphra, I have followed nobleloves. I aspired to the Unattainable Princess, and thereafter to theunattainable Queen of a race that is more fine and potent than our race,and afterward I would have no less a love than an unattainable angel inparadise. Hah, I must be fit mate for that which is above me, was mycrying in the old days; and such were the indomi
table desires that oneby one have made my living wonderful with dear bewitchments.
"The devil of it was that these proud aims did not stay unattained!Instead, I was cursed by getting my will, and always my reward wasnothing marvelous and rare, but that quite ordinary figure of earth, ahuman woman. And always in some dripping dawn I have turned withabhorrence from myself and from the sated folly that had hankered forsuch prizes, which, when possessed, showed as not wonderful in anything,and which possession left likable enough, but stripped of dearbewitchments.
"No, Sesphra, no: men are so made that they must desire to mate withsome woman or another, and they are furthermore so made that to matewith a woman does not content their desire. And in this gaming there isno gain, because the end of loving, for everybody except those luckypersons whose love is not requited, must always be a sick disgust and aself-despising, which the wise will conduct in silence, and not talkabout as I am talking now under your dear bewitchments."
Then Sesphra smiled a little, saying, "And yet, poor Manuel, there is,they tell me, no more uxorious husband anywhere."
"I am used to her," Manuel replied, forlornly, "and I suppose that ifshe were taken away from me again I would again be attempting to fetchher back. And I do not like to hurt the poor foolish heart of her bygoing against her foolish notions. Besides, I am a little afraid of her,because she is always able to make me uncomfortable. And above all, ofcourse, the hero of a famous love-affair, such as ours has become, withthose damned poets everywhere making rhymes about my fidelity anddevotion, has to preserve appearances. So I get through each day,somehow, by never listening very attentively to the interminable thingsshe tells me about. But I often wonder, as I am sure all husbandswonder, why Heaven ever made a creature so tedious and so unreasonablydull of wit and so opinionated. And when I think that for the rest oftime this creature is to be my companion I usually go out and killsomebody. Then I come back, because she knows the way I like my toast."
"Instead, dear Manuel, you must go away from this woman who does notunderstand you--"
"Yes," Manuel said, with grave conviction, "that is exactly thetrouble."
"--And you must go with me who understand you all through. And we willtravel everywhither, so that we may see the ends of this world and judgethem."
"You tempt me, Sesphra, with an old undying desire, and you have laidstrong enchantments on me, but, no, I cannot go with you."
The hand of Sesphra closed upon the hand of Manuel caressingly.
Manuel said: "I will go with you. But what will become of the woman andthe child whom I leave behind me unfriended?"
"That is true. There will be nobody to look out for them, and they willperish miserably. That is not important, but perhaps upon the whole itwould be better for you to kill them before we depart from Sargyll."
"Very well, then," says Manuel, "I will do that, but you must come upinto the room with me, for I cannot bear to lose sight of you."
Now Sesphra smiled more unrestrainedly, and his teeth gleamed. "I shallnot ever leave you now until you die."