Last night they had discussed how Eli probably learned to enjoy reading so much because the Lorenzos didn’t have a television in their home. He hadn’t grown up glued to it the way Katie had in her younger years.
“My parents called the TV the one-eyed babysitter. Whenever I acted up or got too energetic,” Katie had told Eli, “they said I should visit the one-eyed babysitter.”
They concluded that Eli and his parents were habitually reaching for a book the way Katie grew up reaching for the TV’s remote control.
Eli closed his book as Katie and Cheryl entered the house. “What did the doctor have to say?”
“He’s going to try to find an antibiotic for me.”
“So it is infected?”
“Yes, unfortunately.”
“Are you feeling okay?”
“Yes, pretty much. I’m still so tired, though. I was thinking I might sleep a little bit before lunch.”
“Do you want me to bring you some lunch from the dining hall? That way you don’t have to leave your room if you’re getting good sleep.”
“No, that’s okay. I can set my alarm and make it to the dining hall for lunch.” Katie turned to Cheryl. “You raised a really caring son. You know that, don’t you?”
Cheryl smiled. “Is that right?”
“Yes, it is. As a matter of fact, last winter at school — it was February, actually. Valentine’s Day.” Katie grinned at Eli, feeling confident that he would remember the moment as clearly as she did. “I had a cold. A bad sore-throat kind of cold that you feel coming on, and then you just know it’s going to take you down for several days, so all you can do is give in to it. Your son came to my dorm room and brought me a bunch of cold remedies from the drugstore.”
Eli kept his gaze locked on Katie. He seemed pleased that she remembered but even more pleased that she was giving his mom a stellar report about his character.
“He brought me some stuff to spray in my throat that tasted like cherries and a box of something for my sinuses, and then he told me that the box said not to operate machinery.” Katie laughed at the memory. “I mean, really, it wasn’t as if I was in any condition at that moment to crank up a backhoe and plow a few furrows on upper campus.”
Cheryl laughed.
“Hey, I was just making sure you knew all the warnings.” Eli’s grin was pretty irresistible.
Katie remembered something else about that Valentine’s night. She remembered how Eli had prayed for her that she would get better quickly. He had taken her hand in his just moments before Rick burst into Katie’s dorm room with a bouquet of flowers that were supposed to help make her feel better. Eli’s expression of concern had helped her feel better and more cared for than Rick’s grand arrival with the dozen roses.
The memory of Eli’s steady, caring expression for her helped Katie to feel even more confident that she had done the right thing coming to Kenya and making herself so vulnerable.
“You can be assured that no one here will ask you to run a backhoe,” Cheryl said. “Someone might put you to work in the tea fields picking tea buds or using a hand-operated hoe, but that’s about it.”
“Tea fields? You have tea fields?”
“Yes. Didn’t you see them on the way in?”
“It was dark,” Eli reminded his mom.
“That’s right. It was late at night when you arrived. And with all the rain, it hasn’t been very appealing to explore the area. Yes, we have the most beautiful tea field just over the hill. Acres and acres. I’ll take you there once you’re feeling up to a short hike. It’s my favorite place to walk. So peaceful and beautiful. The light on the fields in the early morning is spectacular.”
“I wish I felt better. I would love to go right now.”
“It wouldn’t be very enjoyable since the trails are muddy. But the rains are subsiding. We’ll have plenty of good weather soon. You and I can go another day. Meanwhile, I need to pick up our clothes at the laundry. Eli, are you scheduled to work at the Coffee Bar today?”
“I’m there from one o’clock until nine. Dad said a group is arriving this afternoon from one of the well projects. I don’t remember which one.”
Katie headed for the door. “I’m going back to my room. I’ll be at the dining room for lunch. And if I decide to sleep through lunch, don’t worry. I’ll be there for dinner.”
“Wait.” Eli reached for his jacket that was slung over the back of a kitchen chair. “I’ll walk you down to your room.”
Katie didn’t protest. She let Eli hold the yellow umbrella as she linked her arm in his and leaned close while they walked together in the rain.
“I wish I didn’t feel so tired and have this stupid infection going on. I’d like to start doing something useful, like help you again at the Coffee Bar.”
“You probably should wait until you at least have some antibiotics in you to kick that infection.”
“Infection-schmection. I’m here to serve. If it’s not a good idea for me to be around food, I can at least carry boxes. When is your dad moving into the new office?”
“I’m not sure. A few days. Maybe a week.”
“Whenever it is, I’m sure I’ll be fine by then. Put me on the list for the moving team. I want to help.”
“I know you do. But, Katie, here’s the thing. It’s not all about doing. It’s about being. You need to just let yourself ‘be’ here first before you start doing stuff.”
She didn’t know if it was because she was tired or chilled from the rain, but Eli’s words ricocheted around in her head without landing anywhere. What he said didn’t make a lot of sense to her.
“What about you?” Katie asked. “How come you’re not just ‘being’? You’re jetlagged too, but you’re doing a lot. Your dad didn’t hesitate to put you right to work.”
Eli didn’t respond.
“Is that not a fair question?” Katie asked.
“No. It’s just something else.”
“What?”
Eli stalled.
“What is it?”
He still hesitated.
Katie stopped walking and gave Eli’s arm a tug. “Listen, you’re the one who has been convincing me to be honest and open about what I’ve been feeling and thinking ever since we got on the airplane together. This is not a one-sided relationship, Eli. I’m being transparent with you. Now it’s your turn. Tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s my dad,” Eli said.
He started down the pathway again and Katie fell into stride with him. “What about your dad?”
“He and I don’t see eye to eye on some things.”
“Is it me? Does your dad think I shouldn’t have come?”
“No, it’s not you. Not at all. It’s me. About what my role is here. I want to get out to the villages, and I really wished I’d been able to go with the team from Rancho that went to a village last week. I like being with the teams.”
Katie waited to hear why that was a problem.
“My dad assumed that when I came back I’d take over his role in the office so he could do more administrative work for the mission.”
“Can’t you do both?”
“Yes. And that’s how things are here, as I know you’ve noticed. Everyone does several things. But I don’t want to get stuck in the office. I don’t want to be tied down to Brockhurst. I want to be on the move. I told him I wanted to write my own job description and see what he thought of it.”
“And what are you going to put in your job description?”
“Team trainer, onsite team leader, facilitator in the villages, and scout to villages to determine best candidates for the next well project.”
“Sounds like you’ve already written it.”
“I have, in my head. But I didn’t add anything about office work. My dad said the reason they’re expanding the office was because he told them I was going to be onsite full-time.” Eli let out a huff. “I just don’t like him assuming things, you know? He never asked what I wanted to do.”
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Katie couldn’t explain it but she felt closer to Eli after hearing he was having conflicts with his dad. At first his family had seemed so perfect. Ideal in every way. But now that she knew that Cheryl and Jim had lost a baby boy and that Eli was feeling pressured to live up to his father’s expectations, she felt as if she fit in more, with all of her imperfections.
“It’s good that you and your dad are at least able to talk things out.” Katie had often wished she could experience that luxury with her parents.
“True. But here’s the thing. It’s been a long time since I’ve been under my parents’ roof, and in our conversations so far my dad keeps talking to me like I’m a teenager. Before I was at Rancho, I taught at a mission school in southern Kenya. Before that I was in Spain. I haven’t stayed with my parents for almost four years. I’m not sure it’s going to work for me to stay in the room they have set up for me. I mean, I love them. Both of them. I love being with them. But I think if my dad is going to see me as a grown man, I have to be in my own space.”
“Are you thinking of moving into the Monkey Motel with me?”
Eli pulled back and gave Katie a curious look.
“I don’t mean with me. Stop looking at me like that. You know what I mean. You can move into one of the other rooms in that building.”
“I’ll probably go to the building at the top of the grounds near the laundry facilities. They call it Upper Nine, and they don’t put guests there because the rooms are older. I wouldn’t be taking a good room that might be needed for conferences and guests.”
“That sounds reasonable.”
“To us, yes. I didn’t approach the topic with my dad yet. He was too adamant about the other thing with the office and my position here.”
They were at the door of her room, standing under the overhang as the rain tap-danced on the red tile roof. Around them the elephant-ear-sized leaves of the thick foliage bowed from the weight of the rain and dripped with an uneven rhythm. She felt as if the cool air around them was pressing against her, taking her breath and causing her to shiver.
“Thanks for listening, Katie.”
“Of course. Anytime. And thanks for the rile. I’ll see you in a little wide.”
“The rile? A little wide?” Eli questioned.
“A-little-while,” Katie overcorrected herself. “You know what I meant. I must be more tired than I thought. I was going to say thanks for the ride, but it was a walk, not a ride. And then I said … Oh, never mind. I just need to go to bed.” She pulled the key to her door out of her shoulder bag and opened the door to her chilly room.
“You sure you’re okay? Is there anything I can do for you?”
“No, I just need some sleep. That’s all. I’m fine. Really.”
“Okay.” He gave her a warm hug. “Get some sleep, and I’ll see you in a little wide. I’ll even take you for another rile if you want.”
Katie managed a half smile before she went inside and closed the door. The first thing she did was change into warmer clothes. She towel-dried her hair from the moisture that clung to her red, swishy mane and found a pair of socks, which she put on over the pair she already was wearing. Crawling under the covers, Katie pulled up both blankets and continued to shiver. She just couldn’t get warm.
I should have asked Eli to bring me another blanket. Although I don’t know if they have only a limited number, and I’ve already been allotted two blankets, while some people staying here might only have one.
As tired as she was, Katie wasn’t able to get any sort of a nap going. Her thoughts kept bouncing all over the place. Malaria, Andrew, antibiotics, cherry-flavored throat spray, Rick, roses, New Zealand glacier water …
Katie remembered the bottle of New Zealand glacier water Eli had brought to her on Valentine’s Day when she was sick. He said he remembered it was her favorite. She would love a sip of water right now. Her head felt hot. So hot. Katie kicked back the blankets and tried to cool off her poor, confused body.
This is awful. I feel like I have the flu. Please, Lord, no, not the flu. Don’t let me get sick. Please let there be antibiotics for this infection. Please heal me.
Katie heard a knock on the door and was certain Eli had ignored her insistence an hour ago when she told him she didn’t need anything. He must have come back to check in on her.
Katie called out, “It’s open.”
The door opened, but it wasn’t Eli who entered. It was a woman Katie didn’t know.
“Hi, Katie. Do you mind if I come in? I’m Dr. Powell’s wife. He wanted me to bring you this.” The short woman walked over to Katie’s bedside and handed her a small, white envelope.
“Is it the antibiotics?”
“No, it’s some amphetamine to help with the discomfort. He hasn’t been able to locate any antibiotics yet.”
Katie felt a sense of panic rise in her along with her fever. “Do I need to go to Nairobi to try to get some?” The thought of riding on that bumpy road the way she felt right now made her ache even more.
“I’m not sure. He’ll let you know. Just rest. That’s the best thing. Do you need anything else?”
“No. I mean, yes.”
“What can I get for you?”
Katie paused. She wanted to say, “I need you to get Eli so he can take care of me the way he did last Valentine’s Day.” But instead she said, “Nothing. No. Never mind. Thanks for checking on me. I just need to sleep.”
She left, and Katie rolled over on her side.
I feel like such a wimp. Dr. Powell and his wife must see an endless variety of terrible diseases. Here I am, acting delirious and fragile, as if I’m about to die.
She told herself all she had was a small, infected wound. And a fever. And a headache. Come to think of it, her throat was pretty sore too.
What’s wrong with me? Am I getting seriously ill?
Katie pressed her hand to her forehead and tried to gauge her fever. She was perspiring but her feet were still cold.
This can’t be good. What if … A paralyzing thought washed over her. What if I have malaria?
6
Katie checked her arms closely and tried to remember if any mosquitoes had bitten her over the last few days. She didn’t recall any. But that didn’t mean they hadn’t found her and bit her when she wasn’t looking. She could be infected with malaria, a very real, life-threatening disease at this moment and not know it.
This is ridiculous. I shouldn’t be thinking these things. Just because Eli’s infant brother died of malaria, that doesn’t mean I’m going to die — if I do have it, which I probably don’t. But what if I do?
Her heart pounded, and she wanted to cry, but even her tears seemed too afraid to make an appearance.
What’s wrong with me? Why do I keep getting hit by these waves of panic? I feel as if I’m going to lose my mind. I am so afraid.
The moment Katie thought the word afraid, it was as if she’d named the culprit of her bouts of panic. It was fear. Intense, chaotic fear like she’d never known before.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power and love and a sound mind.
The verse that exploded in her thoughts at that moment was one Eli had quoted twice on their long flight, in the middle of their heart-to-heart conversations. The truth calmed her now as it had calmed her then. She reminded herself that the fear she was feeling wasn’t from God. His Spirit gave her power, love, and a sound mind. No fear. She wanted those qualities to be present in her life right now. She needed them to overturn the doubt, fear, and instability.
Katie closed her eyes and prayed. As she did, she felt the sense of panic loosen completely and a longed-for sense of calm came over her. Her thoughts cleared. She stretched out her legs and breathed more steadily. A constant awareness of God’s presence and his powerful protection over her filled her thoughts. He was here, with her, in this small room in Kenya. At this moment, he seemed even closer to her than he had when she was in California. Perhaps she felt that way
because she realized how much she needed him.
Whatever the reason, her prayer that fear be abolished had an immediate and powerful effect: the panic was gone.
Another note to self: If you’re going to spend most of your young adult years asking God to bring more adventure into your life, don’t turn into a timid little coward when he answers your prayers in a big way. Trust him.
Reaching for the two pills in the envelope, she took them without water and told herself that all the unknowns could remain unknowns while she slept. She couldn’t do anything at the moment to hunt down the antibiotics. She couldn’t do anything if she had malaria. God knew. He cared. He could work out the details while she slept. Katie closed her eyes and felt as if she were being tucked in under an invisible blanket of peace.
When she woke, Katie noticed that the rain had stopped. She checked her watch and saw that it was 5:40 in the evening. A gleam of sunset light found its way through the open space between the two nearly closed edges of the window curtains and left an amber line across Katie’s gray blanket.
The wound on her shoulder still hurt, but the rest of her confusing symptoms seemed to have calmed down. She felt hungry and considered it a good sign she was ready for dinner. Getting up and washing her face, Katie hoped she would feel like her old energetic self pretty soon.
She pulled her hair back into a ponytail, brushed her teeth, and changed into a less crumpled top. Pulling on her warmest jacket, she opened her door and took in the view of the verdant landscape drenched in melting, buttery light. It seemed like a different world from the one she had been sloshing through the past few days. The remaining raindrops on the deep green foliage gleamed like liquid emeralds.