Josie stepped closer and removed my hat. Lifting her other sleeve to my face, she wiped the muck and blood from it, one swipe at a time. It felt so nice having someone . . . take care of me that I didn’t step back to save her shirt. “You do realize bull riding is something that only accelerates death separating us?”
My smile went higher. I listed a handful of reasons Josie and I could be separated one day, and the one she picked was death. It was the option I’d take too, but we had a lot of life and living before that day. With my record, going a month without screwing up royally would be considered a miracle—forget about a lifetime. “Bull riding isn’t going to kill me.”
“No? Because you’re about two and a half bruises away from death, from the looks of it, Black.”
Whenever she called me Black, I knew she was upset but trying to mask it with cynicism. She’d started calling me Black in eighth grade when she found me making out with one of her friends in the janitor’s closet. “Bull riding won’t kill me. If it could have, it already would have.” Lord knows it had beat me within an inch of my life lately, but that was an inch I wasn’t letting go of.
“How does that saying go when it comes to bull riding?” Josie tapped her chin. “It isn’t a matter of if you get hurt, it’s a matter of when you get hurt.”
“That’s the one. Did you miss the part where it mentions hurt, not dead?” I unbuckled and worked off my chaps.
“No, but given your ego, that saying applies to you differently.” She leaned into the chute fence and crossed her arms.
“Believe me, if I didn’t have an ego bordering on insanely unhealthy, you wouldn’t want me on top of a bull. A guy with self-confidence issues who still wets the bed won’t last a second.”
“How long were you on that bull just now?” She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling.
“I’m going through a dry spell; give me a break. I’ve spent so much time on the back of a bull I’ve probably logged as many hours as a pilot a few years from retirement.” I settled my hands on my hips. “And by bed-wetter-low-confidence boy not lasting a second out there, I meant his life—not an actual second on a bull.”
Josie was still chewing her cheek. Obviously she found what I was saying rather funny. “Okay, point taken. As much fun as this is, I didn’t come here to argue with you.”
“What did you come here for then?” I lowered my voice and stepped toward her.
Josie’s eyes rolled. “Not that. A roll in the mud and cow shit is hardly my idea of romance, but nice try.”
“Damn,” I muttered under my breath.
“I came here to tell you that you don’t need to keep this secret from me anymore. I’m not asking you to change for me. All I’m asking is that you be the best Garth Black you can be.”
“Oh, that’s all. No big deal.”
She continued, not letting my commentary stall her. “Bull riding is a part of you. I get that. It might scare the shit out of me, and when I actually watch you ride, I feel like I’m about to vomit, but I get it. I don’t have to like you doing it in order to support you riding on the back of a two thousand-pound beast that would prefer to stomp you to death than have you on its back”— it was my turn to chew on my cheek to keep from smiling—“I guess.”
“Now that right there, Joze, those words were the stuff of romance in my book.”
“You have a book of romance?” Her eyes twinkled. “It sure doesn’t show.” That time, she couldn’t keep from smiling.
“Oh, it doesn’t, does it?” I teased, pinching her sides until she was laughing. “I can be romantic. I can’t believe you’d say that I’m incapable of it.”
Josie was still laughing, but she managed to get out some words. “Your idea of romance is buying a girl a cheap beer before jumping into bed with her.”
That earned her another round of torture by side pinching. “I can be romantic. Admit it.” Neither of us were leaving that chute until she had. I stopped pinching her so she could catch her breath but left my hands on her waist.
“I’ll admit it when you prove you’re capable of it.”
“And you’re saying nothing I’ve done has proven that to you already?”
“Really? Come on. My experience with you has been having drunken sex with you while my boyfriend was out of town, and these past couple of weeks where the only time you’ve touched me is when your arms are around me at night. Those are on opposite ends of the spectrum.” I lifted my eyebrows. “And not on the romance spectrum.”
I dropped my hands from her waist and thought about that. I didn’t have to think long—Josie was right. Whatever relationship Josie and I had been mixed up in through the years, romance had never been a cornerstone. Hell, it had never even been a pebble on our path. “Well, shit.”
“Just in case you’re taking notes, well, shit doesn’t qualify as romance either.” Josie blew out a slow breath and leaned her head into the fence behind her.
Did she really have that little faith that I knew how to be or could learn to be romantic? On my list of priorities in a relationship, romance wasn’t high . . . but it obviously was on hers. Which made it important to me. I waited for her eyes to meet mine. When they did, mine dropped to her mouth. Wetting my lips, I approached her, one slow step at a time. Her mouth parted just a bit when I was a step away and, when my chest bumped into her, pressing her harder into the fence, it parted some more. I reminded myself to go slow, to be purposeful—all new concepts to me.
I didn’t stop pressing until our whole bodies were locked against one another. The breath coming in and out of her parted mouth picked up its pace. Lifting my arms, I braced them on either side of her head, and when I knew I would kiss her if I kept watching her mouth, my eyes shifted to hers. Her eyes were wide, her pupils dilated—signs that whatever I was doing, I was doing it right. I wasn’t used to looking in a woman’s eyes. When I’d been with a woman in the past, I kept my eyes closed to pretend I was with someone else.
But I didn’t have to pretend anymore, because the girl I’d seen when I closed my eyes was standing in front of me. “Josie?” I lowered my face until it was level with hers—until I could feel the warmth of her breath on my lips.
“Yes?” she said with a breathlessness that told me she felt as close to coming apart as I did.
“I want you to . . .” I lowered my voice and enjoyed the feel of her chest rising and falling against mine. “I need you to . . .” She sunk her teeth into her lower lip and trembled. I would have let myself smile if I didn’t have to stay focused. “Can I have . . .” I swore I could feel her heartbeat hammering so hard I was worried it might not be healthy for her. Instead of drawing it out any longer for fear of her going into cardiac arrest—or me doing the same—I glanced down at what she still had gripped in her hand. “My hat.” My voice returned to its normal volume and tone. Josie’s face went from wide-eyed and flat to glaring and lined in less than a second. “Can I have my hat?” I finally let myself have that grin I’d been holding back.
“Unbelievable,” she said with a shake of her head. She dropped my hat back on my head.
“Thank you.” I only grinned wider when she thumped the top of my hat, pushing it over my eyes.
“You better hope I don’t lock you out of my room tonight.”
“But then who would rock you to sleep and warm your feet and give you sweet dreams?” I adjusted my hat and winked at her. She wasn’t mad, but she was something. She was something that I was, too. Wound so tight for each other that I didn’t doubt either of us would mind if we wound up horizontal and rolling through the mud and cow shit. I took a few steps back.
“I hear a warm cup of milk works wonders.” Slugging me gently in the stomach, she headed out of the chute.
I watched her walk away until she was halfway across the arena, partly because I didn’t know what to say next, but mainly because Josie had one hell of an ass. When she walked with that annoyed anger, her hips swayed just so. Damn, it was one hell of
a sight.
“Hey, Joze!” I called out. She slowed, but she didn’t stop. “Taking it slow. I’d say I nailed that hurdle.” She gave me a So? look over her shoulder. “So what’s next?”
She gave a huff. “Not taking it too slow.”
I’d just driven Josie Gibson wild with want. I’d turned her on in about every way a guy could turn a girl on. If she hadn’t been watching me, I might have done a flip. I’d turned on my fair share of women, but Josie wasn’t just another woman I was hoping to get into bed later. I wanted to turn Josie on for a million other reasons, reasons I hadn’t known existed until I’d seen that look in her eyes and felt her breath catch in her mouth. “So it would be okay if I finally took you out on an official date now?”
“A date? Do you even know what one of those is?” Josie stopped when she reached the fence and turned to look at me.
I shrugged. “I’ve been doing a little research—asking around. I think I’ve got the basics, and I was hoping you’d help me fill in the rest.” It was true. I was a twenty-one-year-old man who didn’t know what a real date or true dating was. It was all new to me, like so much of what I’d experienced with Josie lately. I’d enjoyed every step of the journey.
When Josie had climbed to the top of the fence, she smiled at me. “I can help you fill in the rest.”
JOSIE AND I were on a date. Like a real one. It might have only been in the bed of my truck at the local drive-in theatre, and her parents might not have known about it, and we might not have even kissed yet . . . but it was the best fucking night of my life.
Josie had met me at the vacant gas station on the highway a few miles north of Willow Springs after I got off work. She showed up in that same dress she’d worn the first night I’d stayed with the Gibsons. She’d gone and curled her hair and everything. Josie looked great no matter what she wore or what time of day it was—even at five in the morning when she had bed head and sleepy eyes—but that night . . . Damn, my throat ran dry the instant she stepped out of that huge truck of hers. It hadn’t been the first time she’d taken my breath away, but it was the first time I got to put my arms around her right after. It was the first time she hadn’t taken my breath away only to slip into the arms of someone else.
It was pretty much the best night ever. And we’d only been ten seconds into it.
The Mountain-View Drive-in theatre was normally only open on weekends in the summer, but they always did a special showing the week of spring break when all the kids were out of school and looking to do something. Also known as looking to get into trouble. The drive-in and I had shared plenty of troublemaking times. Thankfully, the same staff from a couple summers ago wasn’t still there. Otherwise, I never would have gotten in.
The movie had been playing for a while, but I couldn’t say what was playing or who was in it. I hadn’t been able to take my eyes off of Josie. I’d replaced the old mattress in the bed—that had seen its fair share of wear and tear—with an inflatable mattress from the sporting goods store in town. Easier to clean and not so . . . used. I figured Josie would appreciate that, even if she never would have said anything about it. It wasn’t the first time we’d shared a bed, but it was the first time we’d shared a bed on a date. I knew better than to believe we’d be using my inflatable bed the way I was used to utilizing a bed, but I hoped we’d get somewhere. When all I’d done was hold her hand or have my arms around her, even a small kiss was a big deal. So yeah, I was hoping for a kiss. Not expecting one, but definitely hoping for one.
“The movie’s up there you know,” Josie said, glancing over at me. She knew I’d been staring at her. That was fine, I wanted her to know. I wanted her to know I couldn’t not stare at her.
“Why would I want to watch a movie when I’ve got you right here?” I grinned at her and scooted a little closer. Scooting closer and a grin couldn’t hurt a guy’s chance of getting a kiss. With my arm running down hers, I noticed something. “Shit, Josie, you’re shivering.” I’d already given her my jacket, and I’d brought every blanket I could snatch from the Gibsons’ house without arousing suspicion, so I sat up and started unbuttoning my shirt to give to her.
“No, don’t do that. I’m fine. I don’t want to undress you one layer at a time.” She zipped my coat up higher and burrowed into it.
“Believe me, I have no problem with that. None whatsoever. You feel free, anytime, every time, to undress me layer by layer until you are warm and satisfied.” I unbuttoned another one to prove my point.
Her hand reached out to stop mine. “Keep your shirt on, Romeo.”
“Why? When we both know you like me best with my shirt off.”
She wiped her hand over my grin, which did nothing but make it grow. “Wrong. I like you best with your ego off. Wanna try again?”
I was about to reply when another shiver ran through Josie. I suppose picking a drive-in movie for a date smack in the middle of March in Montana wasn’t wise. Better luck next time, Black. Pushing away my hopes for what could-have-been, I got ready to stand. “Come on, Joze. Let’s get you out of here before you freeze.” I’d be sure to pick somewhere that didn’t make my date chatter for our next one.
“No, I don’t want to go,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m enjoying myself.”
My forehead lined. “You’re shivering yourself.” I wasn’t cold, but I was probably too focused on Josie to notice the cold, and I’d likely built up an immunity after sleeping in my truck for a few months. I wanted to stay because I wanted to be with her, but not at the expense of her getting hypothermia.
“I’m not leaving, and that’s that. Can we get on with our date now?” She brought the blankets up under her chin and returned her attention to the movie.
I sat there, watching her again, and smiled. Josie wasn’t a laid-back, easy-going woman. She had some serious spunk and fight. Some guys might have been intimidated by that, but Josie’s spunk was what caught my attention years ago. The fight in her had kept my attention. She was the only thing that had my attention. I needed to do something right then so badly my muscles ached from holding myself back. Taking a deep breath, I bolstered up my courage. “I might not have any more blankets, but there are other ways to get you warm.”
Josie’s eyes flashed my way. “What other ways?”
I scooted down until I was propped up on an elbow beside her. My heart was already thundering, and I hadn’t even touched her. “Well, there are lots of other ways, I guess . . . but I had one particular way in mind.”
“What ‘particular’ way is that?” Her voice was a few notes high, and then she licked her lips. She knew.
I leaned in closer until my mouth was just barely above hers. “This way is what I . . .” The fight I’d been battling all night, all month, the past fifteen years, finally became too much. My mouth covered hers, and when it did, Josie let out a small gasp. Shoving my hat off, she weaved her hand through my hair, and pulled me closer.
Oh, dear god . . . Her mouth moving against mine was enough to send me straight through the roof, but then her mouth parted and her tongue pressed into mine, and I almost lost it. Lost whatever I’d been holding on to, whatever had been weighing on me and holding me back. I almost lost it all with one kiss from one girl. If that didn’t make a man stop and reexamine his life, I don’t know what did.
She continued to kiss me like she was finally letting go of everything she’d been holding back while I tried to keep up and hold on to everything so I didn’t let myself go . . . all the way. Because that was the place I wanted to go with Josie. I’d already unzipped the jacket of mine she had on, but I craved more. One hand was twitching, ready to go for the hem of her dress. The other hand wanted to close in on her chest. I drilled my twitching hand into the mattress above her shoulder, bracing myself, but when Josie’s body rocked under mine, sliding so she was directly beneath me, my hand trying to reach for her breasts didn’t need to try any longer because it was there.
“Shit, Joze,” I panted between her
unyielding kisses. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to behave.” I squeezed my eyes closed, separated my mouth from hers for a moment—just long enough to gain some traction of control—and forced my hand away from a very nice part of her body.
“It’s okay. You can touch me.” She looked up at me. “I want you to. Just because we’re kissing and touching and . . .” Josie’s hips rocked gently, and I was fairly certain if she did that again, I’d go cross-eyed. “Let’s touch. Let’s make out. Let’s do all of those things you’ve held back from us doing.” I lifted an eyebrow and held onto my last scrap of willpower. “Okay, so not everything everything, but just because we’re not ready to go there tonight doesn’t mean we can’t do more than kiss.” Grabbing my hand, she moved it until it covered her chest again. She lowered my other hand until it curved around the outside of her thigh. As if that wasn’t enough, Josie’s hands slid inside of my shirt, one crawling up my back, the other sliding up my stomach. “Kiss me.” Her lips pressed into the corner of my mouth gently. “Touch me.” Her hand curled into me, her fingernails digging into my skin in a way that made me gasp. Smiling at me, she added, “Preferably both at once.”
I had to give my head a swift shake and pull both of my hands away from the spots she’d adhered them before I could reply. “I’m glad you’ve got that much faith in your willpower, but I don’t have that much in mine.” Josie had taken my breath away again, but in a way I liked even more than the first way. “I’d love to keep touching and kissing. Screw the movie . . . But, Joze, I don’t know how to hit the brakes once I get going. I don’t know how to pull back when I’m supposed to or when you want me to. I don’t know how to stop.” I hated admitting that to her, but I knew the only way we would make us work was if I was honest with her.
“Well you haven’t exactly had a lot of practice, have you?” She smiled and pulled the hand on my stomach out of my shirt so she could cover my cheek.