‘Of course not.’ Dr White was ashamed.
‘I know what you mean, though, Martin. And it’s very hard to look at it. The way people look out for themselves. But it’s not a thriving place, this. I suppose you’d have to expect it.’
‘You’re too tolerant.’
‘I’m not. I can’t sleep at night thinking of Kate Ryan’s injuries, but that doesn’t mean I blame that poor man in there. He can’t even make a call without a circle of people round him waiting to hear what he’s at.’
‘And hasn’t he a phone above in the lodge?’
‘A lot of these are calls to the States, it’s easier on him to be here. I’ve shown him how to get through.’
‘Oh well, that’s all right. Business as usual then, or maybe he’s on to some smart lawyers over there, fellows that will come over here and say he isn’t even in the remotest way responsible for what happened.’
‘That is very unjust and very unlike you, Martin White.’ The doctor looked at her, startled. Perhaps he had gone too far. He waited to see if she would explain why it was so unfair. But Sheila Whelan said nothing. It wasn’t up to her to explain that Patrick O’Neill was on the phone to America trying to get a particular specialist to come over from America and examine Kate Ryan.
He had been on the telephone all day trying to get the right people. His phone bill would be staggering.
Patrick said he didn’t care how offended anyone was, he was flying the specialist from New York and he would be here on Monday. No, he didn’t care whose toes were being stepped on, in a case of life or death, in a case of paralysis he would presume that medical men and women would be large enough and sufficiently generous-spirited to realise that the patient came first. No aspersions were being cast, no offence should be taken.
He knew that the New York man would probably confirm everything that was being done here, so where was the harm, where was the insult?
The hospital, which had been horrified to hear of outsiders, succumbed as Patrick had known they would.
He couldn’t bear to think they might bungle it, move her when she shouldn’t be moved, or leave her in a country hospital when she should be at the remedial centre in Dublin. Only when he heard an independent and expert view from a man he had chosen and paid would Patrick believe that everything possible was being done.
The whole thing had an air of unreality to it. He thanked God that he hadn’t broached the matter of the entrance to them; if he had spoken of it then he would always have felt sure that Kate’s accident was in some way connected.
One night John found the twins asleep on the window seat.
Before he woke them he made three mugs of drinking chocolate and they drank them together as the summer moon shone down on the river and the building site.
‘You’re very good the way you manage, but you’ll have to get some proper sleep, not with crooked necks and cramps here on the window.’ His voice was gentle.
‘Everything’s different,’ Michael said.
‘I know, son.’
There was a long silence.
‘Do you think . . .’ Dara began.
‘I don’t know. I hope so, but I really don’t know.’
A little later he took their empty mugs and left them on the chest of drawers under the Sacred Heart lamp and saw the twins off to bed.
Dara had wanted to have Grace O’Neill to stay. She said it would be lovely to have someone to talk to at night.
John Ryan had hated saying no, but he felt it would be wrong in some way. He felt that until things were sorted out, O’Neill’s child shouldn’t really sleep under their roof.
12
Kate stirred in the hospital.
‘Mrs Ryan, you’re fine. Fine. Don’t move too much.’
‘Nurse, is my husband here?’
‘He’s been here all morning, he stepped out for a smoke. Will I get him?’
‘No, send him home.’
‘He doesn’t want to go home, he wants to be here with you.’
‘He has no business wanting that, he’s got a business to run. How will he keep it if he’s here?’
Kate was fretful and worried. Sometimes it was clear to her that she had cracked her spine and broken several vertebrae, sometimes nothing was clear. There were bits when she wanted to cry and cry it all out of her and then she knew she would feel fine, she could get off this ridiculous table she was on and tear out these tubes and go home. There were other bits when she thought she would never move again. It wasn’t clear to her what happened.
Sometimes she would ask. But she would drift off before the explanation.
John had peeped through the circle of glass in the door and seen that Kate was awake. He had stubbed out his cigarette and come in eagerly.
‘What time is it?’ she asked.
‘It’s midday, love, I just heard the angelus.’
‘Then what are you doing here?’
‘What?’
‘The pub opens in half an hour, John, who’s going to open it?’
‘Not today, love, they all know I’m here with you.’
‘They won’t know that till they get to the door and find the place closed. John, have sense. Please. Please don’t leave me to make all the decisions, even though I’m lying here with a broken back. For God’s sake do something on your own initiative. Just once.’
The nurse had called for assistance and the houseman came in. Kate was thrashing around and the injection was swift in coming.
John stood rooted to the spot.
Kate’s face was calm again as if in a normal peaceful sleep.
‘I don’t know what to do,’ he said to the young nurse pitifully.
‘I think you should go home, Mr Ryan, she’s had a very strong sedative now, she won’t be able to talk for a while.’
‘But what would I do at home?’
‘I don’t know, maybe you could open the pub as she said.’
John Ryan turned and went out with a heavy tread.
Sitting outside in a hired car was Paudie Doyle, the younger brother of Brian. He was eighteen and had a driving licence. Patrick O’Neill had hired him with the car and said that he was to drive the Ryan family backwards and forwards from the hospital to Mountfern – a hundred times a day if needs be. And to be there always at their beck and call.
He was a kind young fellow and he couldn’t bear to see the look of pain on John’s face.
‘In about twenty-five minutes the pubs will be open, or maybe you might know someone who’d open early for you. Would that be nice? A drop of brandy maybe?’
‘Thanks, Paudie. Drive me home to my own place like a good lad. I’ve got to open up, got a business to run, you know.’
‘Of course you do, I thought you’d have someone else doing that. They would you know, people are very willing to do anything to help. You know they are.’
‘I know,’ said John dully. ‘I just don’t seem to be able to think of anything they could do.’
Kate had been right of course, there were plenty of people anxious to know how she was and to give the Ryans their custom.
Grace wanted to know was it all right if she stayed to lunch.
‘Certainly.’ John was pleased that the twins would have company. He sent her on into the kitchen behind and concentrated on serving. Patrick sat on a stool and asked about everything, and when Fergus came in, he sat on the stool beside the American.
‘And what did the injection do, did she go out at once, or did it take time?’ Patrick asked.
‘Why don’t you ask him to put a bulletin up on the door as they do in Buckingham Palace?’ Fergus asked suddenly.
Patrick looked at him, startled.
‘There are fourteen people in this public house needing pints, half ones, glasses of whiskey, bottles of minerals opened for them. Would you not have the common sense to let the man get on with it instead of interrogating him about every twist and turn of his unfortunate wife.’
‘Fergus.’ John was
shocked.
‘I mean it, John, you get on with serving while you still have a pub to serve in.’ Fergus had a voice very near tears.
‘He’s right, of course.’ Patrick stood up. ‘I’ll call back to ask about Kate when you’re not busy, John.’ In four steps he was out through the door.
John Ryan was very upset.
‘Ah, Fergus, what did you have to go and do that for? Now I’ll have to go after him. He’s been so good to us, Fergus, you have no idea. He has cars for us everywhere, we’d never be able to get in and out to the hospital, and he’s paying for a specialist to come from America, someone who actually treated the Kennedys coming the whole way to look at Kate. What did you have to go and insult him for? He was only being interested and asking.’
‘I’m interested but I want you to keep your business,’ Fergus hissed, indicating a small group at the other end of the counter needing refills. ‘And I could drive you in to see Kate, I could give you my car, for God’s sake. He’s not the only one who wants to help.’
‘But that’s it. He does want to help. Don’t be on at him like you were up in the hospital. It only makes things harder.’ John was still looking at the door wondering if he should run after Patrick.
‘No, you’re right.’ And Fergus swung off the stool to stride out also – leaving John Ryan without two customers he realised as he walked sadly along River Road and saw the figure of Patrick O’Neill walking sadly amongst the machinery and small walls of his building site on the other side of the river.
Kerry O’Neill had bought a get-well card in Leonard’s. He had chosen it carefully. Not a funny one, and not a mournful one either, full of flowers and verses about Good Friendship and Health.
Tommy Leonard thought that Kerry was very considerate to put so much thought into it. A lot of people just bought the first thing or the cheapest thing they saw.
Kerry’s father didn’t share this view. He thought Kerry was cold and distant about the accident, he felt there was something a little calculating about finding a meaningless printed card and signing it ‘. . . from all your friends in Mountfern, and Kerry O’Neill’. But then very little that Kerry did or said pleased Patrick these days. The boy seemed to be entirely wrapped up in himself. There was no room for anyone else in his life.
The chicken was boiled a long time now. Carrie looked at it anxiously – it was beginning to break up in the pot. Usually the mistress came out and made a white sauce at this stage; she used to come like a whirlwind into the kitchen. Up to the Rayburn and pound pound pound in a small saucepan, flinging in the milk, the butter and the flour at random, it seemed. The instructions were given to Carrie like a series of short and rapid machine guns being fired. Kate Ryan used to speak firmly but kindly:
‘Potatoes drained and into the dish, now. Thanks, Carrie, and plates warming, there’s a good girl. Thanks, Carrie. Pass me the carving knife and fork. Right, call Michael, it’s his turn to serve today.’ It used to go like clockwork. But today nothing was right. Carrie didn’t have enough hands. The children were all sitting inside like lords and ladies waiting to be served, the master was in the pub where it seemed half the parish had come up to drink like pigs at a trough.
Carrie was flustered and confused. When she put the chicken down it started to go cold out of the pot so she put it back in again while she got out the potatoes, then the chicken seemed to have broken into fragments with all the shifting it about.
Since the mistress wasn’t here to criticise her, she thought she’d risk taking the potatoes to the table in the big black pot. She ran with it because it was so heavy. She hadn’t known that the young O’Neill child was sitting at the table inside. She began to run out again but the pot slipped. She banged it on the table and there was a noise, a sizzling noise. The pot had burned a huge weal into the table.
Carrie looked at it, her face as aghast as the five children’s faces that looked first at the burning table and then at her.
She couldn’t bear it any more. There was nobody to advise her. Carrie ran from the room in tears.
John heard a commotion and excused himself from the bar. In the breakfast room the children were trying to scrape the burn marks from the table. They looked up guiltily.
‘Well, God, that’s a nice way to behave,’ he said, looking from one to another to see who was the culprit.
‘Nobody here was responsible, Mr Ryan.’ The clear voice of the little American Grace was coupled with a dimpling smile.
She was like a little blonde angel interceding for frailer folk. But he knew without her having to tell tales that poor Carrie had done it again.
In the kitchen things were worse than he had expected. The chicken looked more like chicken soup than any kind of boiled fowl. The cabbage was overcooked and smelling badly in its saucepan. A pot of something else that might have been a milk pudding had burned dry. Wearily he took the burning saucepan from the Rayburn and looked glumly at the scene.
There was no sign of Carrie but he thought he saw a figure in the back yard near the old pump, sobbing into her apron.
Dara was beside him. ‘Try to pick the best bits out of the chicken, Dara, and give everybody two potatoes. Leave the table, we’ll see to it later.’
‘What about the cabbage?’
‘Give it to the hens when it cools down.’
‘And the rest of the chicken, all these stringy bits?’
‘It would hardly be tactful to give that to the hens, if you see what I mean.’
Dara giggled. ‘You’re very funny, Daddy,’ she said approvingly.
‘Wouldn’t I need to be?’ said John Ryan.
‘It’s all hopeless, Father,’ Grace said. ‘There’s this maid and she brought the pot of potatoes to the table and burned the table top and then she ran out and cried, and it’s all just hopeless.’
‘What do they need?’ Patrick asked.
Grace was thoughtful. ‘I think they just need proper help, you know, someone efficient like Miss Hayes.’
‘Yes, yes.’
‘Well, will you get them someone?’
‘I think not, Grace. I think we might do more harm than good. We wouldn’t know who to send in, we could pick the wrong person.’
‘Marian should know, she runs a hotel.’
‘I don’t want to get Marian involved.’
‘She fancies you,’ Grace said.
‘Don’t be silly.’
‘You know it too. Don’t you like her?’
‘She’s fine, but don’t give me this silly talk about fancying. That’s teenage stuff, not old men and old ladies.’
‘So we won’t get them a maid? The Ryans I mean.’
‘No, there are times when I think you have to stand back a bit.’
Grace said she wanted to help. Please, she didn’t mind things being untidy, or whatever they were trying to keep from her because she was a guest. Couldn’t she just join in like the family?
Michael and Dara found things for her to do. She took Leopold for his walk, she picked vegetables, she brought the washing in from the line.
She encouraged them to go out to play. They hadn’t been allowed to visit their mother in the intensive-care ward but Grace said she was sure Mrs Ryan wouldn’t want them sitting around the house being gloomy. She’d want to think of them swimming and doing normal things. Little by little they agreed, but there was always such confusion at home it was easier not to go out at all.
‘I never knew running a house was like this,’ Dara wailed.
‘I don’t know what anyone gets married for,’ Michael said with feeling.
‘But it needn’t be like this, I suppose.’ Grace meant if you had enough money to pay someone to do it properly.
Like Miss Hayes was being paid to keep things right in the lodge. There was always bread in the bread bin, cake in the cake tin. There were clean towels and sheets. Why were things so confused in the Ryans’ household?
‘We used to think that we’d live in Fernscourt once,’ Micha
el said unexpectedly. ‘Dara and I had a section of it all planned. And we’d have no proper mealtimes or bedtimes, or sheets or cleaning shoes . . . I think it would have worked.’
He sounded very wistful.
Grace patted his hand. ‘It’s terrible for you being the eldest,’ she said.
‘Yes, well, joint eldest,’ Michael said, struggling to be fair.
‘But it’s harder on boys, I remember . . .’ She stopped suddenly.
‘What?’ The twins spoke together.
‘Nothing.’
‘Go on, Grace, what do you remember?’ Dara was insistent.
‘I don’t want to remember it, I can’t remember it.’
‘Please, Grace.’ Michael had a better way with him, obviously.
‘Okay, the reason I didn’t want to finish it was because . . . well, I remember when my mother was ill, Kerry said it was harder being a boy because you wanted to cry just as much as a girl wanted to cry but the world didn’t let you cry, you had to pretend somehow that it didn’t matter so much to you. Kerry said that was the hardest bit because he couldn’t show Mother how much he loved her by crying with her.’
The twins were silent.
Grace looked apologetic. ‘So now, so you see why I didn’t want to finish it, I didn’t want to talk about my mother who did die in the same breath as talking about your mother who is not going to die. Do you see?’
Dara gave her a great hug and Michael squeezed her hand.
Grace lost her troubled look and smiled with them both. ‘Let’s finish these goddamned apples and then we’ll go for a swim.’
They peeled and cored the apples in the gloomy knowledge that somehow Carrie would make a brown unappetising mess from all their hard work.
Mrs Whelan was quiet and to the point, it would be doing everyone a great favour if John could see his way to providing a busy life and home for her cousin Mary Donnelly. There was no need to go into details but the girl had a bit of a crisis in her private life and the last thing she needed was to be left alone brooding. She was extremely capable, she would not want a large salary – just a change for the few weeks, months, whatever it was until Kate was home.