He gazed at her as he took Button away. “Get in the house.” The baby curled against his chest as if he were the world’s most comfortable pillow. Her eyelids drooped.
Lucy shot Nealy an imploring look. “He’s going to kill me.”
“We’ll all go inside.” Nealy walked ahead, not looking at him, her spine straight as a flagpole.
He watched the agents disperse, one toward the front of the house, one toward the rear. Nealy lived like this all the time, he realized, with people watching her, guarding her, hounding her. He’d understood it intellectually, but that was different from watching it happen.
They headed for the sunporch. Lucy was looking for a fingernail she hadn’t already bitten to the quick and trying to figure out how to tell him what he’d already figured out. His sister Ann Elizabeth had been fifteen when she’d taken off in the family car, but she hadn’t brought a baby with her.
Lucy slouched into the brown wicker armchair, doing her best to bristle with attitude but not pulling it off. Nealy, looking stiff and formal, positioned herself in the opposite chair as if she were getting ready to preside over an unpleasant staff meeting.
He sat on the couch and lay sleepy Button next to him, then shifted his legs so she couldn’t roll off. Nealy regarded him as if he’d just crawled out of a piece of spoiled meat.
“Can I assume this is off the record?”
He deserved it, so her snipe shouldn’t have made him so mad. “Don’t push me.”
“A simple yes or no will do it.”
She knew he’d never exploit the girls, but he took his medicine and said tightly, “Off the record.”
Lucy regarded their exchange with curiosity, but he wasn’t offering any more explanations right now.
“Lucy ran away with Button,” Nealy said slowly. “She took Mabel.”
He’d figured out that much. At the same time, he realized Nealy hadn’t hesitated to rush to the two federal agents for help, even though she’d known it would blow her cover forever.
He turned to Lucy, who was trying to make herself smaller by creeping farther down into the chair. “Why?”
She lifted her chin, ready to take him on. “I’m not giving Button to strangers!”
“So you risked her life instead.”
“I know how to drive,” she said sullenly.
“No, you don’t,” Nealy countered. “That motor home was all over the road.”
His chest grew even tighter. “This is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.”
She didn’t have the courage to take him on, so she turned on Nealy. “This is all your fault! If you hadn’t been Mrs. Case, you and Mat could have gotten married!”
“Stop it,” he snapped. “You’re not going to deflect the blame on this. Not only did you risk your own life, but you risked your sister’s as well.”
“What do you care? You’re giving her away!”
Something tight clutched at his chest. The baby rolled to her side and went for her thumb. He’d already noticed she wasn’t much of a thumb-sucker, so she must need some extra comfort. God, she was a great baby. World class. She was smart, bighearted, and gutsy—exactly the qualities that were going to help her get ahead in the world . . . if she could just catch a break.
“There’s something else you should know.” Nealy’s lips tightened. “When I got inside the motor home, I slapped Lucy. Not hard. But I definitely slapped her.”
“It’s no big deal, “ Lucy grumbled. “I don’t know why you had to tell him.”
Mat didn’t like the idea of anybody hitting the little delinquent, not even Nealy, but he understood.
“It is a big deal,” Nealy insisted. “Nobody deserves to be hit.” She turned to Mat. “I need to talk to Lucy alone.”
Her starchy manner got his back up. “Whatever you have to say to her, you say in front of me.”
“That’s pretty much like saying it in front of the whole world, isn’t it?”
“I don’t deserve that.”
“All that and more.”
“You’re the one who started the secret-keeping business.”
“Don’t fight,” Lucy said in a small voice.
Lucy had heard them argue before, but she seemed to know that something fundamental had changed between them. He realized he had to tell her the truth, too.
“Nealy wasn’t the only one holding back on you, Luce.”
Lucy stared at him, and then her forehead crumbled. “Shit. You’re married.”
“No, I’m not married! What is it with you two? And I thought you were going to watch your language.”
Button made a low mewing sound, unhappy to have her slumber interrupted by his gruff voice. He rubbed her back. She lifted one heavy eyelid, saw it was him, and, reassured, closed it again. His chest grew even tighter.
“I told Nealy I worked in a steel mill, but it’s not true. I’m a journalist.”
“Journalist? You write for newspapers?”
“I’ve been doing some other things, but yes, mainly I write for newspapers.”
Lucy, being Lucy, went straight to the point. “Are you going to write about Nell?”
“I have to. That’s why she’s so mad at me. ”
Lucy studied Nealy. “Is it bad that Mat’s a journalist?”
Nealy wouldn’t look at him. “Yes. It’s bad.”
“Why?”
Nealy gazed down at her hands. “This was a private time for me. And I told him some things that I didn’t want anybody else to know.”
Lucy’s expression brightened. “That’s okay, then. He’ll change his mind. Won’t you, Mat?”
Nealy jumped to her feet and turned away from them, clutching her arms across her chest.
Lucy frowned. “Tell her, Mat. Tell her you won’t write about her.”
Nealy turned back, her blue eyes icy. “Yes, Mat, tell me.”
Lucy’s eyes darted between the two of them. “You aren’t going to write about her, are you?”
“Of course he is, Lucy. It’s too big a story for him to ignore.”
Right then, it struck him that it was all coming to an end, and he was going to lose her. Not in the indefinite future, but now, this afternoon.
“Mat?” Lucy’s eyes were imploring.
“I won’t betray her, Luce. I already told her that, but she’s not buying it.”
Nealy took a deep breath, then turned to Lucy as if he weren’t in the room, and gave her a frozen facsimile of a smile. “Don’t worry about it. It has nothing to do with you.”
Lucy’s apprehension had returned. “Then why did you want to talk to me alone? What about?”
Nealy’s chest rose; her arms fell to her sides. “I want to adopt you and Button.”
20
NEALY HAD PLANNED to approach Lucy privately about this, but since Mat wouldn’t let her, she pretended he didn’t exist. Lucy stared at her as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Nealy smiled and repeated herself.
“I want to adopt the two of you.”
“You . . . you do?” Lucy’s voice squeaked on the last word.
“Don’t you think we should have talked about this first?” Mat uncoiled from the couch vertebra by vertebra.
Lucy hadn’t taken her eyes off her. “You don’t mean both of us. Button and . . . me.”
“Of course I mean both of you.”
Mat swept the sleeping baby into his arms. “Nealy, I want to talk to you.”
She ignored him. “The thing is, you’re going to have to think very hard about this because a lot of bad stuff will happen if you go with me, and I won’t be able to do anything about it.”
Lucy’s eyes were wide. “What do you mean? How could anything bad happen?”
Nealy rose and walked over to the ottoman at the foot of Lucy’s chair. “I’m a public figure, and that won’t go away, even when I’m no longer First Lady. ” She sat down and took Lucy’s hand, rubbed her slim, cold fingers. “We’ll be connected, so lots of people will be
waiting for you to do something wrong.”
Lucy’s throat worked as she swallowed. “I don’t care about that.”
“You’ll care. Believe me. It’s a terrible thing to lose your privacy, and that’s what you’ll be doing. You’ll have Secret Service following you everywhere—when you’re with your friends, the first time you’re on a date, wherever you want to go. You’ll never be able to go anywhere by yourself.”
“You did.”
“This has only been temporary. I knew from the beginning that I’d have to go back to my real life.” She rubbed Lucy’s knuckles. “And it’s not just the big things in your life that will be destroyed; it’s the little things, too. Think about how much you love going to the mall. You won’t be able to do that without causing all kinds of trouble, and pretty soon you’ll realize it’s not worth it. You’re going to miss things like that a lot.”
“I never said I had to go to malls.”
Nealy needed to make her understand exactly what she was walking into. “Wait until you screw up, Luce, because that won’t be just between the two of us. The whole world will know about it.”
Mat took a step closer to the windows, Button limp in his arms, his expression growing more foreboding. He should be her partner in this, not her adversary, and her resentment deepened.
She returned her attention to Lucy. “If you curse in public, or talk too loud, or decide to go back to that awful purple hair, it’s going to end up in the newspapers, and then everybody will starting criticizing you. One day you’ll turn on the television, and some psychologist will be analyzing your personality for all of America.”
“That blows.”
Her words had finally penetrated. “It really does. And it’ll happen, I promise you.”
“Did people say a lot of bad things about you in the newspaper while you were growing up?”
“Not too much.”
“Then why do you think they’ll say them about me?”
She gave Lucy a sympathetic smile. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I was an angel compared to you. My father wouldn’t have had it any other way. And that’s another big problem. My father.”
“Is he mean?”
“Not mean, but he can be very difficult. He’s a big part of my life, though, so you’ll be stuck with him, too. And even if I tell him not to, he’ll give you lectures about how you have to set an example. When you do something wrong, he has this way of looking at you that makes you feel bad about yourself. He’ll always be comparing the way you are to the way I was, and he’ll make sure you come up short. You’re not going to like him very much, but you’ll still have to put up with him.”
Lucy’s chest quivered as she took a breath. “You really mean it, don’t you? You’d adopt us like . . . forever?”
“Oh, sweetheart, I know this is what you think you want more than anything, but it’s not going to be easy. And here’s the thing . . . you have to make this decision for two people, not just for yourself.”
“For Button, too.”
Nealy nodded. “At least you’ll remember what it was like to live as a normal person, but public life will be the only life she’ll know. And I promise you, the day will come when she’ll blame you for that.”
Lucy studied her for a long time. “You’re really serious?”
“I’m serious. Unfortunately, you don’t have much time to think it over, even though this is probably the biggest decision you’ll ever make.”
“My mind’s already made up.” She jumped up. “We’re coming with you!”
Nealy wasn’t surprised, and she almost wanted Mat to object, but when she glanced at him, his expression was stony.
“Go get your things together,” she said quietly. “We have to leave soon.”
Lucy rushed toward the door, only to stop. “There’s something you should know. Button’s name. It’s really . . .” She grimaced. “It’s . . . Beatrice.”
Nealy managed a smile. “Thanks for telling me.”
For a moment Lucy simply stood there, and then those abused fingernails shot to her mouth. “I know why you want to adopt Button—because she’s so cute and everything. But . . .” She withdrew her fingers, picked at her thumb. Her voice became small and defenseless. “Why do you want to adopt me?”
Nealy rose from the ottoman. “Because I love you, Luce.”
“That’s so bogus.” Despite her words, she looked puzzled instead of belligerent. “How could you love me after what I just did?”
“Because you’re you. I guess you’re the kid I always wanted to be.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re brave, and you stand up for yourself. You know what you want out of life, and you’re willing to put yourself on the line to get it.”
For once, Lucy was speechless. It didn’t last, however, and her expression grew fierce. “I love you, too, Nell. And I promise I won’t ever let anybody give you any shit!”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
The teenager gave her a blazing smile and raced from the sunporch.
Lucy had been so excited that she hadn’t even looked at Mat, let alone consulted him. He came toward Nealy.
“I wish you’d talked to me about this first.”
“Why? I’m the answer to your prayers, Mat. In less than an hour, you’re going to have everything you want. No females and the story of your life.”
“That’s not . . .” He seemed to be struggling for his words. “I’m not sure this is the best thing for them.”
“I know it’s not. Do you have something better in mind?”
He started to sit, then seemed to change his mind. He began to come closer, stopped. For the first time since she’d known him, he looked ungainly, as if those long legs and strong arms didn’t belong to him.
“I think . . . it’s . . .” He shifted Button from one side to the other. “Yeah, you’re right. I don’t have anything better in mind. I’ll give you the name of the attorney who’s been handling this. I’m sure your friends in Washington can straighten everything out with the Pennsylvania Child Services people.”
“I’ll get it taken care of.”
“Yoo-hoo!”
Nothing could have told Nealy more clearly that her adventure was over than the sight of Bertis and Charlie standing in the backyard, with Toni detaining them on one side, Jason on the other.
“These people won’t let us in!” Bertis exclaimed, waving wildly.
Nealy felt her shoulders sag. This was the world she was thrusting those children into.
“I’m sorry, Nealy.”
Startled, she looked up to see Mat regarding her with something that looked like compassion. She didn’t want his sympathy, hated him so much at that moment for giving it to her that she could barely manage a shrug. “Life goes on.”
“Yeah, it sure does.”
In the end, he was the one who rescued the Waynes and brought them inside. They’d already figured out Nealy’s identity, but when she tried to explain why she’d left Washington, she couldn’t manage it, and he took over. He also told them what was happening with the girls. When he was done, Nealy waited for them to change into different people, but Bertis merely shook her head and extended the plate she’d been carrying.
“Have some fudge, you poor thing. It’ll make you feel better.”
As Nealy packed the last of Button’s clothes, Lucy flew from one spot in the motor home to another, talking a mile a minute and getting in the way. “. . . do the dishes every night, and take care of Button, and clean my room. I’ll clean the whole house—I’ll even clean the White House—and I’ll—”
The door opened and Mat wedged himself inside. “Luce, Bertis and Charlie are on the sunporch watching Button. Why don’t you say your good-byes?”
“I’ll invite them to come visit us!” The door banged behind her as she ran outside.
Mat’s betrayal clung to Nealy like bitter dust. She turned her attention to packing up the last of Button’s romper
s.
“The vultures are already descending,” he said. “A patrol car just showed up.”
She placed the stack of clothes inside the suitcase and pretended it didn’t matter. Mat moved closer, filling up what was left of the floor space. She thought about Dennis and the truth she hadn’t quite revealed, but which Mat had, nonetheless, guessed. Before she left, she had to confront him about it.
“What do I have to do to keep you from telling my secrets?”
He regarded her with watchful eyes. “I guess you’re going to have to trust me.”
“Why? Never trust the press—one of the first rules I learned.”
“I’m not just the press,” he said tightly. “I’m your friend.”
Her friend. Not her lover. Not her beloved. It shouldn’t hurt so much.
She forced herself to remember that she had a legacy to protect and there were larger issues at stake than a broken heart. Maybe she’d mistaken his intention and judged him too harshly. “Does that mean you’re not going to write about any of this?”
“I have to,” he said quietly.
She shouldn’t have been so devastated, but she was.
“Listen to me, Nealy. The press is going to be in a feeding frenzy. I’m the best protection you’ve got.”
“Aren’t I lucky,” she shot back.
“I could give you a dozen reasons why I have to write this story, but you’re not going to listen to any of them, are you? I’ve been tried and convicted.”
She clenched her fists. “Don’t you dare try and take the moral high road! I’ve seen some slimy journalistic tactics over the years, but you get the prize. Do you always sleep with your big stories?”
“Stop it,” he said tightly.
She fumbled with the zipper on the suitcase. “Get out. I don’t have anything more to say to you.”
“Nealy, use your head. Somebody’s going to have to set the record straight about where you’ve been or you’ll never have any peace.”
“So you’re doing this as a favor?”
“I don’t want us to part as enemies.”