I feel like whenever anyone wants to talk me, I’m in for it. Throwback from when I was a troublemaking kid I guess.
“He didn’t sound mad. And you haven’t given him reason to rip you a new one, right?”
“Nope.” I run a hand through my hair and lean my head back against the couch, closing my eyes for a brief moment before I turn to look at him. “Why are you still awake?”
“Some girl I chatted up on Tinder for a while was supposed to meet me here tonight but she never showed. I gave her my cell number and everything. Now she’s sending me texts full of apologies and saying she fell asleep.” Wade rolls his eyes. “Like I believe that shit.”
He loves to think the worst. “Maybe it’s true. Maybe you should give her the benefit of the doubt.”
“The girls I deal with? They don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt. They’re all liars,” he mutters, shaking his head. “She was probably fucking some other dude and lost track of time. Wouldn’t doubt for a second that she’s just some Tinder whore.”
“Like you are?” I glare at him and he gives me a look, one that asks why I’m giving him a bunch of shit. “It’s true. You’re the one who’s the Tinder whore and you know it. So don’t go bashing some chick just because she didn’t come running when you asked her to. She probably knows all she’d get out of it is a blow job and a half hearted fuck.”
“Nothing wrong with a good blow job,” Wade says with a shitty grin.
I toss a pillow at him, nailing him on the side of his head. “Of course you’d say that. You’re not the one on your knees with a mouthful of dick and a tired jaw.”
“Whatever,” he practically spits out. Sometimes I take it too far. Sometimes he does too. But how much longer was he going to keep up this pace? Felt like he banged a different chick every day of the week. “Since when do you give me such a hard time? You used to be just like me.”
“I was never as bad as you and you know it.” I’m about to say more but he keeps on talking.
“We were partners in crime. Before you met Chelsea, we were fucking around with girls left and right. It was fun, man.” He shakes his head, his expression sad. “Sometimes I miss those days.”
I don’t miss them at all. I like what I have with Chelsea. The last thing I want to do is go back to that kind of meaningless life. Not that Wade is meaningless. But all the sex he’s having with different women is a whole lot of nothing and he knows it.
“I know Chelsea’s cool and all. She’s the perfect girl for you,” Wade continues. “But sometimes…I miss when it was just us.”
“Well, it’s gonna be just us all summer,” I mutter. “So your wish just came true.”
“It won’t be the same,” Wade points out. “You won’t go out, and even if you do it’s not like you’ll be any fun. You’ll probably sit around here and mope the whole time she’s gone.”
Most likely, though I don’t plan to since that sounds seriously fucked up.
“You want to go out? I’ll go out,” I tell him, irritation simmering in my blood. I’m tired and that makes me quick to anger. I hate how he’s talking, like I’m just a little bitch sitting around waiting for my girlfriend to call me while she’s off living her life.
“Really?” He sounds like he doesn’t believe me. “How about later this week? Let’s do Thirsty Thursday like the old days.”
Thirsty Thursday is the most popular day of the week when college is in session. Since it’s summer, most of the students have gone back home so the downtown area will be quiet. Yet Thirsty Thursday carries on with or without them. And there are always a few people lingering around, the ones that don’t go home anymore. The locals, like me and Wade.
“I’m in,” I say firmly, watching as he grabs his phone and sends another text.
“I got another chick wanting to come over,” he says, his gaze never leaving his cell screen.
“You lined up someone else already?” I can’t freaking believe it. Though I should. I mean come on, he’s become Wade the chick magnet. All the girls want him. To the point that I think it’s gone completely to his head.
“Hell yeah. She’ll never know she was second choice. I made out with her before, last week. Never took it any farther than that though.” He smiles, looking pleased with himself.
I shake my head, blown away by the casual assessment of his love life. Scratch that, make that his sex life. Big difference. “Don’t you ever want to find a good girl? Someone you can actually date and spend time with and maybe even…I don’t know, call your girlfriend?” Or fall in love with? Not like I’d ever say that out loud. He’ll give me enough grief in exactly 4…3…2…
“You’re getting sappy in your old age.” Wade grins, not letting me down whatsoever. He’ll also never let me forget that I’m a couple of months older than him. Ever. “I don’t want a girlfriend. All they do is tie you down and nag you all the time.”
“Not Chelsea,” I point out.
“Yeah, but there’s no one else like Chelsea,” he says, lifting his head so he can look at me. His expression is dead serious. “She’s perfect, man. I’d be freaking lucky if I could find a girl half as good as yours.”
I try my best to ignore the pang in my chest but it’s no use. Hearing my best friend praise my girlfriend only makes me miss her more.
“Good ol’ Jameson is kind of a hard ass, huh?”
Startled, I glance up from my phone to find one of the interns—her name’s Talby—standing beside the picnic table where I’m sitting, a small shopping bag from Victoria’s Secret dangling from her fingers.
“Um, yeah. Sort of.” My new boss came at us like a blustering general ready to go into full on battle first thing this morning but I figured he was putting on a show. Letting us know that he meant business. I could appreciate the act. I had a feeling he was a big old softy though. His warm brown eyes were too kind. And he spoke of his wife multiple times and we’d only just met.
Talby’s smiling at me, her head angled to the side and I wonder if she wants me to invite her to join me for our lunch hour. “Can I sit here?” she asks, answering my own question and I nod, dashing off a quick text to Owen before I set my phone on the table beside my pitiful lunch.
PB&J, a mini bag of Goldfish—so sue me, I love them—and a slightly warm Sprite. Oh, and an apple. All stuff I went shopping for last night at the supermarket up the road from the university.
Shopping alone is no fun. Shopping for one is really no fun. Missing your boyfriend almost more than you can stand is the ultimate in no fun.
I’m pitiful.
“I love peanut butter,” Talby says as she starts pulling out various items from her Victoria’s Secret bag. A banana, a snack baggie of baby carrots, another baggie of celery and a bottle of coconut water.
“But you’re not eating it,” I point out, taking a bite of my sandwich.
“Too fattening,” she answers nonchalantly. She unzips the bag of carrots and pulls one out to start munching on it. “Want one?” She holds the bag out toward me.
“No thanks,” I say weakly, setting my sandwich down. Maybe she’s right. I shouldn’t eat peanut butter. It’ll only make me fat. And then Owen will leave me. Not like I’m around to remind him he has a girlfriend anyway. What if he meets someone else? What if he starts flirting with some dumb girl at a bar—because I know Wade’s going to want him to go out since I’m not there—and he ends up liking her? What if he’s attracted to her? And she’s attracted to him because who wouldn’t be? I mean, my God, he’s Owen Maguire. Girls glare at me every time they see us walking together. I can see why. He’s so gorgeous it almost hurts to look at him.
My phone buzzes and I grab it eagerly to read Owen’s text.
Yeah I’m still in bed. Wish you were with me though.
Naked.
I smile, my cheeks warming. It’s past noon and he’s still in bed? I know he got home late last night. Well, really early this morning. And he was probably tired after our extra busy weekend.
I know I’m still tired, though I’d give anything to be with him right now in our bed. Naked.
God, I miss him so much already. How am I ever going to get through this?
“You have a really dreamy look on your face right about now,” Talby says, knocking me from my thoughts. “The text must be from a guy.”
“My boyfriend,” I admit, feeling stupid.
“Ah,” she says, her tone all-knowing. “He’s pretty special?”
“I’m in love with him.” Completely and totally.
“And he doesn’t live here I take it.” When I send her a peculiar look she shrugs. “I heard a few details about you before you came in this morning. Jameson mentioned you were from up north. That you’re here only for the summer.”
They were talking about me? Weird. “Yeah, it’s true.” Only for the summer. It sounds like no big deal but when I think of all of those weeks stretched out in front of me, it makes my heart hurt. I need to focus on my new job, not worry about the next time I’m going to see my boyfriend. Independence is good. Fable said those exact words to me the last time I talked to her. She’s my go to when it comes to advice and I’m so thankful that I have her in my life.
But even though she says independence is good, it doesn’t feel so great at this particular moment.
“So you miss him.” When I say nothing, she continues. “Your boyfriend.”
“Uh huh.” I stare at my stupid sandwich, the one that’s going to make me fat and grab my apple instead, sinking my teeth into the crisp fruit.
“Well, let me see him then. Do you have a photo?” Talby’s munching on carrots and I grab my phone, scrolling through my photos until I come upon a particularly good one of my Owen.
I took it on Saturday when we were at the beach. His dark blond hair is wet so it looks even darker than usual and he’d whipped his head around when I called his name, his pretty green eyes sparkling and there’s a big smile on his face. He’s not wearing a shirt and all I see is acres of golden, firm skin. He looks amazing.
So I hand over my phone and wait for Talby to gush over my freaking gorgeous boyfriend.
“Holy hell girl,” she breathes, staring at the phone. “He’s hot.”
I say nothing. Just let her look her fill at Owen until she finally hands over the phone. “This is perfect,” Talby says.
“What is?” I ask with a frown.
“You, being so incredibly taken by about the hottest man on the planet and me completely single and ready to freaking mingle.” She grins. “I broke up with my dickhead boyfriend two months ago.”
“I’m sorry…” I start to say but she cuts me off with a wave.
“Don’t be. He was a cheating asshole. Best decision I ever made.” Talby’s grin grows. How that’s possible I’m not quite sure. “I went through the month long depressive state where I ate my feelings and soaked them in beer. Then I became mad. Like, super angry I-wanted-to-tear-everything-apart-and-key-my-ex’s-stupid-ugly-truck mad. That lasted for a few weeks.”
I hope like crazy she still isn’t in that state. Sounds violent. “How are you feeling now?”
“Over him. And it feels fucking fantastic.” Talby breaks into the celery bag and starts munching. I really hate celery. It tastes weird and I always get strings in my teeth. “You should go out with me sometime.”
Oh, I don’t know about that. I’m not here to party. I’m in Santa Augustina to learn and to work and make a little money. Not go out drinking and partying every night. Crap, I’m not even twenty-one yet. And I definitely don’t have a fake ID.
I’m too much of a good girl to even consider getting one.
“Don’t make that little face,” Talby says, catching me. Dang, she’s perceptive. “I’m fun, I swear. I know everyone. Where all the good parties are, even in the summer when no one’s really around. In fact, there’s a big one happening over at Shep Prescott’s house Wednesday night.”
“Uh,” I start to protest but she shakes her head, that grin back in place. Her teeth are perfectly white and perfectly straight. Her hair is a pretty golden brown that falls in gentle waves down her back. From looking at her, I find it hard to believe she ate her feelings and soaked them in beer. She’s got a great body.
While I’m packing extra pounds that make my boyfriend say he’s got more to grab onto so supposedly that makes him happy.
Yeah, right.
“You’re going.” She points her celery at me. “Everyone wants to go to Shep’s parties. They’re legendary. I heard his parents are in the Turks and Caicos for the next few months and so he can’t go back home, considering they let the staff have the entire summer off and heaven forbid he has to wash his own clothes and pick up after himself or oh my God, like actually cook a meal. So he’s staying here.”
Well, that sounds surreal. I knew kids like that, growing up. I was sort of like that myself at one point. Dad had all the money in the world, or so it seemed. He bought me everything I could want. Took us on extravagant trips. Focused all of his attention on Mom, when he deigned to spend time with us, but when he was gone, it was like the earth opened up and swallowed him whole. He flat out disappeared for days, weeks, sometimes months, devastating Mom every single time.
Yet she took him back. Always. He brought her an expensive gift, bought back her love and sweet-talked her. Just like that, she was swayed.
My memories aren’t always pleasant, especially when all the big crap hit the fan. Growing up, I thought that was how people lived. How parents raised their kids. I believed their behavior was normal.
But what is normal anyway? No one I know is from a normal family. We’ve all got our quirks.
“Please say yes,” Talby says, snapping me out of my thoughts. I realize she’s been talking to me this entire time and I feel bad. I should go out with her. If Owen were here right now he’d encourage me to do it. He’d want me to say yes and make new friends, even go to a party.
“Okay,” I agree and she smiles, shoving the last bit of celery into her mouth before she starts clapping her hands.
“Yay! I can’t wait. Everyone will be intrigued with the new girl,” she says, looking pleased with herself. “And then I can sink my claws into them.”
Is she using me as some sort of bait to hook up with guys? Sounds perfectly harmless but then again…
Who knows?
“Hey Chels.”
The sound of Owen’s voice in my ear makes my insides go liquid. I clutch my cell tighter and settle back on the uncomfortable double bed, glancing around my dreary dorm room. It had been fine when he was with me, filling up the space with his vibrant personality.
Now the room fills small and hollow. Sort of like my heart.
“Hi.” I want to roll my eyes at myself. That’s all I can muster up? What’s wrong with me? I’d been dying to talk to him all day.
“How was your first day at work? Do you like your new boss? Meet anyone nice?”
I proceed to tell him everything. How Professor Michaels came on strong but I could tell he’s really kind and quiet. How all the interns were nice and seemed excited to be there. That the writing program we’re putting together is unlike any other I’ve seen before and I know it’s going to be a great accomplishment when it’s all said and done.
“Made any friends?” he asks when I’m finished.
“Sort of.” I sink my head deeper into the too-soft pillow. “Her name is Talby.”
“What kind of name is that?”
“I don’t know, but she seems really nice. Fun. She invited me to go to a party with her on Wednesday,” I tell him.
“You should go,” he urges. “You could meet new people.”
“I know. I guess it’s at some rich kid’s house.”
“I’m sure that means it’s going to be a nice house with top notch booze.”
I laugh. “Only you would care about that.” Though I know he’s not a big drinker, not so much anymore. After everything that happened with his mom, he’s become cautious and
I love that about him. It means he’s aware of his own weaknesses and does his best to avoid them.
“Gotta look for the positives where you can,” he says.
“So how about you? How was your day? Or did you spend most of it in bed?” I tease, though the second I say the word bed I imagine the two of us in our bed and the thought makes me squeeze my thighs together.
I never realized just how needy I am for sexual contact until I’m away from Owen. It’s sort of wild. Funny, how I lived without it when all the teenagers around me were getting it on with anyone and everyone. I thought they were crazy.
Now I feel insatiable. And I’m all alone which sucks.
“I finally crawled out of bed around one.” He punctuates his sentence with a yawn. “I guess Coach wants to talk to me.”
“What about?”
“I dunno. We keep missing each other. Wade told me he called when I got home. I tried to call him and left a message. Then I somehow missed his call on my cell when I was out earlier,” he explains.
“Where’d you go?”
“The gym.” I can tell he’s making a face. I can practically hear it in his tone. “I figure if you’re not here giving me a rigorous sexual workout I should keep up at the gym during the off season.”
I almost want to melt away with embarrassment from what he just said but I push forward like no big deal. That he can still fluster me is sort of amazing. “Tell me you’re coming here on Friday.”
“I am,” he says without hesitation. “You know what I promised you on Sunday before I left.”
Five days, he’d told me. All we needed to do was focus on the next five days and that’s when we’d see each other again. I can handle five days, he told me. And so could he. If we broke it up into little chunks versus thinking of the entire summer stretching out before us, it’s easier to deal with.
“I know,” I murmur. “It’s only Monday and I miss you so much.”
“You saw me twenty four hours ago,” he points out.