Flawed Love
Bella Jewel
Published by Bella Jewel, 2015.
Table of Contents
Title Page
*~*FLAWED LOVE*~*
FLAWED LOVE | Copyright © 2015 Bella Jewel
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
DEDICATION
PROLOGUE | MALI – THEN
CHAPTER ONE | NOW – MALI
CHAPTER TWO | THEN – MALI
CHAPTER THREE | NOW – MALI
CHAPTER FOUR | THEN – MALI
CHAPTER FIVE | NOW – MALI
CHAPTER SIX | THEN – MALI
CHAPTER SEVEN | NOW – MALI
CHAPTER EIGHT | THEN – MALI
CHAPTER NINE | NOW – MALI
CHAPTER TEN | THEN – MALI
CHAPTER ELEVEN | NOW – MALI
CHAPTER TWELVE | THEN – MALI
CHAPTER THIRTEEN | NOW – MALI
CHAPTER FOURTEEN | THEN – MALI
CHAPTER FIFTEEN | NOW – MALI
CHAPTER SIXTEEN | MALI – THEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN | NOW – MALI
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN | THEN – MALI
CHAPTER NINETEEN | NOW – MALI
CHAPTER TWENTY | THEN – MALI
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE | NOW – MALI
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO | THEN – MALI
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE | NOW – MALI
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR | THEN – RAINER
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE | NOW – MALI
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX | NOW – MALI
EPILOGUE
THE END
*~*FLAWED LOVE*~*
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FLAWED LOVE
Copyright © 2015 Bella Jewel
FLAWED LOVE is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and events portrayed in this book either are from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, establishments, events, or location is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
As always, my heartfelt thanks to every single blogger, reader and author that has supported my journey, from reading my books, to sharing them, to raving about them, to being there for me. Thank you. My career would be nothing without any of you.
A huge thanks to Kylie from Give Me Books for organizing my reveals and blitzes. You do such an amazing job. No matter how many times I use you, I am always blown away by how efficient you are. Nothing is ever a drama. Thank you for giving me so much support.
A massive thanks to LM Creations for this gorgeous cover. Every time we work together, I swear it just gets better and better. These covers are breathtaking, so thank you. Also to Golden from FuriousFotog and his GORGEOUS models for always having a picture on hand for me to create this beauty. Thank you for always being there to help me out. You’re all amazing.
To Lauren, my epic editor. You are the best thing since sliced bread, no lie. You seriously are the best person EVER to work with. You are quick and your notes always make me laugh. No one else could ever keep up with my writing pace, but you always nail it.
To my girls, Belle and Sali. I f’ing love you so hard. There’s not a day that goes by that I’m not thankful to have you in my life. From our crazy vox messages, to the amazing times we have together. You girls are my glue, but you already know that.
And of course, to my admin, MJ, for ALWAYS keeping my page running beautifully. I couldn’t do it without you, girly. I love your teasers and your passion. Thank you for taking the time out of your life to help this poor girl keep everything running.
And, last but certainly not least, to my loyal readers. To each and every one of you that picks up my books and give me a chance. To the reviews you write, good or bad. To the time you take to make me a better person. You make this real for me; never stop giving such love and passion. You make our journey so amazing.
DEDICATION
To everyone who has lost love and been lucky enough to find it again. To second chances and the epic romances that sweep us off our feet.
PROLOGUE
MALI – THEN
“R is for Rainer, handsome as can be, A is for asshole, one he can be, I is for idiot, yeah, you know it’s true, N is for nerdy, you’re a little of that too, E is for energetic, there’s no holding you back, R is for rebel, one day I’ll fight back.”
Rainer rolls his eyes and throws the candy he was sucking at my head. I duck with a laugh and reach down to the dirty wooden floor, picking it up and tossing it back at him. He catches it and throws it back into his mouth, after dusting it off.
“God, you’re sick!” I scrunch up my nose. “I could have done anything with my hands . . .”
I lift my fingers and wriggle them, and Rainer winks at me.
“No worse than I’ve had from you before, Emy.”
“Well, that’s a good point.”
He swings his legs and jumps down from my tree house, glancing back up at me when he’s done. I grin down at him, tossing a piece of candy at his head again. He catches and pockets it, then winks at me.
“Where are you going, Rai Rai?”
He shrugs. “To cause trouble. You coming?”
“Um, hell yes.”
I jump down from the tree house and run after him, bumping my shoulder into his when I reach his side.
Rainer and I have been best friends since we were twelve. I’m seventeen now, and he’s eighteen, but we’re still as close as we were the day we met. It was a typical boy-meets-girl kind of story—only instead of just ‘meeting’ we preformed an epic ass-kicking together. I was defending a young nerdy boy in our class from a pair of bullies who were pushing him around. Rainer saw what was happening and got involved, helping me out.
We became friends and that was that.
We’re polar opposites. He’s handsome and the most popular boy in school. I’m a complete tomboy, and all my friends are, well, boys. Mostly nerdy boys. We’re the most unlikely duo, but it works for us. He’s in his final year of high school, even though he’s already eighteen. Rainer lives just up the road, so our friendship blossomed and grew over the years, especially considering we’re forever getting up to mischief together.
Rainer’s father is a drunk, and his mother left when he was really young, so I think I’m the only thing he’s got. My family is typical of the rich—posh and stuck up. My father owns a massive legal firm and my mother reaps the benefits of the cash he brings in. We live in a huge house, with pretty things, and I want none of it. My sister, Evangeline, however, can’t get enough and is as spoiled as my mother.
“Let’s go and steal ice cream from the crazy old guy at the park again,” Rainer suggests.
“Do you have to be such a rebel?” I scoff. “Besides, I don’t want ice cream.”
“What’s wrong with you? Everyone loves ice cream.”
“Not cool bad-ass chicks like me.”
“You’re about as cool as a pool full of lava.”
I laugh. “That was kind of mean, Rai Rai.”
“Stop calling me that. I’ll lose my reputation.”
I reach up and flick his earlobe. “What reputation?”
“Don’t i
nsult my epic-ness.”
I roll my eyes. “All right, Rainer.” I grin. “Let’s go steal ice cream.”
“I knew there was a reason we’re friends.”
I laugh, and he throws an arm around my shoulder.
An epic friendship indeed.
CHAPTER ONE
NOW – MALI
“Oh my God, Mali, what the fuck are these shoes?”
I roll my eyes at my roommate’s screeching. A moment later she appears in my doorway, holding up a pair of black, strappy pumps that I stole from my sister, Eva, when I visited my parents last night. Of course Eva doesn’t know; that’s the best part about it.
“They’re Eva’s.” I grin. “But as far as she knows, they’re still in her closet...”
“Oh, you’re bad. Can I wear them tonight?”
I shrug. “They’re all yours.”
She holds them against her chest like they’re fine china. “Oh my God, I’m so excited. What dress should I wear?”
She could wear a sack and look awesome. Jemima “Mimi” Watson is a diva, a princess and a bad-ass babe all wrapped in one, tiny bow. She’s petite, even more so than me, with long platinum blond hair—fake, of course—and the prettiest face I’ve seen on a girl since . . . ever. She’s got big, blue eyes, full pink lips and lashes that make men drool.
She has an attitude to match.
“Any of your dresses will work,” I say. “Are you sure you want to come tonight?”
“You just found out the man you used to know, used to adore, who took your virginity and was your best friend, is back in town. Um, hell yes I want to come.”
“Apparently he’s been in town a while, I ran into an old friend of ours from high school and she told me he was back in town. I don’t know how I missed that.”
She shrugs. “You weren’t looking, and it’s been a long time. How long since you last saw him?”
“More than ten years. I don’t even know where he went.”
“Then it should be an epic reunion.”
I turn and stare at myself in the mirror. “Do you think he’ll recognize me?”
“Of course.”
I snort. “You have no idea what I used to look like. Honestly, I was like a mini sassy boy.”
She giggles. “I can’t imagine it, but I believe you.”
I study my face. I’m certainly not the girl Rainer probably remembers. I used to have short-ish blond hair, I wore glasses, and I was such a tomboy I wouldn’t be caught dead in a dress. It was jeans, baggy tees and chucks. Now . . . God, now I am the complete opposite. My hair is dark chocolate brown and long, flowing down my back in curls. And I wear a lot of dresses.
Plus I don’t have glasses anymore.
Still, my face has to be the same . . . right?
I snort to myself. It’s not the same, not even close. It’s gotten finer, my lips have gotten fuller, and my eyes, I swear, are bigger. They’re still the same shade of green, though.
“You’re panicking. I can see it in your face,” Mimi says, stepping up beside me.
“What if he doesn’t want to see me? The last time we saw each other . . .”
I close my eyes, pushing the memory back. It wasn’t a nice one. It was a hard time, and Rainer had changed so much. He was doing bad things that he refused to tell me about, and things between us deteriorated. Hurt, we kept on fighting but one day he just disappeared. I never saw him again. I never even knew where he went.
It hurt like hell.
“The past is the past. I’m sure he hasn’t held a grudge for that long.”
I nod, feeling nervous all over again.
“Come on, let’s get you dressed to impress.”
Mimi swings me around, and rifles through my closet until she finds the perfect dress for me, or so she states. Then she pulls out a pair of sexy black heels and a curling iron. She gets to work on my hair, brushing it and curling it, then running some oil through it so it shines. The dress she chose is cute, but sexy. It’s tight around the bust, showing good cleavage, but it flares out from the waist. The entire thing is black, with a lace underlay.
Mimi wears a scorching little red number, and pairs it with the shoes she stole from me that I stole from my sister. She leaves her blond hair down, too, only hers is tack straight. We put a light dusting of makeup on, and then collect our purses. We’re ready to go, and the closer we get to seeing Rainer again, the more I want to vomit in my mouth.
But he was my friend once—surely nothing has changed.
~*~*~*~
The bar Rainer owns is packed for its size. There are people mingling outside, lining up nearly around the block, and when we get in, it’s full. People are dancing, and sitting at booths, not to mention playing countless games of pool. Mimi starts wiggling her ass the moment we’re past the front entrance, and I follow behind her, my heart in my throat as I let my eyes scan the space.
I don’t see him.
We go to the bar and order a drink, and still, I don’t see him. Maybe we got the wrong place? I swallow the drink back and take another one, then I join Mimi on the dance floor as we kill time. I try to picture the Rainer I remember in my head, and it’s hard to think of him as a man. When I saw him last, he was twenty and only just starting to change from teenage boy to man.
He’d be over thirty now.
I picture him in my head, with his dark brown eyes and long, dark hair. He always kept his hair around his shoulders, like the rebel he was. He was tall, and he always had a good amount of bulk, even at a young age. He had the most amazing bronze skin, giving him a mysterious, exotic look. Rainer was beautiful, the kind of man to ruin you for any other male.
“Can you see him?” Mimi yells into my ear.
“No,” I call back.
“We’ll dance until he shows up. This bar is great.”
I nod and we dance, and dance, and dance. What seems like hours pass, and still there’s no Rainer. I’ve gone through three drinks and two bottles of water, because this dance floor is making me crazy sweaty. I wave to Mimi and point to an empty booth. She nods and gives me the thumbs up, and I make my way over to it, dropping down on my ass and sighing with relief. It’s much cooler here.
I sit at that booth for another hour, when finally a man appears at the bar. I’m way too far back to see if it’s Rainer or not, but whoever it is, he’s massive. I stand and push through the crowd, keeping my eye on the guy who is grinning at a pretty, strawberry-blond woman, who is sitting by herself on a barstool. My heart starts pounding as I near, wondering if it’s him.
The anticipation is killing me.
When I’m close enough to study his face, I do just that. I look at him, and I know, I just know. I suck in a shaky breath, because oh, oh wow, he’s so . . . breathtaking. Rainer always had good looks, but now . . . God, now he’s panty-melting handsome, dangerous and rugged, sexy as sin. The more I study him, the more my heart pounds.
He’s mesmerizing.
His eyes, which were always dark brown, seem almost black in this light. His hair is cropped a lot shorter than I ever remember and is now only a few inches long, the bottom curling around his collar. It’s messy, and sexy. He’s got a cover of two-day growth on his chin and around his mouth, and his face is so masculine it almost hurts to look at him.
His body, oh God, his body, it’s double the size I remember. He’s taller and so much bigger. He’s a mass ball of muscle. His biceps are bulging from his black tee, and his forearms are probably bigger than my legs. He’s ripped. Hardcore. I don’t realize I’m tearing up until I feel a subtle burn behind my eyelids. I take a deep, shaky breath, and walk over to the bar, stopping next to the strawberry-blond girl he was just talking to.
She’s watching me, but I’m too busy watching him. My lip is trembling and my eyes are wide as I look at the only person I ever shared my soul with. God, I’ve been through so much with this man, and I honestly thought I’d never see him again, and yet here I am, right in front of him.
&nbs
p; He slides the girl a drink, smiling at her, showing two dimples that I remember so well. Then he turns his eyes to me. I wait for it, my heart pounding, my skin clammy, and my eyes big and round. I wait for him to recognize me, but it never comes. He just stares at me, his face blank, absolutely no recognition in his depths.
“Can I get you something?”
It feels as if someone has slapped me hard across the face. He doesn’t know who I am. I spent more than seven years being his best friend, he took my virginity, and he doesn’t know who I am. My face must register the hurt, but he seems not to notice. I don’t know what to do, what to say or how to feel. I only just manage a croaky, “No, ah, no. It’s fine.”
Then, with a broken heart and a body full of shame, I turn and rush out. The girl who was sitting at the bar follows me, and catches me at the entrance. Maybe she’s his girlfriend—who knows? “Hey, are you okay?” she asks, her blue eyes full of concern.
“Ah, I’m sorry, do I know you?”
She shakes her head. “I just saw that you were upset with Rainer. I wanted to see if you were okay?”
I was right; she knows Rainer but what she means to me, I have no idea. Still, I ask, “You know Rainer?”
She nods. “Yeah, do you?”
I look over to him, already talking with another person, as if I was never there. Nothing prepared me for this. I thought he’d be angry, maybe even excited, but never in a million years did I think he’d forget me. “I thought I did.”
Then I turn and run out.
CHAPTER TWO
THEN – MALI
“Give me a ride, jerk-face,” I snap, slapping Rainer’s truck with my open hand.
“Hell no. You’ll kill my cool, woman.”
I cross my arms and tap my foot. Rainer just grins at me.
“You’re seriously going to make me walk home?” I say, jumping up and leaning through the window.
He puts a hand to my forehead and pushes me out. “Hell yes I am. I’m taking Missy home.”