Read Flutter Page 16

“No. ” Mae closed her eyes and shook her head. “Maybe. I don’t know. ” She rubbed her forehead and smiled sadly at Milo. “I mean, if I left, you could all handle doing your laundry, couldn’t you?”

  “We don’t want you to stay because of laundry,” Milo said, looking appalled. “You’re the heart of the family. I don’t know what would happen if you went away. ”

  “I know that, love. ” She touched his leg gently. She went back to folding laundry, but more like the normal way she did. “I have time to think. There’s still time. ”

  “Alice!” Jack called from down the hall. “Alice? Where are you? Are you ready?”

  “I should go. ” I nodded back to the door. “We’re going to the zoo today. ”

  “Have fun,” Milo gave me a half-wave, but his focus was still on Mae. She chewed her lip and didn’t even notice me leaving.

  Back in the living room, Ezra was making Peter watch that Planet Earth documentary because of how amazing it looked on the new TV. Jack came over to me and took my hand. As he said his goodbyes to the guys, Peter gave me a weird look, and I hurried Jack along. I wasn’t sure how well I could hide my emotions from Jack.

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  Maybe I’d have to talk to Milo about all of this. He’d be really disappointed in me, but he’d help me out, assuming there was a way to help me out.

  We got to the zoo in time for Jack to see the otters and the prairie dogs, and he was overly excited about both of them. We spent a long time in the nocturnal exhibit with the bats, and Jack had way too much fun. As usual, his happiness was contagious, and I was having a great time.

  The best thing about the zoo was that most of the people there were children, and children didn’t react to us the way adults do. Some people still stared at us, and a small cluster of people followed us closer than was polite, but it was nothing that I couldn’t shake off. Jack didn’t even notice it at all.

  The highlight of the trip was the dolphin show. Jack made sure we sat right down in the front row, so when they jumped out or came to the edge, we got splashed. Afterwards, we went down to the lower level so we could see them in the aquarium. I stood next to the glass, watching them swim as if they were dancing with each other.

  “You know, I swam with dolphins once,” Jack said casually. “Mae had always wanted to do it, so the two of us went down to Florida, and we spent all day in the ocean. It was this thing we paid for, so it wasn’t like we randomly found wild dolphins or anything. But it was super awesome. We asked Peter to come with, but he said no, because dolphins are just big fish, and there’s nothing exciting about swimming with fish. ”

  “Dolphins are mammals!” A little girl was standing next to me, her face pressed up to the glass, but she sounded completely offended when Jack called dolphins “fish. ”

  “Yeah, I know,” Jack grinned at her. “My brother thinks they’re fish. ”

  “Your brother is an idiot,” the little girl said.

  “He sure is,” Jack laughed.

  The girl’s mother just noticed her talking to us, and she apologized profusely as she dragged her daughter away, all the while managing to ogle Jack as she did.

  “So you and Mae swam with dolphins?” I asked, walking away from the tank and changing the subject from Peter. Even in jest, I was uncomfortable with Jack saying anything about him.

  “Yeah, it was a really spectacular trip. We should go again,” Jack suggested. We wandered around the aquarium, and he had his hands shoved in his pockets as I admired the seahorses. “Milo would love it, and I know Mae would be up to going. We have to go during the day, and the sun gets pretty hard on you, but if you eat a lot and just crash the whole next day, you should be okay. ”

  “That would be really awesome. ” I couldn’t imagine anything cooler than swimming with dolphins, but the thought of Mae made me less enthusiastic. “But do you think Mae would really go?”

  “Yeah, why wouldn’t she?” Jack asked, but then it dawned on him what I meant. “Oh. Well. . . when this is all over, I’m sure she’ll want to go. ”

  “You really think so?” I raised an eyebrow. “Because, from the way Ezra makes it sound, there is no happy ending to all of this. She’s gonna be miserable. ”

  “I know,” he sighed.

  In the center of the aquarium, there was a shallow pool full of stingrays and sharks that people could pet, and Jack stopped at it. He reached in the tank to touch them, but he wasn’t that into it. I’m sure he actually adored that kind of thing, but I had him worrying about Mae now too.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring the entire day down,” I said.

  “No, you’re fine,” he said, taking his hand out of the water. “Were you talking to her today before we left?” I nodded. “How is she doing?”

  “Not so great,” I admitted. “But at least she hasn’t made a decision yet. ”

  “You mean she’s still considering doing it?” Jack looked at me with wide eyes and his skin paled a little. “I thought that after Ezra gave her that ultimatum, she’d just kinda get over it. I mean, not quickly or anything, but I thought that’s where she’d be headed. ”

  “You didn’t see her when she fought with Ezra. ” I thought about how she had literally been on her knees begging him. “For her, I don’t think there is any getting over this. Ever. Either she loses Ezra, or she loses a child. ”

  “I know Daisy means a lot to her, but she’s not really her child. ” Jack chewed the inside of his cheek. “She didn’t give birth to her or raise her or even speak to her. I understand that there’s a connection, but I don’t get why she’s willing to sacrifice everything for it. ”

  “I don’t completely get it either, but then again, I’ve never been a mother,” I said. “And that’s really all Mae has ever been. ” I took Jack’s hand in mine. “But you don’t think she’ll actually do it, do you? Or even if she does, her and Ezra won’t really split up over this? Will they?”

  “I honestly don’t know,” he sighed resignedly. “Once I would’ve said that nothing could break them up, but the longer I live, the more I realize that nothing lasts forever. ” Realizing the implications of what he said, he smiled at me and looped his arm around me shoulders.

  “Except for you and me. We’re in this ‘til the end, baby. ” He kissed the top of my head, and I leaned onto his shoulder, and I really, really hoped he was right.

  By the time we left the zoo, Jack managed to cheer me up. On the car ride home, he forced me to sing along with the Backstreet Boys, and he started making threats about taking me to a karaoke bar someday.

  When we got home, Matilda was the only one watching the brand new TV in the living room. Jack had bought her one of those pet DVD’s that were all images and sounds dogs would like, and this one had wacky misadventures with cats or something.

  Matilda was so engrossed in the movie that she hadn’t run to the door to greet Jack, so we decided to watch it with her and see what all the fuss was about. He sat down in the recliner, and I sat on his lap, resting my head on his shoulder.

  “Maybe we should get a cat,” Jack said. Matilda was parked on the floor right in front of the TV, staring intently at a kitten chasing a string. Every time the kitten meowed, she’d cock her head and prick her ears up.

  “She would probably eat a kitten. ”

  “Oh, she would not. Mattie would never hurt anything, would you, girl?” His voice got higher when he talked to her, and she glanced back at him and thumped her tail on the floor. “See? Harmless. ”

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  “That’s hardly an assertion,” I laughed. “But still, that’s not a reason to get a cat. You don’t get cats so your dog has something to play with and possibly snack on. ”

  “Sounds like a good enough reason to me. ”

  When I came home, I hadn’t noticed anybody’s heartbeats. I was well-fed and less inclined to it. But I was naturally tuned into Jack’s and Milo’s. Even if I wasn??
?t paying attention, when they were distressed, I’d pick up on it.

  Upstairs, I suddenly heard Milo’s heartbeat racing in a panic. I think it had already been beating fast, but it hadn’t been terrified. And on top of that, I could smell blood. I pushed off of Jack’s lap, but he got up, so he noticed it too.

  Before I could do anything else, Milo started screaming.

  “Help! Oh my god, help!” Milo yelled at the top of his lungs, and I raced up the steps. Jack flew past me because he was faster, and Ezra and Mae weren’t that far behind.

  When I reached the top of the stairs, Peter and Jack had already zoomed into Milo’s room, but Milo still stood in the hallway. He was shirtless, and all the color had drained from him. His eyes were wide and horrified, and tears already slid down his face.

  His cheeks were flushed unnaturally red, contrasting even more with the white of his skin. Fresh blood stained his lips, and a few splatters of it were on his bare chest, most of it smeared. He just stared at his bedroom, until Ezra pushed past me to get to his room, and then Milo turned to look at me.

  “I killed Bobby. ”

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  Milo looked like he might faint after his confession, and I ran over to him. Mae stood behind me, not moving. I wrapped my arms around my brother and stole a glimpse inside his room.

  Everyone blocked the view, but Bobby was definitely immobile on the bed. Peter knelt next to him, and Ezra bent over Bobby. Jack stood in the doorway, his arms crossed.

  “Everything’s gonna be okay,” I lied. He cried silent tears, and he was in shock.

  “I need AB positive!” Ezra shouted.

  “AB positive?” Jack repeated.

  “Yes! Now!” Ezra barked. Jack rushed past me and leapt down the stairs. “Where’s Mae? I need the IV!”

  “I’m right here, and I’ll get the kit!” Mae sprang to life and darted down the stairs.

  “He’s alive?” I asked.

  “Get Milo downstairs!” Peter growled, glaring at me.

  I  listened for the sound of Bobby’s heart, but over the frantic beating of Milo’s and my own, it was impossible to hear. That didn’t mean anything, though. If he’d lost a lot of blood, his heartbeat would be really faint, probably too faint to hear over all the noise.

  “Alice!” Jack shouted as he came barreling back up the stairs. “Get Milo out of here! He doesn’t need to see this, okay?”

  Using all my strength, I pulled Milo away from his room. I had no idea where I would take him, but away was as much as I planned. By the time we made it to the stairs, Mae was already bounding back up them.

  “Everything will be okay, love,” Mae promised with a sad smile, but Milo didn’t even notice. After his initial screaming, he’d gone catatonic.

  Milo needed to be someplace where he couldn’t hear everything, and he needed to get cleaned up. So I took him into the main bathroom downstairs, and I turned on the sink to drown out all the other sounds. Putting the lid down on the toilet seat, I forced Milo to sit down. I got a washcloth wet to start wiping off his chest and mouth.

  “Did I really kill him, Alice?” Milo asked, staring off into nothing.

  “They’re working on him. ” I evaded answering him. “They saved my life like that before, too. Ezra is really good at giving blood transfusions, apparently. ”

  “I didn’t even…” He trailed off, and I stopped wiping at his chest to look at him. “We were fooling around, the same way we had been, and then… I bit him. And I didn’t even realize how much…. I didn’t know his heart stopped. ”

  “You didn’t mean to. ” That was the best I could come up with.

  “The thing is…” Milo became more animated, and his tears got heavier and louder. “I know that he isn’t ‘the one’ or whatever, not like what Peter was to you. But I love him, you know? I really do love him. ”

  “I know, sweetie. It’s gonna be okay. ” I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him.

  He was sobbing by then, and I just kept telling him it would be okay. I had no idea if that was the truth, but that was the only thing I could say.

  We stayed down in the bathroom for what felt like forever. I folded up towels and laid them on the floor, and I sat down with my back up against the tub. Milo lay down next to me and rested his head on my lap. All I could do was brush his hair back with my fingers, and eventually, he even stopped crying.

  When Jack opened the bathroom door, Milo jumped to his feet. I was too scared to move, as if me standing up would have an impact on whether Bobby lived or died.

  “He’s alive,” Jack said, but he wasn’t smiling. Milo almost fainted in relief, and he grasped onto the counter to keep from falling. I got up to catch him if he needed it. “But he lost a lot of blood. He’s not exactly stable yet. ”

  “Can I see him?” Milo asked and wiped at his eyes.

  “Yeah, Ezra’s up there, and he’ll probably wanna talk to you too. ” Jack touched Milo’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, but Milo just sniffled and hurried past him.

  “So… how is Bobby?” I walked over to Jack.

  “Not good,” he said grimly. “He really almost didn’t make it. I mean, Milo drained that kid dry. It was bad. ” Then he forced a smile at me. “But his heart’s beating, and that’s something. ”

  He wrapped his arms around me, and I buried my face in his chest, surprised to find myself crying. Milo would never hurt anyone, and he really loved Bobby. It was terrifying to think that Bobby might die, and it’d be because they were in love and careless.

  It scared me even more when I thought about my relationship with Jack, and how I almost lost control with Peter. Milo was way more in control of himself than me, and he nearly killed Bobby.

  What would I do to Jack? Even with him being a vampire, I could find myself in the same situation, and that was too much.

  Worse still, Jane was still out there, doing that kind of thing all the time with strangers. Most of the vampires she picked up were probably more experienced than Milo and me, but maybe they weren’t. She had no way of knowing. And either way, they were still draining her of her blood, over and over again.

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  Accidentally or on purpose, the odds of her dying were getting exponentially higher ever day that passed. I couldn’t let her do it anymore. As soon as things were settled with Milo and Bobby, I was taking Milo to the club, and we were taking her away. I don’t care if we had to kidnap her; I wasn’t going to just let her die.

  The house was incredibly subdued. Mae didn’t tend to Bobby. Immediately after he was stable, she returned to her room. Ezra stationed himself in Milo’s room to monitor Bobby, but Jack later confided in me that Ezra had been crashing in the den with him the last few nights. Mae has all but kicked him out of their room.

  Milo didn’t feel right being around Bobby, and he was positive that Bobby would hate him when he woke up. I couldn’t convince him otherwise, but he wanted to bunk with me, and really, I didn’t mind.

  Milo cried in his sleep, but I didn’t say anything. After what he’d been through, I didn’t blame him. I don’t know what I would do if I did anything to Jack, and then I pushed the thought from my mind.

  I would never do anything to him, even if that meant I had to wait months and years to do things with him. Or maybe never do anything with him. I wasn’t going to hurt him, not like that.

  Not like that. I had to amend everything with that now, because I was clearly okay with hurting him other ways, as seen by me making out with Peter.

  That situation didn’t want to resolve itself quite so easily either. When I got up in the morning, I bumped into Peter in the hall. There was this awkward exchange where neither of us knew what to say and just kind of stared at each other.

  It was almost a full day after the transfusion that Bobby started to really come around. He’d had some hazy conversations before that, but he hadn’t been lucid. Milo was to
o afraid to go in and talk to him, even after Bobby had started asking for him.

  I even went in to talk to him, and Bobby repeatedly assured me that he didn’t blame Milo for what happened, and he still loved him. He was pale and tired, but otherwise, he seemed okay.

  Milo’s plan was to hide away from Bobby, so he went down into Mae’s room with her. Mae was abnormally useless in the situation. Jack and I ended up getting Bobby food and clothes and doing all the maternal/nurse things that Mae usually did, leaving him to survive entirely on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and Campbell’s soup.

  He mostly slept at first, so I let it slide, but I wasn’t going to let Milo just hide while I took care of his boyfriend. I gave Milo another night to sleep on it, but the next day I would make him see Bobby.

  When I went to fetch Milo from Mae’s room, I brought along Jack with me. Milo was still pretty fond of Jack, and I thought he might listen to him, even if he wouldn’t listen to me. Stupidly, I thought Mae would encourage Milo to get up and deal with Bobby, but that wasn’t how new sulky Mae rolled. They were curled up in the dark, listening to Norah Jones.

  I flicked on the bedroom light, even though I didn’t really need it to see anything. I just felt like they needed a flash of something to wake them up. They both squinted at me and groaned, and Milo buried himself deeper in the blankets and pillows. “Milo, come on,” I said. “Bobby wants to see you. ”

  “He does not!” Milo pulled the blanket entirely over his head, so his protests came out muffled.

  “I’m sure he does, love,” Mae sounded almost like her normal self. I don’t know if it was our presence or the light, but it momentarily snapped her out of her funk. She scooted a bit closer to Milo and pushed back his blanket. “He loves you, and you know he does. ”

  “I can’t see him!” Milo said, fighting back tears. “Not ever!”

  “I know it seems major, but it’s really not as bad as you think. ” Jack sat at the down at the end of the bed to coax Milo out. “I mean, it would be major for normal people, but he understood what he was getting into when he got involved with a vampire. ”

  “Well, maybe I didn’t!” Milo whined, and he almost never did. Mae pushed back his hair from his forehead, and he rubbed at his eyes with the palm of his hand. “I don’t know how I can ever face him again. ”

  “Just face him the same way you did before,” I shrugged. “You haven’t seen him, but if you had, you’d understand. He really doesn’t hold anything against you. ”

  “But he should!” Milo pulled himself out from underneath the covers a bit more, but he just stared up at the ceiling. “I nearly killed him. He should hate me. Something should happen. There should be repercussions for my actions. ”

  “You don’t think there are?” I asked. “Look at you!”

  “It’s not enough,” Milo said. “I mean, I’m a monster! I should be locked up and kept away from people forever!”