*
Ken unhooded the viewport, leaving covered only that section whichblocked a tiny blinding sun. They stared into an utter, absolute ebonythat suddenly seemed to be straining against the thick canopy, mockingthe dim lights of the compartment. For many hours now, nothing to do butwait and watch, make occasional control corrections.
He caused the couch to relax, offered Carol a water sausage. They hadeaten nothing, and drunk but sparingly, since twenty-four hours beforetake-off. Her hand touched his as she took the container. It was like anelectric shock, and his heart thudded. Deliberately, he brushed hisfingers over hers, clasped her wrist, looking at her.
She became motionless. Then she looked up at him, lingeringly. Her lipsparted.
The pressure within him mounted. Almost reverently he reached forher--then stopped when tears formed in her eyes. He drew back,uncomprehending. Could desire be coupled with sorrow? Or was he merelyreading desire into some emotion not remotely connected with passion?She had been given to him without reservation, but he could not bringhimself to take her unwillingly. The difference, he realized, betweenlove and lust--damn the psychologists. He let out his breath, fumbled ina small plastic box near the controls, dug out several nutriment bars.He handed a couple to Carol without looking at her and munched unhappilyat the chocolate-flavored ration.
They watched the blackness of space for hours. The stars appeared asbright glowing blobs sunk dismally far into the heavy depths of someStygian jelly. It was a time to be savoring the first experience of manbeyond his mortal sphere, but Ken stared unseeingly, his mind dulled,vacant with indecision and disillusion that was almost a physical hurt.The zest of adventure, in the midst of adventure, was throttled beforeit saw life. The sustaining dreams of training and preparation weredusty misery. Robotically, he watched the instruments, occasionally mademicroscopic adjustments. Carol's hands, close to his, infrequentlychanged camera settings.
Unexpectedly the radio sounded. Ken tuned to maximum volume, strained tohear the muted words. It was a moment before he realized they weredrawling, abnormally slow, like one of the old spring-wound phonographsrunning down. When he caught it, the message stunned him.
"_Late-comm-merr_ pers-sonn-nell. Re-turnn noww, noww, noww.Emerr-genn-cy orr-derr of the Prezz-zi-dent. _Llate-comm-merr_pers-sonn-nell...."
He listened to it twice more before silencing the radio. Turn back? Now?He looked at Carol. She returned his stare, drawing her arms up out ofthe slots and leaning on her elbows, frowning in puzzlement. Her breastswere pendent promises of--further disappointment? Were both love andlife to be reduced, in a day, to twin voids of defeat? Love was Caroland life was a successful flight around the moon.
Discipline kept his act just short of viciousness as he slapped thecontrols back to manual. Grimly he silenced the stern rockets, cut inthe bow units slowly. The flight was to have been a loop "over" themoon, almost intersecting its orbit at the precise time it swungponderously by. What possible emergency could have arisen?
* * * * *
Ken couldn't remember just when the fear had started--maybe on the wayoutward, now that he thought of it: the feeling of deep depression. Theywere in free fall, weightless, the couch adjusted to keep them floatingwithin a few inches of its confines. The brilliant, abandoned moon hadjust swung behind its big-sister world, the glaring furnace of Sol wasstill thwarted by a section of bow hood.
He felt the fear mount--little tugging fingers frantically at workwithin his chest. The blue sphere of Earth seemed to recede in the blackmuck, although he knew it was only an optical effect of space--of thevast, scornful emptiness in which the stars were but helpless,hopelessly enmeshed droplets of dross.
He shivered involuntarily. With the movement he touched the side of thecouch and rebounded against Carol.
She screamed.
He stared at her, his fear mounting swiftly through panic to abject,uncaring terror. Carol had drawn herself up into a knot, the fetalposition of infantile regression; her eyes were wide, unseeing, hermouth open in the scream that was now soundless.
Ken felt his mind brinking on madness. He continued to stare in aterrified frenzy until, from some tiny nook of sanity deep inside him,came the realization that this was Carol beside him--Carol, who was his,who needed him....
He fought. He staggered up from depths of bleak despair, aided by thatdeep-rooted male instinct which rouses raging fury at danger to hisbeloved. The innate protective impulse was heightened, strengthened bythat emotional desire which is strongest at first contact, undiluted byfamiliarity and the consequent dissolution of ideals. The prime strengthof manhood blasted in a coruscating mental flare against the forces ofdarkness and the unknown. Tenderly, he encircled her floating body withhis arms and drew her close. He soothed her as one might a baby.
Slowly her eyes came back from horrific infinity. Slowly they focused onhis. And then, comprehension returned, she pressed tightly against him,clung to him, sobbing with the remnant fear of fear remembered.
He talked to her for an hour, caressing, reassuring, until her responseswere normal beyond any doubt. Then he told her he loved her.
She raised her head from where it was burrowed against his chest."_Love_ me, Ken? Love _me_?"
He blinked in astonishment. "Of course I love you. It seems like I'vealways loved you. I tried to tell you. I--"
But she was crying again, shaking her head a little, saying, "Ken, Ken,"over and over.
This time he continued to hold her intimately close. "What's the matter?Anything wrong with love?"
"But Ken--you could have any girl in the world!"
"Me? Where'd you get that idea?"
"Why, everyone knows the story of your training, and what it was for.The swoon clubs must have sent you tons of letters!"
"I never got any."
"Censors?"
He shrugged. "Could be. I used to drive myself nuts thinking of all theguys you must be going out with. Your story was spread around just asmuch as mine."
"They picked my few escorts with care. I used to lie awake thinking ofyou running around with hundreds of girls."
Ken snorted. "The army kept me too busy. I went out with a few, but Inever loved anybody but you. Hell, I'm only nineteen, you know."
She nodded, her eyes bright with happiness. She was a year younger. Thenher words came in a flood. "I couldn't believe you'd love me. They toldme I was to go with you and do anything you said--anything. Noexplanation, but I knew what they meant and I agreed because you weredoing such a great thing for the world and--I wanted you too. But Ithought you'd just want me for the trip, and afterward you'd go back toyour other girls, and--"
He kissed her. Again. And again. Surely there never was, never could be,a greater delight embracing than in the floating, heady, free fall ofnull-G. Certainly the psychologists knew no other method of retainingsanity in the cruelly endless jet pit engulfing the stars. Which was whythey had planned it that way.
* * * * *
Well out of atmosphere he began to brake skillfully, easing the craftinto an orbital arc that would later be changed to a descending spiral.Biting into rarified air, he adjusted the hull heat distributor, cut inthe refrigeration unit, increased oxygen a trifle. He removed a smallenvelope from its taped position on a panel and opened it to read hislanding instructions. Then he looked questioningly at Carol.
"Southwest Oregon. The Oregon Caves National Monument. We're to go in ona beacon signal."
"You don't suppose they want us to show survival ability?"
"On a deal like this? No, something's haywire here. First, there's not astrip that'll take the _Latecomer_ for at least a hundred miles around,and the only road into the area twists like a snake. This baby wasn'tbuilt with a chute, either. Second, it's only about ten miles from someranches, even if there's no one at the chateau, so it wouldn't be asurvival problem." He dropped the craft's nose a few more degrees.
"Are there any more instructions?"
&n
bsp; "Must be." He unfolded the slip. "'Abandon ship immediately uponlanding. Enter bronze portal to Caves with all possible haste. Look forinscribed square beside door, with a slot at each corner. Activate dooras follows: simultaneously insert curved blade of longer knife entirelyin upper left-hand slot, and straight blade of shorter knife entirely inlower right-hand slot. Extreme emergency. Memorize and destroy theseorders.'" Carol hadn't seen the knives.
They lay in stunned silence until she gasped, "But, Ken--this means they_knew_ about the emergency before we took off!"
He nodded grimly. "We were never supposed to reach the moon." Hecrumpled the paper, thrust it into his mouth and chewed on it awhile,then slipped it into the waste disposal unit. "Well, we'll pick up thebeacon and buzz the Caves area for possibilities. There was nothing