the horizon
I am Penelope
Watching Odyssseus sail away
To the mercy of capricious gods.
Or am I Pelias, sending Jason on his quest
That will one day unseat me?
I seal the envelope, put it in the box.
Gone from sight
Beyond the call of my voice.
Reachable only through thoughts,
And dreams. And prayers.
I imagine that you are having adventures
Slaying monsters all across the world
Fighting your way back to me
Dripping with riches and wonder
Rather than devoured by Scylla's fearsome jaws.
Or impaled on an editor's spindle.
Godspeed, little poem!
Campfire(contents)
Your circle is complete
There can be no expansion
The clique is a campfire
Where souls huddle
And when a stranger approaches
You guard the flame
With suspicious eyes and mental transactions:
What is my cost, where is the benefit?
The calculations are without remorse
Algorithms show no pity
The computations deemed too complex
And the answer is no.
A line is a circle of infinite radius
and you cannot see across the diameter.
Your circle is complete
There can be no expansion.
Mood(contents)
My nights were not all I wished them to be.
Pleasant enough, but victim
Of the harsh comparison to vivid imagination.
What I had was not what I wanted.
Unsettled, unsatisfied,
I walk on the beach.
My angry stride long and quick
To dull wrath's edge with fatigue.
I walk in the water
That I might feel the sting of cold
Rather than the chill that comes from inside.
Let the ocean wash away impotent rage
Let the waves cleanse my mood
Let the water extinguish the flame
Of eager self-criticism.
I will walk until warm sun returns.
I will walk until the bitter wind dies.
I will walk until the memories recede
Of countless failures
Of poor decisions
Faulty logic
Bad judgment.
Let them pour forth from me.
And let them wash away with the tide.
Mornings at the Beach(contents)
Folly Beach Christmas, 2010(contents)
Alone, the Christmas sun embraces me
With warm arms fierce against the chill
The waves speak to me
In their susurrations.
Bid me close my eyes
To receive their prayers.
I am isolated
Yet connected to the world.
People say I should be sad
To be alone on Christmas
Yet I am celebrating a joy
Only this moment can impart.
Heliotropism(contents)
It's mornings like this
That remind me why I chose this place
Or maybe
This place chose me
The sun, bright
Gentle as a lover's touch
Warm
Like the breath of God
I forget the cold
Of all the lonely nights
And lean
Into my lover's embrace.
Spring(contents)
I wake before dawn
As I always do
And I feel as if I am the only one moving.
Tendrils of the night's chill
Still float in the morning air.
I am not the only one moving:
The birds are running their errands on the beach,
The dolphins ply their trade in the cold surf,
Just beyond the break.
And the Earth rotates
Turning once again to embrace the sun.
And while it rotates
There is also the movement of the planet
Around the source of it's light
Sometimes closer
Sometime further.
The Earth tilts toward the sun
And then away, diffident
And toward again.
And we are all a part of this motion
Even though we cannot perceive it.
We see only the evidence
As the warmth returns
All is forgiven
And we celebrate.
Sun Rising Behind Clouds(contents)
Fog crept down the beach
Fooling no one
And overhead clouds of blood and ash
Stretched away to seep into porcelain seas.
Then fingers of orange light
Thrust across the sky
Shredding the flimsy veil
And flooding the world
With soul-seeking light.
A tide of turmoil quelled
By an ocean of calm.
Whorls and Eddies (contents)
When the course of the river is vexed, the flow turns back upon itself. It forms whirlpools, energy moving only around itself, going nowhere. Or it froths as do waves at the beach when they run out of sea.
Watch the flow of the water as it goes under the pier. See how the turbulence creates its oscillation, and vacillation. Nutrients that muddy the water are dropped as it slows, and it is in these places that the fish gather, and life blooms. And beyond the water is clearer for it.
I have placed this stone here as a perturbation to your stream. I wanted to show you that there is love in the world for you, without condition, without reciprocity, without any thought of payback. I want you to forget it was me simply because I could do no other: I was merely heeding the demands of my universe. I want you to feel no obligation because the joy I felt in being able to help in such a tiny way pays any debt in full.
You do not need to carry everything with you in your dash to the sea. Let the silt drop, and the water clear.
Rejection(contents)
Sleep has rejected me again
My bed spit me out
After a night of hard chewing
My empty bed mocks me
Laughs at my failures
While waiting to be made
There is no reconciliation here
The hurt is too new
One cannot negotiate
With a fresh gaping wound
When wounds speak
The words are never kind
Wounds use words
To replicate themselves
Blood and bruises singing
Their dark harmony
Is my only voice
Sotto Voce, Sunrise
Sip the dark acid
And tuck in the sheets
The Sporting Life(contents)
Hard-Packed Sand(contents)
When you run
Run on the hard-packed sand
The receding tide has revealed it.
The ocean has pounded it smooth for you.
It is firm against the footfalls.
The softer sand has too much give
No traction
All struggle for no gain
The pavement is too hard
It punishes the body
Pounding knees and ankles
No, run instead
On the hard-packed sand
Later
You will remember that
You have trained for years
To run on the pavement
Your shoes disperse the shocks
And you know when they will come
With steady tempo
There are wonderful views
running on the beach
Drenched in sunlight
The waves,
The salt air,
The breeze at your back
But when you reach the end of the sand
You must turn around
And run into the stiff ocean wind
There is no shade
And you wilt
In the harsh light
When you run
On the hard-packed sand
Watch for the tidal pools
Keep your shoes dry
and avoid mud squishing in sodden socks
Better still,
Run barefoot
Feet slapping on wet sand
It's better for you
Natural
You've seen the studies
Video of disembodied feet
Marching endlessly on the treadmill
You were made to run barefoot
Afterwords
When the sweat and the tears
Have mixed with the salt air
And lay thick on your face
When you can't tell
Where the brine ends
and the sea begins
When you bandage your feet
Bloody from thousands of tiny sharp shells
Blistered from unfamiliar contact
With abrasive sand
You know you won't be running again soon
The pain will be too great
You'll decide next time
To wear your shoes
To protect yourself
And you will question
Whether to return to familiar pavement
Rather than continue
On hard-packed sand.
Advice for New Runners(contents)
Breathing is the essence of running. The mistake most new runners make is breathing too fast. When the oxygen gets short, they breathe faster, and faster, getting less air each time, until they hyperventilate.
The key, instead, when those panicky gasps begin, is to exhale long and slow. Let the breath be your meter, meditate on it.
Breathe in. Hold. Out out out. Pranayama.
Do not clench your fists. That may give you the illusion of strength, but remember that it takes energy to make a fist, and your prana is better spent on driving your legs forward.
Relax your shoulders. Let your arms swing freely. They will pump for extra momentum: your body will know when that is needed.
When you encounter a fellow runner, acknowledge them with a quick wave or brief nod of the head. Recognize their effort and they will reflect yours. You will find yourself lighter for the shared burden.
Lift your feet as you run. Anytime you hear that “scuff” that is your foot sliding across the ground. It is the sound of braking. Remember this too, when you run downhill. There is a tendency to lean back, put your feet out to take the impact. Rather, float over your feet, and with long strides let gravity take you downhill.
Do not forget your breath: In. Hold. Out out out. Pranayama.
Remember to run at your pace. Do not go out too fast. Do not compare yourself to another runner. That person that just passed you may be only going a mile to your five. Perhaps he just started, and is fresh and overzealous, and when he gets to mile five, if he can, he will be slower than you are. Because you do not know the distance they have gone, it is pointless to measure yourself against them.
If you are running in a crowded place, people will notice you. You are in motion, and motion attracts attention. Accept it, enjoy it, but do not let that become the reason you run.
In. Hold. Out out out.