“I’m running some tests,” I tell her and she grins.
“Is that what we’re calling it?” she asks. “Next time, put me on the schedule.”
I glare at her and speed off when she opens the gate.
When we get in the building, Folsom waits in my office while I see who is on the night shift in dome five. As far as I can tell, only the guard and one nurse are attending. They’re used to seeing me in here every night now. I’ve taken Laticus outside once during the day, and at night I have permission to walk with him around the inside of the building, as long as I never leave him alone.
He perks up when I come in the room. “I didn’t think you were coming tonight...”
I smile and close the door behind me. “Let’s take a walk.”
He lifts an eyebrow. “You up for walking in those shoes? You look nice,” he adds.
“Well, you certainly have the charm down.” I nod toward the door. “Let’s go.”
“What’s your hurry?” He smirks and each time I’m hit with how much he looks like Folsom.
“Thought you were sick of this place.” I shrug.
I open the door and he runs and jumps, tapping the top of the doorjamb with his hand. The guard nods at us, and Laticus starts down the path we’ve gone the last few nights.
“Let’s go this way tonight,” I tell him, turning in the other direction.
He does an about-face, exaggerating his turn, and I laugh. Folsom and Laticus have become the closest thing I have to friends. I sober up, reminding myself that my time with both of them is limited. Maybe even shorter than I expected if we’re listening to Kasper…which might be the real reason I didn’t tell Folsom as soon as Kasper left, if I’m honest with myself.
We get near my office and I put my hand on Laticus’ arm. “I don’t want you to be alarmed. Folsom is in there,” I tell him quietly.
His eyes widen and he barely nods, acknowledging he heard me.
When I open the door, Folsom is standing in the corner on full alert. Laticus walks inside and I take one last look around before pulling the door closed.
“You’re looking well,” Folsom says, giving Laticus a faint close-lipped smile.
“You too,” Laticus says. They stare at each other for a moment before Folsom’s gaze becomes serious.
He looks at me and his eyes soften before turning back to Laticus. “The Governor of the Red Region has announced that you’re here. When word makes its way to your home, the Black will uprise, retaliate,” he says.
I clench my teeth together and lean against the wall, stepping out of my heels.
“We need to get you out of here, out of the Red Region…out of the country,” he tells Laticus and the room goes still. “Kasper will be helping us. You don’t know me well enough to trust me yet, but I’m asking you to anyway. Can you do that?”
The boy nods. Folsom steps closer to Laticus and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Do you understand?”
Laticus nods solemnly. “I understand.”
“Swear it.”
“I swear,” Laticus answers.
They clutch hands.
“We have to get back to the party,” Folsom says, stepping back. “Don’t forget, Gwen and Kasper…anyone else is probably working for the governor. That includes your new friend—” He looks at me.
“Charity,” I finish.
Laticus’ face pales and his Adam’s apple bobs up and down. “Right,” he says.
My heart hurts for him. I put my hand on his back. “I’ll walk you back.”
When we get back to the Villanova property, women are milling out on the front lawn, most likely searching for Folsom. I let him off a little further down than where my car was parked and he goes back the way of the lake. I park and walk barefoot to the house, hearing whispers wondering where Folsom is, and someone calling out that they see him. The crowd rushes to that voice and laughter rings out; it was a prank to see how fast the ladies would move. I go inside and Sophia is the first one I see. I groan.
“Where is he?” she says, face flushed.
“He’s outside.” I shrug like he’s been out there all along.
She gets in my face, towering over me. “You’ve had your chance, now let the rest of us enjoy him. Why can’t it be enough for you that you’re having the boy of the Red Region? You’re the most selfish person I know.”
“Now that I know what I know, a boy is the last thing I’d wish on a mother,” I tell her, opening the door and walking back out.
Folsom comes around the front of the house, surrounded by a flock of women. He makes eye contact with me, and Sophia huffs beside me. The smile suddenly freezes on his face as he looks at me. I blink at him, wondering what in the world is going on. The women who surround him turn to follow his gaze, their eyes landing on me. And then one of them starts to scream.
“Call an ambulance! Call an ambulance.”
I shake my head, confused. Folsom looks down at my skirt and I do the same, my eyes growing large. My skirt has twisted around—the back of it now almost all of the way to the front—and there is a small stain of blood seeping through the pale pink silk. I reach down to touch it and my fingers come away wet. When I look up, he’s walking briskly toward me across the grass, as people pour out of the house to see what the commotion is about. Then Folsom is in front of me; he’s the only one. He scoops me up just as I hear the wail of the siren. I look over his shoulder to where my sister is still standing. The look on her face can only be described as hopeful.
TWENTY-ONE
FOLSOM
They take her from my arms and close the ambulance doors in my face. It all happens so quickly, me handing Gwen to the medic, the panic in her eyes. I want to go with her, but they shake their heads, one of them pushing me down when I try to climb in. As they’re driving away, lights flashing, her mother runs toward me, holding her dress above her ankles.
“Did they take her? Is she all right?” Diana’s hands reach out to me frantically.
I squeeze her hand. “Do you have a car?”
She nods, her eyes filling with tears.
“Let’s go.”
She leads me briskly toward the side of the house where Governor Petite’s driver has parked the car. The driver is nowhere to be seen.
“I should tell Pandora,” she says, looking around.
“Fuck Pandora,” I say, getting in the driver’s seat. She nods like it’s decided and climbs into the passenger’s seat.
Diana directs me to the hospital, bracing herself against the dashboard as I disregard every traffic law in the Red Region. We park the car and run toward the emergency room doors. Had Sophia really been smiling when I picked Gwen up and carried her to the ambulance? I can’t wipe the image from my head. My God, what is wrong with these women?
“Gwen Allison.” Her mother says when we walk up to the desk. “They should have brought her in a few minutes ago. She was…is pregnant.” She wrings her hands while she waits.
“She hasn’t been brought here,” the nurse says. “We’d know Miss Allison if we saw her.”
“They must have taken her to the Genome Y lab,” I say to Diana.
We run for the car. My Silverbook has not stopped buzzing since we left the party and it occurs to me that it could be Gwen. I switch off the idle mode before we turn out of the parking lot and glance at the screen.
“Gwen?” I say when we connect.
Gwen’s voice fills the car and Diana lets out a cry.
“Folsom, are you with my mom?”
I glance at Diana. “Yeah, she’s right next to me. We’re on our way to you now.”
“They have me at Genome Y…”
“We know. Are you okay?”
“I haven’t seen the doctor yet, just got here. I’m worried.” Tears fill her voice and Diana whimpers.
“We’ll be right there, Gwen. We’re coming.”
I fight with the guard at the gate for ten minutes before Gwen calls Corinne and she lets us through.
/>
“And here I was thinking you got special treatment by being a man,” Diana says half-jokingly.
Corinne greets us and leads us upstairs, a somber expression on her face. She won’t tell us anything when Diana presses her.
When we walk into Gwen’s room, she’s sitting up in bed, her hair piled on top of her head. She is more beautiful in a dull grey hospital gown with mascara streaking her cheeks than I’ve ever seen her look. Diana goes to her side and I stand back to let mother and daughter comfort each other while a sick dread hits my belly.
Doctor Hunley rushes in and barely pauses when she sees me in the room. “Folsom,” she acknowledges, her gaze immediately shifting to Gwen. “Josie will be here any minute to do your ultrasound. I’ll feel better taking a look, won’t you?”
She barely gets the words out when there’s a rap at the door and the technician rolls the machine into the room. She puts a blanket over the lower half of Gwen’s body and lifts the gown up to expose Gwen’s stomach.
She glances at me then and back to Gwen. “Would you rather do this privately?”
“I want him here,” she says, stretching her hand out to me.
I take her hand and grip it, looking into her eyes rather than watching them prepare. Josie tells her when she’s about to insert the device and we turn to the screen. She reminds us that it’s early and we might not see much yet. I don’t understand anything I’m seeing at first, but then Josie points out the gestational sac and the yolk sac and zooms in on it and I’m fascinated.
Everyone gasps when a consistent pulse is seen.
“Is that—?” I ask.
“That’s the baby’s heartbeat. We’re definitely seeing cardiac motion,” Josie confirms. “It will get even faster later, but this is completely normal for right now.”
“I can’t believe it,” Gwen whispers.
Josie looks at the doctor and smiles then warns Gwen she’s about to remove the wand. I carefully place Gwen’s hand on her chest and back away, suddenly feeling out of place.
“Your baby looks fine,” Doctor Hunley speaks up. “And it’s normal to have some spotting throughout pregnancy, especially in the first trimester. We’ll keep a close eye on you, though. Take frequent breaks, put your feet up, and drink lots of water. We won’t give you any long-term restrictions now that we see how healthy everything is looking. Just pay attention to your body.” She pats Gwen’s shoulder and smiles at each of us before leaving the room.
“The baby is okay,” Gwen says finally, looking past her mother to me. “It was just a scare.”
Gwen and Diana start to cry, while I stand rooted to the spot, not knowing what to do. I’m not sure what I’m allowed to feel. Gwen is not mine, and the boy she’s carrying will never belong to me, and yet I am relieved, so relieved that I want to hold her and touch her belly.
“Folsom,” Gwen says. I stand to attention. “Come here.”
I do as I’m told, my limbs rigid. I even remind myself of a robot. Diana excuses herself quickly to find a restroom and it’s just Gwen and me in the room. She pats the edge of the bed and I sit. Grabbing my shirt in her fists, she pulls me to her and loops an arm around my neck. She holds my face against hers, our foreheads touching. I sit very still and try to memorize this feeling. No words, just touch expressing words. I wrap my arms around her slight frame and hold her tight.
“You can be like this with me,” she says. “You don’t have to be an End Man when we’re together. Because no matter how many women you’re with, or where they send you, I will always be right here belonging to you. I promise.”
I pull away from her so I can see her expression.
“Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”
“Gwen…”
“—It’s okay,” she rushes. “You don’t have to say anything. I’m happy to have you…as a friend.”
“Friends don’t fuck.”
“Says who?” She grins.
I lean my forehead against hers and close my eyes.
“I can’t say the things I want to,” I tell her softly. “If I say them, they mean more. And nothing can mean anything. Not in my life.”
She nods against my forehead like she understands. But how could she?
“I’m afraid visiting hours are over,” Doctor Hunley says, walking into the room. “We’re going to keep her overnight just so we can monitor the baby and you can pick her up tomorrow if you like, Folsom…”
“Right. Perfect,” I say, standing up.
Diana inches back into the room to say goodbye to Gwen as Doctor Hunley hands me a clearance badge to get through the gate.
“Folsom has appointments. It’ll be my mother who picks me up,” Gwen tells the doctor.
“No. I’ll come.” All three sets of eyes turn to look at me.
“Are you sure? How will you—?” Gwen is shaking her head.
“I’m sure. I’ll be here in the morning.”
Diana informs me that Petite got a ride home after we stole her car, so I drive her back to the Governor’s Mansion and arrange for Sera to pick me up there.
“How mad is she?” I ask.
“I don’t really care, to be honest, Folsom.” She sighs. “A parent never puts anything before their child. Pandora never had any, she doesn’t understand.”
“I have over two hundred children,” I say.
She smiles sadly. “Yes, and you’re creating a better world for them every day. A way for them to survive.” Before she gets out of the car she grabs my hand and squeezes it. “Thank you for tonight. For being there for Gwen.” She’s about to say more, but the front door of the house opens and Petite’s frame fills the doorway.
“That’s our cue,” I say to her.
We both climb out, and I raise a hand to the governor before making my way over to my own car. When I turn back, she has her arm around Diana’s shoulders and is leading her inside.
Robin is waiting in my apartment an hour later when I walk through the door.
“I’m tired,” I say when I see the look on her face.
“You’ve had a very busy night,” she agrees. “The Genome Y lab twice in one evening, I see.”
I look at her out of the corner of my eye. “You’re tracking me?” I pull off my jacket and toss it on the back of a chair. Of course they would send Robin after me. She works for them not me, I remind myself.
“Well, when you disappear from your scheduled obligations, I’d say yes, it’s my job to keep track of where you are.”
“Speaking of those obligations, cancel my appointments tomorrow morning. I’ll have to make them up some other time.” I ease the buttons of my shirt out of their eyeholes.
“You know I can’t do that,” Robin says.
“I’m telling you to do it.”
“And what am I supposed to tell the Society when they ask?”
“Tell them whatever you like. It doesn’t matter to me.”
I start walking toward the bedroom, but Robin calls after me. “You’re playing with fire, Folsom. You have no idea what these people are willing to do to maintain control.”
Her words lift the hairs on the back of my neck. I know exactly what they are willing to do. I’ve never wanted control. I gave it up years ago for the greater good. It wasn’t until Gwen that the constraints I’ve lived with for so many years started to chaff. And why Gwen? Women have passed through my life; a running tap of names, and faces, and pussies, and no one—not one—has ever stood out. But I knew. The moment I saw her, I knew. A feeling, a draw, the smallest spark of kindling.
I want her. Oh my God, I want her.
TWENTY-TWO
GWEN
Folsom arrives bright and early the next morning smelling of fresh air and coffee. I’m not even dressed, and he looks like he stepped out of The End Men calendar, which I’m ashamed to say I own. He’s carrying two cups: a smoothie for me and a coffee for him. There’s a strange look in his eyes, and I wish I knew him well enough to know what it means.
“This is a nice change of pace,” I say, as he hands me the cup. “What flavor did you get me?”
“I took you for a berry person.” His step falters, like now he’s not sure. I can’t help it, I can’t. He’s always so serious that I have to take a shot.
“I’m allergic to berries,” I pout and his face looks so crestfallen I burst into laughter. “Just kidding. I love berries.” I take a sip to prove it to him. “You’re the best man I know,” I tell him, slipping my legs over the side of the bed and standing up.
“I’m the only man you know.”
“Not true. Laticus counts, right? And I know Jackal and Kasper—I have nothing good to say about Kasper.”
Folsom frowns. I watch his expression carefully, wishing he’d say more about his relationship with Kasper. They are about as different as two men can be: Folsom, dark-haired and light-eyed, and Kasper, light-haired and dark-eyed. Kasper’s words are spoken with the intention of cutting, disguised beneath his charisma, while Folsom’s words are careful…deliberate, even considerate.
They don’t like each other, that is easy to see.
I untie my hospital gown and let it drop to the floor. I’m naked underneath, having removed my panties just before he came in. It was my game plan to tease him, but now that his eyes are on me, warming my skin, I feel as if I’ve lost control. I fumble with the clothes Corinne brought me, dropping the pants and then putting the shirt on backward, the heat of his eyes making me nervous.
Folsom never once looks away, and I want to snort with laughter at my attempt to be sexy.
When I’m dressed, I go over to him. He grabs my hand and places it on his dick to show me he’s hard.
I kiss him softly and he cups my behind, pulling me into him.
“We’re not allowed.” I breathe into his mouth. “We’re both broken.”
He laughs and I lean my head against his chest to feel the rumble. And then he does something that really surprises me. He puts a hand against my stomach, holding his palm there.
“That’s your son,” I say, tilting my head back to look at him. “Not the Region’s, not the people’s. Yours and mine.”