Silence filled the line. "Glorilyn, are you still there?"
A sniffle met his ear. "Yes." Her voice caught. "I can't tell you what this means to me. Praise God." She took in a breath. "Is that why you and Betty Ann broke up?"
"In a way, yes. We need to get together. There's so much I want to say."
"I'd like that. Did you know I'm living in the dorm?"
His sister, a college woman already. Life never seemed to stay the same. But as long as the changes led them closer to the Lord, it'd be okay. "That's great."
"Yes and no." She paused again. "Mom and Dad don't know about my faith in Jesus yet. Pray for me, please."
The first time anyone had ever asked him to pray since he'd met the Savior. His pulse tapped a rapid beat. "I'd like nothing better."
"But, I'm afraid to tell them. You know how Dad is."
"You can say that again. I've got a long story for you—my encounter with Dad when I told him about the change in my life." He didn't want to worry Glorilyn but at the same time, she needed to be prepared for Dad's reaction. "God will provide a way."
"JD, I saw Joella last summer." Glorilyn sighed. "She still loves you. Do you realize that?"
*****
Saturday morning. Though JD should enjoy time off, he'd also have a day to think—when his mind wasn't on work. All week he'd lost himself in balancing ledger sheets, analyzing financial statements, and preparing tax returns. No time to think about Joella. Maybe he should use his pass key and go back to the office.
He brushed his teeth, not bothering to shave. His restless nerves didn't allow it. A comb tamed his sleep-tousled hair. Where was his life heading? His mind tumbled like a clothes dryer.
Maybe a hundred-mile jog would lessen the tension building in his gut. He knew what he'd do. Back in his bedroom he threw on running clothes.
The truck keys lay on the coffee table alongside the Book of Wisdom. He picked them up and considered the passages he used to read every morning … the publication he'd believed represented the plan for his life.
Instead of the old worn volume, he grabbed the small Bible from the nightstand, the one Dave gave him. He turned to a verse he'd scrawled on the front page from Philippians 4:7. "And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." What a promise. God's offer of peace would sustain him today.
He slipped the little Bible into his shorts pocket, and marched out the door. A long hard jog would do him good. Maybe tire him so he couldn't think anymore.
The downtown streets were less busy on Saturday. He drove out of the built-up area south toward NCU. The west parking lot by the stadium wasn't crowded. When he got out of the truck, he shoved the keys in his pocket next to the Bible.
The path paralleling the Big Camino was only a few yards away. How hard would he have to run to get rid of the tightness in his gut? After a good leg stretch, he jogged east down the path. With every yard, his feet moved faster. Hamilton Hall appeared on his right, then the section where the path hugged the creek's bend next to an old elm tree. He panted for air and wiped sweat off his forehead. If he ran fast enough, he'd leave his burdens behind.
*****
Run, run, now, as fast and as hard as you can. Joella's mind screamed at her. She locked her car in the east parking lot and stuck her keys in her fanny pack. September 15 had come and gone. JD was married to another woman. If she could've stopped time that day, she would've. Now he was lost to her forever. Her emotions tied her in a tight coil.
Her feet propelled her along the path parallel to Big Camino Creek. She ran harder and faster, her aching heart spurring her on. The bend in the path, the place where she'd run over JD all those months ago, lay ahead. Her vision blurred as tears flooded her eyes.
*****
The blow came without warning. A jogger blindsided him. JD wobbled and stumbled a few steps until he caught his balance, then reached out to steady the other person careening off the path toward the creek.
*****
The muffled thud sounded first, followed by the sting of impact on Joella's left shoulder. She lost control of her feet. They carried her against her will toward the creek. Two more steps and her legs would've met cool runoff from the Sierra Nogales. Someone reached out and pulled her back. Her eyes widened as shock stole her breath. JD stood only inches away flushed and panting.
"There's something … about … this spot. We keep colliding here." The moment the words left her mouth, she realized how stupid they sounded. Her already overheated face spiked a few more degrees even as her heart broke a little more.
Beads of sweat dotted JD’s forehead and trickled down his face and neck. He breathed hard through his open mouth. A day’s growth of whiskers suited him. Made his already handsome face even more masculine.
Much as she wanted to deny it, Joella knew in that moment she still loved this man. Would probably always love him. But he'd never be hers.
She stepped away, needing distance. Why was he here? Now? "JD, aren't you supposed to be on your wedding trip? Did you cut it short?" She drew a hand to her throat wanting to take back the words.
His steadying fingers hadn't moved from her arm. "I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? Are you okay?"
Hurt her? He'd stolen her heart, refused to return it, and transformed her life into one bleak existence. Other than that … She took another step back forcing him to release her.
"Yeah, no harm done. I'm … I'm just surprised you'd go jogging this morning. You must have a million things to do getting your new home set up. If I were the bride, I'd want my husband at home helping." Joella squeezed her eyes shut a moment. If I were the bride? He'd reduced her to a babbling idiot.
JD squared his jaw. "Can we sit down on the bench over there?"
Joella looked in the direction his finger pointed. No way she'd talk to him. He was married to another woman. "Uh, I don't think so. First of all, it would serve no purpose. And second, you're a jerk for even considering such a thing. Excuse me. I need to leave." Joella turned away and started jogged back to the parking lot.
"Joella, please. Just listen for one minute."
His pleading tone found the crack in her flimsy armor.
"Please."
She wheeled around. "Why should I?"
He held out open palms. "I didn't get married."
His words rocked her world. Had she heard him correctly? Did she believe him? "Why not? Did your fiancée dump you?" The raucous cry of a Blue Jay overhead resonated in her heart. Did she sound like that? A woman scorned? Unforgiving?
JD's shoulders curled over his chest. He hung his head and moaned. "I won't bother you again after today, but I need to explain. Please just give me that."
For months she'd ached, believing the man she loved would belong to another. And why? Because he chose his religion over her. Joella wanted him to hurt—like he'd hurt her. Let him know what it felt like. She knocked the sweat off her forehead, breathing hard. He deserved to suffer.
He held open palms to her. She barely heard his whispered words. "Please, Joella."
A sob became trapped in her throat, and she gripped her elbows. Jesus never refused to listen to her when she cried out to Him. Though JD's rejection still stung, she could at least hear him out.
The bench sat next to the old elm near where they'd first met. She folded her arms over her chest, walked back, and dropped down on the seat.
With his eyes fixed on the grass, JD perched on the edge of the bench beside her. The creek drew his attention a moment, but then he raised his face and met her glare. Was that moisture in his eyes? So much emotion.
"A lot has happened since that night at Smith Point. Do you remember what I said before we parted?"
How could she not? His words were engraved on her very soul. "You said no matter what happens, you'd always love and remember me." She whispered the words she'd treasured in her heart since that day. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
"The
y're still true." His breathless utterance floated off on the breeze behind hers.
She stuffed her hands in her pocket and gritted her teeth. Could she trust him? Maybe she was second choice now after his breakup with his fiancée. Maybe he would inflict more hurt on her already damaged heart. "Your girlfriend dumped you, and you think you can come running back to me?" But mostly, the fact remained, they didn't have a future. He still embraced EB.
He swiped a hand over his mouth. "Joella, please just hear me out."
The Little Camino gurgled as the current danced and frolicked over small stones. Did she owe him that much? "All right."
"You're correct. She dumped me, but I'm sure you won't believe me when I tell you, if she hadn't, I'd planned to tell her I couldn't marry her."
"You're right. I don't believe you. And I won't sit here any longer and listen to the tawdry details of your love life." She swiped at her eyes, brushing away the first tears to slip free, praying she wouldn't break down in front of him.
"Joella…" He touched her cheek, his thumb rubbing away another tear.
Her hand seemed to lift of its own volition, her open palm slapping his face. Horror at her actions didn't stop the words that spilled out. "Don't touch me, JD. You gave up that right when you proposed to another woman. I don't want to ever see you again."
He rubbed his cheek, letting out a slow breath like a deflating balloon. "I deserve anything you say or do to me, but I'm begging you, please let me explain why I would've walked away if she hadn't."
That stopped her. JD wasn't a shallow person. Arms crossed over her chest, chin lifted high, she confronted him. "Why?"
He stood and looked her square in her eyes. "Joella, for years I tried to get right with God. I believed I was a good person who'd never done anything really bad—like murdering someone or stealing. If I could work hard enough, I could get into heaven." He clutched his stomach. "Besides that, my religion told me I could achieve godhood and rule over my own planet in the next life." He shook his head. "But I never faced the truth. All along—somewhere inside me—I longed for Someone greater than I. I didn't want to be a god but needed a loving Father who cared about me. Not one who demanded that I balance my standing before him on a scale. I found that God, Joella. Jesus Christ." He swallowed hard.
Joella's arms dropped apart, one hand rising to her throat. How did it happen? Was it possible? Surely JD would never lie about something important to him. "You mean …"
"Yes. I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ and accepted His free gift of salvation."
Shocked and speechless she stared at JD as he told her about his dream and the Seventh Street Mission House. "The messages I heard—at the sunrise service and from Dave. Everything began to make sense." He clasped his hands under his chin. "I couldn't do anything to be good enough. Only until Jesus forgave my wrongs could I be acceptable to God." He bowed his head. "I believe your prayers made a difference."
"Not just mine. Dave's and Henry's too. I'm sure people at my church were also praying." She tried to breathe. "And Glorilyn."
"Yeah, she told me about her new faith." He stared off toward the creek again. "I think from the moment I first met you, right here at this very spot, I knew you were different. You're gorgeous, a woman any man would find attractive. But what I felt for you transcended physical attraction. Your spirit spoke to my dead one. I saw peace in your life. And then, I met Dave. Same thing." He looked up toward the trees on his left. "It made me uncomfortable. Made me question everything I'd been taught my whole life. The Lord called me, Joella. He pursue me, and I couldn't outrun him. I'm so glad I didn't."
Joella never thought he would say those words. The joy in his face made him look younger. And at peace. He spoke the truth.
Her prayers for him were answered. But what about Betty Ann? "You chose another woman."
"I regret that more than I can say. From the beginning, it was a serious mistake." JD ran his hand through his hair. "Betty Ann and I never loved each other. Our relationship was based on a lie. I saw her as a means to gain influence in my father's religion. She just wanted to be married."
A biker sailed by them, breaking the intense connection that bound Joella to JD. She took a deep breath, needing a moment to untangle her thoughts. How could someone as intelligent as JD not see? How could he almost make such a devastating mistake?
As soon as the thought formed, Joella went cold. Hadn't she done the same thing? Only there was no almost with her. She'd plunged headlong into a grievous sin. And lived the consequences to this day. What did that say about her?
JD reached out to touch her face again, but then pulled his hand back. "I need to tell you. I awoke up everyday knowing I love you. I always will. But I was so entrenched in my religion. So short-sighted. So positive I had to pursue my ticket into the next world by my own works." He sucked in a breath, the sound harsh in the quiet morning. "I'm only telling you this so you'll understand and maybe forgive me one day. I'm not asking you to come back to me. I don't deserve you."
Joella flicked away a tear "The Lord forgave me for my sins. I can forgive you. And I praise God for your salvation." JD's revelation was so new in her mind, she could hardly believe it. Though she didn't like JD almost marrying another woman, she understood the reason.
"That's all I needed to hear. I won't bother you again." He touched her arm. "Thank you for listening." He took a few steps backward. "Good-bye, Joella." He turned and jogged slowly back down the path to the west.
She watched him leave. JD had found the Lord, and God saved him from marrying someone in a faith he no longer held to be true. A few more steps took her toward the east parking lot. Unable to stop, she looked over her shoulder. JD walked now, wandering down the winding path with his hands clasped behind his bowed head.
A rush of longing overwhelmed her. Admit it, Joella. You're still crazy in love with him. Could they have a future together? God had received him into His kingdom. In her heart she'd forgiven him as well. Did she dare risk more heartbreak? Or would she regret another choice for the rest of her life. She circled around. "JD, wait."
He stopped at the sound of her voice and turned.
"Wait, please." She called louder and broke into a run. A few steps in front of him, she slowed. "I can't let you walk away again. Once was enough. I love you."
JD closed his eyes with a smile, opening his arms wide. He pulled her close. A perfect fit.
"I never forgot your words." Joella drew back to look up into his face. "That and the Lord's strength got me through those months when I thought you were marrying Betty Ann."
"I love you, Joella. I have for a long time." His eyes shone.
Silence fell around them like a comfortable sweater. They didn't need conversation. She clung to JD, letting the hurt and anger slide away, but knowing she had her own confession to make.
JD had been honest with her. If they had any future at all, he had to know. If he turned from her, it would be better now. She couldn't go through his rejection later. It would hurt too much, and she owed him the truth.
She laid a hand on his arm and cleared her throat. "I need to tell you something about my past."
His pale blue eyes studied hers. "Your past?"
She took a deep breath and continued. "Do you remember the night at Cafe Romagna when I told you about how in college I used to— "
"Yes. You said you drank a lot and weren't proud of some things." He ran his hand down her forearm.
Warmth spread over her cheeks. Lord, get me through this. "That's only the beginning of the story. I made some foolish decisions under its influence, although I can only blame myself—not the alcohol."
A jogger, whistling to himself, passed them on the trail, a reminded of where they stood.
"Come over here where we'll have some privacy." She tugged JD off the path to stand next to a sycamore.
He stroked her hand. "That's all in the past. I love the God-fearing woman I know today."
Joella grasped both sid
es of her head. "JD, will you be quiet and listen." She gulped. "There's more. I did something I'll always have to live with. I had a boyfriend then, and…"
JD narrowed his eyes. A dove's coo filled the silence. "You're telling me, you had … a relationship with him."
"Yes. I'm telling you that and something else." Her chest tightened threatening to strangle her. Would she get the words out?
As if he'd stopped breathing, he stood motionless. "Go on."
"I … the truth is, I got pregnant." The words tumbled from her lips. She could never call them back now.
JD's eyes grew wide. "What happened? Did you abort your child?"
She covered her eyes. "No. I could never have done that."
"Then where…"
"I gave him up." The leaves rustled with the wind. "He's eight now."
JD's chest expanded with a deep breath. For a brief second, he stared toward the Little Camino. "Come here." His embrace swallowed her. "If the God of all creation can forgive a man like me … one who tried to be his own god, insulting the Lord, then I can do nothing less but say I accept you as you are. I love you with all my heart."
Joella lifted her arms and held him close. "Praise the Lord," she whispered in JD's ear.
*****
The leaves on the deciduous trees in the Lower Ormond had turned gold, red, and orange. The babbling stream and chirping birds reminded JD once again of his Creator. He loved all the new songs he'd learned at New Life—especially "All I Can Do Is Thank You." He could never measure up no matter how hard he tried, but now he saw his need for a Savior, God's grace, and a future with the Lord.
Joella smiled and twined her fingers in his. A squirrel darted in front of them and she giggled. "What are you thinking? You have such an awesome expression on your face."
"About the Lord. How good He is." Though he was new to this Christian life, he couldn't deny the joy that filled his heart.
"I can't believe it's been a month now since you started attending New Life. Dave is so excited. I'm sorry about your father's refusal to talk to you, though. I can't imagine how I'd feel if my dad told me he never wanted to see me again. Maybe in time …"