Apprehension ate at his stomach. Without a word, he glimpsed at her again. Intuition warned him to proceed with caution. Though he'd mentioned his Book of Wisdom, he didn't want to bring up the divisive subject of faith now. If they discussed religion, it would spoil the enchanted evening. Why should they become involved in a deep, theological discussion on which they'd disagree?
"What do you think when you consider who God is?" she said.
As if Joella had eavesdropped on his thoughts the night at the frog pond, the question challenged him, reminding him of those bothersome doubts. "God seems complicated to me."
"Yes, you're right. But when I accepted Jesus as my savior, my life changed, and I understood God better—that He forgave me and made me into a new person."
Jesus forgave? The muscles in JD's neck tensed. If only it were that simple. No. The only way to deal with wrongs was on The Scale of Balance.
Now he knew for sure. Joella believed in those fanciful tales his church warned him about. To make it worse, she probably felt secure in her thinking. At least she didn't appear self-absorbed like many of the ill-advised people he'd met.
They sat in silence for a while longer. "I guess we'd better head back. We both have class tomorrow."
He stood and offered her a gentle tug up. For a moment, he gazed down into those amber eyes. Though she didn't know the truth, she seemed comfortable in her own skin. He had to admit, he envied her.
*****
When JD pulled into the long driveway, her porch light blazed. Joella's gaze hinted of questions. Did she wonder whether he'd kiss her on the first date or try to coax her for an invitation to come in? She could stop worrying about that. His church held to higher principles.
"Thanks for a great evening, JD."
He wanted to go out with her again, keeping it on a friendship basis, but decided against suggesting it. After their discussion about God tonight, he knew their beliefs were eons apart. No use allowing opportunity for uncomfortable conversations about religion.
They approached the door, and Joella blinked in the blaring light. "The sunrise service on campus is Sunday. I'm going if you want to come. Only one thing, I think it starts at six in the morning."
JD's stomach turned rock hard. He opened his mouth to decline. That would not be the kind of event he relished, and he'd already decided to avoid seeing her again.
He didn't want to admit it, but her remark about receiving forgiveness for one's wrongs baffled him. Maybe they would talk about the concept at the event. Though she was mistaken, would it hurt to hear the reasoning behind this preposterous theory? He'd go this once. After all, he could still attend his church later in the day. "Okay, I suppose so."
"Good. I'll meet you in front of the ticket booths."
Tension gripped him. What had he committed to? "If my eyes glass over during the service, poke me, and I'll wake up."
Joella's beautiful smile tripped his pulse. Though he agreed to the sunrise service, it had to be the last time he'd go out with her. Once again, he stared at a closed door in his mind. He rubbed his eyes. He couldn't see her, but he knew Joella remained on the other side.
The short trek down the driveway to his truck seemed like a mile. If she didn't practice any religion, it would be easier. But his mind warned him to steer clear of her. At the same time, a longing as wide as the Milky Way unfolded inside him.
Why would Exalted Father torture him with the reassurance and confidence he felt in this woman's presence? Where did this peace originate? If she was a dissident, although an innocent one, why did she seem so at ease with herself? And if his beliefs were true, then why did he feel so conflicted?
Tonight Big Camino Creek flowed next to their picnic table. JD felt like a withered leaf, alone and without an anchor, floating on the water's surface, tossed at the mercy of every rock that sent the moving water gurgling and bubbling downstream.
A few more steps led to his truck. Under the streetlight, a maple tree grew in Joella's yard. JD clicked the locks. A nighthawk perched on a limb, fluttering his tail feathers in the spring breeze. The bird sat alone and isolated, no companion to warm him. A gust blew against JD's coat, slicing a shiver through his chest.
He looked up into the heavens and shook his fist. Why had his life become so tough? His father made finding a suitable wife sound easy, but for him it had become a formidable burden. Now he'd met this amazing woman with whom he couldn't consider spending the rest of his life.
Jerking the truck door open, JD got in, started the ignition, and gunned the motor. He backed out of Joella's driveway into the street and sped off into the black night.
Chapter Five
A shrill buzz brought JD back from the bizarre world where flashing numbers and symbols danced on a giant screen. He opened his eyes, momentarily disoriented, and then breathed a sigh of relief—back in the safety of his bedroom. He slapped the top button on the alarm and stared with bleary eyes at the clock. Five in the morning—why had he set that darn thing so early? Wasn't it the weekend?
Then the fog of sleep lifted. Oh, yeah, the sunrise service. Joella had invited him to attend.
In his mind's eye, she smiled at him, the pink scarf she'd worn the first time he met her floating loosely around her neck. Thinking of her elevated his heart rate.
His legs wobbled as he stumbled into the bathroom. The shower's warm spray on his back washed away some of the drowsiness. At least he didn't cut himself shaving like some mornings.
Would the dress code at the stadium be any different from his own church? He donned a pair of black pants, a light blue knit shirt, and threw on a jean jacket.
Apprehension scudded down his spine. He'd never attended another congregational meeting. How different would the sunrise service be?
He shut the front door, trying not to make any noise, since most people were still asleep.
His headlights filled the basement parking garage, scattering shadows to the far corners. Outside, the night sky remained dark as midnight, giving no hint of morning’s approach. JD yawned in the pre-dawn quiet and wished for a cup of coffee.
The drive from the city center to North California University meandered southeast. Traffic picked up as he neared campus. A parade of lighted vehicles streamed into the stadium parking lot. Did all of these people get up early to go the event?
JD found a slot, then ambled toward the bleachers. He squinted and held his hand to his forehead, scanning the mass of people for Joella.
He caught his breath when he finally spotted her, waving at him from the main entrance near the unmanned ticket booths.
He swallowed hard. The dress she wore, some kind of light, flowery thing, revealed the lines of her shoulders and the hollows around her collarbones. The fabric clung to every one of her curves. With a mental reprimand, JD brought his eyes back up to her face. Her bare neck looked as soft as her filmy pink scarf. Pink must be her favorite color.
What a difference from the clothes he saw at church. There, women wore loose dresses made of plain fabric. Modesty was a big deal. Joella obviously didn't have such constraints with her shorter skirt and bright colors. At his church, all the women looked the same—drab, like his mood this morning.
Large groups of people flowed toward the stadium. Joella's smile sent his pulse jumping like the Peking acrobats. The words flowed out of JD's mouth before he knew what had happened. "The thought of you is the only thing that got me out of bed this early in the morning."
The rising sun in the eastern sky paled in comparison to her bright face, the only happy side of this wee hour. His nerves ground like the worn brake pads on his old college car as he rubbed tired eyes.
"I can tell you're not a morning person." A smile spread her lips. "You must've driven your truck in your sleep."
He lifted an eyebrow. "Almost." Her teasing remark was true enough. If he hadn't promised, he wouldn't be here. But he'd make the same effort for any friend, right?
Joella—a friend? The sight of her made
his heart jump out of his chest, and he longed to remain in her presence. Was this his definition of a friend? Had to dismiss the thought for now.
His conscience constricted. If his father knew where he was at this moment, he would throw a royal fit.
"Come on." She glided toward the stadium entrance in her high heels.
He lengthened his stride to catch up. "Where do you want to sit?" Next to the exit would be just fine. If things got too tense, he could make an easy getaway.
Hundreds of people began filling the concrete seats on the south half of the stadium, the north half blocked off.
"Follow me." Joella graced him with an enormous smile. She must be feeling chipper today, or else she did morning better than he.
"Here you go." A dark haired man at the end of the first row handed JD what appeared to be a program. The usher beamed at him. "He has risen."
Joella circled back to the guy. "Dave, hello. He has risen, indeed."
His face brightened. "Joella, how are you? I saw you from a distance at church last Sunday. You do know I got the job as youth pastor?"
Hmm. At first he guessed that the man was an old boyfriend. But maybe they merely knew each other from church.
"Yes, that's great." Joella tugged JD's arm. "This is a guy I know from college, Dave Reyes."
With a firm grip, JD shook his hand. "Nice to meet you." The usher looked pleasant enough.
"Good to meet you, brother. Hope you both enjoy the service." Dave wheeled around to a couple and handed them a program.
"Uh … yeah." How awkward was that? JD cringed. He didn't belong here, but he couldn't just walk out now.
Sure Jesus died on a cross, but rising physically from the dead—ludicrous. After his death, he returned to Exalted Father in heaven. JD glanced around the crowded rows. Obviously these people didn't know the real Jesus.
Why had the usher smiled? Jesus death and burial gave nothing to be happy about. When he left earth and arrived in heaven, Exalted Father expressed his concern about man's ignorance in refusing to listen to his son's message.
But at that point in history, the Eternal Father hadn't given the revelation yet. Not until the right time, the early 1900's.
Concrete stairs led up the stadium's side. On JD's left, a middle-aged woman scrunched between two kids. His heart stopped. Sister Langdon. Oh, no. He prayed she hadn't seen him. Yet what would she be doing here? Another quick glance brought heat to his face, making him feel foolish. The woman only looked like the wife of Jeremiah Langdon, one of the wealthiest members of their congregation.
JD took a breath to still the mad rush of his heart rate. He continued to follow Joella up the stairs. The usher and Joella were both deceived. A tight knot wrapped around his stomach. JD had read some of what the ill-informed Christians believed … that Jesus was God. Absurd. He was merely Exalted Father's human son. The knot hardened into cement. His church forbade him to even listen to other teachings. Would he hear something today that would plant seeds of doubt?
No. He'd never get sucked into the false religion Joella held so dear. He shifted his shoulders ramrod straight.
Recorded instrumental music piped through the stadium's sound system, doing nothing to calm his nerves. He wiped sweaty palms on his pants and swallowed.
Joella stopped at the tenth row up. "How's that?" She pointed across a line of people sitting in the bleachers.
He shrugged. "Yeah, sure." They scooted down in front of what looked to be an entire family … three small kids and their parents. It must have taken a lot of effort to get here this early. Why did they look so normal, so happy?
"Excuse us." Joella squeezed between a couple on the right and two teens on the left, leaving barely enough room for him. He didn't mind sitting close to her, though.
The teens inched over a little, but he still had to fold his arms over his chest not to rub shoulders with the one next to him. But when he did, he brushed Joella's arm, sending a bolt of lightning up his spine.
The large crowd surprised him, so many people interested in the event. It couldn't be anything like one of the long EB meetings his father had required him to attend since he was twelve.
JD closed his eyes a moment remembering. The Exalted Brethren gatherings always began with announcements from one of the elders and sometimes the overseer. Then the leader would say a prayer and read a couple of passages from the Book of Wisdom followed by the singing of a few hymns. Finally, a scheduled church member would give testimony of what EB meant to him. Sometimes he'd mention a feeling of heat in his chest that confirmed the validity of his religion, the truth of all the doctrines, just like the flame the original fathers experienced when they received the word for the first time that night in Portland.
JD had never experienced such a sensation. It took all his self-control to stay awake through the meeting. As a kid, he couldn't wait to get outside, and if Dad allowed, explore the gardens behind the church.
He opened his eyes again. Straight ahead, a podium faced the crowd. The sun made its way farther up from the horizon. A flock of swallows rose and fell in perfect formation against the sky.
He exhaled a long breath. So far he hadn't observed any uncomfortable fanaticism. He could relax.
The music quieted, and a man in a dark suit walked out on the grass to the podium. "Happy Easter. Let's praise His name." His voice echoed throughout the stadium.
The program indicated he represented New Life Fellowship, Pastor McNeely. JD perused the flyer. Someone had spent hours writing and printing it.
Joella nudged his arm and leaned toward him. "That's my pastor."
JD breathed in the essence of apricots and fought the urge to touch her long dark strands.
A second man in a sports jacket and slacks stepped up to the podium. "Please welcome the choir from All Saints." About forty people in purple robes filed out on the grass to stand in front of folding chairs.
The man spoke into the microphone again. "Join us in 'Christ the Lord Is Risen Today.'" Rotating toward the group, he lifted his arms.
The crowd around JD stood and broke into song. Joella's skirt brushed his forearm. If he remained seated, she would think he didn't want to be involved with the service, so he rose to his feet. The lifted hands mystified him. How could individuals get that enthusiastic and emotional about religion? If someone so much as raised an elbow during one of his family's church services, the congregation would stare at him.
JD fumbled with the paper. As the choir finished the song, Pastor McNeely came to the microphone. "Listen to the words of the prophet, Isaiah, 'I am the first and I am the last. Apart from me there is no God.'" He bowed his head. "Our blessed Savior, God incarnate, the only true God, we worship You today and thank You for dying on the cross for us and rising again on the third day."
JD crumpled one page of the program but smoothed it out again. God didn't die on the cross … Jesus did. He scratched his neck under his collar, now too tight. Why did these Christians make such a fuss over one prophet's death?
"You may be seated." Joella's pastor drew his hands downward.
When JD bumped Joella's shoulder, she gave him a bright smile and turned back to the preacher.
"I'd like you to welcome Reverend Longwood from Our Savior Church in El Camino," the minister continued.
The preacher stood behind a wooden podium with a cross carved on the front obviously representing the cross where Jesus was crucified. There were no crosses in his church's sanctuary—only the eleven statues in a semi-circle at the back of the altar. Why should anyone place a cross in their church? It only represented Jesus' failures.
For the next twenty minutes, JD stared at the reverend as he addressed the crowd.
"'When a man believes in me, he does not believe in me only, but in the one who sent me. When he looks at me, he sees the one who sent me.' Jesus speaks these words in the book of John when he prays for his disciples. My brethren, Jesus is clearly claiming his divinity, God reaching down to man from heaven."
JD stiffened. Not for one minute did he believe what the pastor said. He'd expected these doctrinal differences. Hadn't his church always warned that other religions believed in fairytales? He could see the truth for himself now.
The reverend looked at the choir, then back to the audience. "Listen and embrace the glorious words from the Bible. 'If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.' Now may the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all."
The crowd stood, and the couple beside him moved to the left to funnel out of the stadium. He peered back at Joella. Her face wore a glow that didn't come from the rising sun.
He cracked his knuckles. Confusion and doubts clogged his mind. Maybe he shouldn't have come. He held Joella's arm as they stepped down the concrete stairs, his thoughts whirling like a pinwheel in a strong wind.
The teens on their row pushed past them. JD blew out a breath trying not to panic in the swarm of humanity inundating him. Patience.
The main exit emerged as the crowd thinned. He had to say something. "Your pastor must be well known in the community to be invited to speak at such a large gathering."
She radiated a smile. "Pastor McNeely is a good preacher. If you want, you could visit my church. He's been my pastor for most of my life."
He rubbed dry lips. "I usually don't visit other churches. I attend my own."
Joella glanced around, probably searching for her car. A two-toned green Bronco appeared in front of them. "Where do you go to worship?"
A shiver ran down his spine. He still wasn't ready to risk a religious debate—at least not today. "Oh, a small church in my parents' neighborhood."
Discomfort ate at his gut. "Look, Joella. I need to go." He turned toward his truck.
"Wait a minute, JD."
He glanced back.
"I need to ask you a big favor." Imploring him with a childlike grin, her hands folded under her chin.
If she suggested going to church again, he'd say no. "Yeah?"
"I really hate to ask you, but I need to go to the Home and Garden Show this week at the Civic Center—mainly to get some ideas. Nobody else from work is attending, and I'm afraid to make the trip to that dangerous neighborhood alone." She studied the keys in her hands. "I wondered if you would go with me."