“I’ve talked it over with Mac,” he continued, ignoring her outburst. “We agree we’d both feel better if you’d quit your job. At least for now.”
She laid her other hand over his arm. “Ryder, I appreciate your concern, but I can’t quit. Mac and I need the money. We both have bills even living together. I wouldn’t feel right making him take responsibility for the things I have to pay.”
Ryder pressed his lips together. “Kit, you know I have more money than I’ll ever know what to do with.”
He held up his hand when she would have protested.
“Let me help out, darlin’. You could be pregnant with my child. If that’s the case, don’t you think I’ll be doing everything in my power to make sure you’re taken care of? Let me do this for you, Kit. Quit your job and stay home. Take care of yourself and our baby. Let me take care of you.”
He’d gotten to her. He knew when she didn’t immediately respond that she was at least considering his proposal. Fear and a little uncertainty flashed in her eyes.
“I’ve never completely depended on anyone else,” she whispered. “It scares the hell out of me.”
“Then maybe it’s time you started,” he said firmly. “Mac and I will take care of you, darlin’. We won’t let you down, I swear it.”
“I’ll think about it,” she finally conceded.
He smiled and squeezed her hand. The silence between them lay heavy, and he cleared his throat in an attempt to alleviate the strain.
“Where the hell is Mac anyway? Shouldn’t he be home by now?”
She sighed a little unhappily. “He got called in to work. Some big case that’s poised to crack. I get the feelin’ he’ll be working a lot of hours for awhile.”
“Damn. Sorry to hear that.”
“I’m glad you’re here,” she said, a sweet smile spreading across her face. Her green eyes had regained their luster after her puking episode, and they shone with happiness now.
“I’ve been here, darlin’. Nothing could keep me away.”
“I know, but you’ve been here less when Mac’s around.”
He shifted uncomfortably. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything, Kit girl. I just thought . . . ” He broke off with a heavy sigh. “I just thought it best to give you two as much breathing room as possible given the circumstances.”
She stared at him for a long moment. Her lips trembled, and she looked as if she was doing battle with the devil.
“Ryder, I love you and I want you here. Especially now.”
“I know you do, darlin’,” he said soothingly.
She stood up in agitation, her back to him. Then she turned around and took a deep breath. “No, Ryder, I don’t think you do know. I love you. I feel so guilty even saying it, but it’s the truth. I can’t go on denying what I feel. You once told me that I didn’t love you the same way I did Mac, and you were right. But at the time I thought you meant not as much. And that’s not true. I love you and Mac both.”
Her eyes filled with tears, and she wrapped her arms tightly around herself. “I fought with myself so many times. I know it could hurt Mac, and God knows I’d never do anything to hurt him. I love him so much. But I love you too, Ryder. I don’t want to be without either of you.”
Ryder felt downright light-headed. He gaped at her, not knowing how to respond, what to say. What could he do? And why, when she was standing there telling him everything he’d ever dreamed, was he not overjoyed?
He stood up and closed the distance between them. He pulled her into his arms and held on tight.
Tell her you love her too. Don’t fuck this up.
But instead he said, “I don’t want to hurt Mac either, darlin’. You know I love you. I’m always here for you. Let’s just leave it at that and see what happens down the road.”
She stiffened in his arms and turned her head away so he wouldn’t see her tears. Goddamn it killed him to see her cry. He’d do anything to spare her pain.
He reached down to cup her stomach, marveling that his child could be nestled inside her.
“You need to take better care of yourself, darlin’. I aim to make sure you do.”
“Take me to bed and hold me, Ryder. Please.”
He looked down into her big green eyes and lost whatever remaining part of his soul he had. “That I can do, Kit girl. That I can do.”
He bent down and gently picked her up. She looked tired and worn-out, like a woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders. He should have been here with her instead of at the strip joint whining at Mia.
He carried her into the bedroom and eased her down on the bed. Taking only a moment to strip out of his shirt and jeans, he climbed in beside her. She snuggled into his chest and closed her eyes immediately.
Soon her soft, even breathing filled the room. He stroked her hair, pulling a strand away from her face. She was so beautiful. She was tired, too. Pregnancy was taking its toll on her early. He’d make damn sure she quit her job. He wasn’t going to relent until she saw things his way.
She loved him. It tore her apart, the thought of hurting Mac, but she’d said it anyway. Wanted him to know. How he got so lucky, he’d never know. He should have held her, told her that somehow they’d work it out, but he couldn’t lie to her.
The future was one bitch of a cliffhanger. Who knew what the fuck would happen months down the road. Kit needed them both right now, but when the baby came . . .
What a cluster fuck indeed. If it was his baby, he’d always be between Mac and Kit. If it was Mac’s baby, Ryder would be left out in the cold.
Neither option was particularly appealing.
He bent to kiss her softly on the forehead. He couldn’t control the outcome. Couldn’t dictate the future. But he could decide the present. Whatever happened in the end, he was going to make the next seven months the best for all of them.
CHAPTER 12
Kit settled onto the couch between Mac and Ryder, a contented smile on her face. The last few weeks had been nothing short of magical. Although Mac was working long hours, and she missed him terribly, he and Ryder watched over her constantly.
The three had settled into a comfortable routine. Ryder had all but moved in, opting to spend the majority of the nights over at Mac’s. And when he wasn’t working in the garage, he kept her company.
At first she’d been loathe to admit it, but quitting work had been a huge relief. Accepting help—money—from Ryder had been extremely uncomfortable, but he didn’t so much as blink an eye. He wrote a check—an extremely large check—and made her deposit it into her bank account. Then he’d given her a credit card and a duplicate ATM card for his own account with instructions to use it if necessary.
“How are you feeling tonight, baby?” Mac asked as he wrapped an arm around her. His hand settled possessively on her shoulder, and he squeezed her lightly.
Tonight was one of the few nights he’d been at home for more than a few minutes to grab something to eat, shower and leave again. She missed him.
She snuggled into his arms and laid her head on his chest. “I’m feeling okay. A little queasy, but better now that you’re at home.”
He kissed her forehead then nuzzled down to her lips, capturing them in a long, hot, breathless kiss.
“I’ve missed you, baby. I’m sorry I’ve had to work so much lately.”
She smiled up at him. “It’s your job. I know that.”
“I’m also glad you let Ryder help out so you could quit,” he said seriously. “It’s a huge weight off my mind not to have to worry about you working at the Two Step anymore.”
She crinkled her brow. She had no idea it worried him that much. She knew he still had nightmares about her attack and the night he thought he’d lost her, but she didn’t realize he’d wanted her to quit so badly.
“I’m glad too,” Ryder butted in from the other side. “It would have been damn hard on you when you’re belly starts swelling along with your feet.”
She smile
d a satisfied smile. A ridiculous thrill fluttered in her stomach. “I love the way you two fuss over me,” she admitted.
“Get used to it,” Mac said as he kissed her again. “It’s only going to get worse.”
“Make love to me,” she whispered. “It’s been so long since I got to spend the night in your arms. Tonight I want to sleep between the two of you.”
Mac looked over her head at Ryder and grinned. “That sounds like an invitation to me.”
Ryder stood up. “You won’t see me turning it down.”
Mac sat forward and got up from the couch. Then he reached down for her, picking her up and cradling her in his arms.
She loved his strength. She rested her head on his chest as he walked back to the bedroom. He set her on the bed and began undressing her in gentle motions.
When she reached for his fly, he blocked her hands.
“Let us love you, baby. You just lie back and enjoy it.”
She stared at him feeling so much love she thought she might burst. He pushed her back until she lay in the middle of the bed. Then he and Ryder began undressing.
Mac knelt on the bed, sliding up her body. She welcomed him with her arms, holding them out to pull him close. He held her face in his hands and kissed her reverently, as if she were a precious piece of glass.
His knee nudged impatiently at her thighs, spreading them, readying her for his swollen cock.
“Love me,” she whispered.
“I do, baby. I do.”
He slid easily into her. All the breath sucked right out of her lungs. He paused when he was all the way in, looking down at her with so much love in his eyes. He smoothed her hair from her face as he propped himself on his elbows.
He rocked gently against her, his hips undulating in a slow rhythm. Finally he rose up and settled between her legs on his knees.
Ryder rolled closer to her and cupped a breast with his hand as Mac continued his tender assault on her pussy. Ryder’s fingers crept up to her jaw and turned her to face him. Her lips melted against his as he kissed her. His tongue slid over her lips, gaining entrance to duel with her tongue.
The kiss burned on and on, and Mac slid lazily in and out of her pussy. Never before had they shown this degree of tenderness. A knot of emotion swelled in her throat until she gasped for air.
Ryder’s head lowered to her breasts. He sucked first one nipple into his mouth then moved to the other. He circled the puckered tip with his tongue, and he sucked in rhythm with Mac’s thrusts.
“Please!” she cried out.
“Please what, baby? Love you? I do,” Mac said. “Protect you? Take care of you always? I will.”
Tears flooded her eyes.
“That goes for me too,” Ryder whispered in her ear.
Her eyes flew open at his words. Did he mean them the same way Mac did, or was he just saying it in the heat of the moment? For now it didn’t matter. She took them both to heart. A heart that was so full of love for both of them, she didn’t think she could bear it.
Her orgasm built slowly, leisurely, like a calm wind on a summer day. She felt loved and cherished, like she was the only woman in the world.
Mac leaned further into her, his hardness causing unbearable friction in the delicate tissues of her pussy. She squeezed her eyes shut as the tension built and built. Ryder plucked at her nipples, rolling them between his fingers then nipping with his teeth.
When she opened her eyes again, Mac threw back his head and she could see his jaw straining. She arched into him, wanting him deeper. She was so close. One more time. She cried out as he sank in once more and began pulsing into her.
Ryder suckled at her breasts, alternating, his mouth sending streaks of fire straight to her clit. She shoved her hand into his dark hair and held him tightly against her as Mac gripped her hips and exploded in his orgasm.
It felt as though something popped inside her, setting her free. She floated, the room fuzzy, her vision blurred. She was dimly aware of Ryder pulling her over so Mac could settle down on the other side of her.
Then both men flanked her body, and she melted against them. “I love you,” she whispered as her eyes fluttered closed.
Ryder walked into the house and looked around for Kit. Mac was working late again, and he’d called a minute ago to tell Ryder he probably wouldn’t be home until the morning.
He smiled when he saw Kit all curled up on the couch fast asleep in just a T-shirt. He decided not to disturb her. She needed her rest. Her pregnancy had been difficult so far, and she was sick often.
He just gave thanks she’d listened to reason and quit her job. The job would have been too hard on her when she was doing all she could just to stay above water.
His stomach growled, and he headed into the kitchen to make a sandwich. Then he’d hit the hay. He had an early job to do in the morning at the garage.
After throwing together a ham and turkey sandwich, he slouched at the table with a cold beer. He was nearly finished when his cell phone vibrated then rang. He snatched it up so it wouldn’t wake up Kit and muttered a hello.
“Hey, man, you at the house?” Mac asked.
“Yeah, just got done eating.”
“How’s Kit?” Mac sounded concerned.
“She’s sleeping on the couch. I didn’t wake her.”
“Good. I was worried about her. I hated to leave, but we need all the men we can get. Got a lot of shit going down lately.”
“I’ll take good care of her,” Ryder promised.
“Thanks, man.”
They rang off, and Ryder tiptoed back through the living room and checked on Kit one last time before he slipped past her into the bedroom.
He shucked his boots and clothes and turned the shower on. He flexed tired muscles and stepped under the hot spray. After a quick rinse, he got out and wrapped a towel around his hips. He took another towel from the rack and began rubbing his long hair.
As he walked back into the bedroom, a peculiar sound from the living room had him frowning. He dropped the towel he was drying his hair with and headed toward the sound.
When he reached the door, he heard it again. Kit was moaning and gasping in pain. His blood ran cold as he looked across to see her doubled over on the floor by the couch. But what scared him even more was all the blood spreading out on the carpet.
“Kit!”
He launched himself across the room and dropped to the floor beside her. She looked up at him her eyes chock-full of agony.
“The baby,” she gasped. “I think it’s the baby.”
She looked down at her hand, smeared with bright red blood, and she began to shake uncontrollably.
“Jesus.” He looked frantically around and swore. “Let me get my pants, darlin’. Sit tight.”
He sprinted to the bedroom, his towel falling from his hips. He yanked his pants and shirt back on and bolted back into the living room. Kneeling beside her on the carpet, he scooped her up in his arms and hurried for the door.
“It hurts, Ryder.”
“I know it does, darlin’. I’ll get you to the hospital. Just hold on to me tight.”
He carried her to her Bronco and eased her into the passenger seat. Then he raced around and threw himself into the driver’s seat.
All the way to the hospital he listened to her moans and cursed his inability to stop her pain. He rubbed her head in his lap and smoothed a hand down her body. Anything to make her feel better. To let her know he was here.
Five minutes later, he careened into the emergency-room alcove and screeched to a halt. He ran around to the passenger side and collected her in his arms. He was met at the door by an ER tech who asked the situation.
“Miscarriage,” Ryder muttered.
The tech motioned him through the employees-only door and ushered him into an exam room.
“Lay her here,” the tech directed. “Then wait outside.”
“I’m not leaving her,” Ryder ground out.
The tech looked at him for a
long moment and must have realized