Probably Golz knew all about this too and wanted to make the point that you must make your whole life in the two nights that are given to you; that living as we do now you must concentrate all of that which you should always have into the short time that you can have it.
It was a good system of belief. But he did not believe that Maria had only been made by the circumstances. Unless, of course, she is a reaction from her own circumstance as well as his. Her one circumstance is not so good, he thought. No, not so good.
If this was how it was then this was how it was. But there was no law that made him say he liked it. I did not know that I could ever feel what I have felt, he thought. Nor that this could happen to me. I would like to have it for my whole life. You will, the other part of him said. You will. You have it now and that is all your whole life is; now. There is nothing else than now. There is neither yesterday, certainly, nor is there any tomorrow. How old must you be before you know that? There is only now, and if now is only two days, then two days is your life and everything in it will be in proportion. This is how you live a life in two days. And if you stop complaining and asking for what you never will get, you will have a good life. A good life is not measured by any biblical span.
So now do not worry, take what you have, and do your work and you will have a long life and a very merry one. Hasn't it been merry lately? What are you complaining about? That's the thing about this sort of work, he told himself, and was very pleased with the thought, it isn't so much what you learn as it is the people you meet. He was pleased then because he was joking and he came back to the girl.
"I love you, rabbit," he said to the girl. "What was it you were saying?"
"I was saying," she told him, "that you must not worry about your work because I will not bother you nor interfere. If there is anything I can do you will tell me."
"There's nothing," he said. "It is really very simple."
"I will learn from Pilar what I should do to take care of a man well and those things I will do," Maria said. "Then, as I learn, I will discover things for myself and other things you can tell me."
"There is nothing to do."
"Que va, man, there is nothing! Thy sleeping robe, this morning, should have been shaken and aired and hung somewhere in the sun. Then, before the dew comes, it should be taken into shelter."
"Go on, rabbit."
"Thy socks should be washed and dried. I would see thee had two pair."
"What else?"
"If thou would show me I would clean and oil thy pistol."
"Kiss me," Robert Jordan said.
"Nay, this is serious. Wilt thou show me about the pistol? Pilar has rags and oil. There is a cleaning rod inside the cave that should fit it."
"Sure. I'll show you."
"Then," Maria said. "If you will teach me to shoot it either one of us could shoot the other and himself, or herself, if one were wounded and it were necessary to avoid capture."
"Very interesting," Robert Jordan said. "Do you have many ideas like that?"
"Not many," Maria said. "But it is a good one. Pilar gave me this and showed me how to use it," she opened the breast pocket of her shirt and took out a cut-down leather holder such as pocket combs are carried in and, removing a wide rubber band that closed both ends, took out a Gem type, single-edged razor blade. "I keep this always," she explained. "Pilar says you must make the cut here just below the ear and draw it toward here." She showed him with her finger. "She says there is a big artery there and that drawing the blade from there you cannot miss it. Also, she says there is no pain and you must simply press firmly below the ear and draw it downward. She says it is nothing and that they cannot stop it if it is done."
"That's right," said Robert Jordan. "That's the carotid artery."
So she goes around with that all the time, he thought, as a definitely accepted and properly organized possibility.
"But I would rather have thee shoot me," Maria said. "Promise if there is ever any need that thou wilt shoot me."
"Sure," Robert Jordan said. "I promise."
"Thank thee very much," Maria told him. "I know it is not easy to do."
"That's all right," Robert Jordan said.
You forget all this, he thought. You forget about the beauties of a civil war when you keep your mind too much on your work. You have forgotten this. Well, you are supposed to. Kashkin couldn't forget it and it spoiled his work. Or do you think the old boy had a hunch? It was very strange because he had experienced absolutely no emotion about the shooting of Kashkin. He expected that at some time he might have it. But so far there had been absolutely none.
"But there are other things I can do for thee," Maria told him, walking close beside him, now, very serious and womanly.
"Besides shoot me?"
"Yes. I can roll cigarettes for thee when thou hast no more of those with tubes. Pilar has taught me to roll them very well, tight and neat and not spilling."
"Excellent," said Robert Jordan. "Do you lick them yourself?"
"Yes," the girl said, "and when thou art wounded I will care for thee and dress thy wound and wash thee and feed thee--"
"Maybe I won't be wounded," Robert Jordan said.
"Then when you are sick I will care for thee and make thee soups and clean thee and do all for thee. And I will read to thee."
"Maybe I won't get sick."
"Then I will bring thee coffee in the morning when thou wakest----"
"Maybe I don't like coffee," Robert Jordan told her.
"Nay, but you do," the girl said happily. "This morning you took two cups."
"Suppose I get tired of coffee and there's no need to shoot me and I'm neither wounded nor sick and I give up smoking and have only one pair of socks and hang up my robe myself. What then, rabbit?" he patted her on the back. "What then?"
"Then," said Maria, "I will borrow the scissors of Pilar and cut thy hair."
"I don't like to have my hair cut."
"Neither do I," said Maria. "And I like thy hair as it is. So. If there is nothing to do for thee, I will sit by thee and watch thee and in the nights we will make love."
"Good," Robert Jordan said. "The last project is very sensible."
"To me it seems the same," Maria smiled. "Oh, Ingles," she said.
"My name is Roberto."
"Nay. But I call thee Ingles as Pilar does."
"Still it is Roberto."
"No," she told him. "Now for a whole day it is Ingles. And Ingles, can I help thee with thy work?"
"No. What I do now I do alone and very coldly in my head."
"Good," she said. "And when will it be finished?"
"Tonight, with luck."
"Good," she said.
Below them was the last woods that led to the camp.
"Who is that?" Robert Jordan asked and pointed.
"Pilar," the girl said, looking along his arm. "Surely it is Pilar."
At the lower edge of the meadow where the first trees grew the woman was sitting, her head on her arms. She looked like a dark bundle from where they stood; black against the brown of the tree trunk.
"Come on," Robert Jordan said and started to run toward her through the knee-high heather. It was heavy and hard to run in and when he had run a little way, he slowed and walked. He could see the woman's head was on her folded arms and she looked broad and black against the tree trunk. He came up to her and said, "Pilar!" sharply.
The woman raised her head and looked up at him.
"Oh," she said. "You have terminated already?"
"Art thou ill?" he asked and bent down by her.
"Que va," she said. "I was asleep."
"Pilar," Maria, who had come up, said and kneeled down by her. "How are you? Are you all right?"
"I'm magnificent," Pilar said but she did not get up. She looked at the two of them. "Well, Ingles," she said. "You have been doing manly tricks again?"
"You are all right?" Robert Jordan asked, ignoring the words.
"Why not? I sl
ept. Did you?"
"No."
"Well," Pilar said to the girl. "It seems to agree with you."
Maria blushed and said nothing.
"Leave her alone," Robert Jordan said.
"No one spoke to thee," Pilar told him. "Maria," she said and her voice was hard. The girl did not look up.
"Maria," the woman said again. "I said it seems to agree with thee."
"Oh, leave her alone," Robert Jordan said again.
"Shut up, you," Pilar said without looking at him. "Listen, Maria, tell me one thing."
"No," Maria said and shook her head.
"Maria," Pilar said, and her voice was as hard as her face and there was nothing friendly in her face. "Tell me one thing of thy own volition."
The girl shook her head.
Robert Jordan was thinking, if I did not have to work with this woman and her drunken man and her chicken-crut outfit, I would slap her so hard across the face that----
"Go ahead and tell me," Pilar said to the girl.
"No," Maria said. "No."
"Leave her alone," Robert Jordan said and his voice did not sound like his own voice. I'll slap her anyway and the hell with it, he thought.
Pilar did not even speak to him. It was not like a snake charming a bird, nor a cat with a bird. There was nothing predatory. Nor was there anything perverted about it. There was a spreading, though, as a cobra's hood spreads. He could feel this. He could feel the menace of the spreading. But the spreading was a domination, not of evil, but of searching. I wish I did not see this, Robert Jordan thought. But it is not a business for slapping.
"Maria," Pilar said. "I will not touch thee. Tell me now of thy own volition."
"De tu propia voluntad," the words were in Spanish.
The girl shook her head.
"Maria," Pilar said. "Now and of thy own volition. You hear me? Anything at all."
"No," the girl said softly. "No and no."
"Now you will tell me," Pilar told her. "Anything at all. You will see. Now you will tell me."
"The earth moved," Maria said, not looking at the woman. "Truly. It was a thing I cannot tell thee."
"So," Pilar said and her voice was warm and friendly and there was no compulsion in it. But Robert Jordan noticed there were small drops of perspiration on her forehead and her lips. "So there was that. So that was it."
"It is true," Maria said and bit her lip.
"Of course it is true," Pilar said kindly. "But do not tell it to your own people for they never will believe you. You have no Cali blood, Ingles?"
She got to her feet, Robert Jordan helping her up.
"No," he said. "Not that I know of."
"Nor has the Maria that she knows of," Pilar said. "Pues es muy raro. It is very strange."
"But it happened, Pilar," Maria said.
"Como que no, hija?" Pilar said. "Why not, daughter? When I was young the earth moved so that you could feel it all shift in space and were afraid it would go out from under you. It happened every night."
"You lie," Maria said.
"Yes," Pilar said. "I lie. It never moves more than three times in a lifetime. Did it really move?"
"Yes," the girl said. "Truly."
"For you, Ingles?" Pilar looked at Robert Jordan. "Don't lie."
"Yes," he said. "Truly."
"Good," said Pilar. "Good. That is something."
"What do you mean about the three times?" Maria asked. "Why do you say that?"
"Three times," said Pilar. "Now you've had one."
"Only three times?"
"For most people, never," Pilar told her. "You are sure it moved?"
"One could have fallen off," Maria said.
"I guess it moved, then," Pilar said. "Come, then, and let us get to camp."
"What's this nonsense about three times?" Robert Jordan said to the big woman as they walked through the pines together.
"Nonsense?" she looked at him wryly. "Don't talk to me of nonsense, little English."
"Is it a wizardry like the palms of the hands?"
"Nay, it is common and proven knowledge with Gitanos."
"But we are not Gitanos."
"Nay. But you have had a little luck. Non-gypsies have a little luck sometimes."
"You mean it truly about the three times?"
She looked at him again, oddly. "Leave me, Ingles," she said. "Don't molest me. You are too young for me to speak to."
"But, Pilar," Maria said.
"Shut up," Pilar told her. "You have had one and there are two more in the world for thee."
"And you?" Robert Jordan asked her.
"Two," said Pilar and put up two fingers. "Two. And there will never be a third."
"Why not?" Maria asked.
"Oh, shut up," Pilar said. "Shut up. Busnes of thy age bore me."
"Why not a third?" Robert Jordan asked.
"Oh, shut up, will you?" Pilar said. "Shut up!"
All right, Robert Jordan said to himself. Only I am not having any. I've known a lot of gypsies and they are strange enough. But so are we. The difference is we have to make an honest living. Nobody knows what tribes we came from nor what our tribal inheritance is nor what the mysteries were in the woods where the people lived that we came from. All we know is that we do not know. We know nothing about what happens to us in the nights. When it happens in the day though, it is something. Whatever happened, happened and now this woman not only has to make the girl say it when she did not want to; but she has to take it over and make it her own. She has to make it into a gypsy thing. I thought she took a beating up the hill but she was certainly dominating just now back there. If it had been evil she should have been shot. But it wasn't evil. It was only wanting to keep her hold on life. To keep it through Maria.
When you get through with this war you might take up the study of women, he said to himself. You could start with Pilar. She has put in a pretty complicated day, if you ask me. She never brought in the gypsy stuff before. Except the hand, he thought. Yes, of course the hand. And I don't think she was faking about the hand. She wouldn't tell me what she saw, of course. Whatever she saw she believed in herself. But that proves nothing.
"Listen, Pilar," he said to the woman.
Pilar looked at him and smiled.
"What is it?" she asked.
"Don't be so mysterious," Robert Jordan said. "These mysteries tire me very much."
"So?" Pilar said.
"I do not believe in ogres, soothsayers, fortune tellers, or chicken-crut gypsy witchcraft."
"Oh," said Pilar.
"No. And you can leave the girl alone."
"I will leave the girl alone."
"And leave the mysteries," Robert Jordan said. "We have enough work and enough things that will be done without complicating it with chicken-crut. Fewer mysteries and more work."
"I see," said Pilar and nodded her head in agreement. "And listen, Ingles," she said and smiled at him. "Did the earth move?"
"Yes, God damn you. It moved."
Pilar laughed and laughed and stood looking at Robert Jordan laughing.
"Oh, Ingles. Ingles," she said laughing. "You are very comical. You must do much work now to regain thy dignity."
The Hell with you, Robert Jordan thought. But he kept his mouth shut. While they had spoken the sun had clouded over and as he looked back up toward the mountains the sky was now heavy and gray.
"Sure," Pilar said to him, looking at the sky. "It will snow."
"Now? Almost in June?"
"Why not? These mountains do not know the names of the months. We are in the moon of May."
"It can't be snow," he said. "It can't snow."
"Just the same, Ingles," she said to him, "it will snow."
Robert Jordan looked up at the thick gray of the sky with the sun gone faintly yellow, and now as he watched gone completely and the gray becoming uniform so that it was soft and heavy; the gray now cutting off the tops of the mountains.
"Yes," he said. "I guess you
are right."
14
By the time they reached the camp it was snowing and the flakes were dropping diagonally through the pines. They slanted through the trees, sparse at first and circling as they fell, and then, as the cold wind came driving down the mountain, they came whirling and thick and Robert Jordan stood in front of the cave in a rage and watched them.
"We will have much snow," Pablo said. His voice was thick and his eyes were red and bleary.
"Has the gypsy come in?" Robert Jordan asked him.
"No," Pablo said. "Neither him nor the old man."
"Will you come with me to the upper post on the road?"
"No," Pablo said. "I will take no part in this."
"I will find it myself."
"In this storm you might miss it," Pablo said. "I would not go now."
"It's just downhill to the road and then follow it up."
"You could find it. But thy two sentries will be coming up now with the snow and you would miss them on the way."
"The old man is waiting for me."
"Nay. He will come in now with the snow."
Pablo looked at the snow that was blowing fast now past the mouth of the cave and said, "You do not like the snow, Ingles?"
Robert Jordan swore and Pablo looked at him through his bleary eyes and laughed.
"With this thy offensive goes, Ingles," he said. "Come into the cave and thy people will be in directly."
Inside the cave Maria was busy at the fire and Pilar at the kitchen table. The fire was smoking but, as the girl worked with it, poking in a stick of wood and then fanning it with a folded paper, there was a puff and then a flare and the wood was burning, drawing brightly as the wind sucked a draft out of the hole in the roof.
"And this snow," Robert Jordan said. "You think there will be much?"
"Much," Pablo said contentedly. Then called to Pilar, "You don't like it, woman, either? Now that you command you do not like this snow?"
"A mi que?" Pilar said, over her shoulder. "If it snows it snows."
"Drink some wine, Ingles," Pablo said. "I have been drinking all day waiting for the snow."
"Give me a cup," Robert Jordan said.
"To the snow," Pablo said and touched cups with him. Robert Jordan looked him in the eyes and clinked his cup. You bleary-eyed murderous sod, he thought. I'd like to clink this cup against your teeth. Take it easy, he told himself, take it easy.
"It is very beautiful the snow," Pablo said. "You won't want to sleep outside with the snow falling."