Table of Contents
Dedication
Acknowledgements
Prologue
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Nine
Thirty
Thirty-One
Thirty-Two
Thirty-Three
Thirty-Four
Thirty-Five
Epilogue
Connect with M
More from M
Copyright © 2015 M. Robinson
All rights Reserved.
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission of the author.
This book is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organizations, or locations are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity, and are used fictitiously. All other characters, dead or alive are a figment of my imagination and all incidents and dialogue, are drawn from the author’s mind's eye and are not to be interpreted as real.
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Without you…
I would be nothing.
“Stop,” Jacob warned as I tried to pull him closer to me by his shirt.
“Oh, come on, everyone’s inside. No one will see us.”
It was nightfall. The bright full moon loomed over the horizon like a beacon. We were standing outside on the beach that held so many memories. It gave me a sense of comfort like it had when I was a child. We spent endless nights outside together.
Just. Like. This.
He looked up toward the house behind me. “Kid, I can see them. If I can see them, then they can see us.”
I shrugged. “I don’t care,” I honestly spoke.
“You don’t mean that.”
“See… there’s the problem, Jacob. I’ve always meant it.”
He took a deep breath, his masculine chest lifting before he crossed his chiseled, muscular arms over his chest. The gesture immediately reminding me how they felt wrapped around my body.
“I love you. It’s that simple for me.” I shrugged again.
“I love you, too. You know that. I’ve always loved you, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is wrong. What we’re doing, what we’ve been doing since you were fifteen behind everyone’s backs is fucking wrong.”
“Why? Why is it so wrong? I’m not a child anymore. I’m twenty-four years old. I know you’re ancient and all, but fuck.” I grinned, trying to lighten the mood.
He chuckled, “You little shit.”
“We’ll figure it out. He has a right to know. They all do.”
He nodded, knowing I was right. “I won’t lose you ever again. You’re mine, Lillian.”
The possessiveness of his words radiated all around me. His voice making me feel warm all over.
I beamed, peeking up at him through my lashes. I secretly loved it when he called me by my full name. It made me feel older for some reason. I know it didn’t make any sense, what woman wanted to be older? No one would understand until they knew our history and walked a mile in my shoes. It took us a long time to get to this point, but we made it here nonetheless. Nowhere near where we needed to be. God only knows if we would ever get to that point.
Have you ever wanted something so badly that it consumed your very being? Something that you could practically taste on your tongue? Something that was all you thought about, day in and day out?
The feeling is so intense that it becomes a part of you. You could feel it under your skin, in your heart, consuming your mind.
That was Jacob to me.
He was my core.
I couldn’t remember a time when I didn’t want him.
When I didn’t think about him.
When I didn’t love him.
He put his arms around me, engulfing me in nothing but his sce
nt and strong hold. He towered over me, making me feel so tiny against him. I loved that, too.
I stood on the tips of my toes, nestling my face in the crook of his neck and murmured, “Stay with me tonight.” Rubbing my nose back and forth on his skin.
“You know I can’t,” he groaned. I knew my touch had an effect on him.
“I know you’re old and it’s way past your bedtime. I mean you are thirty-one after all.”
He bit my neck making me yelp.
“Watch it.”
I giggled, “Stay. I’ll let you do things to me.”
“Right.” I knew he was grinning, I felt it against my cheek. “Because that’s a problem. I can’t keep clothes on you. All you want is for me to do things to you.”
“All the more reason for you to stay.”
“Kid, you’re staying here tonight, in his house.”
“So…”
“So?”
“He won’t know, I promise. It will be our little secret,” I tempted, using the same phrase I had since the beginning. Since our beginning. He pulled away and I followed suit. Jacob looked deep into my eyes with a perceptive smile on his face, reading my mind.
He was everything to me.
My heart.
My soul.
I was his…
My body.
My mind.
It had been and always would be that way.
Except, there was one problem. The same problem we’ve had since the beginning, and we were about to face it sooner than we thought.
The ocean breeze blowing the thin white curtains did little to cool the heat between us. I swear that girl had one temperature. Hot. Not in a good way either. But damn, she was so fucking adorable when she slept. She was always on my side of the bed, as close to me as possible, half of her body draped over mine. She didn’t weigh more than a hundred and five pounds wet, but she always managed to take up the entire bed, no matter what size it was. She claimed that lobsters were supposed to sleep like that.
I guess we were fucking lobsters.
I never understood half the shit that came out of her mouth, but I loved her despite it. She was much wiser than her years. No one was like Lily. Trust me I would know. I had fucked enough women in an attempt to get her out of my heart.
No one even came close.
No one.
“Hey, you leaving me?” she asked in a sleepy voice. She hated getting up early. The girl could sleep all morning if I let her.
I kissed her closed eyes and tried to scoot away. “Hell, yeah. I should have left last night.”
“Where would the fun be in that?” She grabbed the edge of my boxers and pulled me toward her.
“Give me a curl, it’s cold.”
I hesitantly laid my body on top of hers, caging her in with my arms framing her face. I could never say no to her, which had always been one of our problems.
One.
She grinned not opening her eyes. “Mmm… so much better,” she sighed contently. “My friend is up.” She kissed my neck and along my jawline.
“I have to go.”
“No, you have to stay.”
“Kid—” She rocked her pussy against my hard cock, breaking my train of thought and flipping me over.
“The sun’s not even up yet. I’ve never seen Lucas get up before noon.” She tugged at my boxers, pulling them down and freeing my dick.
I should have thought about how things were different now. Lucas. The house. Everything, but I didn’t. I knew in the back of my mind that I would be regretting my decision to not leave, to stay here with her. That was the beauty of Lily, when I was with her nothing else mattered, everything faded to black but her.
Lily was my own personal inferno.
Consuming. Intense. Destructive.
She kissed her way down my chest. Never taking her eyes off mine, she slid my cock into her warm, welcoming mouth. My back arched off the bed and my hand went to the back of her neck, gripping and pushing her throat deeper down my shaft.
“Fuck,” I groaned, watching her naked body sway as she made love to me with her mouth. I sat up to get a better view and touch her, but before I even reached for her the door opened and I locked eyes with Lucas.
My heart dropped.
His murderous stare went from me to Lily, who was still…
Fucking. Blowing. Me.
“I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!” he screamed while he lunged toward me at the same time.
Lily shrieked, jumping off the bed, allowing me to back away just in time to try and cover her with my body. The sheer white sheet wasn’t doing much to shield her naked body. I fucking told her I needed to leave last night. I knew something like this was bound to happen.
“You need to calm down, Lucas,” I coaxed with my hands out in front of me, grabbing my boxers from the edge of the bed and throwing them on. Not that it helped our current situation. It couldn’t get any worse.
“Lucas, stop it! I love him!” Lily shouted behind me.
Fuck! Yes, it could.
His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open, all the color draining from his face.
She didn’t falter, not that I expected her to. She never knew how to keep her damn mouth shut. “Lucas, I’ve loved him since I was a kid. You of all people should understand. Get over it!”
I turned around and glared at her. “You aren’t helping,” I gritted out.
She shook her head. “I don’t care. I love you and it’s time he knows! It’s none of his business anyway.”
“Luc—” His fist connected with my jaw before I even got his name out. My head whooshed back, taking half of my body with it. I stumbled, shaking it off, meeting his intense gaze.
I never thought it would come to this…
Bullshit…
Yes, I did.
Which is why I tried like hell to stay away from my best friend’s baby sister.
I wouldn’t say I was a nosey child, more like a curious one. I loved to read and watch documentaries that would make my older brother Lucas fall asleep. We were six, almost seven years apart. I was ten years old and he was sixteen. My mom used to say that I was a happy surprise, but I’m not stupid, I knew I was an accident. Lucas was never mean to me. He wasn’t like most of my friend’s brothers. He never picked on me or called me names. He never made me feel like I wasn’t wanted.
We were always close.
He loved and protected me, often letting me hang out with him and his best friends, who were also like brothers to me. Dylan McGraw was almost seventeen and had hazel eyes with long blonde hair that went past his ears. I loved to tease him, telling him he had a girl’s hairstyle. His girlfriend Aubrey didn’t seem to care, I guess that’s all that mattered. Austin Taylor was the youngest of the bunch. He was fifteen and had red hair, bright green eyes, and freckles all over his body. He used to let me connect the dots on his arms with a pen. I made all sorts of designs, and later in life he actually got one tattooed on his body.
Then there was Jacob Foster. The thought of him alone made my belly flutter. He was the oldest, already seventeen, but I didn’t care… he was my lobster. I loved him. He had called me Kid since the day I was born or so I was told. I used to hate it because I never wanted him to see me as a kid, but there would come a time where I would long to hear him call me just that. He had vibrant green eyes that spoke for themselves. I think he got that from his mom. He didn’t have any resemblance to his dad, not even a little bit. His two younger sisters were a mixture of both of them, but Jacob was like his own person, just carrying a few of his mom’s features. I could always tell his mood through his eyes, they would change to all different shades of green depending on his feelings. His eyes were like a living mood ring. He was tall, way taller than me, but it didn’t matter. I knew one day I would grow up and he wouldn’t be the giant that towered over me anymore. He was also much broader than the other boys with defined facial features. I think he was born with a ball cap on his head, he never took it off. Th
e only time he ever did was when I would steal it off his head and put it on mine. It made me feel safe, like no one could hurt me when his hat was on my head.
My friends were all in love with my brother, which naturally I thought was disgusting. His dark hair and bright blue eyes had girls falling all over him since the day he was born, but it didn’t matter. He already had his lobster and her name was Half-Pint, well not really, that’s just what everyone called her. Her actual name was Alexandra, Alex for short. She was fourteen with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes like me. Lucas told me all the time that I reminded him of her. I didn’t think so. I loved her. They loved each other. You would be a fool not to notice.
The boys didn’t.
So I learned early on in life that boys were stupid.
Alex put up with way too much crap, from Lucas, from the boys, and from our families. I marched to the strings of my own guitar. If you didn’t like it, too bad. You know where you could go…
Well, I don’t want to brag or anything but I could sing and play the guitar like nobody’s business. My mom used to say that I came out singing. That I sang before I could even talk. It was my God-given talent. Music had always been an outlet for me, I could always express myself through lyrics. It was therapeutic for me to get lost in the symmetry of words and rhythm. I showed enough natural talent with a guitar that my parents put me in lessons by the time I was six. Now my guitar never left my side.
You could usually find me hanging out in my room playing and singing at any time of the day, especially during the summer.
“Hey, Kid.”
Jacob…
I beamed, looking up at him from my bed with my guitar in my lap.
“New tunes?”
I enthusiastically nodded. He always noticed when I played new songs, which is why I often tried to learn new ones.
“I like it.”
I smiled, big and wide, sweeping my hair behind my ears so he could see my face light up for him. He walked over to my desk and pulled out my chair to sit. I knew what he wanted. Jacob loved the classics like Jimmy Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, Santana, Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Rolling Stones, and Aerosmith. I had no idea who those people were, but I looked them up on my computer. I even bought music sheets with my allowance so I could play for him, begging my instructor to teach me how to play Jacob’s favorites. Some of them were complicated songs, but to his astonishment I picked them up quickly. It only motivated him to teach me faster.