As Dad began discussing his plans to contact Mr. Miller the following morning to arrange a meeting between the families, I wrapped my arms around my belly and said a silent prayer that I’d be able to convince Noah to consider my idea.
Somehow, I had to make him listen.
27
Noah
Neither Abram nor Father spoke during the buggy ride. We crossed over the darkened roadway in eerie silence at a fast clip, and I wasn’t at all sure where we were going until we pulled into the Hershbergers’ driveway. When I realized who we were going to speak to, my heartbeat sped up.
The gas lamp was burning in James’s leather workshop, and that’s where Abram parked the buggy. James was the only person in the building, and he was perched on a stool at the counter. He was tinkering with his heavy-duty sewing machine that could stitch both saddle and harness leather and barely looked up when we entered.
I followed Abram and Father to the counter and leaned against it, waiting impatiently for James to acknowledge us.
Finally James set the thick string down and sat up. He nodded and said, “I must say you got here right quick, Abram.”
“These are difficult times that require immediate action.”
James motioned for Father to come closer before speaking in a quiet voice.
I trusted the man. He’d always been a good friend to our family, and I knew he’d been kind to Rose during the months she’d lived with him and his wife, Ruth, as their foster daughter.
“I had an unexpected visit today from Elijah and Mervin.”
“What did they want?” Father asked with reluctance in his voice.
James sighed heavily and shook his head. “I wouldn’t have believed it of Amish men, even those two, if they hadn’t come directly to me.” James focused on Father and went on to say, “They are preparing the community for a vote against you, Amos. They want you removed as minister, saying that they have proof that Noah is secretly seeing Rose again, and that you are in support of the relationship. Now that the girl has gone back to her English world, she’s off-limits for Noah, you know, and this business could bring our people down on you, my friend.”
I’d held my breath while James was speaking but couldn’t keep my mouth shut a second longer.
“What proof could they have?” I exclaimed.
“Ella…and your wife, Abram.” James said the last part in almost a whisper.
Both Father and I swiveled to look at Abram’s reaction. Unfortunately, he didn’t seem surprised by what James had said.
Abram said, “Let’s start with Ella—what’s her involvement?”
“She told her father that she saw Noah slip into Rose’s truck at the benefit dinner. That young woman is too interested in other people’s business, if you ask me,” James complained.
“And what of Martha, James—what does she know?” Father asked.
I fidgeted at the counter, only casting a quick sideways glance at Abram. The tall man was stroking his long, snowy beard thoughtfully. He held no hint of anxiousness or irritation at Father’s question.
“She passed by the Camerons’ place today and saw Noah making his way up their driveway. She reckoned that since it was broad daylight, the visit must have been sanctioned by you, Amos.”
Father turned to Abram and said, “You knew of this?” When Abram nodded his head, Father went on to ask, “Then why didn’t you ask me yourself of it?”
“The matters of our children can blur the path of righteousness in our eyes. Look what pride has done to Elijah and his kin— Caused a right mess in our usually tranquil community. He is blinded by anger, and he’ll someday have to face his own sins…but you, Amos, are walking a fine line yourself when it comes to Noah and his obsession with Rose. I understand the difficulties that your family has endured this past year, and even I became quite fond of the girl, but as your bishop, I need to know now if the accusations are correct, so that we can act accordingly.”
Before I had the chance to blurt out my own defense of Father, he spoke up himself.
“It is true, and I’m a better man for getting it out in the open.” Father glanced my way with confidence and then turned back to the other men. “Abram, you advised me to keep the children apart until after Rose came of age and rejoined the church. I agreed with you wholeheartedly, except that I knew it would be impossible to keep Noah away from her. Instead of creating a situation where he would fall into sin, I decided to treat him as a responsible man. I felt that if he had the opportunity to spend some private time with her during their public separation, the ordeal would be easier for both of them to handle.” He paused and gave me a stern look before saying, “But I had no idea the two planned to meet in her truck at the auction.”
James nodded his head in understanding, but Abram’s tight lips showed that he wasn’t swayed.
“You can’t change the rules of courting conduct for your child, Amos. That’s unacceptable. I can see where Elijah’s and Mervin’s ill feelings are coming from. If each parent were allowed to set up their own courtship guidelines, our church would be full of all kinds of mischief and trouble. Our Ordnung allows the young people to begin courting only after they’ve joined the church. We have strict laws about this being a hands-off courting community where the couples are chaperoned at all times.”
“Noah and Rose’s predicament is not that usual for our children. They tried to do everything right, but others were working against them. Surely, you won’t hold this against Amos’s position within the church?” James said.
“There is no way around it. There must be a vote—the sooner the better, so that this matter can be settled once and for all, and we can return Meadowview to the peaceful community it once was.”
I’d stayed silent long enough. As Abram was turning to leave, I grabbed his arm and stopped him. “Wait, Abram, please, don’t hold my disobedience against my father. He’s always done right by the church. Up until now, he’s been one of the most respected men in the community.”
Abram looked at me sadly, and I knew it was no use.
“I’m sorry, Noah. This has nothing to do with your actions. You were given permission from Amos to do something that went against our Ordnung by allowing you to see Rose alone, a girl who is not even a member of the church. He’ll have to answer himself to our people on the matter.” He looked at Father and said, “I’ll take you both home now.”
“It’s all right, Abram, I’ll drive them with my horse. I need Noah’s help with some lifting here in the shop. My back is still giving me fits.”
“All right, then.” Abram tipped his hat toward us. “There’s always a chance that a vote could go your way, Amos. Either way, I wish you find peace with your decisions and are able to move on from this business.” As an afterthought, before he crossed the threshold, he turned back and said, “Do be careful tomorrow—there’s supposed to be strong storms blowing in. Good night, all.”
Once Abram had left, Father and James immediately got down to business. James pulled out a piece of paper and began writing names down in two columns. The two men talked late into the night, assessing which way each member of the church would vote.
I sat quietly listening to them but not really hearing their words. My thoughts were deep and troubled.
Even if Father somehow managed to win the vote, he’d still have a much larger issue on the horizon to deal with. Our people might understand him allowing me to sneak an occasional visit with Rose in, but they’d never forgive him for keeping Rose’s pregnancy secret, which was a much more serious matter.
Father was doomed to lose his position as minister within the church…and all because of me. I knew what I had to do, but just thinking about it tightened my gut into a knot.
There was only one way I could save Father—but it certainly wouldn’t be easy on any of us, espe
cially Rose.
* * *
Pulling back on the reins, I said, “Whoa,” and parked the buggy. My uneasiness grew as my feet touched the ground. Father’s hand on my shoulder didn’t erase the ill feelings while we walked toward the house with Mother beside us.
It was all happening so fast. When David Cameron had called that morning, Father and I were tiredly climbing into the work truck. It had been the early hours of the morning when James had finally returned us to the house. Within minutes of the call, Father had instructed Mr. Denton to pick up Jacob and head to the building site without us.
This meeting between the Miller and the Cameron family was too important to put off. Even though I was relieved to be getting it over with quickly, I couldn’t help being afraid of the outcome. There had been several times when Rose’s father had been difficult to deal with. The man may have saved my life, but he certainly wasn’t a fan of mine. I hoped in time his feelings would change and he’d come to accept me and Rose being together, although I expected it to be a long wait.
Looking up at the dark gray clouds building overhead, I remembered what Abram had said the night before about storms developing. It seemed appropriate that the weather was as turbulent as our lives, I thought as Father stepped up to rap on the large door.
Before his hand touched the wood, the door opened.
David said, “Hello,” stiffly and motioned us to enter.
He guided us into the kitchen, and my heart sped up when I saw Rose already seated at the table. David’s girlfriend sat close beside her. Tina’s bright purple skirt suit contrasted wildly with the subdued powdery blue of the room, but I was glad to have her there. She seemed to have a calming influence over David, which, unfortunately, might be needed today. My eyes passed over the woman just long enough to feel her apprehension before settling on Rose.
She smiled but looked tired. Dark rings were visible beneath her eyes, and her skin was pale. I wanted to pull her into my arms and comfort her, erase all her fears, but I obeyed Father’s instructions and didn’t let my emotions show in front of David. But I did try to convey my feelings with a long gaze and reassuring smile in return.
“Would any of you like coffee?” David asked.
“Yes, that would be wonderful. Rebecca and I will each have a cup,” Father said.
I shook my head and took the seat across from Rose. My stomach was too unsettled for coffee this morning.
A minute later we were all seated, and Dr. Cameron finally spoke again. “I assume you all know the predicament that our children are in.”
Father nodded solemnly and said, “Yes, Noah spoke to us last night of it.”
David chuckled, saying, “So you’ve been in the dark for as long as I have. That makes me feel a little bit better.”
“I must admit, we’re still getting used to the idea of this unexpected grandchild, but, God willing, Noah and Rose’s path will be free of more hardships.”
The tension in the room spiked after Father spoke, and I shifted my gaze from Rose’s wide eyes to David’s narrowing ones.
When David spoke, his voice had lost some of the earlier friendliness.
“That’s what we’re here to discuss. Rose has informed me that she plans to keep the baby.”
Anger took hold of me, and I said, “There’s never been a question of that.”
David faced me and wagged a finger. “Don’t raise your voice with me, young man. Your thoughtlessness has caused this mess.”
“Mess—is that what you think our baby is—a mess?” I said, beginning to stand. Father’s hand caught me and tugged me down.
Tina placed her arm around Rose protectively, and rushed to say, “That’s not what he meant, Noah. You have to understand that he’s upset.”
“I accept your anger, David, and I wish I could undo my son’s actions, but I can’t. We must begin making plans for the future now, and put the past behind us.”
With a more controlled voice, David asked, “What are your plans?”
Father hesitated and glanced at Mother, who’d been quiet so far. Father usually took the lead in family matters, but sometimes Mother spoke her mind. Up until that point, she’d kept her eyes downcast and avoided the conversation altogether as she sat with her black coat buttoned up to her chin.
Now, she lifted her gaze and reached over the table for Rose’s hands. She had her long, dark brown hair covered neatly with her white cap, and her head bobbed up and down a couple of times before she said, “My dear Rose, I hope you are feeling well. If there’s anything at all I can do for you, please let me know. I have a recipe for a peppermint tea that helps chase away nausea. If you’re in need of it, I’ll bring a teapot over this afternoon.”
Mother’s words pushed the tension from the room. She was focused on the heart of the issue and understood how the arguing would affect Rose. Her offer was a way to tell Rose that she accepted the situation and would help her through it. My gut tightened, and I looked away, not wanting anyone to see how Mother’s display had affected me.
“That sounds really good, Mrs. Miller. I could definitely use some of that tea.”
David cleared his throat, and we all turned back to him.
“Of course, I understand your interest in the pregnancy, and I appreciate your kindness, but I think you might be mistaken about how things are going to be. Rose is not going to immediately run off and become Amish because of this pregnancy. I don’t want her rushing into a serious commitment with your son.”
“I see your concern, but as parents, the matter is out of our hands,” Father said.
“Rose is still underage, and I won’t give my approval for her to ruin her life. A baby is one thing…joining your culture is something altogether different. I won’t be a part of her downfall.”
Rose bolted out of the chair and shouted, “I want to marry Noah! It’s our lives—why can’t you all just leave us alone?”
Rose ran out the door with tears streaming down her cheeks. Before the screen door slammed shut, I was out of my chair, following her, but I stopped and turned to yell, “Why are you all making this so difficult for her…for us? I promise you, we’ll be together, with or without your support.”
A stiff, warm wind that was charged with energy touched my skin as I ran through the yard after her. She was heading for the barn, and I glanced over my shoulder, grateful that we weren’t being followed.
When I reached the shaded interior of the barn, I found her leaning against the stall door with her face in her hands.
“Rose, sweetheart, don’t cry. It’ll be all right, I promise.”
She came into my arms, and I held her tightly against me as I smoothed her hair down her back with my hand.
“It’s hopeless. Why is everything so difficult?” She sniffed into my shirt as she spoke.
“Because I’m Amish and you’re not.”
Rose pulled back and looked up at me with glistening eyes.
“What are we going to do?”
I thought for a minute about the different ways I could tell her of the plan I’d come up with after meeting with James. A plan I hoped would save Father’s reputation within the community and also hide us from her own father’s angry intrusion in our lives. I was afraid, though, instinctively knowing that Rose wouldn’t be happy about it.
After staring into her wide eyes for a few more seconds, I decided to just say it bluntly. With our need to hurry, there really wasn’t time for coaxing.
“If your father doesn’t come around soon, we’ll leave together. We can go to my grandparents’ community in Pennsylvania or maybe even Indiana. I have kin there, too.”
She stared out the barn door, her face scrunched in thought for a minute before she finally spoke.
“If we ran away, would we have to go to an Amish community? I thought your fam
ily was the main reason you wanted to remain Amish. If we can’t stay in touch with them, why be Amish at all?”
I wasn’t surprised by her question, but my body tensed, anyway.
“There will be work for me, and we’ll have lodging. You’ll have women to help you through the pregnancy and delivery. Once your birthday arrives, we can come back here…or maybe we’ll choose to stay in a new place. Heaven knows, I’m tired of dealing with the problems here.”
“You’d leave your family forever? I thought that’s the one thing you didn’t want to do.”
“It’s not the same as being shunned, Rose. We’d be free to visit each other and have normal relations with our family and friends here.”
“Is staying Amish the most important thing to you?” There was a hard note in Rose’s voice that worried me.
“No, you and the baby are more important to me than anything else. I just don’t want to make any more mistakes. I’ve gone against my parents’ and the church’s rules for too long. Only heartache has come of it.”
Rose took my hand and held it to her belly when she said, “This is heartache?”
I shook my head and met her gaze solidly. “No, sweetheart, besides meeting you, it’s the most wonderful thing to happen to me. I just wish we’d gone about it the right way. You know, us getting married and then having the baby.”
“It’s their fault. If everyone had left us alone, all the bad things wouldn’t have happened. We could have dated like normal people.”
I shook my head sadly at her naivete.
“It never would have been normal for us. We’re different, you and I, from other worlds.”
“But we love each other.”
“Yes, we do, but that doesn’t make it easier. Maybe it makes it more difficult.” I paused and touched her chin with my fingers lifting it. “Will you go away with me to start a fresh life in another community?”
With steady eyes, she said, “Do you really love me, Noah?”
“With all my heart.”