“I’m pretty sure Connor gave up on me.”
“Sweetie, you don’t know that for sure,” he pulled me closer. He sat with me on the floor while I cried. “Maybe he just is giving the two of you some space.”
“I don’t know. Peyton said he’s acting normal. How the fuck can he act normal when I’m a total mess?”
“Guys are different Elle; they don’t wear their heart on their sleeves like women do. Give him some time; I’m sure he’s just as upset but not letting Peyton know it.” I shook my head and got up from the floor.
“Thanks Mason, I appreciate it.” He hugged me tight and left to go back to his apartment.
I spent the rest of the day painting a vision I had in my mind of a Cape Cod style house that sat surrounded by grass. I envisioned a short stone wall that went around the property, and an archway that led to steps going down to a small private beach with a boat and a lighthouse. I was going to paint two versions, one day and one night. I had nothing but time on my hands and painting was my escape from this reality, into another with peace and tranquility.
Chapter 31
I took my 15 pills every morning and every night my body shook for an hour straight. So far, that was the only side effect I had and after what chemo did to me, that was a piece of cake. I occupied the last couple of weeks by absorbing myself into my artwork and spending time with Mason and Landon. They quickly became my best friends in California. Even though I tried to keep myself busy, I thought about Connor every day and night. Peyton kept me updated and nothing had changed; he wasn’t doing anything to find me.
The loneliness I felt was beyond anything I ever experienced before. When we were apart in New York, I had the comfort of knowing he was in the same city and that we would eventually run into each other; but he’s not here in California and the loneliness factor is ten times worse. I checked my email every day hoping he would send me one, but he didn’t and I didn’t because it was obvious he was over me. I would pull his picture up online and put my wrist over my heart. Sometimes just seeing a picture of him eased the pain, but most of the time it made it worse.
In two days I get my first set of injections. I was nervous not knowing what effects it will have on me, so I decided to take the morning and run to the store. I needed to stock up on some things in case I couldn’t leave the apartment. I put on my khaki shorts, a black tank top and a pair of black strappy sandals I picked up on sale when I first moved here. I stopped by Mason and Landon’s apartment to ask if they needed me to pick up anything; they graciously said no but appreciated the thought. I walked down the street and around the corner to Trader Joes and picked up some things to stock my refrigerator. I took in the warmth of the California sun as I headed back to the apartment.
I reached down in my bag and pulled out the Twix bar I desperately craved. I looked up as I almost reached the building and came to a standstill when I saw him leaning against the side of a black convertible Porsche. He looked at me and smiled.
“You’re a hard woman to find Miss Lane.”
It felt like life was breathed into me again as my heart started racing. I let my bags fall to the ground and ran to him as fast as I could. He was no longer leaning against the car when I jumped up and wrapped my legs and arms around him. He caught me by wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight.
“Oh baby, I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered in my ear.
“I missed you and I’m sorry.”
“Shh…no apologies, the only thing that matters is that I found you and your safe.”
I lifted my head up, cupped his face in my hands and kissed him passionately. Our tongues met with excitement and exhilaration as our long-lost kiss left us breathless. Tears started running down my face as he put me down and softly wiped my cheeks with his thumb.
“Let me look at you?” he said as he spun me around. He grabbed me and held me tight. “You look just as beautiful as when you left.”
Mason and Landon emerged from their apartment clapping. I turned my head and smiled, “Guys this is…”
Mason held up his hand, “We already met this gorgeous man Elle.” I looked at them and then at Connor.
“What? How?”
“Your hot sexy boy toy came to the rental office and wanted to know if you were renting an apartment here and we said YES! We told him you ran to the store but you’d be right back.”
Connor kissed the top of my head, “You have some great friends here.”
I hugged him again as Mason and Landon walked over and picked up the bags I dropped on the cement. Connor put his arm around me as we walked up to the building.
“See, no private entrance,” I smiled.
“You’re learning,” he lightly laughed.
I took him up to my apartment. Mason and Landon stepped inside, put the bags on the counter and quickly left as Landon gave me a wink. Connor turned and ran his finger along my jaw line and over my lips.
“You have a lot of explaining to do, but first I’m going to make love to you.”
I gasped as my body quivered. He lightly brushed his lips against mine as his tongue trailed down my neck. “You taste so good, it’s been too long Ellery; I need you. I need to be inside you.”
His words sounded desperate as was my body begging him to take me. He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom, his lips never leaving mine. He set me down in front of the bed and lifted my shirt over my head, tossing it to the side. His hands ran up and down my sides and over my hips as he let out a light moan. He unhooked my bra as it fell to the floor. His hands were cupping my breasts and fingering my nipples as his tongue explored my navel. He found his way up to my breasts, lightly biting my nipple while removing my shorts. My body was on fire and the ache I felt for him was an ache much stronger than before. He didn’t even need to touch me; my body was in a constant state of ache whenever he was near me.
I brought his face to mine and kissed him letting him know how much I needed and wanted him. He groaned as my hands took off his shirt and my nails lightly dug into his back. He broke from me as he kicked off his shoes and took down his pants. I stared at his masculine body as the fire in my body raged. He put his arms around me as he gently laid me on the bed hovering over me and staring into my eyes.
“You make me feel alive, like no one ever has.”
I ran my hands through his perfectly tousled hair and brought him in for a kiss. His hands traveled from my breasts down to the edge of my panties. He pressed his erection into me as I arched my back begging for more. He slid his hand down to the front of my panties and moaned, “Ellery, you’re so wet.”
“This is what you do to me Connor, feel every bit of it.”
He slid his fingers inside me and gently worked them around as his thumb circled around me, arousing me more than I already was. The ache was getting unbearable.
“I want you to come now Ellery, while my fingers are inside of you, pleasuring you.” His words sent me into oblivion as I screamed out from the amazing orgasm this man gave me. “That’s my girl,” he smiled.
With him still hovering over me and his tongue circling my nipple, I reached down and grabbed his erection, gently stroking it and feeling the wetness as I lightly moved my thumb over the tip. He groaned, “Oh god Ellery.”
His lips moved to mine as I pushed him off me and got on top. He smiled and bit his bottom lip. I wanted to take control of him; I wanted to pleasure him as much as he did me. I straddled him as I took him inside me, gently moving up and down. His hands traveled over my breasts as he took my nipples between his fingers.
“You are so beautiful, especially when I see you like this,” he groaned.
I was swelling as I moved back and forth preparing for my next release. My hands were planted firmly on his chest as his were planted on my hips, moving me up and down.
“Look at me Ellery; I need to see you come.”
I looked directly in his eyes as our breathing was heavy and I moved up and down, back and forth, f
aster and faster. His moans grew louder as his eyes never left mine.
“Don’t come yet baby, I want us to come together,” he panted.
He flexed his hips under me so he was deeper inside, I didn’t think it was possible but he was. He moved up and down with me as our bodies became one.
“Scream for me baby, I want to hear what I do to you.”
That sent me over the top as I couldn’t hold back anymore and neither could he; one final thrust as we both came together never taking our eyes off one another.
I collapsed onto his chest and buried my head into his neck. I laid there as he rubbed his hands up and down my back and I lightly kissed his neck, taking in his incredible scent. Our heart rates slowed as did our breathing. He rolled me off of him and onto my side as he faced me, pushing my hair back behind my ear not saying a word. He didn’t need to say anything; I knew exactly what he was feeling just by his stare and his touch. I never wanted to leave this position; I wanted to stay like this forever.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said. I took his hand and brought it up to my mouth.
“I was thinking about how happy I am you found me.” He smiled in the way that made me ache for him.
“I told you I would find you, remember I’m a stalker.” I laughed and ran my fingers up and down his arm.
“You can stalk me any day Mr. Black.”
He sat up and pulled me closer so my head was resting on his chest.
“How did you find me?” I asked.
He kissed me on the top of my head, “I’ll tell you everything and you’ll tell me everything while we go grab something to eat, I’m starving.”
I lifted my head and frowned at him, “You mean we have to leave this bed?”
“Yes darling, but trust me, we’ll be back in it soon enough.”
I reached up and kissed him on the lips and we got out of bed. We redressed ourselves and headed to the main room of the apartment.
“This apartment is really nice, better than the one in New York.” I hit him on the arm as I walked past.
“Hey, I like my little box in New York.”
He smiled and walked to the kitchen. He stopped as he stared at the 15 bottles of pills all lined up in a row on the counter. He picked up one of the bottles and starting reading the label.
“Care to explain what these are?” He asked as he gave me a pained look. I took his hands and led him over to the couch.
“I’m in a trial study, that’s why I came out here.” He started to interrupt as I put my finger over his mouth, “Let me finish.”
He smiled as he took my finger in his mouth and sucked on it. I giggled and removed it as I continued, “I have to take these pills every day. Once a month I go to the hospital and get a set of 3 injections, it’s called some type of Immunotherapy. I have to do this for a period of 3 months. Once I complete the 3 months, the doctor will test my blood to see if the cancer is gone; if not then I will continue for another 3 months. I don’t even know if it’s going to work,” I said as I looked down.
He lifted my chin so I was looking at him, “It will work; It has to work.”
“It’s only a trial Connor; it’s the first time it’s being done on humans so right now I don’t know what to think.”
“You’re strong Elle, you’re the strongest and most stubborn person I have ever met in my life and if anybody can pull through this it’s you, but you have to stop running away from me.” I took his hand that was stroking my cheek.
“I know; I’m just so scared.”
He grabbed my hands and turned them over as he looked at my tattoos and lightly kissed each on. “Don’t be scared, I’m here and I’m going to help you through this. Even if this trial doesn’t work, it doesn’t matter because I will fly you around the world and find you the treatment that will work because,” he took in a deep breath, “I love you Ellery Lane and I will protect you.”
Tears streamed down my face as I heard the words that he never spoke to anyone before. I hugged him as tight as I could and whispered into his ear, “I love you to.” His fingers wrapped around the bottom of my shirt as he gently lifted it off me. My heart started racing as he leaned me back on the couch and we made love.
Chapter 32
Connor emerged from the bathroom as I was putting my shoes on. “Nice touch by the way.” I spun around and looked at him.
“Nice touch?” I asked.
“Yes, throwing your phone in the trash at the airport in Michigan.”
I crinkled my nose, “Yeah I knew you would trace it so I had to get rid of it. By the way, how did you find me and why did it take you so long?”
He smiled, “Do you want the truth or do you want me to tell you what YOU want to hear?”
I looked at him from across the room and cocked my head, “Huh? I want the truth.”
He laughed, “Ok, but you need to promise me you won’t get mad at me,” he said as he walked towards me but kept a distance.
I bit my bottom lip and narrowed my eyes, “Ok, I promise.”
“I actually found you in less than a week.” He could see the anger brewing as I clenched my jaw and moved it back and forth.
“Hey, you promised.”
I swallowed hard, “Continue.”
“You need to remember Ellery, with the kind of money I have, I can do and find out just about anything. I will hand it to you though, I loved the way you paid off the girl at the ticket counter to put your ticket under a different name, but unfortunately she liked my money more.”
“Ugh, you sneak.”
He laughed, “Shall I continue?” I shook my head and crossed my arms.
“Don’t get mad at me for what I’m about to tell you,” he nervously said as he ran his hands through his hair. “I had my tech guy hack into your computer through your IP address.”
My breathing became heavy as my eyes widened in disbelief. “That’s when I saw you were looking up a Doctor Murphy, so I did some research and that’s what led me here.”
I clenched my fists and walked towards him, he put his hands up in front of him, “You promised you wouldn’t get mad.”
“That was before I knew you hacked into my computer you stalker.”
He grabbed my wrists as I approached him and held me back, “I really don’t want you slapping me again that really hurt.”
“Oh you don’t have to worry about me slapping you; I’m going to punch you instead.” He laughed and kissed my fists and wrapped his arms around me.
“Tell me one more thing,” I asked.
“What do you want to know baby?”
“If you knew in less than a week I was here, why did you wait so long to come?” The pain in my voice was apparent and he knew it as he sighed and looked at me.
“You didn’t want to be found so quickly and I was giving you time; did you really think I would let you spend your birthday alone?”
I looked at him and smiled as I buried my head in his chest. Tomorrow was my 24th birthday.
We walked hand in hand to the beach as he spread out the blanket over the warm sand and I set the basket on it.
“You know, we could have just gone to a restaurant?”
I smacked his arm, “I love the beach and nothing is more romantic than having a picnic here.”
He smiled as he put his arm around me, “Sex on the beach is just as romantic; can we do that to?”
My skin ignited when he said that as that familiar ache appeared, “Look around the area my dear; there are children around.” He laughed and opened up the picnic basket, took out a strawberry and seductively fed it to me. I moaned as I bit into it.
“If you keep doing that it’s not going to matter if there’s people around here, I’m going to take you right here and now,” he whispered.
I smiled and bit my lip, “Down boy, there’s plenty of time for that.”
We ate, talked and enjoyed the warmth of the sun. I leaned over to kiss Connor when a little girl, about 5 years old, came and ta
pped me on the shoulder, “I can’t find my mommy,” she whined.
“What does your mommy look like?” I asked her. She rubbed her eyes with her small hands. “Her hair is like yours.”
“Well, that certainly narrows it down,” Connor said. I shot him a look and he shrugged his shoulders.
“Come on sweetie, let’s see if we can find her but first what is your name?”
She tilted her head and closed one eye, “Chloe.”
“Nice to meet you Chloe, I’m Ellery and this is my friend Connor,” I said as I shook her little hand. Connor looked at me and then at her small hand that extended out to him.
“Nice to meet you Chloe,” he smiled.
The way he shook her hand made me melt inside, so gentle and pure. I got up and took her by the hand and motioned for Connor to do the same. He got up and took her other hand as we walked her up and down the beach. I heard a woman yell Chloe’s name. Connor and I turned around as the small woman with blonde wavy hair came running up to her and hugging her tight.
“Chloe, you scared me.”
She stood up and looked at me and Connor, “Thank you so much for taking care of her.”
I was surprised when Connor spoke out. “No problem, but you need to keep a closer eye on her.” She shot him a look and took Chloe by the hand and walked away.
“Connor, that wasn’t very nice.”
He sighed. “Look at her, she looks all of what 19 or 20? She shouldn’t even have a kid; she’s still a kid herself.”
I wasn’t sure where that came from, but I had a suspicion it had something to do with his sister. We walked back to the blanket; he spread his legs and pulled me in between them as my back laid into his firm chest.
“The very last memory I have of my mom was at the beach. I think that’s why I love it so much; I feel closer to her when I’m here,” I softly said as I stared out into the blue ocean.
Connor tightened his grip around me and kissed the top of my head, “Tell me about your memory.” I lifted my head back as he leaned down and kissed my lips.