He swallows hard. “Are you done?”
I tip my head back and forth, giving it some thought. “For now.”
“It’s good to see you too. You look beautiful, by the way.”
I blink and frown at him. “I’m out of here.”
“Wait.” His hand covers mine before I can slide out of the booth. “Don’t go. You’re right. None of that was okay.”
“Okay.” I pull my hand out of his and watch him quietly. “Since we agree on that, now I get to ask you why.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “Why was I a douche?”
“You were an asshole, Jonathan. And I want to know why. What was it about me that was so unlovable? What gave you the right to make me feel less than, especially knowing my past with my parents.”
“Oh, Alecia, you are not unlovable. I’ll apologize first and foremost if I ever made you feel that way.”
My eyebrows lift in surprise.
“I was so in love with you I couldn’t see straight. You were beautiful and smart and so fucking talented.”
My jaw drops, and then I recover and simply scowl at him.
“If that’s how you treat someone you love, I really don’t want to know how you’d treat someone you can’t stand.”
“I was never good enough for you, Alecia. I knew that. I didn’t know why you were with me. And when you started your business and it became successful, I was worried.”
“Worried?”
“That you’d figure out that I wasn’t good enough for you. I dumbed it down, made it seem insignificant, because I was too much of a pussy to simply be proud of you. And the rest?” He shrugs and shakes his head. “I’ve been going through some therapy to figure it out. I knew I was hurting you, and I hated it, but I couldn’t stop.”
“What’s the verdict?”
“I’m a selfish jerk.”
“Pretty close,” I reply with a nod. “You do realize that being a complete asshole to someone that you’re afraid of losing is not the way to keep them.”
“Hey, no one said I was smart.”
His face sobers.
“Your parents didn’t deserve you, blondie. I sure as fuck didn’t deserve you either. But it didn’t have anything at all to do with you not being lovable.”
“It seems I’m the common denominator here, J.”
He shakes his head adamantly. “You had shitty luck when it came to the people who were in your life. And I’ve wanted to see you for a long time to say I’m sorry.”
“Well, this isn’t what I was expecting.”
“Were you going to rail at me, throw my coffee in my lap, and stomp off all self-righteously?”
“Something like that.”
“Well, before you do that, just know that I’m sorry for being a douche. You deserve someone who will love you and appreciate you in ways no one ever has before. I want that for you, blondie.”
“Thanks,” I whisper, and bite my lip to keep the tears at bay.
“You never came to get your piano or your other things. They’re still at the house. You can come get them whenever you want.”
“You didn’t sell the house?”
“No.”
“I don’t want the piano.” I sniff and shake my head, looking out the window to the waterfront.
“Seriously? But you’re so damn good at it.”
“I only ever played it for my parents. I won’t play it again.” I gaze over at my ex-husband and finally offer him a soft smile. “It was good to see you too, J.”
He reaches for my hand, and for just this moment, I let him.
It feels familiar, but it’s not the hand I want to hold mine. Not even close.
“I want you to shine, Alecia. And I want to tell you, right here in our place, I’m so fucking proud of you.”
I lean in and kiss his hand, then smile at him. “Thank you.”
And with that, I stand and walk away, not looking back.
Chapter Twenty One
~Dominic~
God, I’m so fucking tired. Being gone from my vineyard for ten days was too damn long. Celeste is fantastic, but I like things to be done a certain way, so I’ve done nothing for the past forty-eight hours but work and sleep, trying to shake this God-forsaken jet lag.
I hit send on an email, cementing a partnership with a new restaurant in the Portland area called Seduction, intrigued by the five owners, and make a mental note to take a trip down there soon to check it out.
I begin reading through an application for an event for this fall, and stumble when I see that it’s Alecia who is planning the affair.
I wish she’d talk to me. I’ve tried to call her several times over the past few weeks, but she’s not answered, and I refuse to beg her to answer the goddamn phone via text.
That’s just ridiculous.
I eye my phone and wonder just how ridiculous it really is, just as there’s a knock on my door, and am surprised to find Steven standing outside my office.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, as I stand and gesture for him to come inside. I close the door behind him.
“Oh, yes, I called earlier and Celeste said you were in today, so I thought I’d drop in and see how your trip went.”
“It was…necessary,” I reply and sit in my chair as he takes a seat before me. “But the issue seems to be resolved now.”
I secured a loan for Gianna, without telling her that I’m the one backing it, so she can get back on her feet. And I managed to have a heart-to-heart with Marco, right after I knocked him on his ass.
Both were immensely satisfying.
“I’m glad you’re home,” my father replies with a smile. He steeples his hands. “Did Alecia enjoy Italy?”
I lean back in my chair and shake my head. “She didn’t go.”
“Why not?”
I watch my father and consider lying, but instead I simply say, “I think I fucked up, and Alecia and I are done.”
He cocks a brow. “What did you do?”
I stand and turn my back to him, push my hands in my pockets and stare out the window that looks out over my land. The remnants from Will’s wedding are long gone, and it’s as though Alecia was never here.
Except that I see her everywhere I look.
“I thought I caught her having an affair with her best friend,” I admit softly. “I was angry. Hurt, actually.”
“Of course.”
“But now, I’m not so sure that what I saw was what it looked like, and I can’t get her to take my calls. I have a feeling she’s done with me.”
I sigh and turn back to him.
“So now, I need to know how I’m supposed to get her out of my system and move on.”
“Well, you know what they say about getting a woman out of your head, son. Put another one in your bed.”
My eyes narrow as anger shoots through me.
“I’m not interested in fucking someone else. I can’t hop from the bed of the woman I’m in love with to someone else’s. Maybe you can tell me how to do that, Dad.”
Steven doesn’t even flinch. “I deserve that.” He nods slowly for a moment.
“Yes, you do.”
“I think it’s very telling that you’re not interested in other women, Dom. Maybe it’s not as over as you think it is. Seems a shame to give up on something you worked so hard to have in your life.”
“She won’t speak to me,” I remind him. “And now that we’re on the subject, how could you do it? How could you bounce from Gail to my mom?”
“I didn’t bounce anywhere,” he replies coldly. “I thought my marriage was over, and I was an idiot. I regretted it for a long time. I don’t anymore.”
“Why?” I ask with surprise.
“Because of you.” He shrugs and then sighs. “You were the best part of your mother’s life, Dominic. I never saw her again, but I can guarantee you that much. And now we have you in our family, and I couldn’t be more thankful.”
“I disrupted your life, and I’m quite su
re I put undue stress on your marriage last year.”
“You did neither.” He waves me off and laughs ruefully. “My wife knew all about your mother not long after it happened more than thirty years ago. It wasn’t a secret between us. Was it a surprise? The biggest of my life. And it was an adjustment for my other children, but I think it’s obvious that you’re accepted and loved, Dominic.”
Loved?
I think back on the past year, at how the Montgomerys have folded me into their family, accepted me unconditionally. I am their brother, without hesitation.
Even Gail has been nothing but gracious.
Yes, they are my family and I love them back. I’d do anything for any of them.
“I’m grateful for all of you,” I murmur.
“There’s no need to be grateful, son.” He grins at me with the smile of a man who has everything he could ever want. “Family just is. Now, about your Alecia.”
“She’s not mine.”
“You’re not interested in anyone else. You’re trying to reach out to her.” He seems to be struggling with what to say, and he finally says, “Give her some time.”
“What do you know?” I ask, suspicious that he isn’t telling me everything.
“I know that it’s not my story to tell. Alecia has had a rough go of it lately, and maybe she just needs some space.”
“Fuck that. If she needs me, I’ll go take care of her.”
“I didn’t say she needed anyone to take care of her,” he replies sternly. “I said she needs time.”
“I’m not a patient man.”
“Well, you come by that honestly,” he says with a chuckle. “I’d like for you to show me your operation here, and then I’d like to have lunch with my son, if you’re up for it.”
My eyebrows climb into my hairline in surprise. “I’m definitely up for it.”
“Excellent.”
We walk through the grounds, the barn where the barrels are stored, the production barn, the store. He’s engrossed in all of it, just as he is each time he comes out here.
“I’d like to develop a special wine for the women in our family. What do you think?”
I grin slowly, then smile widely. “I think that’s an excellent idea. We could surprise them with it for Mother’s Day next year.”
“Perfect.” Steven nods and claps his hand on my shoulder. “I’m so happy you found us, son. I should have said it months ago, but I don’t think you were ready to hear it yet. I’m proud of you.”
I blink hard and stare out at my vines, my heart in my throat.
“I was terrified when the P.I. gave me your information.”
“I was rather nervous myself when I met you for the first time,” he replies. “But just as it is with all of my children, Natalie included, you are important to our family. You are important to me. I’m sorry that I missed out on so many years with you, but I hope that we can have a relationship with each other going forward.”
I nod, not sure what to say, knowing that anything I do say is going to sound rough.
“Good.” He pats my shoulder again and walks back toward the villa. “Let’s go get lunch. I’m starving.”
***
She’s avoided me all damn day.
I’m standing in Steven and Gail’s backyard while children run around, my sisters laugh, and Jax and Logan are newly married.
The happy couple are feeding each other cupcakes, smashing the frosting in each other’s noses.
“I’ve never understood the whole let’s punish the cake by smearing it all over each other thing,” Will says with a frown.
“I don’t understand why you’re not over there trying to snatch some cake,” I reply dryly.
“Holy shit, you’re right!” He runs across the lawn to the patio as if a linebacker is on his heels.
“I think he already stole one from the back earlier,” Caleb says with a shake of the head. “How is he not fat?”
“Because he works out six hours a day,” Leo says as he pulls his wife into his arms and kisses her head.
“This is the man section,” Sam says with a frown. “Where are the girls?”
“I didn’t realize we had sections,” Steven says as he joins us, handing me a beer.
Alecia walks by, completely ignoring me, just as she’s done all damn day.
“Excuse me,” I murmur and follow her.
“Trouble in paradise?” I hear Sam ask.
“Alecia,” I say and hurry to catch up to her. “Stop.”
“I don’t have time.” She presses on her ear, and speaks into her sleeve. “I need more champagne out here, and Logan’s mother is drinking out of a plastic glass, Em. That’s not okay. Get her a glass flute.”
“I’d really like to speak to you, cara.”
She stops and turns to me, finally looking at me for the first time today, and she takes my damn breath away. Her hair is up in its usual knot, her brown eyes are wide, but unsmiling. She looks like she may have lost a few pounds from the way her green dress hangs on her sweet little body.
But rather than answer me, she simply shakes her head and stomps away, talking briskly to Emily in her sleeve.
What the fuck am I doing? Why am I chasing her?
“Wanna talk about it?”
Natalie has joined me, Keaton on her shoulder sleeping peacefully, watching Alecia walk away.
“Not particularly.”
“She looks sad.”
I haven’t taken my eyes off of her. “I don’t see sad.”
“Then you aren’t looking hard enough,” Nat replies and kisses her son’s head. “What did you do?”
“Why does it have to be me?”
She just raises a brow. “Because if she’d been the one to screw up, you wouldn’t be chasing her the way you are.”
“I’m not chasing her,” I reply with frustration. “I’m simply trying to have a conversation with her.”
Nat nods. “Try harder.”
I glance down at her. “Thanks a lot.”
“You’re welcome.” She smiles widely and walks away, like the smart ass that she is.
Try harder.
I sigh and then follow the way Alecia just went, into the house, and find her in the kitchen.
“Alecia,” I say calmly. “I’d like a moment, please.”
Emily smiles at me and nods, then hastily walks out of the room, leaving us alone.
Alecia shakes her head and turns her back on me, uncorking more champagne.
“Alecia,” I try again.
“No!” She spins back to me, her eyes narrowed. “I. Don’t. Have. Time. I’m working, Dominic. Just leave it be.”
I study her eyes, and now I can see it. The sad. But I also see a new resolve that wasn’t there a few weeks ago.
And that’s what scares the fuck out of me. Is she resolved to live without me?
“I’ll leave you be for now, tesoro.” She starts to argue, but I lean in and make her look me in the eyes. “For now. But we will talk.”
“Fine.” She turns away again and resumes her work.
Jesus, everything in me wants to pull her into my arms and bury my nose in her hair, breathe her in, feel her against me.
I’m longing for her.
But I know I wouldn’t be welcome now. Not only that, I’m not sure that I welcome it. Not until I know what in the hell is going on.
I turn and leave the kitchen, running into Jules as I return to the backyard.
“Hey, big brother.” She smiles sweetly, and I have the distinct feeling I’m about to be set up.
“Hello, bella,” I reply. “What do you want?”
“I just want to talk.” She loops her arm through mine and walks with me to join Meg, Will, and Nate standing by Steven’s newest koi pond.
“What are we talking about?” I ask.
“We’d like to do a fund raiser for the hospital,” Meg says with a soft smile. “Nate thought it would be a good idea to have a dinner, dance, and silent auction, which
they already do every year, but…”
“But rather than have it in downtown Seattle this year, we were thinking of asking if we can book the vineyard. Include packages in the silent auction of wines, and maybe a stay out there. Stuff like that.”
“Of course. The vineyard is always open to you. You know that.”
“Awesome!” Meg hugs me hard, then presses her hand on my chest. “You’re my favorite brother-in-law.”
“I was your favorite ten minutes ago when I suggested it,” Nate says with a smile.
“Shh,” Meg says, holding her hand over Nate’s lips. “Don’t ruin it.”
Alecia hurries past with Meredith, talking fast and completely ignoring me.
That’s the last damn time she’ll pretend that I’m not here.
“She went to San Francisco, you know,” Jules says quietly. My gaze jerks down to her.
“When?”
“A few weeks ago.” She shrugs and takes a sip of her drink. “She won’t say why. Just that she had some things to deal with.”
Her family.
She went alone.
What the fuck is going on?
Jules watches me for a long minute, her usual smile gone, replaced with serious eyes.
“I need to go talk to Natalie,” she says finally, and walks away.
“So the event will be in the spring,” Meg says excitedly, and for the next thirty minutes, she and I bounce ideas off of each other to make the event fresh and new.
“Dom, can you help me with something?” Natalie asks as she approaches me. “I’m sorry to interrupt. This won’t take long.”
“Of course. What’s up?”
“There’s a book on the top shelf of Steven’s study that I want to show Luke, and I can’t reach it. Can you get it for me? I’ll show you where it is.”
I frown down at her. “What about Luke?”
“He’s busy with the babies,” she says and grabs my arm, not giving me time to look around, and practically drags me into the house, through the kitchen and down the hall to my father’s study. “It’s right in here—”
She looks like she’s staring at the bookcase, then turns when she hears voices.
“Oh, hold on. Stay right here.”
“Nat, what’s going on?”
Suddenly, Jules and Alecia appear in the doorway.