4
The sound of the doorbell ended Judith’s little cameo and abruptly silenced the visitors. “Ah! Those will be my guests,” Judith announced in a clear, bright voice, which she would have to get used to again. In came Bianca and Basti, followed by two unknown men who waited in the doorway. “Please excuse us, we should hate to disturb you,” said the shorter of the two, whose glasses seemed to have misted up with embarrassment. “You’re not disturbing us at all, we’re just in the middle of a little celebration,” Judith encouraged them. “And I hope you’ll forgive me for looking like this; I’m afraid I couldn’t think of what to wear for the occasion.” Without needing to look around, she was delighted by the sure knowledge that everyone was staring at her in amazement. Particularly Hannes – her ability to metamorphose like this must have “knocked his socks off”.
“These gentleman are from the police, they’re detectives,” Bianca announced breathlessly. “Inspector Bittner and Chief Inspector Kainreich.” She leaned towards them as if for a group photograph. Basti was standing beside her with red cheeks, his mouth open a little wider than usual.
“Herr Bergtaler?” the chief inspector asked the confused and flustered group. “That’s me,” said Hannes. It sounded tortured. He had lowered his gaze and the corners of his mouth were twitching as they had that time in Café Rainer, when Judith first tried in vain to finish with him. “We have a number of questions we’d like to ask you, which is why we’d request…” “Questions?” asked Mum, stupefied. “Which is why we’d request you to accompany us to the station.” “But of course, Inspector,” Hannes interrupted with a quiver in his voice. “If I can be of help in any way.” Judith: “That he certainly can.” Mum: “To the police station?” “I’m afraid it’s necessary; he’s facing rather serious charges. We have serious charges against him on two counts…” Holding out a blue notebook, he cleared his throat and read: “Paragraph 99, unlawful detention. Paragraph 107, criminal intimidation. Paragraph 107a, persistent persecution. Paragraph 109, trespass…”
Mum: “For goodness’ sake, what is all this about? What on earth has happened?” “Believe me, Mum, you don’t want to know,” Judith replied. She gave Bianca a sign, she nudged Basti, he opened first his mouth and then the door. “We have another surprise guest!” Judith approached a tall, gaunt woman with short grey hair, took her by the arm, led her to Mum, and said formally: “Frau Permason, this is my mother. Mum, this is Frau Adelheid Permason, Hannes’ mother-in-law.” The moments that followed as these words took effect were the most pleasurable she’d experienced for months.
“My dear, speechless guests,” Judith said, “allow me to offer you an explanation. For many years now, and indeed to this very day, Hannes has been – how shall I put it? – giving psychological support to his wife, Isabella, Frau Permason’s daughter. “How could you?” the thin, grey-haired lady screamed. “Why have you done this to us?” All eyes were now on Hannes, who was squatting on a chair aside from the group, nodding vigorously, his hands covering his face. “You are sick, Hannes,” Frau Permason screamed. “It’s you who’s ill. Seriously ill in your head!”
Judith: “Just so you know what we’re talking about, I’ve brought along a few lines that Hannes wrote to Isabella. They were kept together with a beautiful amber necklace that he gave her thirteen years ago.” Judith held up the yellowed piece of paper with the pencil-drawn heart and read: “For Isabella, my angel on this earth, for her 25th birthday. We are tied together by love. Eternity binds us to one another. You are my light and I your shadow. The two of us can never be individuals again. Whenever you breathe, I breathe too! Forever yours, Hannes”
DANIEL GLATTAUER was born in Vienna in 1960, where he works as a journalist and writer. Since 1989 he has been a columnist for Der Standard. His novels Love Virtually and Every Seventh Wave are international bestsellers, translated into more than thirty languages. Both were dramatised for Radio 4, starring David Tennant and Emilia Fox.
JAMIE BULLOCH’S translations include novels by Paulus Hochgatterer, Katharina Hagena, Birgit Vanderbeke, Daniela Krien and Timur Vermes.
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Daniel Glattauer
LOVE VIRTUALLY
Translated from the German by Katharina Bielenberg and Jamie Bulloch
While trying to cancel her subscription to a magazine, Emmi e-mails Leo by mistake. A few brief exchanges are all it takes to spark a mutual interest, and soon they are sharing their innermost secrets, desires and passions.
It seems only a matter of time before they will meet in person. But they keep putting off the moment – after all, Emmi is happily married …
Love Virtually is a funny, fast-paced and utterly absorbing novel, with plenty of twists and turns, about a love affair conducted entirely by e-mail.
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ALSO AVAILABLE
Daniel Glattauer
EVERY SEVENTH WAVE
Translated from the German by Katharina Bielenberg and Jamie Bulloch
Emmi and Leo met, fell in love and broke up via e-mail. After a year of silence, they find themselves in contact once more. Yet Emmi is still married to Bernhard, and Leo is just back from Boston with Pamela, his American girlfriend.
As the e-mails grow increasingly passionate, Emmi and Leo are faced with a difficult decision: could their romance survive the transition from digital to actual, or is it the distance that is keeping them together?
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Praise for
LOVE VIRTUALLY
“JUST WHAT YOU NEED” WENDY HOLDEN
“An ingenious tightly plotted suspense story. As with a thriller, there is pleasure to be had here in trying to predict the turn of events” TIMES LITERARY SUPPLEMENT
“I COULDN’T PUT IT DOWN” TIME OUT
“The end is as unexpected as it is inevitable. The book is translated from German, but the whole thing is tout à fait” GUARDIAN
“This is definitely recommended for fans of Audrey Niffenegger and David Nicholls. It really is a great read that will keep you hooked until the end!”
BOOK MONKEY SCRIBBLES
“This was a massive, million-plus bestseller in Glattauer’s native Germany, and it’s easy to see why. Short, striking and snappily written, it explores the brilliant premise of love by accidental e-mail”
DAILY MIRROR
“A modern romance that feels both fresh and traditional” SUNDAY TIMES
“The epistolary novel for the Google generation”
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Daniel Glattauer, Forever Yours
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