Chapter Four: Leap of Faith
Ava
“I thought he was interested in me the way he was flirting, then he turned cold and all business like.”
“Yeah, I noticed that, too. I have no idea what got into him.”
“Me, either. Maybe I had something in my teeth?” I ask, running my tongue over my teeth. He was the first guy I flirted with after Connor’s death. Not that I would have dated him, but it was fun to flirt for the short time it lasted.
“It could have been the spinach and onion from the quiche you had earlier.”
“No, please tell me I don’t have spinach stuck in my teeth.” I quickly reach into my purse and pull out a compact mirror. I’m relieved when there isn’t anything stuck between them. Chase laughs and I swat his arm.
On the drive back to the bed and breakfast, Chase asks, “So, did you like one better than the other?”
I scrunch up my nose. “To be honest, I thought the first three were a bit run down. What did you think?”
“Some of them were in pretty bad shape.”
“I’m afraid it would take more money than I want to spend on repairs just to get everything up to code.”
“That’s what happens when homes stay vacant for long periods of time.”
“Well, maybe I need to look at another area. Mom won’t be happy, but maybe I should look up in the New England states.”
Chase looks from the road and looks me in the eyes. “You can’t be serious. That’s a two-days’ drive from where you live now.”
“Or a few hours on an airplane. Depends on how you look at it.”
“It’s still too far to move, no matter how you travel to get there.”
“Maybe you’re right. That last house wasn’t too bad. It has some great features that I loved.”
“It had a rough exterior, but cosmetic work will do wonders for a house, and it was priced to sell.”
“Maybe we should have Skylar, Mom, and Dad look at it with us.”
“That’s a good idea. Take a day or two to think it over.”
As we pull into the bed and breakfast, Steve and Lou Ann are sitting on the porch swing. “Have any luck?” Steve shouts from the porch.
Ava gets out of the truck and says, “We saw one that might be a possibility.”
Lou Ann frowns. “We had to look at six houses, before we decided on this one.”
Chase and I spend the rest of the evening with Lou Ann and Steve. Although we just met them, they are nice and down to earth. We learn a lot about them and Chase shares some things about us. We don’t tell them about my amnesia or that I have no idea of the person I was prior to this year. I’m afraid that some people will judge me or look at me differently. I don’t tell them I’m widowed. They assume that Chase and I are a couple, and I let them believe that.
Chase is kind and sweet, and he’s everything I would expect from a man I would date. I could actually see myself with him, if I hadn’t been married to his best friend. I’m not sure how Chase and I met, and I’m not sure how Connor and I met either. I’ve never asked and no one has ever told me. I do know I knew Chase longer than I knew Connor. If Chase was interested in me, then I’m sure I would have dated him and not Connor, since I knew Chase first. Certainly, I wouldn’t have dated them both at different times in my life, would I?
My phone rings and I’m surprised to see it’s from Dad. I stand and make my apologies. “Sorry, I have to take this.” I walk off the porch before answering. “Hello, this is Ava.”
“Hi, Ava. I’m at your house with dinner, but you’re not here.”
“No, I’m not home.”
“I can see that.” He chuckles nervously. “Will you be home anytime soon? I don’t mind waiting for you.”
“Um, no. I won’t be home until tomorrow.”
“I see. I should have called first.” There’s a noise in the background and I can’t make it out. “Are you out of town?”
“I am. I’m in Savannah, Georgia.”
“Oh, what are you doing there?”
“Chase and I are looking for a house.”
“Wait. What did you say?”
I laugh. I know what I said and I know how it sounds. “Chase came with me to Savannah to look for a house for a bed and breakfast.”
“If Claire and I had known, we would have come with you.”
I tell him about my plans to go alone, then Chase showed up and came with me. “Is everything okay with you?”
“I was hoping maybe we could talk over dinner.”
I would like nothing more than to talk with him. “Maybe we can have dinner tomorrow night?”
“I wish I could, Ava, but I have to work.”
There’s a pause and I try to hide my disappointment.
“Ava?”
“Yes, I’m here.”
“I know I don’t always show it, but I love you.”
“What are you talking about? I’ve never doubted your love for me.” Well, I wondered at first after coming out of the coma.
“That’s good to hear. There’s just been so much that happened since…. I just want you to know that you’re my first and only priority.” He sounds so sad. “I love you, kiddo.”
I clear my throat and say, “I love you, too.” Why would he bring dinner and what does he want to talk to me about?
“Have fun and don’t buy anything until I see it.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
“Okay, be careful and we’ll talk when you get home.”
“Okay, bye.”
That night, Chase sleeps on the floor again and we talk in the dark until the early morning hours. He tells me about his past relationships and he also tells me about the girl who got away. I feel bad for him and tell him I think he and Skylar would make a great couple. He coughs and sputters before getting up and getting a drink of water from the bathroom.
“So you don’t like Skylar?” I ask when he returns from getting a drink.
“No, I love Skylar. She’s like my sister.”
Oh, I get it. “Say no more.”
“Plus, I wouldn’t date Skylar because I don’t want to be the victim to one of her break-up schemes.”
We both laugh as we talk about the past I can’t remember.
The next morning, we say our goodbyes. Chase and I exchange phone numbers with Steve and Lou Ann before leaving. They say they’ll keep an eye out in case they see or hear about something becoming available. This weekend we found one possible house for my bed and breakfast. One is definitely better than none. We also met new friends and that was a good thing.
On the way home, Chase and I decide that the last house we looked at was worth a second look. I also decide to ask Skylar to seriously consider joining me to be co-innkeepers together. I want to ask Chase to come, too. I know he won’t, because he can’t. He’s some big-time attorney, and that is something he can’t walk away from. What do I have to offer him? A job as a gardener, a handyman? That’ll never do. He’d laugh in my face.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks.
Looking up at him, I smile. “Just my new adventure. Do you think Skylar would come with me?”
“I think Skylar would gladly go with you. She almost lost you once, and she wouldn’t want to lose you a second time.”
“Thank you.” I think for a minute and say, “I’m worried it’ll fail and then she might be upset with me because she’ll be unemployed and in debt.”
“She’s a big girl, and I think with her and you being nurses, you’ll both find employment quickly, if you ever need to.”
I decide to go ahead and ask him. “What about you, would you come, too?”
He laughs. “I don’t think I would make much of an innkeeper.”
“You could open your own law firm.”
He slowly looks over at me before focusing back on the road. “Ava, you want me to come with
you to Savannah?”
“I’m being selfish, aren’t I? I know I’ve known you for only a few months….” I stop and we both laugh. “Well, you know what I mean. I like you, and I don’t want to leave you behind.”
“Well, thank you. I like you, too.” He smiles. “As you know, I can’t just pack up and leave. I’ve worked very hard to get where I’m at in my current job.”
“I know that. I’m sorry to put you on the spot like that.”
“You’re not putting me on the spot. I’m glad that you want me to be there with you. If you open a bed and breakfast close enough, none of us will need to relocate; therefore, not much will change for some of us.”
“It’s Skylar. Everything will change for her.” I shift a little in the seat to face Chase. “I wish Florida was a great location for a bed and breakfast, but it’s not. When tourists visit, they want to stay on the beach, or at a Disney resort, not a bed and breakfast.”
“That’s true, but Savannah is close enough, and it’s a great location for what you’re looking for.”
“I guess we’ll see what happens.”
“If I were you, Ava, I would talk with Skylar to get her take on everything. I know she’s interested in this new business adventure, but you may want to see how far she’s willing to move, and how much she’s able to spend.”
“That’s a good idea. I’ll call her now to meet us at my house so we can talk to her.”
“We?”
I smile. “Yes, I need an attorney for legal advice, and a friend for great advice.”
Skylar
I had just gotten off work when Ava called, wanting to meet with me. I think she’s forgotten what three twelve-hour shifts in a row do to a nurse. I went home and quickly showered before running over to her house to meet with her.
Chase’s truck was just pulling into the garage when I arrived. I almost peed my pants as I watched him unload a suitcase from the backseat of his truck. I ask while getting out of the car, “Is there something you two want to tell me?” I nod at the suitcase in Chase’s hands. Maybe he’s finally revealed his feelings to Ava.
“There is,” Ava says, walking into the house. “Chase, would you open some wine?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“I need it after the weekend we had,” she yells from the bedroom.
“Weekend?” Hell, here I thought it was just one night. Wine? Are they going to tell me they’re a couple now? Is this a celebration? I whisper, “Chase, did you tell her?” He doesn’t say anything but shakes his head. My eyes follow him as he walks over to the wine cooler on the kitchen counter where he chooses a bottle of white wine. Ava comes out wearing different clothes than she had on. “Then what’s going on?”
“Just wait, she’ll tell you in a minute.” We each get a glass of wine, and sit in the family room where the seating is more comfortable. “Okay, you gotta tell me what’s going on.”
Ava sits on one end of the couch, and Chase sits on the other end. We all take a sip before Ava tells me about their trip to Savannah. I listen as she speaks with enthusiasm in her voice. “So, I guess what I want to know is, how serious you are in joining me?”
“We’re talking about this seriously?” I ask.
“Yes, I’m serious and I’m ready. I could do this without you, but I’d rather do it with you.”
I look over at Chase and he remains silent. He has his ‘attorney face’ on and I have no idea what he’s thinking. I look at Ava and ask, “You can open a bed and breakfast without me?”
She laughs. “No, not at all, but I didn’t want to add any pressure on you.”
I smile and say, “No pressure here.” Ava may not remember who she was prior to the accident, but she is a lot like the girl she used to be before she got married. I’m thrilled the amnesia or the accident didn’t change that. I think for a brief moment and say, “But seriously, I guess it all depends on the location, and the amount of money it’ll take.” I don’t say anything else.
“That’s understandable. Chase and I looked at four houses in Savannah and one is a possibility for an inn. I love that area and I really hope to find something there. If not, the Carolinas would also be a good location.”
“You aren’t interested in moving to Massachusetts, Maine, or Rhode Island?” I ask.
“Those are all great places and I think the bed and breakfast would really excel there. But no, I don’t want to move that far away.”
“Ava, I want you to understand, I don’t have as much money as you have. It would take my entire savings and I’d have to take out a loan. How much money would a house or a building like that cost?”
Chase speaks up and rattles off some numbers from the top of his head about a reasonable cost for a Victorian home. Of course, I know it depends on the city and state we make our purchase. Around Martha’s Vineyard, there’s no chance in hell that we could afford a cottage, much less a Victorian home. Ava suggests she could buy it, and I could make payments to her from the profits of the business. Assuming there are any profits. She isn’t bragging about her finances; she’s just letting me know there are other options for me. Chase says most of the work that needed done on the one house was cosmetic, and the foundation and structure were solid. Since the house was previously a bed and breakfast, we didn’t need to add additional bathrooms to each of the bedrooms. We could do most of the painting and landscaping. I’m excited to see he’s involved in this adventure, but I also know he may have an ulterior motive: Ava.
“Well, what do you think?” Ava asks excitedly.
I already know my answer. I don’t need to think about it before I say, “I’m in.”
“Really?” Ava squeals as she jumps up and hugs me. “You won’t regret this, I swear.”
“I know I won’t.” I have no reservations at all about this.
“Do you want me to call the Realtor so we can look at it again?” Chase asks.
“I’m off tomorrow and Tuesday. Is that too soon?” I ask.
“Give me a minute to make a phone call, and I’ll let you know.”
“I want Mom and Dad to look at it with us,” Ava says, reaching for her cellphone.
Ava
Four months later Connor’s mom and dad stop over unannounced and uninvited.
“Look, I don’t know what the big deal is about me selling my house.”
“Because it belonged to our son. Ava, you can’t just sell it; it’s part of Connor. There are so many memories here of you and him.”
“Look, Brett and Nichole, I’m sorry.” I want to say they’re memories that I don’t remember. I want to say the dreams I have about Connor aren’t rainbows and butterflies. The dreams or memories I have of Connor are dark and morbid. “But I need to move on.”
“Ava, Connor hasn’t been dead a year yet. Don’t you think you should have waited before selling this house and moving on?”
“Waited for what? Nothing will change. Even if my memory comes back, it doesn’t change anything. I’m sorry, but Connor will still be dead.” I see Dad coming down the street in his black Hummer. I didn’t call him, but I sure am glad to see him. I understand Brett and Nichole are upset about Connor’s death, and maybe me selling this house is another reminder of the loss of their son. I have no idea. I have no memories of Connor, but I do have nightmares. My most recent nightmare is of Connor pushing me down a flight of stairs in this very house.
“Ava, we know Connor’s gone, but this was the last house he lived in before he died.”
I don’t say anything. I’m tired of talking. I watch as Dad gets out of his Hummer and walks over to us as we stand in the middle of the manicured lawn. He walks past the “Sold” sign that’s posted in the yard.
“Brett,” he nods. “Nichole, what’s going on?”
“Marshall, couldn’t you have talked some sense into your daughter before she sold her and Connor’s home?”
I watch Brett as he talks to D
ad.
“Ava, go into the house,” Dad demands.
I look at Dad and he isn’t looking at me. He’s watching Brett and Nichole.
He tells me, “I’ll be right in. Go ahead and finish packing or we’ll be late.”
He’s right, we’ll be late for my move if I don’t hurry. I say my goodbyes even though no one replies. Once I’m in the house, I look out the window and watch the interaction between the three of them.
It looks like a heated argument, and I have no idea why he told me to go inside. Maybe he thinks I’m still his little girl and he wants to protect me.
Skylar and I bought the Victorian house in Savannah. Chase, Mom, and Dad went with Skylar and me to look at it, and Skylar fell in love with it right away. I’m so thankful she was able to see the beauty through the rough exterior. Hardwood floors, oak mantel fireplaces, cast iron claw foot bathtubs, wainscoting on most of the walls, large picture windows, and a wrap-around porch. Dad and Chase painted the house while Skylar, Mom, and I started to do some landscaping but eventually hired a professional landscaper. We could have planted flowers and a few bushes, but we wanted more than we could have done. The corner lot of the house was actually big enough we could add a butterfly garden, a rose garden, and a cobblestone walking path.
When Dad walks towards the house, I meet him at the door. “You won’t have any more problems with them.”
I close the doors after he enters the house. “What did you say to them?”
“I told them if they’re upset the house sold, then they should have bought it.”
I wish I had thought of that. “What did they say?”
“They left, didn’t they?”
“I feel bad for them….”
“Don’t, Ava. It’ll be okay. I told them you needed to move on, and this was the best move for you. I think they understood. They’re still in mourning and aren’t thinking rationally.”
“I know they’re sad over the loss of their son.” I feel guilty that I haven’t mourned Connor. I’m sure when my memory returns, if my memory ever returns, I’ll also mourn him. “I can’t imagine what they’re going through.”
“Me, either. It was touch and go for you, and I prayed every day God would spare your life.”
“You did?” Over the past four months, Dad, Mom, and I have slowly been getting closer. Because I lost my memory, they’re taking their time for me to get to know them, and I appreciate that. It was hard at first, but I can feel the love they have for me.
“I love you, Ava, and I’m working to improve our relationship to be where it was before your marriage.”
Before my marriage? What the hell happened to all of my relationships during my marriage? I have dreams or should I say nightmares of beatings and fights with Connor, but I never dream of my family and friends. I never dream of love and support. “I love you, too, Dad.”
“Are you ready?”
“I have a few things upstairs, and then I’ll be ready.” I look around the near-empty house. Skylar and I thought it was a good idea to take all of the bedroom suites with us to the bed and breakfast. They are like new and good quality, plus we needed them to keep the cost down. I kept a few things of Connor’s and gave everything else to his mom and dad because I knew they would want them. I’m not sure what they’ll do with all of his clothing. I put the rest of the stuff in storage, and I’ll go through it at a later time.
Dad and Mom drive together, while Chase, Skylar, and I ride separately in three cars packed with stuff to Savannah. It feels like the drive took twice as long as it really was.
We don’t open for another couple of weeks. June 1st, to be exact. We need to get moved in and do a trial run to make sure we know what we’re doing. Lou Ann and Steve have been helping us tremendously. We talk to them a few times a week. It seems I have more questions than I realized I would have.
Once we pull into the bed and breakfast, I have never been so grateful for the moving company. The bedroom suites and some of the other items we brought with us have already been delivered and set up in the proper rooms. Now we just need to unload the cars and trucks, make the beds, and go to the grocery store. Well, that’s not all we have to do, but that’s what we’ll do first.
The hardest part is unloading the vehicles. It seems that I’ve been planning on opening a tea room for some time now. Before my amnesia, I’d been buying tea sets and serving dishes and putting them away. I had no idea, but when Mom and I went into the spare bedroom to sort through my stuff, we found boxes and boxes of vintage and new glassware. Mom said she had forgotten I had some things, and she didn’t know about the other items.
Once everything is unloaded and brought into the house, we all get to work. The painting, repairs, and cleaning are already done, and now it’s time to turn this Victorian house into a bed and breakfast. The kitchen is huge and beautiful, and it’s bright and spacious. It’s everything you want in a room you’ll spend many hours a day in. Of course for a house of this size, you would need a big kitchen.
The more we do, the more excited Skylar and I are. Chase and Dad left, they said they’re going to check out some fishing spots. There isn’t anything left for them to do here. They can’t make beds, and I don’t want them anywhere near our kitchen cabinets.
Mom, Skylar, and I laugh a lot as we wash the dishes and put everything away.
“I can’t recall ever seeing you this happy, Ava.”
I look at Mom with a smile spread across my lips. “Thank you. I am happy. I just feel like this is something that I’m meant to do.” I look over at Skylar and say, “That we’re meant to do together. I can’t imagine following my dreams with anyone else.”
She walks over and hugs me. “I can’t imagine doing this with anyone but you,” she says.
Mom thinks for a minute and says, “You know, I’m secretly living vicariously through you girls.”
She looks sad, almost like she wishes she were doing this with us. I make a mental note to include her and ask her advice often. Even if I don’t need it. “Mom, you can come up and stay anytime you want.”
“That’s right, Claire. We have plenty of room, and you are always welcome.”
“Thank you, but I’ll be fine. This is a great opportunity for you girls. I just hope you enjoy the ride to your success.”
“You really think we’ll be successful?” I ask, not sure if we will be or not. I hope we will be, but I also know there is a possibility that we could fail. If we do fail, it won’t be from a lack of trying.
Skylar and I watch Mom as she looks around the vast white kitchen. She exhales and smiles. “This house, the spacious kitchen, and your everlasting friendship — it’s all a recipe for success. There’s no way it can’t be successful.”
Skylar and I hug Mom and tell her how much we appreciate her support. When the last box is unpacked and everything is put away, we start to make the beds. We don’t separate into different rooms, we all work in the same room together. We laugh a lot and decide each room needs to be a theme. I had originally thought the bed and breakfast should be called Rose Garden Inn, but Skylar has a better idea. She thinks it should have a coastal feel and name since it is so close to the water. I think it’s a wonderful idea, but then Skylar starts to joke about possible names we could use. “Rip Tide Inn,” “Tidal Wave Inn,” or “Rip Current Inn.” Although these are great names if you want to be reminded of death by drowning, they aren’t great names for a bed and breakfast. Suddenly, the coastal-themed bed and breakfast doesn’t seem like such a great idea. We’re trying to bring in guests, not frighten them away. So, we decide on “The Rose Garden Inn” for the inn’s name and “Rose Petals” for the tea room.
Chase and Dad come home with food and wooden rockers. It’s an odd combination, but we are grateful for both. Skylar and I both had decided on wooden rockers and porch swings for the large wrap-around porch, and some bistro tables and benches around the garden, and beneath the
large mossy oak trees.
After dinner Chase and Dad set the new rockers out while Mom, Skylar, and I shop for a few things online. We need a commercial coffee pot — one made for restaurants — and pots and pans. Once we make our purchases, we all sit outside and enjoy the cool evening.
I make a list of groceries we’ll need for the bed and breakfast. I guess I am a list person after all. Skylar doesn’t need a list; she just buys what she wants or what she thinks we’ll need. We also go through the recipes and try to plan our menu. Lou Ann and Steve pull in and I’m happy to see them. They brought a homemade walnut cream vanilla cake, and Mom makes coffee to go with it.
“The house looks great. We almost didn’t recognize it,” Steve says.
“Thank you.”
“Are you getting reservations?”
Skylar says, “We have a few, nothing too exciting.”
“As word spreads, you’ll get more. What about your menu? How’s that coming along for you?”
Skylar and I laugh. “Well… we know to serve fresh homemade foods and desserts, but if you cook and bake everyday, when do you have time for anything else?”
Mom says, “Is that what has you puzzled?”
“Yes. We’ve gone through all of these books and everything’s homemade.”
Skylar says, “Time management is a big concern for us. Eventually, I want to date, or go out, or something.” She laughs. “I didn’t want to turn into Miss Crocker so soon in my young life.”
“I want time to date, too,” I say, laughing.
Mom and Lou Ann look at each other and Lou Ann says, “Well, you might be in luck.”
“I’m listening,” I say, sitting up a little straighter.
“The secret is you bake once a week, but you do need to provide a hot fresh breakfast daily.”
Chase and Dad laugh and it makes everyone laugh. “So, you don’t slave away covered in flour everyday all day over the hot oven?”
Lou Ann doesn’t laugh but she smiles and says, “I don’t, but it may be something you chose to do.”
We have a leisurely visit before Mom, Dad, and Chase leave to return home, but Steve and Lou Ann stay a little longer. “You know, I was thinking, if you girls want to start baking this weekend, maybe we could do it all together. I have two ovens over at our place; we can do it there.”
“That’s a great idea and then we’ll have a stock pile before we even open for business,” I say.
“We may need another deep freeze; one might not be enough.” Skylar scrunches her nose as if she’s thinking.
We make plans to meet up Sunday after church for a bake off and then Steve and Lou Ann leave.
Chase
It’s been months since Ava’s accident and since Marshall banned Skylar and me from visiting her at the hospital. It’s also been a few months since I saw Marshall with Lorraine at work, and in the restaurant with her little boy.
I haven’t seen Marshall since then until today. It’s none of my business what he does in his spare time; I just don’t want Ava to get hurt as a result.
When he put Skylar and me on the do-not-visit list at the hospital, I was pissed. Later, Skylar and I decided maybe it was his way of protecting his daughter. Once Ava got released and we were able to build a relationship with her, those days in the hospital didn’t seem as important as they once did. What was important is that we got our Ava back and she was getting better everyday.
While we were in the car to get food and rocking chairs for the inn, Marshall opened up and told me his fears about what happened to Ava during her marriage to Connor. He tells me things that I already suspected and he said banning Skylar and me from the hospital was his only way of protecting Ava. If those things really happened to Ava, I don’t blame him. I knew it had to be something.
He also confides in me why he was meeting Lorraine at the restaurant that evening I saw them. It wasn’t the reason I was thinking and Connor wasn’t the man I once thought he was. Obviously, I was a fool.
Skylar
Ava and I walk around this huge house that suddenly feels too big with everyone gone. We walk through each bedroom, and I notice how much they remind me of Ava and Connor’s house. Same bedroom suites, same bedding. “Let’s go shopping.”
“For what? I guess we need to get some groceries.”
“For bedding and some new lamps.”
“Skylar, we can’t afford those things. In case you haven’t noticed, we just bought a house.”
“Yes, we can. Let’s at least go and look at some new bedding. This stuff reminds me of….”
“Connor.” Ava says.
“Yes, of Connor.”
“I was afraid of that. But I know we can’t afford to shop at Dillard’s or Macy’s. Not since we just spent money on the house.”
“Dillard’s? Girl, I’m talking about shopping at Target.” I giggle. “Bedding at Target is very affordable and it’s good quality. I’ve never been able to afford Dillard’s.” I laugh.
“Does Target really sell good quality bedding?”
I’m reminded once again that Ava truly cannot remember her past. She used to love Target. “C’mon, let’s go and just look around. We don’t have to buy anything, unless we absolutely fall in love with it.”
Once inside Target, Ava acts like a kid at Christmas. I guess she didn’t know about their shabby chic collection. We start off with one cart, but soon we have filled three. We also add a fourth cart for groceries.
We spend most of the night washing and changing out the bedding, one room at a time. The rooms are coming along and it’s beginning to look more comfortable and inviting. Connor had great taste, but it was more formal, industrial, and modern. A bed and breakfast should offer a soft and inviting feel, something that says, “Come and stay for awhile. Lie down, I’m soft and comfortable.”
The main living quarters in the house is set up like a small two-bedroom apartment. It’ll be perfect for Ava and me, but if one of us wants to entertain a guy for the night, this setup won’t work for either of us. The walls are thin, and someone will be hearing what the other one is doing. God knows, I don’t want to hear the sex noises that Ava makes on any given night, and I sure as hell don’t want her hearing mine.
“We did it. We took a leap of faith, and this is where it got us.”
I look at Ava and she looks happy and content. “I’m glad we did, and I couldn’t be happier.”
“Really? You’re not just saying that, are you?”
“No, not at all. I’m thrilled to be here, and I’m more thrilled to have you back in my life.”
Over the next few days, we schedule food deliveries from commercial food vendors. We talk more extensively to Lou Ann about menu items. I guess I’m not the only one concerned about the food we’ll serve. Ava and I are great cooks, but for some reason, this frightens me. It’s just breakfast, so how hard can it be?
On Sunday, we take some dessert and breakfast casserole cookbooks over to Lou Ann’s. We also take some ingredients, baking dishes, freezer bags, and a mixer with us. This is an exciting day and we are both happy.
We park in the back of Lou Ann and Steve’s bed and breakfast and use the back entrance into the kitchen. It takes several trips for us to haul everything inside. I laugh to myself when I see how they have everything set up. Her entire kitchen is set up in stations. It looks like there is a sweet station, a bread station, and a breakfast station. Boy, do we have a lot to learn. They have a KitchenAid mixer in each station. A total of three KitchenAid mixers. I laugh when I think of the handheld mixer that Ava and I brought with us to use. Being an innkeeper is a lot harder than I thought.
We have coffee as they explain everything to us. Like us, they learned through trial and error. They aren’t the third or fourth generation of innkeepers in their family. They are the first generation and it took a lot of errors before they mastered the art of success. Ava listens as she takes notes of e
verything Lou Ann says. I wonder if it wouldn’t be easier for Ava to just use a recorder instead.
“Do you have aprons and hairnets?” Lou Ann asks.
“Um, no. Do we need them?” I look at Ava and she shrugs her shoulders.
“You do, and you’ll be glad you wore them. Nothing like ruining a batch of cookies because there’s a hair in the dough.”
I make a face at the thought of hair being in the cookie dough. “We need hairnets and aprons,” I say.
“Now,” Ava agrees.
“Here, we have extra.”
Once we’re ready, we all get to work. We make muffins, biscuits, French toast, pancakes, cookies, scones, and macaroons. Although we are in the same business as Lou Ann and Steve, ours will be somewhat different. While their kitchen closes after breakfast until the next day, ours will reopen from 1:00 to 3:00 for an afternoon tea. We’ve already decided that we aren’t going to have a menu to order from; it’s not lunch. We’ll just have light sandwiches, scones or macaroons, and puffed pastries with a choice of favorite teas. It’ll be a different set up from a full-service tea house. It’ll be a tea room with a twist.
By the end of the day, we are a floury mess, but it was the best day ever. We help with the clean up and head home.
As the week goes on, reservations come in and the rooms get booked up. Deliveries are coming in, and the stress and excitement are building. We sit outside and someone parks their car and walks up to the front porch. He is extremely good looking, and I remember him as being the Realtor who sold us the house.
Ava stands up and smiles. “Hi, Ben, how are you?”
“I’m good. Just wanted to stop over and see how everything’s going.”
“It’s going very well. Ben Michaels, do you remember Skylar?”
“I do, it’s nice seeing you again.”
“Likewise.”
He looks around and says, “This place looks amazing.”
“Thanks. It looks a little different from when you first showed it to us,” Ava says.
I watch as he stands at the bottom of the stairs. “Care to join us for a drink?”
He looks at me and then to Ava, as if he’s unsure.
“Please, you should join us, unless you have someplace….”
“No, no. I have no other plans.”
He walks up onto the porch and I stand. “Red or white?” I ask, holding up my wine glass.
“Whatever you’re having is fine, thank you.”
We finish off the bottle of wine before he asks Ava, “So, your husband and children aren’t here with you?”
Now the conversation’s getting interesting.
“Excuse me? Husband and children?”
He looks confused. “Yes, your friend, Chase, told me you were married with children.” What is Chase up to? I sit back and watch the show. It’s a bold move, even for Chase.
“Are you sure you heard him right?”
“Yes, I was thinking about asking you out and I asked him if you were single. That’s when he told me you were married with children. Not just one child, he said you have several.”
I spit my wine out from shock, and no one seems to notice. I think Ava’s in shock, too.
“That’s odd.” Ava thinks for a moment and says, “I’m not married, and I don’t have any children.”
Once this is cleared up, he finally asks Ava out and she accepts. Things are moving along for Ava and maybe this will be a new start for her. Well, at least until Chase shows up and puts a stop to it. I know Chase likes Ava and I also know that he’s liked her for a long time. It’s not my place to tell her about his feelings. I’ve always secretly hoped those two would be together. Maybe he just needs a slight push or a gentle shove in the right direction. I’m not above doing that for a friend.
Ava
I walk Ben to his car, and we make plans to have dinner Saturday night. Now, I understand why he stopped flirting with me before. I thought it was odd that we got along so well and then suddenly he just backed away from me. I know it was Chase, but why would Chase say I was married with kids? I don’t understand it. Maybe he’s just looking out for me; maybe he’s just giving me time to find myself, before I find someone else.
I watch as Ben leaves before returning to join Skylar on the front porch. “Why would Chase tell someone I was married with kids?”
She stands, and we walk into the house. “I have no idea. Are you going to ask him?”
“Should I?”
“If you want answers, you should. How else will you know his reasoning? Maybe he likes you, and he doesn’t want you seeing anyone.”
“I doubt that. He was the best man at my wedding. I doubt he would have those feelings, especially since he was such good friends with Connor.”
We say good night, and I turn into bed. I toss and turn thinking about Chase, Ben, and Connor. My thoughts are a jumbled mess of confusion. I can’t make sense of anything. I was married to Connor and yet I can’t remember him, and therefore I have no feelings for him. Chase is a dear friend and although I can’t remember him, I can feel we had a closeness. As for Ben, I like him and he makes me laugh.
“Ava, you look stunning. Are you ready to celebrate your birthday with our friends?”
“Thank you. I am.”
We have dinner and dance. I’m surrounded with flashing lights, friends, and our family. I slow dance with Chase, and I feel safe. There’s a cake with birthday candles and gifts. There’s laughter and shouting. Why is there shouting at my birthday party? There’s drinking and hitting, and then there’s pushing.
“I told you I don’t want you around him.”
“God, Connor. Chase is our friend. There’s nothing for you to be jealous of.”
“Ava! Don’t make me tell you again. Stay away from him!”
Why was Connor so jealous of Chase? Is this when I learned to fake my happiness? Is this when I first learned that marrying Connor was a mistake? I drink champagne although I don’t feel like celebrating. I smile and pretend I am having a great time. Deep down inside, I’ve already decided I’m going to ask Connor for a divorce. He isn’t the man I thought he was, and this isn’t what I want for my life. Sitting at a table alone, I watch as Connor also pretends to be in marital bliss. He laughs and smiles as he makes his way around the room.
We both are quiet on the drive home from the party. I plan to tell Connor I want a divorce, but not today; not while we’re alone. I need to have someone with me, but why? Why can’t I remember?
Once we are on the top of the stairs, he stops. “I saw the way he was looking at you.”
“Who?”
“Chase, I saw the way he was looking at you. I don’t like it.”
“Jesus, Connor. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. Chase was not looking at me in any way.”
“Ava, I mean it! You stay away from him, and Skylar, too, for that matter.”
“No, I won’t. You can’t tell….”
He slaps me across the face. “I can tell you and I do tell you that I want you to stay away from them.” I grab my face — it burns from my salty tears. He’s never hit me before. I expect an apology from him, thinking that maybe, hoping that maybe, it was an accident.
“Maybe you need a permanent reminder of why you shouldn’t disobey me.”
And without another word, he pushes me down the flight of stairs. I remember crying, pain, and tears. I remember a deformed right arm and a gash on the back of my head. I also remember sutures, a cast, and weeks of therapy, but I don’t remember an apology.
The next morning I lie in bed awake. I smell coffee, and I hear Skylar in the kitchen. I look at my arm and make a fist. Did I break my arm? Did Connor push me from the top stairs of our home? I use a handheld mirror and look in the full-sized mirror for a scar to the back of my head. I see a scar! My dreams are not just dreams. They’re memories.
Finally, I dry my tears and wal
k out to talk to Skylar.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” she says without looking at me. “I thought you were going to sleep the day away.”
I pour a cup of coffee and sit across from her at the breakfast bar.
She looks over the newspaper, and her smile disappears. “What’s wrong?” She sets the newspaper down on the counter.
My hands shake so I set my coffee cup down on the counter. “I think Connor abused me!”
Skylar sits up straighter. “Ava, are you sure?”
“I have a scar. Let me back up. Last night I had a dream that he pushed me down a flight of stairs. In my dream I broke my arm and I had a gash on the back of my head.” She doesn’t say anything. Skylar looks shocked at hearing my words. I’ve never told anyone about my dreams of Connor before. “I have these dreams more and more frequently. Sometimes they’re vivid and sometimes they’re vague. Anyway, I woke up and I have a scar in the exact same place as in my dream.”
“Ava, I don’t know what to say.” She looks sad. “I hope that’s only a dream. Like I said, I didn’t see you much after your wedding.”
“In my dream, it was my birthday party and I danced with Chase; Connor was furious.”
“You remember your birthday party?”
“Just what I dreamed about it. You were there in my dream. Did I dance with Chase and was Connor mad?”
“The party was shortly after your wedding. It was probably the last time I saw you. If I remember correctly, you did dance with Chase, but I didn’t notice Connor having an attitude about it.”
“I think he hid his anger from others. The sad thing is, I have no idea if these are memories or if I’m just making this stuff up.” I pause before adding, “I feel like I’m going crazy. Maybe he was this really nice guy, and I’m turning him into a monster.”
“You did break your arm in the car accident, could the dream be part of a memory?”
“I broke my left arm in the accident, in my dream it was my right arm that I broke.”
I wait before she says anything. “Let’s call your doctor and see if he knows anything about it.”
“I think he would have told me if he knew.”
“Maybe he can x-ray your arm and see if it’s ever been broken.”
“Good idea, I never thought of that. I’ll call him Monday.”
“Ava, if Connor ever hurt you, I swear that I didn’t know anything about it. I would have stopped him. I would have done something to help you. Chase and all of us would have done something.”
“I know you would. If he did hurt me, I’m not sure why I would have stayed. Why wouldn’t I have gotten help, or gone someplace safe?”
“I don’t know, I wish I knew.”
I said I would wait until Monday to call Doctor Adams, but I couldn’t wait. I ended up calling him later in the day. As always he listened to my concerns. “I have your X-rays from when you were in the hospital, I can look those over and see if you’ve had previous broken bones. Can you come in on Tuesday so we can discuss my findings?”
“Sure, I’ll be there.”
On Tuesday, Skylar and I meet Doctor Adams at his office. I’m shocked when I see Chase walk into the waiting room. I look over at Skylar because I know she told him that we would be here. Skylar ignores my look as she smiles at Chase. I sign in and we take a seat. Chase and Skylar begin talking about the bed and breakfast. He doesn’t ask me about my dreams, or memories, or whatever they are. He just acts like this is a luncheon date, and I’m fine with that. The less I talk about it, the better.
I sit and fidget until the nurse calls my name; we all stand.
I tell Skylar and Chase, “I’d like to go in alone, if that’s okay?”
If it were just Skylar and me, it would be fine for her to go in with me, but since Chase is here, I’d like to go in alone. I’m not sure what the doctor will say, and I’m not sure how I’ll handle the news.
“Sure, that’s fine. We’ll be right here waiting for you when you’re done,” Chase says as he nods.
“Are you sure, Ava?” Skylar asks.
I smile to let her know I’m fine. “I’m positive. I’ll be out as soon as I can.”
They both sit down, and I follow the nurse through the single door separating the waiting room from the treatment rooms. Instead of the doctor using my old X-rays, he tells me he’d feel better taking some himself. After a couple of hours, X-rays, scans, and testing, I get the dreaded answers I’ve been waiting for, plus some I didn’t expect. Although I already had a suspicion, the truth is still disturbing to hear.
“Ava, I’m going to recommend you seeing a counselor. I have a friend who lives in the Savannah, Georgia area, so you won’t need to make the drive back here.”
“Okay, I’ll call him tomorrow to set up an appointment.”
“Ava, if you have any other dreams or memories, call me.”
“I will. After what you confirmed today, I’m sure the nightmares will be coming more and more frequently.”
“That may be, or you may remember everything all at once.”
I try to smile but a tear falls instead. “Great. That should be fun,” I say sarcastically. I stand and pull my purse over my right shoulder.
“You call me if that happens.” He stands and fastens his white lab coat. “I’ll see you next month, if not before.”
After the appointment, Skylar, Chase, and I meet Mom and Dad for lunch. On the drive to the restaurant, I let everything sink in that the doctor just confirmed. I didn’t tell Chase or Skylar what the doctor said; I don’t want to repeat everything — saying it once is more than enough.
Mom and Dad are already sitting at a table when we arrive. They look sad and somber as they stand as we approach the round five-top table. After the pleasantries are over and we order our lunch, Dad wastes no time in asking what Doctor Adams said. “So, are the dreams a memory?”
I take a deep breath, and look past him at the large oil painting on the white wall behind him. “There’s evidence to suggest they are.” I hear Mom and Skylar gasp, and curse words from Chase and Dad.
Dad speaks first. “That son of a bitch. I swear if he wasn’t dead, I would kill him with my bare hands.”
Mom speaks more rationally. “Doctor Adams determined that your right arm has been previously broken?”
“He did, but there’s more.” My mind races with everything I learned today. Tears fill my eyes and for the first time, things are actually sinking in. “Connor didn’t just hit me, he beat me.” I lick my tongue over my front teeth before adding. “I’ve also had several cracked ribs, and my front teeth aren’t real; they’re dental implants.” My lips quiver and I stand to run to the restroom.
Skylar
I watch as Ava runs to the restroom. I want to run after her, but my legs refuse to move. My mind replays her words over and over in my head. What did that monster do to her? How could she have endured such beatings and I didn’t know? She never reached out for help. She never came to me once in the two years she was married to ask me to help her. Did she fear for her life? Is that why she never came to me for help? I sit there and watch as Chase and Marshall run after her. I want to go, but I can’t. Guilt runs through my body. I’ve let Ava down. She needed me and I wasn’t there for her. I honestly had no idea what Connor was capable of. I had no idea he was hurting her. I hear sniffles and look up at Claire. Claire? She had no idea of the nightmare her daughter was living. She didn’t know about Ava’s injuries either.
I stand and move over to sit beside Claire. I hug her and we both cry. It’s selfish. I should be comforting Ava. I don’t know how I can ever face her again. I was her best friend and I let this happen to her. I should have known something was wrong when she stopped calling or answering my calls. Deep down I suppose I did know, but I just had no idea about the severity of it. I had no idea he was capable of harming her; I just thought maybe he was controlling and was jealous of our friendshi
p. At times I also thought she was happy and just wanted Connor in her life. Married people are like that, right? They only need each other and not their old single friends.
“Stay here, I’m going to check on Ava.” I stand and see that Chase is walking Ava back to the table. I stare at Ava as I sit back down. Her eyes are red and puffy. Marshall isn’t with them.
When they both sit, I say, “I’m sorry, Ava. I should have done something.”
Ava stares at me with tear-stained eyes. “No, don’t. This isn’t your fault, just like it’s not Mom’s fault, or Chase’s fault, or Dad’s fault. Connor is the only one responsible for this. I don’t want anyone here blaming themselves for what’s happened.” Claire sniffles and Ava hugs her. “I’m fine. It was a bit of a shocker to hear about my injuries from the X-rays Doctor Adams performed, but I’m fine.”
“Are you, really?” Mom asks.
“I am. I promise.”
The waitress comes and sets the food on the table. Chase says, “Can we get his food to go, please? He had someplace he needed to be.”
“Marshall’s not coming back?” Claire asks.
“No, he asked me to take you home after lunch. He said he had someplace he needed to go.”
“I wonder if he went back to work.” I remember he said he wanted to kill Connor. I doubt he went back to work. I hope he didn’t go to Connor’s mom and dad’s house. On second thought, I hope he did. I want to know if they knew their son was a wife beater.
During lunch, Ava talks about happier times. She talks about the bed and breakfast, and she talks about a new book she’s been reading. “Jami Alexander writes the best romance books I have ever read.”
“I’ve never heard of her before,” Claire says.
“I found her online. She had a free book so I downloaded it. I loved it so much, I ordered all of her other books in paperback.”
“I’ll have to read one.” Claire lifts her glass of water. “I’m always looking for a good book to read, although I usually like more of a suspense book.”
“Her books aren’t just romance. They’re romance with a twist of real-life issues and problems people like us face. You should pre-order her next book. It’s called Lost in Savannah, Georgia.”
Claire smiles and I know it’s Ava’s way to take her mind off of the beatings that Ava endured at the hands of her husband, Connor. “I’ll do that as soon as I get home.”
After lunch, and only after Claire knows that Ava is all right, we leave to go home.
Marshall
I’ve had about all one father can take. How could I have been so stupid? Ava and I have always been close. When she started cancelling dinner and lunch dates with her mother and me, I should have known something was wrong. She always sounded fine on the phone, and Connor was so nice and attentive to Ava when we were around. I speed to Brett and Nichole’s house. If anyone knew that Connor was harming Ava, they would. They would have to know what their son was capable of.
I see Nichole’s car in the garage as I storm to the front door. I clench my fist as I ring the doorbell. Someone is taking ownership of Connor’s actions today. I suspected a lot of things about Connor, but not once did I suspect he was capable of hurting Ava. Well, not physically anyway. The day I cleared out Connor’s office with Brett after Connor’s death is when things became clear to me. I had no idea, and it started me on my crusade to learn everything I can about Connor while trying to protect Ava.
When no one answers, I ring the doorbell again, and I pound my fist on the door. I yell, “I know you’re home, I’m not leaving until we talk.”
“Hello, yes, I’m home. How can I help you?” Nichole speaks quietly from the other side of the closed door.
“We need to talk, now,” I yell.
“I’m sorry, Marshall. I just waxed the floors, and I can’t open the door right now.”
“Then let me in through the garage.” I turn to leave and she says, “I can’t.”
“Then let me in through the back. I need to talk to you about your son.”
“Marshall, I can’t. I’ve waxed the floors and they’re wet,” she whispers. “It’ll take an hour or more until they’re dry enough to walk on.”
“Fine, I’ll go to Brett’s work, then.”
I turn to leave and the door creeks open slightly. “No, don’t bother Brett.”
Turning around, I don’t see her standing there, but the door is slightly open. I need to get my composure, but I’m too pissed to think rationally. “Did you know your son was beating my daughter during their marriage?”
She opens the door further and peeks around it. She stands there with bright red blood on her face, her nose is actively bleeding, and her left eye is already bruising. Her normally neatly brushed hair is in disarray, and tears are streaming down her bloodied face. Splattered blood is on her white blouse.
“Nichole, what in the hell….”
“Marshall, you need to leave.” She wipes her bloody nose with the back of her hand.
Several things run through my mind and I don’t like any of them. Did Brett do this to her? Is this what Connor did to my Ava? Was Ava beaten this badly at the hands of a man who was supposed to have loved her? Did I hand my daughter over to a monster who was capable of harming her this badly? I walk into Nichole’s house uninvited and close the door tightly behind me.
“Is he here?” I begin to search the downstairs rooms of the house. “Brett, get your ass out here.”
“Marshall, he’s not here,” she says in a near whisper.
I turn to look at her and she cowers. I freeze. I would never hurt her. Is she so frightened that she believes I would hurt her, too? “Let’s get you cleaned up, then we’ll get you some help.”
“Marshall,” she says as she walks into the kitchen. “You need to leave. He won’t like finding you here when he returns.” She runs cold water over a dishtowel and holds it to her bleeding nose. I watch as she holds it with shaky hands.
My mind flashes with visions of Ava in this same condition. I want to run and hold my Ava tightly and protect her from this ever happening to her again, and at the same time, I want to dig Connor’s body up, and kill him all over again.
“Nichole, we need to get you some help. Please, come with me. You don’t need to stay here with him.”
“Marshall, please. You don’t understand.”
She’s right. I don’t understand. “You can stay with Claire and me. I can take you to a hotel, or anywhere you want. You’re better than this.”
“Am I?”