My torment from a few weeks earlier returned as I read this last letter. He had said he would never love another woman and that no one could ever replace her. So why had he come after me?
I shook my head, trying to clear it. Why did it matter why? Cole couldn’t touch me, he couldn’t hurt me. I needed a distraction.
The phone just rang and rang before Emily’s chipper voice told me to leave a message. I had tried to dismiss my worrying thoughts of Emily but it was going on four weeks now with no word from her. Her yoga class had been shut down and the owner of the building had told me he had not been able to get a hold of Emily for weeks either. It was time to figure out what was going on. I would have called the police weeks ago if it wasn’t for the fact of Emily’s very convictable past.
Whatever Alex had done to the GTO worked because it didn’t squeal anymore as I made the drive to Emily’s apartment. The sun shone bright and brilliant in the sky but it didn’t do much to lift my mood. I was tired of always feeling so down lately but I didn’t know how to dig myself out of this hole.
I knocked on Emily’s door hard and waited for her to open it. I knocked again, listening for any sounds from inside. There were none. I tried the door and to my total surprise, it was unlocked.
Feeling like I was encroaching upon Emily’s privacy, I let myself in. “Emily,” I called as I walked from the living room to the kitchen. When I didn’t see any signs of her I moved onto her bedroom and stood in shock in the doorway.
Emily was normally a very tidy person but her room was a disaster. Clothes were strewn everywhere, a jewelry box over turned, its contents strewn across the top of the dresser. Shoes were spilling out of the closet. I found her bathroom in much the same state.
My first thought had been that someone had broken in but I quickly dismissed this. If she had been robbed I was pretty sure her flat screen TV and other valuables would be gone. No, it looked as if Emily had done this herself. She had packed and left in a hurry.
I combed the apartment carefully, looking for any signs of where Emily may have run off to but found nothing. Had someone caught onto her and come to take her to prison? Maybe she’d gone on the run.
I had just closed the door behind me when a very overweight man came walking toward the door, a bright yellow sheet of paper in hand.
“Is Emily in there?” he demanded, his voice sounding irritated.
“No,” I answered, shielding my eyes against the bright sun. “I haven’t been able to get a hold of her in a while.”
The man gave a grunt, reached around me and taped the paper to the door. It was an eviction notice.
“She’s three weeks behind on her rent,” he explained when he saw the surprised expression on my face. “If I don’t get the money by the day after tomorrow I’m going to have no choice but to toss all her stuff in the dumpster.”
“You haven’t seen her around then?” I asked, dismay in my voice.
“Not in a few weeks. She always comes and pays the rent in person. She didn’t show up this time though. No phone call, nothing.”
“Does it matter who pays the rent?” I asked as I pulled my wallet out of my purse. “How much is it?”
The man’s face lit up as he looked at my wallet. “Don’t matter to me as long as I get some money. It’s four hundred plus utilities. Those are billed directly to the tenant though. You can usually get away with not paying those for at least a month or two before they shut them off.”
I had a hundred and fifty in cash in my wallet and wrote a check out for the rest. “Will you give me a call if you see or hear from her?” I asked as I wrote my number on a piece of paper and handed it to him with the money.
“Sure, whatever,” he said as he ripped the eviction notice off of the door, leaving the tape and a traces of the paper stuck to it. Without saying anything else he turned and waddled away.
Emily seriously owed me, wherever she was.
X
I stopped for gas on the way home and by the time I arrived home the sun was starting to set. Rod’s car pulled away from the curb just as I pulled in. He gave a wave and a smile but I was glad he didn’t stop to chat. I wasn’t in the best mood.
Amber wasn’t home yet. She had gotten a job as a receptionist at a temp agency not long after she had arrived. Apparently she was planning on staying a while. I suspected Rod had a lot to do with that. When I had found out about the job I called my dad to let him know where Amber was. He wasn’t happy with her for not letting him know where she had run off to but he had figured she had found me.
I found Alex pulling the bag out of the garbage can. He glanced up at me with a smile but I caught the hesitancy in it.
“Missed you,” he said as he tied the drawstrings closed and leaned over it to press a kiss quickly to my lips.
“I missed you too,” I said genuinely but feeling my mood start to sour again. “So what’d you guys do today? What was your big adventure?”
I saw the slight way Alex stiffened, the way his jaw clenched. He suddenly seemed very uncomfortable. “I kind of don’t want to tell you,” he said honestly, sounding like a twelve-year-old boy about to get in trouble.
“Why not?” I asked, feeling hurt, offended, and defensive all at the same time.
Alex sighed slightly before he sat at the bar, ignoring the bag of garbage on the floor. “We went shopping. Didn’t get anything yet but we went shopping.”
“Shopping?”
“Looking at rings,” Alex said, his expression becoming more uncomfortable by the moment.
“Rings?”
“Engagement rings.”
I was confused for a moment, hope rising for a brief moment before it was painfully crushed. Alex had already bought my engagement ring. Alex had gone with Rod.
“He’s going to propose?!” I suddenly bellowed, connecting the dots.
“Yeah, he’s planning on it,” Alex said quietly.
“But it’s only been…” I trailed off. I did the math in my head, counting how long Amber had been here. It had been just over a month now. I was about to protest and say they hadn’t known each other long enough to be talking about getting married but I then remembered that Alex and I had only known each other for about a month and a half before he planned to ask me to marry him.
“Huh,” I said quietly. It felt as if that rock had settled itself back into my stomach again. My limbs suddenly felt heavy and as if all the blood in them had been turned into ice. “Good for them.”
Without waiting for a response from Alex, I walked toward the back door that led out to the upper back deck.
“I’m sorry, Jessica,” Alex said quietly as I pulled the door open.
“Don’t be,” I whispered. “It’s my fault things are the way they are.”
Before Alex could protest or try to reason uselessly like I knew he would, I closed the door behind me. I hoped he wouldn’t follow me and I was glad when I heard his footsteps walk across the floor to the garage, taking the trash out.
I sat on one of the lounge chairs and pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. The sun started to set, dyeing the sky an angry blood red. It stretched from the hilltop behind me, over my head, before giving way to the darkening cloudy sky in the east.
I didn’t realize there were tears pouring down my cheeks until the muffled sob that escaped my chest made me jump. All of my insides trembled and rattled. I felt weak and tired yet my limbs held their form stiffly as I tried to hold myself together and prevent myself from shattering from the inside out like I felt I was about to.
The desire to scream at someone filled me. I wanted to scream at Alex. To tell him to just do it and stop giving me his excuses that made no sense. I wanted to scream at Cole, for telling me in the first place that Alex had planned on proposing. I wanted to scream at everyone in the afterlife, for trying to take me before it should have been my time to go in the first place. If they hadn’t have tried to take me, Alex wouldn’t have had to sacrifice his ow
n life to save mine.
But what was the point? Screaming wasn’t going to change anything. The council had already been gracious enough to give me any time with Alex. I somehow knew that Cole was gone now, so screaming at him wasn’t an option. And I knew, no matter how mad I was at Alex, I could never scream at him. I owed him so much. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. And besides that, I loved Alex.
I still wanted to scream though. I was tired of always crying so maybe screaming would have been a nice change.
When I heard the door open, I didn’t turn to look and see who it was. I was enough of a freak now to recognize the sound and way everyone walked. Amber was home.
“Are you and Alex fighting?” she said as she sat in the chair next to me.
“Kind of,” I muttered against my knees and wiped a tear away. “How’d you guess?”
“He just seemed really depressed. Didn’t even say anything. I could just feel it rolling off him,” she said as she mirrored my stance. “Want to talk about it?”
“Not really,” I sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“Does it have something to do with the feathers?” Amber asked quietly.
Amber couldn’t seem to make herself refer to Alex as being angel, whenever something came up she just referred to “the feathers” or “the wings.”
“Yeah,” I whispered as I wiped at a tear that had escaped onto my cheek.
“Whatever it is, you two will work things out. You two are perfect for each other. I don’t think I’ve seen two people more in love.”
I gave my sister an appreciative smile. “Speaking of which,” I said, trying to change the subject. “How are you and Rod doing?”
I didn’t even have to look at Amber’s face to see the way it lit up. “Amazing,” she burst. “Jessica, I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. He’s the most amazing man I’ve ever known. I’m so in over my head.”
“I can tell,” I said as I met her smiling face, trying to smile back.
“I think…” she said, her gaze dropping to her knees for a moment. “I feel so sappy for saying it but, I think he’s the one!”
I just smiled at her for a minute, trying to keep it genuine. “I’m happy for you, Amber. You deserve someone perfect for you.” And I meant it. It didn’t mean I wasn’t almost violently jealous that she was about to get what she wanted and it seemed I never was.
CHAPTER TWELVE
ALEX
I set the groceries on the counter and went to answer the phone as it started ringing. Jessica followed me in, carrying another brown paper bag.
“Hello,” a female voice on the other end said. “Is Mrs. Wright there?”
“She passed away a few months ago,” I answered as I watched Jessica start to put the food away. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched her fluid movements. It was so weird to see her move that way, it still freaked me out just a little.
“I’m sorry to hear that sir. Mrs. Jessica Wright?”
Hearing Jessica’s name paired with mine jerked me back into paying attention to what the woman on the line had to say. “Uh, there’s no one here by that name,” I said as I looked away, feeling guilty or something for some strange reason. It wasn’t like Jessica could hear the woman. At least I didn’t think she could.
“Well sir, perhaps you might be interested in our special offer today…” she started her pitch.
“Ah,” I groaned, realizing this was a sales call. “Not interested. Thank you!” I tried to say nicely as I hung up the phone.
“Who was that?” Jessica asked as she bent over and put something in a lower cupboard.
“Just a sales call,” I said with a half grin on my face. I couldn’t help but stare at Jessica. I tried to be the nice guy but I was still a guy.
“What are you looking at?” she asked with a sly smile as she stood up and caught me staring.
I chuckled as I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her tiny waist. “The most beautiful thing known to man,” I teased as I bent my head and pressed my lips to hers. “And she’s mine.”
Jessica only smiled in return as she moved her lips with mine. Not thinking about what I was doing, I lifted her off the floor and her legs wrapped around my waist. Distracted, I made my way to the leather couch.
She had no idea, the amount of restraint it took to keep from hurting her when we were together like this. I had to watch every movement I made with my hands, check every embrace, just to make sure I didn’t crush her. Had she been a normal person she would have constantly been covered in bruises. Jessica was far from normal though.
“Alex,” she moaned into my throat. “I really don’t want to stop.”
“Me either,” I growled as I moved my lips against her neck. Before I even realized what was happening, Jessica had peeled my shirt off and unbuttoned my pants.
And then the door suddenly opened and in walked Amber.
“Whoa,” she said as she diverted her eyes from us as we scrambled to get off each other. “Sorry to be interrupting something. You know you two do have rooms?”
“Shut up Amber,” Jessica chuckled as she tried to tame back her impossible hair. I loved it when it got crazy like that.
“Nice going though, Jess,” she chuckled as she walked into her room. “They don’t come better sculpted than that.”
I could only smile uncomfortably as I tried to tug my shirt down over my head.
JESSICA
I stared back at my reflection in the perfectly calm ocean water, searching my face. There was something hidden inside of me that wasn’t really a part of me. It was different than me. It felt like an enemy.
My mind replayed over all the things that were happening lately. What was it about me that drew Cole out? Why didn’t I bleed the other day? Why was I so scared to look in the mirror these days?
What was wrong with me?
I splashed my hand through the water, sending endless ripples crashing across my reflection. My chest felt tight as I straightened and looked out over the water. The islands were perfectly visible today.
I turned and started running through the trees.
What is wrong with me? I repeated that question over and over in my mind. It rushed around me in a maddening circle, showing me no answers.
The ground became a green and brown blur beneath my feet and I didn’t even see my surroundings as they whipped by. I wanted to out run it all, to leave all the impossibilities and insanities behind. I’d had enough of it all.
The next second there was nothing but air beneath my feet.
The next the Earth came crashing against my body.
All the air was forced out of my lungs as I slammed to the rocky ground. I rolled onto my side, my eyes struggling to focus on anything. I was confused at first. There was a huge rock wall that rose up to the side of me. It took me a moment to realize that I had run right off the edge of the twenty-five or so foot cliff.
I pulled myself up, wincing as every part of my body screamed at me. I shook the debris out of my tangled hair. Looking back up to the top of the cliff, I swallowed hard. I should have easily broken both of my legs, at least one of my arms, and done plenty more damage.
As I did an assessment of how I felt, I realized I felt perfectly fine.
I climbed to my feet. The pain faded away and I started walking again.
Perfectly fine. That was the wrong description. I felt like I freak. I didn’t feel human. There was something terribly, horribly wrong with me.
How long had I been like this and not noticed? I had known something was different since I had nearly died but had this been the “different”?
My head spun and I suddenly wondered if I even could pass out. My feet stumbled, one in front of the other, back in the direction of the house. Before long I was running again. The trees fell away behind me in a green and brown blur. Literally. I felt like I was flying, except that my feet were still pounding the springy earth beneath me.
I came to the river that flo
wed out of the lake and crossed it in one bounding leap. My feet felt light, my entire frame moving with a grace that felt foreign to me. I didn’t even realize I was close to home until I shot across the narrow road and crashed into something both soft and hard at the same time.
“What the…” the something shouted as we crashed onto the driveway. I then realized that the something was Alex.
Pain exploded from my forearm and as I looked down at it my stomach rolled when I saw that it looked like a cheese grater had been taken to my skin, little pieces of rock and dirt embedded into it. Despite everything that had happened in the last five minutes, I was still horrified when no blood surfaced. It closed up in just a few seconds, the gravel dropping to the ground.
I looked up into Alex’s face, his eyes staring wide at my arm. I looked away quickly, pushing myself up to my feet.
“You want to explain what just happened?” he said as he too stood up.
“What are you talking about?” I said lamely as I walked toward the front door.
“Excuse me?” he said as he followed. “Are you going to just pretend you weren’t moving at the speed of a rocket and that you suddenly seem to have regenerative powers?”
My bottom lip started trembling as I opened the front door and stepped inside. Alex silently closed it behind me, his frame standing near enough I could feel his body warmth against my skin.
“Well?” he said, his tone softer now.
“Yeah,” I said, my voice cracking as I did. “Yeah, I am going to pretend that it didn’t happen.”
“Hey,” he said softly as he placed a hand on my shoulder and turned me around to face him. When he saw the tears that had finally broke from my eyes, he wrapped his arms around me. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know, Alex,” I said, my voice cracking again. At least I could still cry. “I don’t really want to talk about it. Enough is already wrong right now.”