Su’Neena.
What was she doing? He crept closer, trying to figure out why she was hovering over a flat stone, her mouth moving silently. A chant? Was she signaling someone?
Time to get some answers that were long overdue. Fingering the hilt of the borrowed blade in the sheath at his hip, he started toward her, but drew up short before he made it half a dozen steps. Expecting her to chat like an old friend, or even an old enemy, wasn’t going to work. She was stubborn and crafty, and she wouldn’t give up anything easily. It was even possible that Hunter wouldn’t press her unless he had hard evidence that what Lobo claimed was true. Without her confession, Lobo would look like a liar, and his expulsion from the clan would be considered justified.
Fuck that. He was getting a confession, and he’d break every law of man, nature, and vampire to do it.
Inhaling a deep, ragged breath, he summoned an image in his mind of ShadowSpawn’s clan chief, Kars, and hoped he was capable of shifting. Tehya’s blood and the bag of human blood he’d sucked down after his shower at MoonBound had done a lot to fortify him, but still, taking another form this soon after the last shift would be iffy. Even if he could pull it off, it wouldn’t last long. He had to hurry.
He closed his eyes and concentrated, encouraging the burn of the shift, welcoming the pain of it. Every snap of bone and rip of torn nerves could be laid at Su’Neena’s feet, and he was going to make her pay.
Finally, agonizing heartbeats later, he was the spitting image of Kars. At least, he hoped so. It wasn’t as if he had a mirror to check. He just wished he could shift clothes as well. Kars didn’t seem like a jeans-and-tee kind of psychopathic tyrant. He was more of a my jacket is made from the skin of my enemy type.
The pain of the shift faded as he circled the clearing and approached Su’Neena from the front. She looked up from the rock and let out a startled yelp.
“Kars.” She swallowed loud enough for him to hear. “I only just sent out the signal. How did you know I’d be here?” She lowered her voice to a near whisper. “Did our . . . mutual friend warn you that I may have been compromised?”
Mutual friend? Did MoonBound have another spy in its ranks?
“Yeah,” he said, running with it. “How’d you get out so quickly?”
She looked around, her eyes wild, as if she expected an ambush. “He came to me in my quarters. Said Hunter was questioning the skinwalker. If the skinwalker talks . . .” Her expression twisted into an ugly mask of hate. He knew the feeling. “I told you we should have tried again to kill him.”
The way she spoke so casually about killing him made him want to reach out and strangle her. He hoped there’d be time for that later.
“Those were your failures,” he said, figuring Kars would pin any and all blame for pretty much any failure on someone else. “Contact our mutual friend and have him meet us.”
“Yes,” she said, bending over the rock again, “of course. He’s probably nearby, pretending to search for me—” She broke off with a gasp and stumbled forward, clutching her throat. Blood sprayed from her mouth as she clawed at a crossbow bolt punching out of her neck.
Son of a bitch! Lobo palmed his dagger as Tehya burst from the brush to put herself between him and a dozen armed ShadowSpawn fighters filing into the small space to surround them. Their leader, Kars, shoved his way forward from the back of the pack, the unholy light of bloodlust glinting in his dark eyes.
“Chain the skinwalker and kill the wolf.” Kars gestured to Tehya with his blood-crusted ax. “I want the pelt. Hurry. MoonBound can’t be far away.”
“No!” A white-hot veil of fury slammed down over Lobo’s vision, obliterating everything that made him civilized. He’d spent his entire life protecting himself from vampires who would kill him for what he was. Now it was time to embrace what he was, consequences be damned.
He shouted as his body ripped apart, every cell breaking down and reforming, doubling, growing. He heard barked orders, Tehya’s snarls. Everything was a blur of rage, fur, claws, and teeth as he charged the nearest vampire. His massive body was faster than he’d expected, his thoughts slower and more primitive. He thought only about killing the ones who threatened Tehya.
His grizzly roar shook the trees as arrows and spears pierced his flesh, but the pain only made him angrier. Bone crunched between his jaws and blood poured down his throat as the stench of death filled the clearing. Dimly, through the throbbing din of fury in his ears, he heard MoonBound join the fray, and the forest filled with the sounds of Tehya’s growls, angry shouts, screams of pain.
But he hadn’t yet tasted the blood of the one he wanted. All around him, MoonBound and ShadowSpawn clashed, but Kars was outnumbered. It would be over in moments—
Kars.
The bastard had his arms raised to swing his ax at Tehya. Lobo shot across the clearing and pinned him before the blow landed. Kars slammed into the ground, knocking the air from his lungs in an explosive cough.
Lobo was going to knock more out of him than air. He raised his heavy, claw-tipped paw that was twice the size of Kars’s head.
“Lobo!” Hunter’s command penetrated the battle haze fogging Lobo’s mind. “Ease up there, Smokey. We need Kars alive.”
Why? The question came out as a roar that made Hunter take a step back. Something nipped his ear, clearing his mind even more, and he swung his head around to Tehya. She pawed at his shoulder, getting his attention, helping to bring him down. He blinked. Everything was under control. MoonBound’s fighters had surrounded and disarmed the surviving ShadowSpawn warriors, and it appeared that MoonBound’s people had taken only minor injuries.
He probably didn’t need to be wearing a half-ton bear suit anymore. Besides, his body was wrecked, pierced by spears and arrows, and he was pretty sure his flank had been flayed open with a hatchet. As if his brain had finally realized how much damage he’d taken, the wounds began to scream.
He clenched his teeth and rode out the agony of the shift, concentrating to keep Kars pinned as the shift bore out. When it was over, his body was healed but weakened; but as he looked down at his scarred, ugly hand, he realized he was in Kars’s form.
Even though he hadn’t caught his breath, he dipped his head and put his mouth to the male’s ear.
“Here’s the deal, you bastard. I know you’re responsible for killing two yearlings from the Red River wolf pack. If you harm Tehya or any wolf ever again, I’ll take you out while wearing the face of the person you love the most. Your daughter, maybe? You’ll look into her eyes while you die. Understood?”
Kars’s face turned crimson with rage, his eyes bulging from their sockets, but he nodded. With a shove, Lobo pushed away from the asshole and came to his feet, taking grim satisfaction from the way Kars got up a lot more slowly than Lobo had. Having a grizzly bear parked on his rib cage must have been excruciating.
Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.
Hunter looked Lobo up and down, shaking his head as he took in Kars’s double. “You don’t learn, do you?”
Lobo shuddered as he let go of the energy required to hold on to Kars’s form. The agony of the shift was muted by the sheer relief of finally being back in his own body. He’d never shifted so many times so rapidly, and he didn’t want to do that again. His bones felt like rubber, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could stay upright without a little help from a tree.
“I’ll gladly take the punishment for this one,” Lobo muttered as he knelt to check Tehya for injuries. She licked his face and wagged her tail before hopping out of reach, clearly unharmed and unhappy about being poked and prodded.
Hunter cursed down at Su’Neena’s body. “Somehow, Kars, I’m not surprised that you killed your own spy to protect your secret.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kars shot back, his dark eyes wide with feigned innocence. “I thought she was an enemy.”
“He’s lying.” Lobo might be exhausted, but he had enough piss left in him to bea
t the truth out of the clan leader. Too bad Hunter stopped him before he could go three steps.
“I know he’s lying.” Hunter stripped Su’Neena of her weapons. “And he’ll pay for it. Someday.”
“Arrogant bastard.” Kars picked up his ax from where he’d dropped it when bear-Lobo attacked him, and he used it to gesture at Lobo. “I want his head on a stake. He wore my skin, and under Raven law—”
“We don’t recognize Raven law.” Hunter’s voice lowered ominously. “Luckily for you.”
Kars sputtered and cursed before getting hold of himself. “Even Crow worshippers can call for the death penalty when someone impersonates a clan chief. This is a major violation of vampire law, Hunter.” He practically spit Hunter’s name. “When the tribes convene in Sedona—”
“When the tribes convene in Sedona, I will make it very clear that my authority in this instance is law.” Hunter’s black smile reeked of self-satisfaction and the arrogance that came from knowing you held all the cards. “Multiple clans have sworn allegiance to me, and I guarantee that the tribal elders will fall in line. War with the humans is coming, Kars, and without MoonBound and the power we wield, vampires will lose. I will have my way in this.”
“Dude,” Baddon whispered to Lobo, “if I was into males, Hunter’s speech would totally have made me hard.” He jabbed Takis in the ribs with his elbow. “Right? You hard?”
Takis whacked Baddon upside the head with his palm even as he kept his crossbow aimed at a ShadowSpawn warrior. “You’re an idiot.” He shrugged. “And I might be a little hard.”
Damn, things at MoonBound had changed. Back when Lobo had belonged, no one would have gotten away with joking like that. Hunter really had chilled out.
Lobo left Takis and Baddon to their banter and joined Hunter, who had just finished telling Kars to fuck off. At least, he assumed those were Hunter’s words, spoken in a language Lobo didn’t recognize. Kars clearly understood, but even as his face burned scarlet with rage, he turned stiffly and disappeared into the forest with his dead and wounded warriors on the backs of surviving warriors.
“Just so we’re clear, you believe Su’Neena was a traitor now, right?” Lobo asked.
Hunter nodded as he shoved his bone-handled blade into the sheath at his hip. “I believed you when you told me. I just had to make sure my clan believed it too.”
Well, that would have been good to know. Hunter had changed, but he was still a bit of a dick.
“Before Kars shot her, she talked about a mutual friend.” Lobo did a quick distance check to make sure no one was within earshot or listening, but lowered his voice anyway. “Hunter, I think you have another traitor in your ranks.”
“I know.” Hunter met his gaze, and in the depths of his dark, intelligent eyes, Lobo was stunned to see a spark of respect. “Thank you. Both of you.” He bent to pet Tehya, his hand smoothing over her sleek head. “Maybe Nicole or our other mystic-keeper can find a way to turn her back. You’re both welcome at MoonBound.” He straightened. “Permanently, if you want.”
Tehya took off, ears up and tail erect, which meant she was after a rabbit or a squirrel. He smiled, but his heart wept. This wasn’t right. How could he have found the female of his dreams—literally—only to have her gone so soon? How could he go back to the way things had been, knowing that the vampire he loved was trapped in another body?
“Yeah,” he rasped. “I’ll bring Tehya in tomorrow.”
Hunter gripped his shoulder and shook him a little. “Hey. Listen . . . Nicole will figure it out. And when Tehya turns back, there will be no repercussions for mating her.”
Lobo blinked, unsure he’d just heard that right. “What do you mean?”
“I mean just what I said to Kars. Things are changing, Lobo. The vampire race is evolving, and our laws and customs need to evolve with it.”
“Damn,” Lobo said under his breath, unable to believe this was the son of one of the most brutal clan leaders in the vampire race’s history. “You’re not the male I remember.”
“Yeah, well, I can’t take all the credit.” Hunter dragged his hand through his hair and gazed longingly in the direction of home. “I have a mate who has some experience with animal-based abilities, and she sort of led me to some revelations.”
Lobo thought of Tehya and nodded slowly. “I know what you mean.”
“Come on,” Hunter said. “Let’s go home.”
Lobo’s heart turned inside out, because, yes, he had a home. And he had Tehya. But it was no longer the same.
It would never be the same again.
11
Tehya woke to the sound of Lobo building a fire. She watched him as she always had, from her rug near the door, but this morning something was different. It was the way he was moving. Instead of his usual brisk, sure movements, he was slow. Mechanical. As if he was going through the motions.
How long had it been now since she’d turned back into a wolf? A couple of weeks, she thought. A couple of weeks of daily treks to MoonBound so she could be poked, prodded, dosed with strange herbs, and subjected to bizarre chants. She was starting to lose her patience with it all, had even snarled at the mystic-keeper a couple of times. But, damn it, she wanted to be a vampire again, and nothing was working. She was frustrated and angry and on the verge of giving up hope.
Maybe Lobo was feeling the same way.
She nudged his arm as he crouched in front of the woodstove, forcing him to acknowledge her. But when he looked at her, the sadness in his eyes broke her heart.
“I know you’re in there, Tehya,” he said roughly. “I know you can understand me. And I know I shouldn’t say this because you can’t help it, but I miss you.” He took a deep, shuddering breath, and when he spoke again, his voice dripped with pain she felt all the way to her soul. “And you know what I think? I think taking you to MoonBound after you were shot wasn’t as much about saving your life as it was about saving mine.” He gripped her by her scruff and buried his face in her neck, his big body trembling as he held her.
She whimpered, sensing his distress as if it were her own. Probably because it was.
“Fuck,” he whispered. “I can’t do this.”
Abruptly he was on his feet and out the door, slamming it closed behind him.
And on the floor, in a tiny little puddle, was a single teardrop.
Lobo was hurting, and she couldn’t do anything about it. Her presence was probably making it worse. She was a constant reminder of what they could have had.
Sitting down, she howled, letting out her own pain in the only way she could. A few weeks ago she’d been content as a wolf. She hadn’t known how to live as a vampire, and she had nothing to go back to in her human life. Not that she could go back. Kristen Parker was probably listed as missing or presumed dead, and if she returned as a vampire, she’d either be killed or enslaved. So, yes, she’d been content as a wolf. Happy, even. She hadn’t wanted to shift back.
But now . . . now she wanted to be a vampire. She wanted Lobo.
Her eyes stung and her vision blurred as tears threatened to spill.
Wolves don’t cry.
She froze mid-howl as a warm tingle spread through her body. Both times when she’d turned into a wolf, she’d gotten tingles, but they’d been cold, as if she were being stabbed with millions of icy needles. She still wasn’t sure how exactly she’d made the shift happen, but the same pull was tugging at her now. All she had to do was reach out and take it.
Take it.
No!
Panic reached up and seized her by the throat, and it made no sense. She wanted to be a vampire. She did. She’d have responsibilities, relationships, love.
And pain. People die.
She didn’t want to think about that. Didn’t want to admit that maybe part of the reason she’d been content to be a wolf was that she didn’t have to deal with the death of her mother, the only family she had. As a wolf, her human/vampire emotions and memories had been dulled, and it had worked for her
for a long time. But now she had a family again, and something to run to instead of from.
And she had someone to run with.
The thought of Lobo made her heart beat faster, and then she was through with the second-guessing. She surrendered to the pull, surrendered to the pain of the shift, and a few agonizing seconds later she was standing in the middle of the cabin. On two legs.
Naked. Why did she keep losing her clothes? Lobo never lost his when he shifted.
She didn’t bother looking for something to wear. She sprinted to the door and threw it open. Fog and drizzle painted the sky and the landscape beyond the porch in somber colors, but as Lobo wheeled around, his hair whipping across the hard planes of his face, the world got a lot brighter.
“Tehya.” He stared in astonishment. “What . . . how . . . ?” She threw her arms around him and hugged him so hard he grunted. “Okay,” he wheezed. “Doesn’t matter.”
She peppered his face and neck with kisses. “I figured it out,” she said between nuzzles and pecks. God, he tasted good. Smelled even better, as if he’d been chopping wood in the rain.
He eased back and looked down at her, his brows pulled down hard over his eyes. “How?”
“Once I realized why I couldn’t shift . . . I don’t know, it just happened.” She slid her hand down to his sternum and measured his heartbeat in her palm. It was beating as fast as hers. “It wasn’t a glitch with my breeding or my turning. It was a mental block.”
“A mental block?”
“It’s so obvious now.” She was babbling, but she didn’t care. Her body was overflowing with excitement and joy, as if sparkling wine had replaced her blood. “For all of those years, I couldn’t turn back because I didn’t want to. My life was so messed up, and I’d lost everything. What did I have to go back to, you know? I had nothing left to claim as my own.”
He knew. She saw it in his eyes and the way his throat convulsed on a swallow. “But now you have something to come back to? Something to claim?”