She shook her head. ‘I’ve got it.’
With a shrug, he returned to his work.
When she’d set up the ladder on the other side of the tree, she turned back to him and spoke quickly before she could change her mind.
‘Look. I’m sorry for… like, earlier. That wasn’t cool.’
His rake stilled and he looked up at her, surprise leaving his face unguarded for a second.
‘That’s OK,’ he said. ‘I don’t blame you.’
‘To be honest,’ she looked down at her clippers, ‘I got spooked in the garden. Thought I heard something. But it was just you guys. So… I overreacted.’
‘No one could blame you for being on edge, Allie,’ he said. ‘I am, too. We all are. You have nothing to apologise for.’
‘Oh, I think I have a lot to apologise for.’
Carter didn’t miss the wry tone in her tone and he looked at her searchingly. ‘Why’d you do it, Allie?’ he asked. ‘Why’d you leg it?’
Leaning back against the ladder she glanced up at the lightening sky, remembering how she’d felt that day.
‘I felt like… like nothing happened,’ she said. ‘Like, Jo died and then everyone went back to business as usual except me. And I don’t want business as usual. Ever again.’
He nodded to himself, biting his bottom lip. ‘Thing is,’ he said after a second, ‘nobody went back to business as usual, Allie.’
She hadn’t expected that.
‘What do you mean?’ she asked, her brow creasing.
‘I mean, everything changed. I guess nobody told you because they knew you… needed space or whatever.’ He plucked a dead leaf from the tree, avoiding her gaze. ‘But we’ve been having loads of meetings about it. All Night School training has changed, too. They are looking for the spy – everyone’s completely paranoid about it. And Raj tracked Gabe and Nathaniel everywhere they’ve been.’ He shook his head and his gaze glanced off hers. ‘You know Raj is Batman, right?’
‘So wait.’ Allie needed him to get back to the point. ‘Are you saying all this stuff has been happening but nobody told me?’
Carter’s expression was hard to read. ‘Isabelle said you weren’t ready yet. You needed to grieve.’
Allie’s jaw was so tight it was difficult to speak.
‘I’ve grieved enough,’ she said. ‘Now I’m ready to make Nathaniel pay.’
NINE
A
llie’s classes went more smoothly that day – students paid less attention to her, and the lessons began to make a tiny amount of sense.
In her free moments she thought about what Carter had told her. Why hadn’t Isabelle ever mentioned what they were doing? She tried to remember anything the headmistress had said about tracing Jo’s attacker, finding the spy. But all she could recall was being told not to worry about it. That it was under control.
But as afternoon turned into evening, and evening into night, she grew increasingly jittery. She was about to find out for herself – her Night School training started that night.
When she joined Rachel and Zoe in the library after dinner, nerves gnawed at her stomach and it was hard to focus on Rachel’s chemistry tutoring.
‘You’re not paying, like, a huge amount of attention,’ Rachel complained when Allie stumbled over the same problem for the third time.
‘Soz.’ Allie dropped her pencil with a sigh. ‘Maybe I just need to do something else for a while and come back to this. My brain is tired.’
Across the table, though, Zoe gave a significant look. Allie glanced at her watch – it was nearly nine. Time to get ready.
‘Actually,’ she said, pushing back her chair, ‘I think I’m just knackered.’ She began gathering her books. ‘I guess I’ll have an early night and start fresh tomorrow.’
Rachel gave a sympathetic nod. ‘Probably a good idea. You do look worn out.’
‘I have to go too.’ Zoe jumped to her feet. ‘I’m way ahead with my work, anyway.’
As they hurried out, guilt nibbled away at Allie’s battered conscience. Lying to Rachel felt wrong. Their friendship was being re-forged link by link – deception made it seem more fragile.
Outside the library door, Zoe stopped. ‘I’m going upstairs to drop my books first. Want to come?’
But Allie just wanted to get on with it and she shook her head. ‘I’ll meet you down there.’
After Zoe dashed up the stairs to the girls’ dorm, Allie made her way down the grand hallway, her heart in her throat. She could do this. She could go back to Night School and not screw it up this time.
She was so lost in thought she didn’t hear footsteps. Turning a corner, she ran headlong into someone coming the other way. Their shoulders collided with a jarring thud that sent a quick sharp pain down Allie’s side.
‘Ouch. Bugger… I mean, sorry.’ Allie reeled back clutching her arm. Only then did she see who she’d crashed into.
‘Did I hurt you?’ Sylvain’s blue eyes surveyed her with concern.
‘I’m fine,’ she said, flushing, although she wasn’t entirely certain that was true.
When he saw the way she held her arm, his brow furrowed. ‘Merde. I did hurt you.’
He reached for her shoulder as if he could fix her then thought better of it and dropped his hands. ‘I’m sorry, Allie. I was in a hurry – I didn’t see you.’
‘It’s not that bad,’ she mumbled. Looking up, she met his vivid gaze. ‘I don’t think you broke me.’
‘I can’t believe I was so clumsy. I’m just late for…’ He gestured down the hall to where the door leading down to the basement yawned open.
‘I’m going there too,’ Allie said.
His eyes widened. ‘You’re back in it again? When did this happen?’
She shrugged, as if Night School was no big deal. ‘It’s part of my punishment.’
His eyes swept across her face – although he didn’t mention it, she got the feeling he was surprised she was talking to him. She’d been diligently avoiding him since the night of the winter ball.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to him. She just hadn’t known what to say. Their kiss that night had been so epic – so intense. Just thinking about it made her heart flutter.
But then Jo died. And the world changed overnight.
That night she learned Nathaniel would kill the people she cared about. That night she’d decided to try not to care about anyone ever again.
‘It must be hard for you after everything that happened,’ he said. ‘Are you ready?’
‘I don’t know,’ she admitted. ‘But I have to do it. For her.’
He nodded as if he’d expected nothing else. ‘I would do the same.’
Her eyes darted up to his. ‘You would?’
‘Of course,’ he said. ‘It’s the only way. You have to get strong and you have to fight. And win.’
‘Thanks,’ she said, meaning it. ‘That helps.’
When he smiled it softened his sharp features, making him look boyish – less sophisticated. Sometimes he seemed so grown-up it was easy to forget he was only sixteen.
Then he glanced at his watch and the smile faded.
‘We will both be late, I’m afraid,’ he said. ‘I have to run upstairs first.’
‘Of course,’ Allie said, taking a step away.
‘Allie…’
She looked up at him enquiringly but he seemed to change his mind.
‘Nothing,’ he said. ‘See you down there.’
He sped away with the smooth gait of a panther.
Alone, Allie made her way downstairs. The once-familiar basement steps had never looked grimier or less inviting. And the walk down that dingy, narrow corridor had never seemed lonelier. She was relieved when she reached the girls’ dressing room.
The big square space was mostly empty – only a handful of girls were getting ready, most already in their black Night School training gear.
In one corner, she saw Nicole, still in her school uniform. As she
flipped her long dark hair up into a ponytail, their eyes met. Nicole didn’t seem surprised to see her – or if she was, she hid it well.
‘So, are you ready to return to the meat grinder?’ Her French accent made ‘meat’ sound like ‘met’.
‘Is that what we’re calling it now?’ Allie forced a smile.
‘It is an appropriate name, n’est ce pas?’
Nicole’s bitter tone perfectly reflected the way Allie felt. A bit brave. A bit angry.
The two of them had only got to know each other at the end of last term but Allie had quickly started to like her. She was far too pretty – small and slim, with huge brown eyes – but she didn’t seem to be afraid of anything.
‘Good point.’ Allie walked over to a hook with ‘Sheridan’ stencilled above it in neat square letters. Hanging from it were black leggings, two snug-fitting long-sleeved tops – one for inside, one for outside – and a zip-up jacket. Stacked on the wooden bench below were sturdy waterproof running shoes, a black knitted hat and thermal gloves.
She wondered if it had all been there the whole time she’d been out of Night School. Just waiting for her to come back.
Rather than unbuttoning her white blouse, Allie pulled it off over her head – turning it inside out in the process. As she reached for the pullover, she saw Nicole’s eyes flicker across her scars, red against the white skin of her arms and torso. It was the first time anyone other than her doctors had seen what the accident did to her and, flushing, she hurried to pull the black top over her head.
Noticing this, Nicole shook her head. ‘Don’t be ashamed of your scars.’ Startled, Allie glanced over at her. ‘Be proud of them. They are a symbol of your survival. Of your strength.’
What bollocks, Allie thought, bristling. I’m not strong. I’m a failure.
But as they finished changing in silence Nicole’s words stayed with her. After all, she was alive, wasn’t she? She’d taken on two guys twice her size, and she’d won.
The scars were proof of that.
When she changed into her leggings, she didn’t try to hide the ugly red mark on her left knee.
Nicole waited for Allie to finish; they walked together into the training room where several dozen Night School students stretched and chatted on the blue exercise matting. When those near the door noticed Allie, they fell silent.
Feeling exposed, she looked around for familiar faces. Jules and Carter stood on the far side of the room with Lucas. Carter had his back to her but Jules nudged him and he turned to see. Their eyes met. He gave her a polite nod and then turned back to his conversation.
Looking at the back of his head, she swallowed hard, angry with herself.
What had she expected? For him to run over and hug her? Welcome her back to Night School?
Still, after their conversation this morning she’d hoped for more than this and it hurt a little. The pain was quick and sharp – an emotional bee sting – and colour crept up her cheeks.
Turning to Nicole, she scrambled to think of something, anything, to say so everyone would know she didn’t care one bit.
‘So… how are you?’ was all she could come up with.
I hate my own brain, she thought, anguished.
Nicole, though, missed nothing. ‘Fabulous, darling,’ she said with a delighted, musical laugh, as if Allie had said something clever and hilarious. ‘Should we go over here?’
She tilted her head away from Jules and Carter.
‘God yes.’ Allie couldn’t keep the relief from her voice.
As they sped across the room, someone called her name. Slowing, Allie turned to see Eloise walking towards them, a cheerful smile brightening her face.
Allie felt better instantly. The librarian was one of her favourite Night School instructors. Young and vivacious, she had always been someone Allie felt she could trust.
‘Welcome back to Night School,’ Eloise said, draping an arm across her shoulders. Then she lowered her voice. ‘Are you ready for this?’
It was clearly the question of the night.
‘I guess so,’ Allie said. ‘I mean… I hope so.’
‘You’ll be fine,’ Eloise said with absolute confidence. ‘I wanted to tell you about our plan.’
‘Plan?’
‘Because of the accident we need to ease you back into the physical work,’ Eloise explained. ‘We can’t just drop you in with everyone else – you’re not ready. So we’ve been working with your doctors on a strength-building programme for you. You’ll have two training partners instead of just the one.’ She grinned broadly. ‘And I’ll oversee your progress personally.’
Relief washed over Allie.Out of all the instructors, Eloise would have been her choice. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.
Nicole leaned into their conversation. ‘Who will her partners be?’
‘You for one,’ Eloise said, and Allie felt even more cheered.
‘And the other?’ Nicole asked.
Eloise looked at Allie. ‘How would you feel about having your old partner back?’
Hardly believing it was possible, Allie said, ‘Zoe? Really?’
The librarian’s grin widened. ‘Yep. The unholy alliance is back together, just as it should be.’
Allie smiled back at her. ‘Thanks, Eloise.’
‘Don’t thank me too soon,’ the librarian cautioned. ‘You’ve got a lot of hard work ahead of you. This isn’t going to be easy.’
But as Eloise walked away to talk to Jerry Cole, Allie felt better. She wasn’t going to have to do this all alone.
‘All right, gather up everyone.’
At the sound of Zelazny’s booming voice she hurried to join the others encircling the history teacher. In the centre of the training room he stood ramrod-straight, his pate glistening through his thinning hair in the fluorescent light. His pale blue eyes scanned the group for anyone not paying full attention.
‘We will start tonight as we did earlier this week with some basic krav maga techniques, so pair up with your partners, do some quick stretching and then we’ll begin.’
As the students broke up into pairs, Allie looked around in confusion.
Krav maga?
Carter had told her things had changed down here since the attack. Now she was starting to see what he meant.
‘There you are.’ Dashing up to her, Zoe grabbed her hand and began pulling her to the back of the room. ‘Did you hear we’re going to be partners again? It’s about time.’ She glanced at Allie critically. ‘I hope you don’t slow us down too much. You’re really out of shape.’
Allie winced. Next to her, Nicole fought a giggle.
‘Zoe, sometimes you are a little… too honest,’ Nicole said.
‘Too honest?’ Zoe asked blankly.
Over her head, Nicole and Allie exchanged bemused looks.
‘Never mind,’ Allie said. ‘Does anybody know what we’re supposed to do now?’
Nicole pointed to the side of the room, where Eloise stood waving them over.
Crossing the room with Zoe on her left and Nicole on her right, Allie was conscious of other Night School students watching them and she raised her chin and lengthened her stride – hoping she looked confident. Fearless.
‘Just ignore everyone else,’ Eloise said when they arrived. ‘We’re having our own exercise party.’
So, as the other students practised dangerous-looking martial arts moves, throwing each other to the floor in complex ways and fighting over fake weapons, the three girls were an oasis of calm, warming up with a series of yoga stretches. Gentle as they were, every single one hurt Allie in some way – as if they sought out each injury and poked it hard. But she kept that to herself, biting her lip when she wanted to cry out.
At some point, though, Eloise must have seen the pain in her face, because she whispered, too quietly for the other girls to hear: ‘This will get better. One day you’ll notice it hurts less. And then it will hardly hurt at all. I promise.’
Relieved somebody ha
d seen through her, Allie nodded fiercely. She needed to believe those words. She had to get strong again.
Strong enough to fight.
When training ended, Allie was exhausted. She’d sweated more than she ever thought possible and her muscles felt so worn she wobbled when she walked.
She took a long shower to give herself time to recover. By the time she’d dressed, the other girls had gone and she was alone in the changing room.