When Victor parked, Gabriel jumped out and opened my door for me. I thanked him and he seemed pleased. As we approached the mall together, Victor strolled ahead and held the door open for me. I thanked him, too, wondering how much longer they would continue to open doors for me. Was I still the new friend they were being nice to?
“Where are we going?” Victor asked me as we collected inside.
I blinked at him, pushing a finger to my lip and feeling nervous now. I knew he intended to buy a couple pieces of clothes for me. I thought about what Mr. Blackbourne had told me about how the boys handled any situation, helping each other. I tried to swallow down my pride. “I don’t know where to start. Any department store ought to have...”
“We’re starting with underwear,” Gabriel said. He grabbed my hand and tugged me down the walkway of the mall.
“Gabe!” Nathan called after us. He jogged until he was on the other side of me, taking hold of my arm. “We can’t take her for that.”
Gabriel rubbed at his temple, looking confused. “Of course we can,” he said. He pointed to a Victoria’s Secret store a couple of shops down the line. “It’s right there and it’s open.”
“I mean,” Nathan said in a lower tone, “We can’t buy her underwear. Come on.”
“What the fuck?” Gabriel blinked at him. “She’s a fucking girl. She needs underwear. And bras that are the right size. Have you seen her bras?”
Nathan narrowed his eyes at him. “I don’t expect you to have...”
Gabriel twisted his lips. He hooked a couple of fingers in the neck of Kota’s shirt and tugged it down over my shoulder to reveal my bra strap. He dug a finger under it, pulled and let it snap back against my skin. I winced, reaching up to rub the spot.
“They don’t fit her right,” Gabriel said.
“How would you know?” Victor asked, standing by with his hands in his pockets. His tone was more curious than trying to challenge him.
“It’s my job,” he said. “What do I do? What the hell am I here for?”
“Okay, shit,” Nathan said. “We’ll get her some underwear.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“Guys,” I said. “I don’t think...”
Gabriel hung his arm over my neck and led me toward the store. “If you say something stupid like you don’t deserve new things or try to tell me to shut up, I’m going to spank you in front of everyone here. Now let’s get busy.” He seemed much happier now that he was directing the way this shopping trip was going.
My face was radiating heat as Gabriel hung on to me. We walked through the open doors of the shop. Tables of underwear were out on display and mannequins modeled in suggestive poses wearing sheer lingerie.
“Go ahead,” Gabriel said. “Pick out what you like.”
I pushed my finger to my lower lip as my head tilted from side to side. Where did I start? My fingers traced over the lace of a pink bikini. My eyes flitted from the different pairs. I’d never been shopping before. What did I do?
Nathan stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. His cheeks were red enough to match his hair as he stared at the displays on the walls. To me it seemed like he was trying to avoid eye contact with everyone in the store. Victor merely looked curiously at some of the racks, fingering the material of a couple of the shirts.
Gabriel snapped his fingers close to my face. “Come on, Trouble. Pay attention.”
I flinched at him, blowing out a puff of air. “I’m nervous.”
“Stop being nervous,” he said. He pointed to a pair of pink boy-cut panties. “There. You love pink and that style is in fashion.”
Victor materialized next to me. “She doesn’t need her underwear to be in fashion.” He nodded to some of the more frilly pairs of panties. “Get what you think you’d like.”
“Do y'all need any help?” An attendant in a black dress suit and a heavy gold necklace came up beside us. She was in her late forties, with red hair piled high on her hair. Her skin was heavily tanned and her lips were buried under a thick layer of deep red lipstick. She studied my face and the guys standing next to me.
“Our friend,” Gabriel said, elbowing me, “needs a bra fitting and new underwear. Can you take her measurements and help her pick out some stuff?”
The woman smiled. She reached out her hands to me, wrapping one around my arm. “Come with me, honey. I know exactly what you need,” she said. “You boys want to wait by the registers? How many does she need?”
“Ten of each, at least,” Victor said, the fire in his eyes subdued. “And whatever else she wants. Don’t let her come back until she has enough.”
The attendant smiled a toothy grin and took up my hand to stick it through her arm. “I’ll take care of her.”
I swallowed, allowing the attendant to guide me to the back of the store and out of sight from the boys. I kind of felt relieved to be out from under their curious faces. Why did he say so many? Was Victor serious?
“Don’t worry,” the attendant said. “I know it’s tough shopping with boys when you need stuff. They all have their own opinions.”
I wondered why she didn’t consider it strange for someone like me to be buying underwear with a few boys. Was this normal?
Within a few minutes, she had me measured out and helped me to select a variety of bras to try on. She showed me into the fitting rooms and instructed me on how to ensure the bras were fitting correctly. When she was sure we had the right size, she started a circle around the back of the store. She piled bras and underwear into my arms for me. She would hold up something and I simply nodded at her suggestion. I was too timid to interject an opinion.
She asked my preference on color, and I told her I liked pink. She made sure that every piece of underwear had some bit of pink attached. She had me get a couple of different styles; sporty, vivid, elegant and cute.
I finally had to tell her to stop. I had lost count of how many items she had given me. “I think this is enough,” I said.
“Make sure you get what you like,” she said. “Your friend said whatever you wanted.”
I nodded. “It’s nice of him, but I’d like to keep it simple.”
Her smile took on a knowing glint. “Honey, you’ve got to take advantage of it while you can.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what she meant but she laughed softly at me, removing the collection from my arms and walked ahead of me to the registers.
Victor was standing by the counter. He caught my eye as we approached. The attendant held up the pile. “Is this enough?”
Victor nodded quietly in approval.
I slipped next to him, my cheek hovered close to his shoulder to hide my blushing.
“Where are the others?” I asked him quietly.
“I made them wait outside,” he said. “They wanted to buy half the store for you.”
I turned my face away, rolling my eyes and pushing a palm to my cheek. He found my hand and held it, his thumb smoothed over the skin between my thumb and forefinger and it calmed me a little.
“Add that pile, too,” Victor said to the attendant. He pointed to a small collection of shorts and shirts that were folded nearby on the counter. Most of it looked like clothes one would sleep in or made for exercising.
The attendant beamed. “Would you like to open a line of credit?”
“No,” Victor said. He let go of my hand to take out his wallet. He slapped a black credit card on the countertop.
“You have some very nice friends,” the attendant said as she finished up the order.
Victor sighed, removing his cell phone from his back pocket. As he punched at the screen, the attendant finished ringing up the order and the final price glowed green on the display.
Over eight hundred dollars.
“Victor...” I said nervously, touching his elbow. I hadn’t looked at the tags and I was floored. Was this how much clothes cost? He had to be out of his mind. I felt sure the moment he saw it, he’d refuse and want to send back most of i
t
He glanced at what I was looking at. His eyebrow lifted but he seemed unaffected and went back to typing in his phone as the attendant swiped his card.
“Vic...”
“Just say thank you,” he said calmly.
I sighed. “Thank you, Victor,” I said in a small voice.
He did a half smile, tucked his phone into his pocket, signed the slip and put his card back into his wallet. “You’re getting the hang of it.”
I had two pink bags dangling off my arm when we left the store. Gabriel and Nathan were waiting just outside the doors. They had their heads tucked close to each other as they talked. When they spotted Victor and me, the conversation ceased suspiciously. I half worried for a moment if there was some Academy business that was about to call them off.
“Okay,” Gabriel said, slapping his hands together and rubbing them. “Go put on a new bra and pair of panties and we’ll get started.”
“Right now?” I asked. I was already feeling overwhelmed.
“Yes,” he said. “If we’re going to get clothes that fit you right, you need to be in a bra that fits you. Just slip into the girls’ restroom and go put something on.”
We found the restrooms and I went in to change in the stall. I put on a pair of pink and black striped underwear. Confidence started to thread its way through my skin. I felt daring. I found a white bra and put that on, too. It did feel much more comfortable than my old one. I wondered how Gabriel knew mine didn’t fit. I didn’t even notice.
I stuffed my old things into the bottom of the bag and tossed the tags in the garbage. I met with the others out in the hallway. They all turned to me. Gabriel nodded his head in approval.
“Yes,” he said. “Much better. Shit, you do have boobs.”
Nathan smacked him in the arm.
“Ow, hey.” Gabriel rubbed at the new red mark on his skin. “I was complimenting her. Jeez, I can’t tease her. I can’t compliment her.”
Nathan narrowed his eyes at him but said nothing.
I followed the guys into a Macy’s. Gabriel floated to the racks with the newest clothes on display. “Stand still over here,” he said. He directed me with a finger until I was beside him.
One by one, he held up blouses, skirts, shorts, pants and everything else hanging on display. He would tuck the hanger into my neck or to my waist and flatten the material over my stomach or thighs to get an idea of how it would look. I think he pulled down nearly one of everything. When he didn’t like something, he’d hang it backward on the rack. When he did like something, he passed it off to Nathan to hold on to.
Victor had mysteriously disappeared.
“Nathan?” I asked while Gabriel had drifted away to pull jeans out of shelves to check the sizes. “Where did Victor get that black credit card?”
Nathan juggled the collection of clothes in his arms. “Don’t you know? Victor’s parents are loaded. They gave him that thing when he was still in diapers.”
“Won’t they notice all this?” I held up my arms where the pink underwear bags were still hanging.
“Probably not,” he said. His lips curved in the corners. “If they did, they wouldn’t care. They only get interested in what he does when he’s about to play the piano at one of his fancy concerts.”
My eyes widened. I knew he played piano but I hadn’t heard about this. “He plays for other people?”
“Well, yeah. He’s really good. He hates the concerts though. His parents are usually the ones that sign him up for that. They like showing him off.”
I sighed, thinking about what it must be like to have parents that were rich. It was very sweet of Victor to volunteer to buy clothes for me. I didn’t know how to share my appreciation. A warm spot fluttered in my heart for Victor. I reminded myself to try to thank him again for everything later. It was important to me to let him know.
My insides rattled thinking of the eight hundred dollars he’d already spent so far.
Gabriel snapped his fingers in the air at the two of us. “Are we ready for fitting?”
I slid my eyes over to look at Nathan, pleading silently with him to help me.
He shook his head, grinning. “Nu uh,” he said. “We’ve all gone through this. It’s your turn to get poked and prodded by him.”
Gabriel led the way to where the fitting rooms were. They were unattended and the fitting area was empty.
The boys joined me inside. Nathan dropped the clothes onto a bench and collapsed into the seat next to the pile. Gabriel picked out a couple of shirts and shorts and handed them to me. “Get in there and do it.”
I locked the latch on the door to the fitting room and froze nervously in front of the mirror. My fingers traced over the buttons at the neck of Kota’s shirt. Cotton fibers kissed my fingertips in return. His shirt didn’t look terrible on me, even if it wasn’t the best fitting thing. It felt far different than when I was wearing Derrick’s shirt. Just like when I was wearing Victor’s shirt at school, I felt comfortable. It was like wearing a piece of the boys with me, and I felt protected. My heart warmed at the thought of all of them and I wondered what they thought when they saw me wearing something that belonged to them. Did they feel this same connection with me that I felt?
I undressed and slipped on the new clothes. I sucked down some courage and opened the door again. My chin dipped to my neck and I shuffled forward in my bare feet.
Gabriel and Nathan had been talking and they turned their eyes toward me. Nathan’s eyes lit up. Gabriel, however, lifted his fist, thumb down.
“No,” he said. “It’s awful.”
I checked the pink cotton t-shirt and the jean shorts he had given me. “What’s wrong with them?”
“They don’t fit.” He picked up another set of clothes from the pile. “Try these.”
I slid my eyes to Nathan.
“Your turn,” he mouthed to me from behind Gabriel’s back.
I sighed, locking myself back into the room. According to the mirror, the shirt appeared to fit just fine. The shorts looked a little weird on me but they sat on my hips. What did he mean?
I tried on the next pair of black cotton shorts. They sat low on my hips and were too short. They almost felt like underwear. I pulled on a green t-shirt with quarter sleeves.
This time I just stood inside the doorway. I didn’t want to step forward and let other people who might be around see these shorts on me.
When the boys turned to me, both of their mouths dropped.
My cheeks flashed with heat. “Too short,” I said.
Gabriel nodded. “I like that shirt, though. Keep that.” He picked out a skirt from the pile and tossed it to me. “Keep the shirt on but put this on with it.”
I spent an hour in Macy’s trying on several dozen items of clothes and in different combinations. Gabriel nit picked his way through the collection, discarding the unwanted clothes into a bin and created a separate pile for anything that met his approval.
I hovered just inside the door of the dressing room. I got tired of stepping out every time. Gabriel was relentless with his opinion. “Too tight. Too short. Doesn’t fit.”
“What do you mean when you say it doesn’t fit?” I asked when he rejected what seemed like a perfectly good shirt. “It’s the right size.”
“No,” he said. “It doesn’t fit you. Your personality. Your style. It’s not what we want.”
“What do we want?”
“Clothes are telling everyone who you are in one glance. What do you want to say?”
“What am I supposed to be saying?” It was confusing. How can people know what you are like in your clothes?
He laughed, his bright blue eyes lighting up. “You know it when you feel it. Don’t worry. I’ve got this. Just trust me.”
When I was back in Kota’s shirt and done, I slumped onto the bench next to Nathan while Gabriel went out to find a smaller size in a pair of shorts he liked. “I’m exhausted,” I said.
Nathan laughed. He dropped his palm o
nto my back. “Sweetie, you just started.”
“Tell me that after we’re done here, they’ll be happy,” I said.
The corner of his mouth lifted and he shook his head at me. “They’re busting their asses to make you happy.”
“I’m fine!” My voice strained as my tone rose. It probably sounded like I was complaining but I was tired and stressed. “I keep telling them that. I’m happy.”
“Your sister just gave all your clothes to the bratty girl next door and your parents never let you out of the house and you’ve had all kinds of crazy things going on.”
“But I’m not that bad,” I said. “I’m here with you.” I meant to say you guys, but for some reason my voice stopped in my throat and by the time I swallowed and could say it, it was just too late to say anything more.
He nodded slowly. His blue eyes appeared to glow. “What do you want to do?”
“I... I want them to know they don’t have to do this for me. It’s just a little overwhelming.”
“You’re not used to the attention,” he confirmed.
“Maybe.”
He chuckled again. “You’ve landed yourself in the wrong group of friends. We’re always up in each other’s business.”
“Is this what it’s always like?” I asked. I turned my head to face him. “Is this normal?”
His jaw set and that serious look returned. “It’s been different with you here.”
I raised my eyebrow at him, confused by his comment. “In a bad way?”
He flinched and it was like he was bringing himself out of his deep thoughts. “No. I mean with us,” he said. “We’ve been together for so long. I guess we just worked out this system. We do our part.”
“What’s your part?”
He half smiled again. “Right now I’m holding clothes while Vic’s run off to play and Gabriel’s probably getting a one-over by the attendants as he’s picking out girl clothes.”
I laughed at how silly and overly simple he put it. He seemed pleased with this. “So what’s my part?” I asked. “I mean am I just throwing everything out of whack or what?”
He shrugged, nudging me with his arm. “We’re figuring it out. Don’t worry about it.”