“Sang,” my father called to me. “Don’t leave Marie.”
The words stung me. I pulled back from Kota, meeting his concerned face. The green of his eyes lost in the lack of true light.
“Put me down,” I asked him.
“No,” he said.
“Please.”
He grunted but lowered me until I was standing. The others parted, giving me an unadulterated view of my father.
My father appeared defeated now. His shoulders slouched, like all the times my mother yelled at him and he slinked off to do some laundry or go to work to avoid it. “Sang,” he said. “I’m sorry. I know it was hard for you. Will you please stay with Marie? I’m going to the hospital with your... with her.” He swallowed. “Don’t leave your sister.”
“We’re not leaving Sang,” Kota said flatly to him, the command overwhelming in his voice.
My father blinked, questioning with his eyes at the group around me.
Determined faces stared back at him. Strangers to him. I felt as if I knew them better than I’d known him. I’d lived with him all my life and he was the stranger among us.
“I’ll stay,” I said. Kota and the others started to stir to life but I spoke over them before they could tell me not to. “I’ll stay, but they have to stay with me.”
“You can’t have boys in the house,” my father said.
“They stay or I go,” I said, my strength returning. “They stay or I’ll tell the police what happened.” I had no idea what to tell the police and knew I wouldn’t do it, but I wasn’t about to be told what was best for me now. He was too late to rattle off parental rules to me.
His eyes narrowed on me. “Fine,” he said. “Just stay here until I can get back.”
My lips glued back together, but I nodded.
He flicked his eyes once more to the others, eyeballing the seven surrounding me. He jogged over to the car parked in the middle of the drive. He got in, started it and drove away.
“Not a goodbye to either of them,” Nathan’s voice drifted to me.
A New Family
Kota slept in my bed with me. The others were sprawled out on the floor, with blankets and pillows strewn all over. I’d opened my eyes several times during the night, warmed by the sight of them all.
Marie was in her room alone. She’d protested that we didn’t need to stay, but I’d made a promise and I kept mine the best I could. I wouldn’t let Marie sleep alone in the house, despite how she had participated. No one deserved to be alone. Not tonight.
Sometime near dawn, the sound of metal striking metal stirred me from sleep. Kota mumbled something next to me but sat up, rubbing at his eyes. “What’s that?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’ll go check it out.” I tilted to the edge of the bed, getting to my feet. When I stood, I swayed, shaking.
Kota stood, finding his glasses. “I’ll go.”
The others snuggled into the floor. North grunted, rolling onto his back, yawning. “I’ll go.”
“It’s not the boogie man,” I said. I stepped over someone’s head, tiptoeing over to the door.
The hallway was empty, as I expected, but oddly surreal to me. I stumbled down the front stairs, with Kota behind me and North behind him. Shadows. A wash of shivers swept through me. This would have never happened if my mother was still in the house.
I checked my parents’ bedroom. It was in the same state it had been the night before. No mother. No father.
I was still thinking of her as my mother. Habits were hard to break, but every time I did it, the memory that she wasn’t renewed itself. I didn’t have another name to call her, and I had no one to identify to replace the name with. I hadn’t had time to process it all yet.
The banging noise continued. North pointed toward the back of the house. We collected in the kitchen, moving together to the windows that overlooked the back yard.
My father sat out in the yard, a large trampoline in front of him in pieces. He was hammering the edges together.
“What the hell is he doing?” North said in mid-yawn, and scratched at his chest.
“I’ll go talk to him,” I said. “Stay here.”
“Listen to her giving orders. Isn’t it cute?” North said.
Kota found my hand, squeezing it. “We’ll stay,” he said. “We’ll be watching.”
“Like always,” I said.
I left them in the kitchen, padding over to the back door in the back of the family room. I’d hardly used that door, but it led out to the screened-in back porch. I don’t think I’d been inside the back porch since we’d moved in. It was too easy to be spotted from the kitchen.
I gazed out into the yard, watching my father piece together the trampoline. What was he thinking? What was he doing here? Shouldn’t he be at the hospital? Or at work? He worked all the time. What was wrong?
I opened the screen door to let myself out into the yard. My bare feet slicked over the dew covered grass. The air was thick with dawn scents, of mowed grass and mugginess. The neighborhood was still. A weekday. People were getting ready for work or school.
I trailed out to the center of the back yard, standing behind my father as he worked. I watched, stepping into view so he knew I was there.
“I was at the super store last night getting groceries for the house when I found this on sale. I always wanted one of these things,” my father said, not looking back at me. “When I was your age… I shouldn’t say that. You’re not that young any more. When I was a kid, I used to beg my parents for one. They said it was dangerous. I’d crack my head on the metal.” He was wearing the same dark slacks and the same polo he’d worn the night before. His eyelids sagged. Was he up all night? “I meant to get one for you two before now but never found the time.”
“How is she?” I asked. I felt annoyed. He made me stay the night. He lied to me for years. Now he was deflecting. I was tired of being treated like that.
He sighed, resting the hammer against his leg. “She’s still sick.”
“Cancer,” I said.
He gazed up at my face. “You knew?”
“I learned,” I said. “A couple days ago.”
His lips pursed. “Did she say so?”
“Nope.”
He turned back to the metal bars in his hand, started hammering. “I was going to tell you, you know. I was going to explain it to you one day. I thought when you were older...”
“I turn sixteen in a couple of weeks,” I told him. I folded my arms over my chest. I felt horrible, like I was being rude. This wasn’t me. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t know how to share any sympathy or how else to address him. “How much older were you waiting for?”
He frowned. He started piecing together the frame for the trampoline again.
He wouldn’t even look at me.
“Where do you go?” I asked. “You weren’t in Mexico.” I knew this. I knew it was impossible he’d gone off that far and made it back in time last night.
He picked up another piece and started putting it into place. “If you must know, and you’d probably find out, but I’ve met someone else. Someone who already has two kids and she wouldn’t understand… this.” He waved his hand in the air toward the house.
My mouth hung open. “Are you kidding me?”
“Why do you think I’ve been working so much?” He dropped the hammer on the mess of metal bars and stood up. He looked down at me. “And don’t give me any grief. There’s seven boys upstairs in your room right now.”
How dare he? How could he look at me with those accusing eyes, as if I was just like him? He had no idea. He’d never understand. I wasn’t going to waste a moment explaining it to him. His opinion didn’t matter. “What do you want from me?”
“I can’t stay,” he said. “Your mother hates me. She doesn’t want me here. Her illness is bad. She’s getting not just treatment for the cancer but they say she’s being seen by a psychologist today. It might be months before she gets out.”
That thought lingered on me. She’d been in and out of the hospital so much that it didn’t faze me at all to think of her in one. Now here it was. She wouldn’t be back for a while. Was it because of Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green taking her? I blinked at him, my mouth clamped shut, waiting for him to get to the point.
“If you run off with that boyfriend, or those boys or whatever, Marie’s going to be on her own. If your mother gets out, it’ll be tough on her. I can’t be in twenty places at once.”
“You want me to stay here with Marie? You want me to stay in this house?”
“I need you to look out for it. Take care of things while your mother is gone. Make sure she has a place to get back to.” His eyes darkened. “Please. I’m not asking for me. I’m asking for them.”
Somehow I doubted that. It felt like he wanted to be assured that he could leave. Isn’t that what he did? He waited until he worked hard enough to collect enough savings so he could run off without telling anyone. He didn’t care. He just didn’t want to feel guilty. I sighed. “Is it true?”
His head tilted at me, an eyebrow lifted.
“Did you rape my real mother? Did she kill herself?”
He reeled back as if I’d struck him. “I didn’t rape her.”
“Who is she?”
His mouth tightened. “I loved her,” he said. “Please. Don’t.”
“You loved her? Did you love Marie’s mother? Is the woman in the hospital her real mother?”
“Yes,” he said, his palm brushing against his face. “I mean yes, she’s Marie’s real mother.”
I sucked in a breath. My hands closed into fists. I wanted to pummel him. I knew how. I’d done it before. One chop to the neck and I’d send him to the hospital like I’d did to one kid at school. “And you’re leaving her for someone else? You’re leaving Marie behind? You’re leaving me behind? Just so you can go off and pretend to be normal with another family?”
“Do you want me to stay?” he asked.
The question struck me. Did I? What kind of family did I end up with? Was barraging him with questions going to bring me any closer to the answers that I wanted, or give me what I needed? I didn’t know what I wanted at all.
Or maybe I did. What I wanted were the seven people who had said they wanted me. Seven boys. Plus Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green. Nine. I had nine people in my family. Not him. Not my father.
“No, you don’t have to stay,” I said. “Marie might feel differently though. Why don’t you go ask her?”
He frowned at me. “I have to go back to the hospital. I have to sign papers. After that, I have to get to work.” He turned from me, starting back toward the house.
“What do I do?” I asked, turning to him and following behind. “How do I take care of this?”
“I’ll be back,” he said. “I’ll come back with groceries when you need them and I’ll make sure the bills are paid. My phone number is in your mother’s side table drawer. If you need anything, call me. I’ll bring it over.” He stopped, turning to me. “Can you drive?”
“Not yet.”
“Find someone to teach you. Those boys drive, don’t they? If you want lessons, I’ll pay for them. I’ll buy you a car. Teach your sister. When you can do that, I’ll give you access to the accounts. You’ll need it.”
“You want us to fend for ourselves?”
“Get through this school year. Just for now. Stay out of trouble and do well in school. You usually get straight As. If you can keep it up, it’ll be fine.”
“Why?” I asked. “Why this school year? What happens when it’s over?”
“I promised I’d take care of you,” he said solemnly. “I promised your mother. I promised your real mother I’d look out for you. Let me do that. When you’re eighteen, I’ll pay for college. I’ll do it if you let me. I can’t ask you for anything else, I know. I don’t deserve it. Let me do this. I can’t bring you two with me, but I can provide for you until you’re old enough. I think you’re mature enough to handle this. I’m not far. I understand you don’t want me here. I won’t be in your way. I promised, okay? I promised her.”
The blood drained from my face. “Who was she?”
He clamped his lips together again, turning away. He marched over to the car parked in the drive. He was leaving us, with a half-finished trampoline in the yard and questions left unanswered. Was it supposed to be a peace offering? Was he trying to make some small connection, leaving a memory that he wasn’t such a bad person? He got into the car, leaving the trampoline behind, unfinished. Just like us. He was running away from a life he didn’t want, toward a new family he had to lie to in order to keep.
I turned, spotting Kota and North inside the screened in porch. They’d been watching over me. I didn’t want to think the next thought, but I did, and it stuck to my mind like a spider web.
How long did I have before they left me, too?
The unwanted.
~A~
On Friday, Kota parked his sedan at a bar in downtown Charleston. He didn’t like that there was an assignment tonight. If he didn’t have a family emergency though, the Academy wasn’t to be ignored. They’d promised, after all. They’d already been out all week to stay with Sang.
Kota stepped out of his car, tucking a couple of drumsticks into his back pocket to free up his hands. Playing the drums for a faux band at a club was only one of a number of unusual assignments the Academy asked of them. It wasn’t his favorite because it meant staying out later than he wanted, especially right now when he preferred to be with Sang.
He flicked his phone on, punching the pink heart. A few more buttons were pushed as he searched through each camera until he found her. His heart lifted at seeing her face again.
She was curled up on the beanbag chair in the attic. She didn’t need to be in there but he knew she liked it. Kota smiled down at the phone, staring at her tiny, perfect features and the way she traced her fingertips over the photographs around her. For good measure, he counted her fingers and her toes, a perfect set of ten for each. It was how he reassured himself that she was really okay, with all digits accounted for.
He closed the app, stuffing the phone back into his pocket before he changed his mind about tonight and left to be with her. He shouldn’t be looking in on her like this but he couldn’t stop himself.
Just like he couldn’t stop thinking of that green heart in the tub, and how he knew she was downstairs in the house. He admired her cleverness.
He also couldn’t stop thinking of how she’d looked when she appeared in that same bathroom. He’d watched her through the camera before sending Gabriel out to get her. She’d been naked and as much as he wanted to divert his eyes, he couldn’t. Her tender, young breasts and the curve of her bare hips aroused him, and had him thinking of things he’d swore he’d never think of with her. Not right now. Not when things were such a mess. She didn’t need that now.
Kota tried to refocus. He had other things to worry about. He had Academy business to take care of.
The bar in downtown Charleston wasn’t overly crowded for a Friday evening, but they were several hours early. The inside smelled of mildew and alcohol mixes. Rock music played in overhead speakers. Six customers clustered together comfortably at the carved wood bar. Two bartenders leaned on their elbow over the bar top to talk with the people at the bar. Kota guessed the customers at the bar were regulars. They seemed more at ease than the sixteen other people gathered at seven other tables by the empty stage.
Kota absently touched the bridge of his glasses at his nose. He located the door beyond the far side of the bar marked with a sign: Green Room.
He opened the door, counting off heads as he entered the room. Seven, including Mr. Blackbourne and Dr. Green. They were missing Gabriel and Victor.
He nodded to the others, tugging the drumsticks out of his back pocket and placing them quietly on the table. He sat on one of the available stools surrounding the table in the middle. A family meeting was long overdue.
As soon as he sat down at one end of the table, the door opened behind him and Gabe and Vic walked in. Gabe’s hair was spikey in the back today, ready for a night of guitar playing and singing for a crowd. His bright orange shirt had zigzags of contrasting green. They were there to draw attention tonight, and Gabriel was making sure that happened.
Victor was in jeans and a plain black t-shirt he’d borrowed from North. It was one of the few times Victor ever wore something so plain. Victor hooked his finger at the end of the sleeve, tugging as if uncomfortable. Kota knew Victor didn’t like playing piano in front of other people in general, although their faux rock band was less of a stressor for Victor than the elaborate concerts his parents demanded he participated in.
Luke’s blond hair was swept back into the clip he’d taken from Sang. He and Nathan would trade off bass and seconding guitar for the night. North would take over drums if Kota wasn’t there, but North and Silas needed to set up equipment and work the floor tonight. They were the distraction as the bar owner, an Academy member, had his own important task.
What that was, they didn’t know, and they didn’t need to. When it came to favors, they did as they were told. They had to trust in the Academy.
Mr. Blackbourne quietly tugged a little black box out of his pocket. Kota recognized the device. With the right frequency, out of human hearing, it could disable recording devices that might have been missed in a security sweep. Whatever they wanted to talk about tonight, they didn’t want anyone outside the group knowing about, including the Academy.
They eyed one another. No one wanted to begin.
Her situation was not as straightforward as their family problems had been.
Mr. Blackbourne cleared his throat. “Mrs. Sorenson will be taken to the Mayo Clinic in Florida. She’s in route now.”
Kota nodded in approval. “For how long?”
“We don’t know,” Dr. Green said. He propped his elbows on the table, leaning forward. His eyes drooped and his usual warm smile was a little faint. Kota had the feeling he was working overtime at the hospital again, mostly due to Sang’s mother. “At least two months, maybe three. We’ve ensured that she’ll be staying at least that long to give her time away from the girls as well as time to hopefully be ready for surgery and to recover. Apparently when the medicine was corrected, it cleared her mind up. It forced this secret out in the open and she’s not in the right place to deal with it.”