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  Aristophanes’ presentation of female characters in Women shows similarities with his two other surviving plays centred around women, Lysistrata and Assemblywomen. All three are full of jokes at women’s expense, mainly concerning their alleged weakness for drink and extramarital escapades. Such are jokes written from a male perspective for a predominantly, if not entirely, male audience. (It is worth noting that the purportedly misogynistic Euripides presents his tragic women far more favourably than Aristophanes does his comic women.) Much of the play’s humour also derives from cross-dressing. Most male characters in the play – not only Mnesilochus (whose dressing up by Euripides and dressing down by the women comprise two of the play’s funniest scenes) but also Agathon, Cleisthenes and Euripides – either dress or disguise themselves as women. An additional layer of playful humour arises from the fact that the female characters were played by male actors.

  While the play begins with the implausible premise that the women control Euripides’ fate, its subsequent action is not as strongly fantastic as other plays (e.g., Birds, where an ordinary Athenian travels to Cloudcuckooland, gulls the birds, and then, with Prometheus’ help, seizes supreme power from Zeus). Euripides’ attempts to resolve his predicament, and his various ploys to rescue Mnesilochus, involve a development of action that is unusually consistent for Aristophanic comedy; moreover, the outcome of events hangs in the balance until the very end. In these respects Women seems to emulate Euripidean tragedy. The action of the first half of the play also imitates an early Euripidean play, Telephus (produced in 438), with Mnesilochus adopting the title role, seemingly inadvertently. The second half of the play involves elaborate set-piece parodies of two Euripidean tragedies produced in 412, Helen and Andromeda. Both plays involve tragic heroines whose plights mirror Mnesilochus’ situation in the comedy. They may also have been chosen because their title heroines are actually presented as models of virtue – in Euripides’ play Helen is removed by the gods to Egypt while a phantom Helen is sent to Troy – further undermining the women’s main charge against Euripides.

  The Thesmophoria was a festival for women in honour of the goddesses Demeter (entitled Thesmophoros, ‘Bringer of Law’) and her daughter Persephone (or Kore). It was held at sowing time, its primary purpose being to ensure the fertility of the earth and the city’s women. Men were strictly excluded and details of the rites were guarded carefully. Consequently, little is known about them.

  In Athens the festival took place over three days around October-November. While the characters in the play speak of a precinct called the Thesmophorion, no such site has been identified. Most likely there was a shrine within the Eleusinion, a large sanctuary on the north slope of the Acropolis. This location would tally with a reference in the play to ‘going up’ to the Thesmophoria (585). It would also explain the name of the first day of the festival, the ‘Ascent’. In Aristophanes’ day there was probably already a priestess of the Thesmophoroi who presided over proceedings. There were, in addition, two women chosen from each deme (probably by lot) to take a leading role in the celebrations. The Chorus in the play refer to themselves as ‘freeborn women of Athens’ (329), implying that the festival was restricted to citizens’ wives. There is also evidence to suggest that only married women were permitted; all the female characters in the play either have or claim to have children, including the disguised Mnesilochus.

  The second day (called the ‘Middle’ Day), on which the play is set, was a day of fasting, probably commemorating Demeter’s refusal to eat or drink after the abduction of Persephone by Hades. Other related rites included the sacrifice of piglets and the utterance of ritual obscenities. There would also have been singing of various hymns and dancing. What makes the festival a suitable setting for the play is that the rites were kept secret from men. The women may have discussed certain issues which were of concern to them, but their imitation of the formal procedure used in the assembly is an Aristophanic invention which, besides being humorous in itself, accords with the play’s premise that the women can decide on Euripides’ fate.

  In Women we find a fuller and more sympathetic portrayal of Euripides than elsewhere in Aristophanes. He is also presented more positively than Socrates in Clouds (the other main avant-garde intellectual to appear as a major character in Aristophanes’ surviving plays). Euripides begins the play as the comic hero in a predicament and ends it saving his relative, who takes over the role of comic hero by proxy, and coming to an amicable resolution with the women. His erudite air at the start of the play and his ingenious attempts to rescue Mnesilochus are not so much caustically mocked as endearingly sent up, in marked contrast with his depiction as a shifty, sophistic pedant in Frogs. The willing Mnesilochus, who selflessly puts himself in mortal danger for Euripides’ sake, is also one of Aristophanes’ most likeable and mischievous creations.

  Women abounds both in verbal and visual humour. It seamlessly blends highbrow parody of tragedy and reflexive theatrical games with decidedly lowbrow slapstick and transvestitism. While it may lack the political bite and urgency of many of his other comedies, it is nonetheless – without doubt – one of his most entertaining plays.

  CHARACTERS

  EURIPIDES, the tragedian

  MNESILOCHUS, an old man, related by marriage to Euripides

  AGATHON, the tragedian, a younger contemporary of Euripides

  CLEISTHENES, a notorious effeminate

  SERVANT to Agathon, a slave

  A MAGISTRATE

  A SCYTHIAN CONSTABLE

  MICA, an Athenian woman

  SECOND WOMAN, a seller of garlands

  CRITYLLA, a friend of Mica

  ECHO, a character from a play of Euripides

  CHORUS OF ATHENIAN WOMEN

  Silent Characters

  MANIA, nursemaid of Mica

  slaves

  PHILISTA, another maid of Mica’s

  ARTEMISIA, a dancing-girl

  ACT ONE

  Scene 1: A street in Athens.

  [Enter EURIPIDES. He has been walking for some time and is looking for a house. He stops to wait for his companion MNESILOCHUS.1 The latter is an elderly relative of EURIPIDES, who is accompanying him but lagging behind, clearly resentful of the length of their journey.]

  MNESILOCHUS They say the swallow brings fresh hope: I wish I could see one. This man’ll be the death of me, lugging me around since dawn. Listen, Euripides, before I’m out of breath entirely, I’d like to hear where you’re taking me.

  EURIPIDES You need not hear the things that you will soon be seeing.

  MNESILOCHUS What’s that? I needn’t hear…?

  EURIPIDES What you’re about to see.

  MNESILOCHUS And what mustn’t I see?

  EURIPIDES What you’re about to hear.

  MNESILOCHUS I don’t follow. It’s too clever for me. You mean

  10 I mustn’t hear or see?

  EURIPIDES The two concepts are, in their respective natures, sharply differentiated.

  MNESILOCHUS You mean not hearing and not seeing?

  EURIPIDES Precisely.

  MNESILOCHUS How do you mean ‘differentiated’?

  EURIPIDES Let me explain how all these things are arranged.2 When Ether was first separated, and creatures capable of movement came into being under her, for the purpose of vision she devised the eye – modelled on the orb of the sun. For hearing, however, she provided a funnel, known as the ear.

  MNESILOCHUS And I mustn’t hear or see, because of this

  20 funnel? I’m so glad to have learnt that. What joy it is to talk with men of wisdom!3

  EURIPIDES Oh, I can teach you many things of this sort.

  MNESILOCHUS Perhaps you could teach me how to avoid becoming lame after all this exertion.4

  EURIPIDES Come over here and pay attention.

  MNESILOCHUS Well?

  EURIPIDES Do you see that door?

  MNESILOCHUS I think so.

  EURIPIDES Keep quiet.

  MNESILOCHUS Keep quiet a
bout the door?

  EURIPIDES Sh! Listen.

  MNESILOCHUS I’m listening – and keeping quiet about the door.

  EURIPIDES This is where the famous tragedian Agathon5 lives.

  30MNESILOCHUS Which Agathon is that, now?

  EURIPIDES The Agathon who…

  MNESILOCHUS Not that big, strong, dark fellow?

  EURIPIDES No, a different one. You must have seen him.

  MNESILOCHUS Not that chap with a bushy beard?

  EURIPIDES No! You must have seen him.

  MNESILOCHUS I’m sure I haven’t. Not that I can remember, anyway.

  EURIPIDES And yet you’ve buggered him – though perhaps without knowing it!6 [The door opens.] Quick, get down, out of sight! There’s a servant coming out with a brazier and myrtle twigs. He must be about to offer up a prayer for inspiration.

  [The SERVANT comes out of AGATHON’s house and sets up his paraphernalia. He begins to speak in pompous, elevated tones.7]

  SERVANT

  Let all men keep silence, and be you closed,

  40 O mouths! Inasmuch as the Muses in

  Mellifluous concourse do grace these lordly

  Halls with their presence! Let the windless air

  Be free from breezes; and the sea’s blue wave,

  Let it not roar.

  MNESILOCHUS Drivel!

  EURIPIDES Sh! What’s he saying?

  SERVANT

  Be still, ye tribes of birds, and do not stir;

  Neither let any foot of beast be heard

  Within the forest.

  MNESILOCHUS Complete drivel!

  SERVANT

  For Agathon our champion, Agathon

  The fair of speech is about to…

  50MNESILOCHUS Not be buggered, surely?

  SERVANT Who said that?

  MNESILOCHUS The ‘windless air’.

  SERVANT

  … is about to set down

  The frame of a new drama, yes, with mighty

  Crossbeams shall it be built, and with new arches

  Of words shall it be erected. For look,

  He rotates his verses upon the lathe

  And fastens them together. For both maxim

  And metaphor does he hammer out, yes,

  In molten wax does he mould his creation.

  He rolls it till it be round; he whittles it…

  MNESILOCHUS And fellates it!

  SERVANT What lout is lurking near our corniced walls?

  60MNESILOCHUS One who’ll take you and your precious poet and probe your cornices with his protuberance.

  [The SERVANT now stops his chanting tone and speaks in his normal voice.]

  SERVANT You must have been a wayward youth, old man.

  EURIPIDES [to the SERVANT] Listen, my friend, never mind about him. Could you call Agathon for me? You must get him out here at all costs.

  SERVANT No need to ask. He’s coming out any minute now, to do some composing. It’s this wintry weather. Not easy to bend the stanzas into shape. He has to bring them out into the sun. [He goes into the house.]

  MNESILOCHUS What about me, what am I supposed to do?

  EURIPIDES Stay where you are, he’s coming out. O Zeus, what

  70 will you do to me this day?8

  MNESILOCHUS [to himself] I must say, I’d like to know what this is all about. [To EURIPIDES] Why do you weep? What disconcerts you so? You must not hide the truth from me; I am your kin.9

  EURIPIDES There’s serious trouble brewing for me today.

  MNESILOCHUS What kind of trouble?

  EURIPIDES This day decides if Euripides lives or dies.

  MNESILOCHUS How can it? The juries aren’t sitting today.

  80 Nor is the council – it’s the middle day of the Thesmophoria.10

  EURIPIDES That’s just it. And I fear it’ll be my last. The women have been plotting against me. And today, at the Thesmophoria, they’re going to debate my downfall.

  MNESILOCHUS But why?

  EURIPIDES They say I denigrate them in my tragedies.

  MNESILOCHUS And so you do. It would serve you right if they did get you. But what’s your plan of escape?

  EURIPIDES I thought of persuading Agathon to go to the Thesmophoria.

  MNESILOCHUS To do what? Tell me.

  90EURIPIDES He could sit in the assembly with all the women and, if necessary, speak in my defence.

  MNESILOCHUS What, openly? Or in disguise?

  EURIPIDES Disguised, assuming feminine attire.11

  MNESILOCHUS A brilliant idea! And very much your style. I must say, for sheer cunning we really take the biscuit.

  EURIPIDES Sh!

  MNESILOCHUS What is it?

  EURIPIDES Agathon’s coming out.

  [The front of the house swings open, revealing AGATHON, clean shaven and in a wig, wearing female clothing and a white (‘female’) mask, seated at a dressing-table.]

  MNESILOCHUS Where? I can’t see him.

  EURIPIDES There, coming round on the revolving platform.12

  MNESILOCHUS I must be going blind. I can’t see a man there at all – only Cyrene.13

  EURIPIDES Be quiet, he’s getting ready to sing.

  [AGATHON rises and utters a few practice trills in falsetto.]

  100 MNESILOCHUS He’s got ants in his larynx.

  [AGATHON sings,14 taking the parts of CHORUS-LEADER and CHORUS OF MAIDENS alternately.]

  AGATHON

  [As Leader] Come, you maids, receive the torches

  Sacred to the infernal twain!15

  Dance, your voices freely raising

  In the fashion of your homeland.

  [As Chorus] Which god shall we celebrate, then?

  We are only too delighted

  Any of the gods to worship

  At the slightest provocation.

  [As Leader] Sing, for lo, the archer Phoebus

  With his bow of gold appears,

  By his presence sanctifying

  110 All the glades of fair Simoïs.16

  [As Chorus] With our fairest songs we greet you,

  Phoebus, on your throne of glory

  O’er all graceful arts presiding

  And the sacred prize bestowing.

  [As Leader] Praise you now the virgin huntress,

  Ranger of the tree-clad mountains.

  [As Chorus] Child of Leto,17 maid untainted,

  Artemis, we glorify you.

  [As Leader] Now let us give praise to Leto

  And the lyre that sets us dancing

  To the spry Phrygian rhythm18

  When the strings go twingle twangle.

  [As Chorus] We have not forgotten Leto

  120 Or the twanging harp of Asia,

  Mother of our songs and dances:

  Loudly let us sing their praises!

  [As Leader] Now with eyes divinely flashing,

  Voices raised in sudden outcry,

  Sing the praise of lordly Phoebus.

  [As Chorus] Hail to you, O son of Leto!

  130MNESILOCHUS Ah, what soft seductive strains! How feminine, how deliciously arousing! Like French-kissing, all tongues! Oh, how it makes me tingle. And as for you, my young friend, I can only ask, in the words of Aeschylus: ‘Whence art thou, girlish man? What’s thine attire, And what thy country?’19 Why this disruption of nature? Why a lute with a saffron

  140 gown? A lyre with a hairnet? A woman’s girdle and a wrestler’s oil flask? Why this union of sword and hand-mirror? It makes no sense. What are you – a man? Then where’s your cloak? And your shoes? And where’s your prick? If you’re a woman, where are your breasts? Well, what do you say? Why are you silent? If you won’t tell me, I’ll have to judge by your singing.

  AGATHON Old man, old man, I sense a note of envy in your reproach, yet I will not be riled. I wear my clothes to suit my

  150 inspiration. A poet has to merge his personality with what he is portraying. If he shows a woman’s actions, he must participate in her experience – mind, body and soul.20


  MNESILOCHUS So if you wrote about Phaedra would you assume the straddling position?21

  AGATHON If one writes about a man, one already has all the bits and pieces, as it were. But what nature does not provide, art must imitate.

  MNESILOCHUS Let me know if you’re writing a satyr-play, and I’ll come and help by ramming you from behind.

  160AGATHON Anyway, it’s unseemly for a poet to go round looking all wild and hairy. Look at Ibycus, and Anacreon of Teos, and Alcaeus,22 with those exquisitely tempered harmonies of theirs. They all wore the proper minstrel’s sash, and their movements were graceful, like mine. And Phrynichus23 – you went to his recitals perhaps – what a handsome man and how beautifully turned out. That’s why his dramas turned out so beautifully too: what you write depends so much on what you are.

  MNESILOCHUS That would explain why that graceless man Philocles24 writes such graceless verse. And why dreadful

  170 Xenocles25 writes so dreadfully, and lifeless Theognis26 so lifelessly.

  AGATHON It follows necessarily. And knowing this, I gave myself this treatment.

  MNESILOCHUS How on earth did you manage it?

  EURIPIDES Stop yapping! I was just the same myself at his age, when I first started writing.

  MNESILOCHUS I don’t envy you your schooling.

  EURIPIDES Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to get down to business.

  AGATHON What do you have in mind?

  EURIPIDES A wise man, Agathon, can curb his speech, and utter many thoughts in but few words.27 I have been struck by misfortune once more, and come to you as a suppliant.

  180 AGATHON What can I do for you?

  EURIPIDES The women are meeting at the Thesmophoria today, and… they’re going to condemn me to death for slandering them.

  AGATHON But how is it you think that I can help?

  EURIPIDES In every way. If you would only go up there secretly and take your seat with the women, as if you were one of them, you could speak up for me and save my life. No one but you can make a speech worthy of me.