Page 5
Author: Molly McAdams
“Cassi, those things should have never happened to you. He should have told someone. ”
I turned to find him right in front of me again. “I made him promise he wouldn’t. ”
“Well he shouldn’t have listened to you. ”
“You don’t get it, Gage. You weren’t there. I couldn’t let him. ”
His eyes narrowed. “No, I wasn’t there. But if I had been, something would have been done the first time it ever happened. Why didn’t you say anything the night the cops showed?”
I shook my head; there was no point in trying to make him understand.
Gage put a hand on each side of my face and leaned closer. I swear I thought he was about to kiss me, like last night, and it didn’t matter that I hardly knew him; I wanted him to. “You didn’t deserve that, Cassi, you know that, right?”
“I do. ”
Before I could realize what he was doing, he brushed my swoop bangs back and traced his thumb over a scar from Jeff’s glass. My body instantly stiffened and Gage’s eyes turned dark as he looked at it. He slowly tore his gaze from the scar to my eyes and spoke softly. “Didn’t deserve any of that. ”
I took a step back and turned to look at the almost-full pot of coffee.
He reached around me and brought down two mugs before pouring coffee in each one. “I’m sorry if you like cream,” he drawled, “I don’t have any here. ”
“That’s fine. ” I breathed a quiet sigh of relief as I walked over to the fridge and grabbed the milk. “I’ll go to the store later and get some. ”
When I was done pouring it in, he put the cap on for me and put it back in the fridge. Walking back over to me, he put a finger under my chin and tilted my head up so I was looking at him. “How often did it happen, Cassi?”
My breaths started coming quicker. What was it about him that made me want to fall into his arms and not ever leave? It took his repeating his question for me to come out of my daydream. I was up against the counter, so I couldn’t step back, but I moved my head away from his hand and stared past his shoulder into the living room.
He guessed when he saw I wasn’t going to answer. “Every day?”
I still didn’t respond; if it was a weekend, it happened at least twice a day. But that was something even Tyler didn’t know. My body started involuntarily shaking and I hated that I was showing any sign of weakness in front of him.
“Never again, Cassi,” he whispered while he studied my face.
My eyes flew back to meet his and my throat tightened. He sounded like he was in pain just talking about it and I had no idea why. But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me want his arms wrapped around me. I cleared my throat and forced myself to continue to meet his gaze. “Cassidy. ”
“What?”
“My name is Cassidy. ”
“Oh. ” He looked a little sheepish. “My apologies, I didn’t realize. ”
“No. Um, Tyler doesn’t like it. He calls me Cassi. I just wanted to tell you my real name. ” Really I just wanted to hear it in his gravelly voice.
He smiled softly as he studied me for a minute and took a sip of his black coffee. “I like Cassidy, it fits. ”
Oh damn . . . yep. I was right in wanting to hear him say that. My arms were covered in goose bumps and I even shivered. Yeah—his voice was that sexy.
When I didn’t say anything he walked around to the table and held out a chair, waiting for me to sit in it. We sat in silence for a while before I finally looked up at him again.
“This might be rude, but can I ask you something?”
One side of his mouth lifted up in a smile. “I think I already cornered the market on rude questions this morning, so go ahead. ”
And cue the freaking dimples! I got so lost staring at them I forgot to ask my question and his smirk went to a full-blown Gage smile. At this rate I’d need to start wearing a sleeping mask and earplugs around him in order to not make myself look like an idiot. Though I’d look ridiculous either way. “Well, um, Tyler said you live on a ranch?”
“I do. ”
“I was kind of thinking you’d look more like a cowboy . . . ”
Gage’s laugh bounced back off the walls, and I felt my body relax just listening to it. “And how exactly were you expecting me to look?”
“You know, boots, hat, big belt buckle, super-tight bright blue jeans,” I replied, a little embarrassed.
“Well I definitely have the boots, and the hats, but I don’t think my sisters or Mama would ever let me dress like Dad. ”
“Oh. ”
“My dad even has the big mustache, looks like Sam Elliott. ”
It took me a second to figure out who that was, and then I laughed. “Seriously?”
“Swear, they could be twins. ”
“I’d love to see that. So where was your hat last night?”
He shrugged. “I leave all that at the ranch. ”
“What? Why?”
“I don’t wear them as a fashion statement, and I definitely don’t have any kind of work that would require them here in hippie town. ”
“Hippie town?” I deadpanned.
“Just wait until we go out anywhere. You’ll see. ”
I nodded. “What kind of work? What kind of ranch do you have?”
“Cattle ranch, and whatever needs to be done that day. Taking care of the animals, moving the cattle to different parts of the ranch, fixing fences, branding . . . ” He drifted off. “Just depends. ”
“How many cows do you have?”
“About sixteen. ”
Okay, I understand I don’t know a thing about ranches, but I figured you’d need more than sixteen cows to make it a cattle ranch. “You have sixteen cows?”
He huffed a laugh and smiled wide at me. “Hundred. Sixteen hundred. ”
“Dear Lord, that’s a lot of cows. ”
He shrugged. “We’ll be getting more soon, we have the land. ”
“How many acres is the ranch?”
“Twenty. ”
“Hundred?”
“Thousand. ”
“Twenty thousand acres?!” My jaw dropped. Why on earth would anyone need or want that much land?
“Yes, ma’am. ” He spun his mug around on the table.
“ ‘Ma’am’? Really?”
One of his eyebrows raised. “What?”
“I’m not some grandma—I’m younger than you. ”
Gage rolled his eyes. “I didn’t mean you’re old, it’s respectful. ” When he looked at my expression he shook his head and chuckled. “Yankees. ”
“Uh, get a clue, cowboy . . . I’m not from the North. ”
“You’re not from the South either. Yankee. ” He smirked, and if I thought that was going to melt me, when he added a wink I knew I was done for.
“Are you going on about Yankees again, bro?” Tyler asked, walking into the kitchen.
Gage just shrugged and his green eyes met mine from under those dark brows again. “She didn’t like that I called her ‘ma’am. ’ ”
“Get used to it, Cassi, we may be in the city, but it’s different here. ”
I grumbled to myself and Gage laughed.
“So what are you guys talking about?” Tyler sat in the seat on my other side.
“Their huge ranch with too many cows,” I answered.
“She’s right about that, there are way too many cows there,” Tyler said between sips of his coffee.
“You’d like it. ” Gage looked at me with an odd expression.
“Hell no, she wouldn’t! Cassi doesn’t like getting dirty, and she hates bugs. Your ranch would be the worst place for her. ”
Gage flicked a quick glare at his cousin, then looked back to me. “We have horses. ”
I gasped. “You do? I’ve never been on a horse!”
“Eight Arabians. I’ll teach you to ride w
hen you come to visit. ” He sat back in his chair and folded his arms, smirking at Tyler like he’d just won something.
Tyler and I both got quiet. My dad told me he was going to let me start taking riding lessons for my sixth birthday and buy me a horse for my seventh. Obviously those things never happened. Not that we didn’t have the money, but my mom wouldn’t even cook for me; no way she would let me do those things. It didn’t help that even though I still loved horses, whenever I saw them I couldn’t stop thinking about my dad.
“Did I say something wrong?” Gage looked confused but kept his eyes on Tyler.
“No,” I said with a soft smile. “I’d like that. ”
After a few awkward minutes, Gage stood up and put his mug in the dishwasher before walking toward his room, “Well, I’m gonna take a shower. If there’s anything y’all wanna do today, let me know. ”
Tyler scooted my chair closer to him. “You okay, Cassi? Is it because of your dad?”
“No, it’s fine. I mean, I was thinking about him. But I just can’t believe he’s been gone for almost twelve years. I feel like I should be over it, I was so young when it happened, but I don’t think I was ever allowed to grieve, and that’s why it’s still hard. I’m not looking forward to this birthday. I always thought when I got away from Mom and Jeff, I would finally enjoy my birthdays again, but I’m looking forward to it less than ever. I think we need to give me a new birthday, Ty. ” I huffed a light laugh. “No one wants a birthday on the anniversary of their father’s death. ”
He pulled me onto his lap and held me loosely so he wouldn’t hurt my back. “He was a great dad; you aren’t supposed to get over him, Cassi, you’ll always miss him. And no new birthdays, you’re keeping the one you have and I’ll make sure they get better and better every year. ”
I let him hold me for a few minutes before speaking again. “Thanks, Ty, I love you. ”