“And now,” the announcer boomed, “please give a warm welcome to our newly elected student body president, Carter Blume!”
School politics didn’t merit quite the same level of cheering as football, but Carter got a decent amount of applause. He took his place on a little makeshift stage, his golden hair glinting under the stadium lights. In his slim gray pants and white button-down shirt, he looked tall, powerful, and charismatic, like some 1940s movie heartthrob.
There was something different about him, though.
I raised my camera and took a few shots.
Just before he started speaking, he caught sight of me and gave me a quick smile.
That’s when I realized what was different.
In the stands, he’d been wearing a long-sleeved black sweater over his shirt. Now he’d taken it off.
And rolled his sleeves up, almost to his elbows.
Since the day we’d met, he’d never let anyone but his parents and me see the scars on his bare wrists. Now they were exposed for the whole school to see.
My eyes wandered up to meet his, to see his face, his confident master-of-the-universe grin.
For a split second, I was paralyzed.
I couldn’t see any trace of Carter behind that smile.
Just emptiness. A reaction where there had once been action.
Oh my God.
This can’t be happening.
I totally stole my boyfriend’s soul.
“People say,” he began, his voice strong, “that high school is the best four years of your life. And tonight is”—his voice was all clanging metallic sounds; did anyone else hear it?—“the culmination of that for me.”
I looked around for an escape, but I was basically on the field. Standing still, I didn’t attract attention, but to move would have been like shining a spotlight on myself. Carter went on, talking about how great his years at Surrey had been and how excited he was to have a chance to give back to the school that had given him so much.
“Not only steadfast friends,” he said, “and top-notch academic opportunities. But a well-developed extracurricular program, the best technological resources in the county, and a caring staff and faculty.”
A polite smattering of applause.
“So I’d like to dedicate this year to all of you, and to all of the students who came before me and will come after me,” he said. “But most of all—”
He was staring right at me.
I raised my camera, not wanting to look him in the eye, not knowing what else to do.
“I want to dedicate this win to the most incredible girl I’ve ever met and probably will ever meet in my life—”
My finger kept hitting the shutter button, like I could pretend I was just an observer, not even there.
“My girlfriend, Alexis Warren.”
The crowd said, “Awww.”
“Lex,” Carter said, laughing. “Put the camera down.”
I had no choice.
He looked straight at me. And then he said:
“Alexis …I love you.”
The words rushed at me over the painted stripes of the field. They hit the school building in the distance and echoed back.
I was surrounded. Helpless.
It was the kind of public horror show that you’d see in some awful romantic comedy, not on the football field of Surrey High. The crowd went crazy, whooping and whistling and catcalling. I stood there, staring at his big, bright, oblivious grin.
And then I ran.
The throngs of people around me blurred together as I fought my way through, pushing to the sidelines, trying to escape into the night. People talked to me, laughed at me, exclaimed in surprise as I shoved them out of my way, past the front of the bleachers, toward the exit.
“Alexis? Are you okay?” Miss Nagesh called out as I ran by, but I didn’t stop.
“Lexi!” Ahead of me, my sister clambered down the stairs, carrying my bag. “Lexi!”
Our paths intersected. Kasey grabbed my hand and ran, pulling me around the back of the bleachers, where the speakers could only throw muffled sound instead of bladelike words.
In the sudden darkness, I ran smack into someone.
Mrs. Wiley. “Alexis,” she said, her voice sharp. “Have you seen Megan?”
I think I would rather have run into an angry grizzly bear.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t have time to talk!”
Mrs. Wiley watched in shock as we took off.
I held my camera with one hand and held on to Kase with the other. All I knew was that we had to get out of there. We had to go.
We were almost to the exit. Almost free.
“Alexis?”
Tashi sidestepped into my path. I stopped inches short of colliding with her.
“What are you doing?” she asked. “Where are you going?”
“Home,” I gasped. “I’m not feeling well.”
I was so used to Tashi’s serene smile—I’d never seen her look harsh before. Her eyes flashed, and her lips came together in a pout.
“You need to collect yourself,” she said, “and get back in there. You’re going to embarrass Carter and the whole Sunshine Club.”
“Carter embarrassed himself !” I said. “I didn’t ask him to get up in front of the whole school and say…say he…” I couldn’t even say the words. It was too terrible. I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach.
Tashi stepped closer. Involuntarily, Kasey stepped back. “You mean to tell me,” Tashi said, “that nothing you said or did inspired his little confession?”
My head ached. I mean—yes. Of course things I said and did inspired it. But that didn’t make it my fault! Carter and I had gone five months without saying “I love you.” It was supposed to be precious, private. Now it was ruined.
“How much worse will it be for Carter if you don’t go back?” Tashi asked.
I pictured him—standing out there on the stage, mic in hand. Having to walk down the steps. Face everybody. Alone.
A scream of feedback came through the sound system.
My heart cringed for him.
“You have no right to do this, Alexis,” Tashi said quietly. “You can’t run away. This isn’t all about you. You need to get in there and be the girl Aralt wants you to be.”
Kasey, still panting, gave me a look that begged me to leave.
Be the girl Aralt wants you to be.
I literally didn’t have a choice.
“I have to go back,” I said to my sister. For Aralt. “For Carter.”
Kasey stared down at the ground.
Tashi focused on my sister for the first time. “You should be there too,” she said. “Your sister needs you. We all need you.”
But Tashi’s serious face didn’t scare Kasey. She just cocked her head to the side and said, “Alexis can stay if she wants. But I’m going home.”
I expected some offended reply from Tashi—something about our duty to the sisterhood, or the bond we shared, or whatever. But Tashi just stared at Kasey like she was trying to memorize her face.
Then she turned and started walking back toward the football field.
“I’m leaving, Lexi,” Kasey said. “I feel sick.”
“Come on, Kasey,” I said. “Please. Stay. You can handle it. You’re strong. You can—”
“You’re wrong, I’m not,” she said. “Not strong enough to stand here and watch you do this.”
“But you have a duty to Aralt,” I said. “At least think about that.”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t,” she said, breathless. “I don’t have a duty to anyone.”
Then she started to cry—big fat tears of crystal-clear salt water.
And before she said another word, I knew.
“I never took the oath,” she said.
I felt myself rock backward, away from her.
“There. Now you know. I’m a terrible sister.” She looked toward the field, her eyes almost wild. “I got you into this, and
I can’t get you out.”
She reached up and pulled the ponytail holder out of her hair.
“The worst part is,” she said, “you don’t even want out anymore.”
There were no words. Literally not a single word I could think of to say in reply. So I took a step backward, toward Carter and Tashi and the Sunshine Club.
“I have to go,” I said, walking away.
My escape had felt like fast-motion, but now everything slowed to half-speed. Carter was just coming off the field as I emerged from behind the bleachers, and a lane cleared between us. He held out his arms to me, and I went straight into them. The sounds blended together into one loud hum, and my eyes swam with spots from the stadium lights. Carter smushed his lips against my forehead.
“Hey,” he said. “Where’d you run off to?”
I swallowed hard and stared into his eyes.
Show me Carter, I thought. Show me one glimpse of my Carter. Then I can do this. Then I can get through it.
His eyes were blue and wide, and they sparkled in the night, reflecting back everything around us. But there was no Carter.
I started to take a step back.
“Alexis?” he asked, a hint of hurt in his voice. He was still waiting for my explanation.
I had a wardrobe malfunction.
Behind Carter, Tashi stood with her arms folded in front of her, waiting.
I put my hand behind his head and pulled his ear down to my mouth.
And I whispered that I’d had a wardrobe malfunction.
But I was sorry I’d run away.
I wouldn’t be running anymore.
I closed my eyes against his chest, inhaling his smell—laundry detergent and sweat. I loved his smell. He didn’t act like Carter. He didn’t talk like Carter, and his eyes weren’t Carter’s eyes. But he still smelled like himself. Somewhere under it all, he still was Carter…right?
I could be happy. I really could.
If I was just willing to lie to myself about everything that mattered…
I could be happy.
Carter dropped me off at home after we made appearances at three postgame parties in three hours. When I got inside, I was so tired that I practically swayed on my feet.
But halfway down the hall to my room, I was stopped by my mother’s silhouette in the near blackness.
“Alexis?” she asked. Her voice was strained. “Do you have a second?”
“Sure,” I said, turning on my bedroom light and sitting on my bed. For a second I was afraid that she’d noticed something was up with Carter. Had somebody called her? A nosy teacher? A meddlesome parent?
“It’s about Kasey,” Mom said, sitting in my desk chair. She took a deep breath. “She was using my computer earlier, and she left, and I—I guess I’ll admit it, I was snooping. I checked the Internet history.”
The breath went out of my lungs. “What did you find?”
“Oh, Alexis.” Mom closed her eyes and shook her head. “Weird stuff. Spells, charms, books about dead people…Something called a creature? A creatura? I don’t know. Everything she was supposed to be staying away from.”
“Wow,” I said.
Deep inside me, something perked up.
Something dark.
“I don’t know what to do. I have that phone number, but I’m afraid to get her in trouble without at least talking it over. But then I think about last year—talking wouldn’t have helped then.”
This was it. The perfect chance to get Kasey—and her traitorous hidden agenda—out of the way.
“You spend time with her. Did you know about any of this?”
No, Mom. Wow, it sounds dangerous. I hope she’s not planning anything violent.
I stared at my mother. The voice in my head tried again, louder this time.
No, Mom. Wow, it sounds dangerous—
I closed my eyes, inwardly focusing every bit of strength I had left inside me.
“Um…you know what?” I said. “She mentioned it to me, actually—it’s a project she’s doing for school. She’s taking European history, and I think they’re on the medieval unit. You know, Merlin, Camelot…”
Mom sat back while a fresh pulse of pain worked its way up my arms.
“She hasn’t been acting weird at all,” I said, and the words physically hurt to say, like I had a mouthful of tiny shards of glass. “Trust me. I’m on the lookout.”
It was like Mom had been holding a breath inside herself for three hours. She sighed—a big, quivering openmouthed sigh that could just as easily have ended in a sob. “Oh, thank God.”
“I’ll let you know if anything changes, though,” I said.
“Thank you so much, Alexis,” Mom whispered. She got up, took my face in her hands, and kissed me on the cheek.
As soon as she was gone, the headache began, way back at the base of my skull. It grew stronger and stronger until I couldn’t think about anything but the throbbing pain in my head, like a baby dragon trying to break out of its egg.
I didn’t brush my teeth or wash my face or change out of my dress. I just pulled the pillow over my eyes and braced myself for a very long night.
But a minute later, my door opened.
“Lexi?”
I wasn’t asleep. I didn’t even pretend to be. I flipped over and looked at Kasey. Being distracted soothed the aching in my head, so I sat up and turned on my light.
She didn’t come into my room. She leaned against the doorjamb, examining me from a distance, like I was an animal in a zoo.
“What do you want?” I asked.
“You lied to Mom,” she said.
“So?”
“Why? You could have turned me in. Then I’d be out of your way.”
But part of me didn’t want to turn Kasey in. She was still my sister.
Because everyone deserves a second chance, said the voice. And it’s not too late for you. If you just take the oath, you won’t be a liar anymore. And I’d be so proud of you.
If I said all the right things, there was a really good chance I could use a combination of guilt, threats, and charm to coax her into taking the oath, joining us for real.
But for some reason, I didn’t want to do that, either.
I just wanted to go to sleep.
Not that I was any less furious with Kasey.
“I felt like it, okay?” I said. “Now leave me alone before I change my mind.”
FARRIN AGREED TO MEET me at eleven. When I pulled into the parking lot, she was waiting for me outside the main door, reading a magazine in a very Sunshine Club– like manner. The difference was that this magazine cover was a picture she’d taken.
She stopped in front of suite six and unlocked it. “What did you bring to work on today?”
“Actually,” I said, “I was hoping we could talk.”
“Is everything all right?”
I followed her to her office but didn’t answer.
She sat down and gave me a concerned smile.
“How much do you know about Aralt?” I asked.
“Ah,” she said. She was silent for such a long time that I was afraid I’d offended her. Then she turned to me. “How much do you know?”
I shook my head. “Not enough.”
She pursed her lips and stared at me. “Things are happening that you don’t understand.”
“To put it mildly.”
“Have you ever heard the term ‘a charmed life’?”
“Of course.”
“And you know what it means.”
“That things go well for you,” I said. “It’s like being lucky.”
“The phrase is tossed around these days, but once upon a time, it actually meant something. To lead a charmed life was to lead a life that was…touched. By a supernatural force. A spell, or an incantation—”
“Or an oath.”
“Precisely. Now, when you have this force acting inside you, it’s a form of energy. And the laws of the universe state that energy is neither created nor destroye
d. It’s only transferred.”
“And how does that happen?”
“All of the wonderful changes in your life,” she said. “How you look and feel. How your mind works. The energy is burned off through all of those things. You sublimate it into your regular life—it becomes your edge.”
“But not every change is wonderful,” I said, thinking of the odd, blank look in Carter’s eyes, my moment of feeling like I could kill my sister.
“Aralt cares for us, Alexis. He wants the best for us. It’s all he wants. So if you are experiencing problems, you have to question your own precepts.”
I wasn’t quite sure what a precept was, but I got the distinct feeling I was being told it was all in my head. “But what does he get out of it?”
“When you’re at your best, he’s at his best,” Farrin said. “It’s as simple as that.”
She considered it simple? That a supernatural being was feeding off of us?
“Have you cried lately?” I asked.
“I have nothing to cry about.” She folded her hands and looked directly into my eyes. “And neither do you.”
I slumped lower in my chair.
“I care about you, too, Alexis,” she said. “I don’t like to see you struggling needlessly. You could make this very easy for yourself.”
Just swallow the blue pill, right?
Farrin was staring right at me. “This could be the best thing that ever happened to you,” she said softly.
“But I—” I stopped mid-sentence.
Suddenly I couldn’t remember what I was going to say.
All I could think was, This could be the best thing that ever happened to me.
“This is a lot to process, Alexis. Why don’t we look at your photos? I don’t believe that you didn’t bring anything,” she said.
“Well, I did, but…”
“Let’s get some work done,” she said gently. “You shot color, didn’t you? I’m excited to see the pictures. You can think about the rest of it later.”
I can think about the rest of it later. She had a point. I could think at home. I couldn’t process color negatives at home.
The office phone rang. “Excuse me, please,” she said, grabbing the portable handset from her desk. “Hello?…Oh, yes, I’ll be home by five…No, don’t. I’ll order in.”
Her tone was silky, hypnotic. I drifted to the bookshelves and looked at the picture of Aralt’s girls again. This time, my eyes had leisure to wander across each of the faces, ending up on the angelic face of a pretty, tanned girl. Behind her headband, her hair was a thick mane of curls.