Chapter Fourteen
Bane and Shaylon awoke to a light tapping on their bedroom door and as their eyes adjusted they saw Mason standing in their doorway looking so small and sad yet still resolved to do what he had come there to do.
“I need help.”
Immediately the two were out of bed and on their feet rushing to embrace their son. Bane looked right at him gazing into his eyes. “We will get you whatever you need, whatever you’re comfortable with and no matter what we love you. We’ll get through this as a family, all of us and if you can’t talk to us we’ll make sure you have someone okay.”
Mason only nodded.
The Bronson’s were ready to ask for help this time and sat down with their pastor. They’d already been doing research on therapy, camps, and other treatment programs, but they found it a bit overwhelming and a third party they trusted could very possibly help them unwind the golf ball of options. They still held some concerns that they may be turned away or even shunned, but they were willing to face it if it meant helping their son and if they were treated like that then they would find a church that showed the kind of compassion and understanding that they preached. They were met with that love, much to their relief and between them and their pastor they came up with some options for Mason.
It was a big decision, but in the end they left it up to him who chose therapy with a Christian based center. He wanted to stay at home with his family, especially with Parker. It seemed that they were sort of going through the same thing in a way and were still each other’s support system. If it turned out not to be working for him then he would submit to go to the camp up state that handled teen issues even if it meant being separated from his brother. It turned out to be a two for one deal, everything that Mason was learning about himself, about faith, and true freedom he was able to pass on to Parker who needed it more than he let on even to his brother. Before long both boys were growing and laughing like they hadn’t done in a long, long time and turning into amazing young men. His parents had almost forgotten what it was to see Mason actually smile.
Bane tried to give both his sons some distance, some space to allow them to deal with everything in their own way. It was a lot to process for each of them, Mason and his therapy and Parker with his new knowledge and even Bane found it weighing on his own mind at times. He wanted to be supportive, giving his sons nods and smiles, patting them on the shoulder and giving each of them an occasional, “How you doing? Doing okay? I’m here if you need me.”
Mason would say he was doing good; but Parker would simply smile back and say, “I’m fine.” then drift away again. He knew that Parker needed to work things through on his own and that trying to push his way in, to make him talk about it would just push him further away, but he yearned to make things better for him. It actually hurt to see him now at seventeen, looking like the weight of the world was on his shoulders and many times he trekked up the stairs to Parkers door stopping just shy of knocking then walked on by or simply giving a quick announcement of dinner. It took every bit of strength he had not to step in and ease his son’s mind, but no; Parker needed to come to him when he was ready. Bane prayed every day that this would be the day he could help ease his boy’s burden. That he could finally reach Parker in the way God had reached him, but he couldn’t, he wouldn’t attempt to supersede the Almighty. He wouldn’t risk his son’s salvation, it didn’t matter if Parker went to God instead of him, in fact it would draw him closer to his savior and that was the most important thing. If God wanted him to sit on the sidelines and let Him deal with Parker he’d just have to trust God to work His will and Bane would have to practice some of what he was preaching. It was put up or shut up time and there was too much at risk to let ego get in the way. He would be where God wanted him to be when He wanted him to be there, knowing that no matter how much suffering he saw in his son’s eyes he was in the best hands possible, yet ready to jump in the moment the Holy Spirit moved him to.
And his son was suffering. That first afternoon Parker had woken determined to make a clean break of everything. He couldn’t look at one more picture, one more video, not knowing what he knew now. It had finally sunk in what his father had been saying about those women being somebody’s sister, somebody’s daughter. Before his response, though not voiced out load was, “as long as it’s not my sister”, but not anymore. His heart had been broken for those poor people, women, children and even some men, that were treated so horribly just for the pleasure of others and there was no going back. Just like his father had done he purged his room and his life of every instance of pornography, re-established the parental blocks he had bypassed and even added blocks to the devices his parents were unaware that he could and had been accessing adult material with. By the time he was done he felt lighter than air. He knew what he was doing was the right thing and he felt clean again and just a bit proud of himself as well, but it’s always easy to diet Sunday night after dinner; by Monday afternoon you’re stomach’s growling and within a few days Parker was starving.
He tried not to think about it, to be strong and he used every trick he could think of to resist the temptation that was swelling within him. He spent more time with his family; a lot more, especially with his sister and his mother, that helped him immensely. Just being in the same room with one of them was like a cold reality shower and it reminded him why he was walking away from porn in the first place. He also began looking into more hobbies, playing video games with Mitchell helped. Getting into a good game provided him with plenty of hours of complete mind absorption, but it was the time he was alone that was the hardest to get through, especially the nights. Knowing it was all so close ate at him. All he had to do was click a few buttons and there it would be. It got to the point where even the knowledge of the world of the sex slave wasn’t enough to turn his mind, his desires away from it all, culminating to one night with the remote control flipping through the cable channels searching for the closest thing to skin he could find before being slapped in the face with the reality of how far he had truly gone.
He saw for the first time that his parents had been right, porn was like a drug and he was a full blown addict. Even knowing what happened to some of those tortured women wasn’t enough to deter him and that turned his stomach so hard he thought he might vomit. After all he’d seen, all he’d heard he wanted it so bad he was nearly shaking with anticipation. It was true, all those articles about addictive chemicals being released in the brain when a person looks at pornography, the escalation needed to get the same feeling of excitement, the desire that grows no matter how much you wanted it not to, he had it all. He had wanted to be free, be free to do what he wanted, look at what he wanted, but he suddenly realized he wasn’t free at all. Pornography had him in a tight grip and it wasn’t about to let him go easily. He had handed his freedom over willingly, even paying for it to be slowly taken away from him and now he was scared. He thought he could do this by himself; that he could simply walk away from it knowing he was doing the right thing, but it wasn’t that easy. It had a hold on his mind, body and soul and no matter how much he found he now despised it he wanted it that much more.
How? How could he escape? What was left to do, therapy, addiction programs? Who could help him? He couldn’t do it by himself, he was at the end of himself and he was beyond desperate. How had his father done it? He had left it all behind in one afternoon and as far as Parker knew was still free. He could always talk to his father and ask him what to do, but no; he knew what his father would say. The same thing his father had been saying ever since the day he got saved. He’d tell him the only way to get through it is to give it to God, well if this was what it was to be addicted then God could have it, he sure didn’t want it. If something had to have control over his life he’d rather it be God at least God wanted to keep him from jumping off the cliff and not shove him over the edge. “Okay, okay God you win. I don’t want this and I can’t do it by myself. So take it, take me, take it, take everyth
ing; just get me free. I’m yours and yes I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I started any of this and for anything else that I shouldn’t have done. Please just take this from me I don’t want to want it.”
Parker sat on his bed, his head buried in his knees that were pulled to his chest as he breathed deep and smiled. He hadn’t realized it and he wasn’t sure how it started, but after his prayer he begun to talk to God; just talk. He talked about his problem, why it had such a hold on him, the people that were caught in the trade, why he had started looking in the first place, his friends, the family, school, church, and before he knew it he had talked the day away and he couldn’t have been happier. Now he had an idea, one he had no doubt came from God, all he needed was a little help in the right places and he knew just who to ask and where he’d be at this time of day.
He was right where he’d expected him to be and when Bane looked up from his sound board seeing the smile that reached from ear to ear on his boy’s face he wanted to shout hallelujah and give him the biggest bear hug either had ever had, but he settled for a strong embrace and a whispered, “I’m so happy for you and very, very proud.” Though he couldn’t stop a tear or two of joy from making an appearance.
“Is it that obvious?”
“Do you want it to be?”
Parker cocked his head. He hadn’t really thought about it, but he didn’t really mind that his dad knew. He was excited about all that had happened and especially his idea.
“It’s only obvious to those of us that love and have been worried about you. I understand if this is all new to you and you’re not too sure where you stand or what you should do. We’re here for you, to help and support you, but know this. If you can’t stand up for God with us, with those that love Him and follow Him too, if you’re not sure of who you are in Him or how much He loves you than you’ll have a hard time, a very hard time standing up for what’s right in this world; especially against those who are strongly grounded in their ways and in their sins.” He hadn’t meant to preach to the boy, but once he started all he’d been thinking about poured out. “Do you understand, because it’s okay if you don’t? It can be overwhelming this new life, because that’s what it is Parker a whole new life for you.”
He paused, did he really know what his dad was talking about? He’d heard it over and over in church, but understanding it was something different. He might as well start this ‘new life’ thing off right and be honest. “I don’t know? I mean I kind of get the new thing, I feel… different, like this heaviness is gone and it’s Christmas morning and the tree is full of presents for me you know. Like for right now, right this minute even with everything that’s going on in the world everything is okay, no better than okay everything is right in the world; everything is amazing. Does that make any sense?”
“More than you, Parker; more than you know.”
“Good then you’ll understand this. I want to help them.”
“Help who?” Bane looked at him, his brows furrowed in confusion.
“The women, the slaves. You know all those people still trapped in the porn and prostitution rings. Like those church groups do, I want to donate some money to help them. Maybe do some fund raisers or something and maybe start a foundation at some point that buys out the girls or rescues them or however they do it. What do you think?”
A smile larger than the one the day Parker was born spread across his face, “Why wait for someday, why not now?”
“Really, you like the idea? I really think God gave it to me. I mean I think it’s what He wants me to do.”
“Well, there’s only one way to find out. We’ll take a step out in faith and see if He’s with us, then we’ll go from there, and we’ll start right here. How about if we start by giving a percentage of the proceeds of the new album sales to one of those programs. Meanwhile we can do some research into what it takes to start or align yourself with one of the teams like from the conference and find out from our lawyers what that involves.”
“Would you mind if I did the research and stuff? It’s not that I don’t want you to help, but if God told me to do this shouldn’t I actually do it instead of just telling you and having the lawyers do it?”
“You know, you’re right. If this is what He wants you to do then yes you should take the lead, but don’t leave your old man completely out. I want to help too okay?”
“Deal, I’ll do the research and work up a game plan and then we can get together and go over it and then go from there. I’ll let you handle the heavy lifting and I’ll handle the brain work how’s that?”
“Just keep talking… you’ll see.”
That’s how Redemption Freedom Exchange began. Parker threw himself into the project whole heartedly and came to his father with a proposal that was more mature and informative than he’d anticipated. It seemed he’d already contacted their lawyer about setting up their own foundation, spoke with the pastor at their church, contacted the conference host staff, and even presented his father with a list of individuals from the church that was interested in getting involved along with how they could help. He started local fundraisers and launched a funding website and he wasn’t afraid to contact his father’s more prominent acquaintances from the past. Most of his famous friends dropped him after his conversion, but one thing you can always depend on is a celebrity wanting to have their name attached to a good cause whether out of a desire to help and make a difference in the world or just for the publicity. Parker was shot down more often than he was told ‘yes’, but he would take every bit of help he could get and rejection wasn’t about to slow him down and in time he had even grown to become somewhat of a celebrity of his own.
He should have been on top of the world, he was doing some good in the world; making up for what he felt he had contributed to though he knew God wasn’t holding anything against him, God wasn’t like that. He had been featured on the news a few times and even been invited to appear on a national talk show, but there was still something missing, something just wasn’t right. He sat on the edge of his bed staring at his hands and wondering if somehow in his effort to help he had missed God or even pushed him out of the way for his own glory. Had he taken his calling and made it all about himself? The thought had been haunting him more and more often to the point where he had considered stepping down for a while and letting someone else take the spotlight and he prayed. Alone in his room, in the quiet of a fall afternoon he called out to God with every bit of his heart. Sure he prayed, he did it every Sunday, before meals, at fundraising events and other church functions and when he felt he should, but this was a plea, a cry out to the only one that could help him; and He answered. Parker was always amazed when he heard God speaking to him, whether it was that nudging of His spirit or those words that go from your brain to your heart and then down into the depths of your spirit and this time what God said made him more than a little uncomfortable.
“Help them.”
“I am. At least I think I am, I may not be going out on the streets myself and brining people home, but I am helping them aren’t I?”
“Help them.”
“Am I supposed to be out there doing it myself is that what the problem is? Am I letting someone else do what I’m supposed to be doing?”
“All of them.”
“That’s impossible. I can’t free everyone that’s a slave, I wish I could!”
“You’re only helping half.”
“Half? I’m far from helping half. What do you mean?”
“I delivered you.”
“Yes and I’m so thankful, but I wasn’t a slave.”
“Weren’t you?”
“No I… well… not really I mean I…” but the longer he thought about it the more he realized he was a slave. He had been just as much a slave to pornography as the people in front of the camera. God was right he had only been helping half. He had been so focused on the women and children he had forgotten about those like himself. It was a two sided coin.
Suddenly he
was excited again, but that didn’t last. How? How was he going to open the eyes of those cast under pornography’s addictive spell? It had taken an act of God to wake him up. “How God, how am I supposed to do this?”
“Be honest, tell them.”
“That’ll go over real well. Haven’t Christians been yelling about porn ever since cave drawings? I don’t think it will do much good. Wait I have, I have been talking about it. On the website, in the interviews and such. I’ve pretty much said it’s wrong. Okay so maybe I haven’t exactly said all pornography is wrong I’ve kind of glossed over that. I mean it’s a touchy subject nowadays even more than it used to be. It’s not that easy talking against something that’s now considered part of normal life and most not only won’t listen but they get downright angry. I know I did. It took You, my dad, and a conference full of victims to open my eyes.
It’s kind of hard when everyone around you, especially those your age is telling you one thing and just a few are trying to convince you otherwise. I wasn’t listening to anyone that wanted to tell me it was wrong. They were all high and mighty goodie two shoes that wanted to strip every fun thing out of the world. They weren’t like me and my friends and when one of them would get caught doing it in their own homes, turning out to be nothing but a hypocrite it only solidified things. I ended up wanting it even with knowing about the sex slave trade, even my dad said he would get tempted and that was after becoming a full out Jesus freak.” Parker continued to muse over his past and what had brought him to that very day. Wondering through the ‘what ifs’ and being thankful that he had been freed at an earlier age. So many of his class mates and even the boys in church were struggling with porn addiction, what could he possibly say to them that would help them know the truth?
“Be honest, tell them.”
Then he knew, he finally realized what God had been saying all along and the thought terrified him. His own struggle with porn was a private thing, between him, his family and God. Of course his friends had caught on that he wasn’t into it anymore, but that was about all they knew. It was shameful to him, part of who he was, who he had been that he didn’t want the world to know any more than they had to. Just like his father had said, when he was doing it he didn’t care who knew, now that he was changed, his actions affected all those around him and he cared deeply. Parker realized that he had been holding on to the shame and the condemnation all this time, that his work was an effort at penance to atone for his sin. He had imposed his own punishment in a way and that is where all the unrest had been flowing from. He’d held onto his guilt and though God had forgiven him the moment he had asked for it, he had not forgiven himself. That stopped right now, he drew in a deep breath and said, “I am forgiven. God forgave me and I … I forgive myself. No more guilt. It’s done and I am free.” He said it a few more times, and by the end he felt it. Now was the time to tackle the other side of that coin.
The next Sunday he waited patiently in the pastor’s office after the service to ask if he could address the teen boys at the next meeting and told him why. Parker poured out his story to the congregation leader and though he was nervously bouncing his left leg the entire time he got through it, even including his recent experience with having to forgive himself. Two weeks later he was sitting before a room of twenty something young men of their church opening his life to them. His face felt like it was on fire and more than once he had to look down as his hands, his feet, the floor, anywhere but the guys staring back at him. Since it was church they were on their best behavior and for that he was more than grateful, but he didn’t regret a minute of it. There was something there, almost like God had his hand on his shoulder the entire time and it got him through it. As the meeting broke up one of the young men pulled him aside, he had been struggling with the same addiction and being raised in the church he KNEW it was wrong. Parker’s admission had given him strength and he was going to talk to the pastor and get some counseling.
That was the beginning. It snowballed from there. Turns out that one boy wasn’t the only one his speech had an effect on. Over a dozen of the young men present either went to the pastor or their parents with an admission of their own and it opened the eyes of the church leader of the epidemic right within their own congregation. If this many young men stepped up how many more were still hiding in the shadows? Pornography wasn’t just a teenage boy issue, but was one that spanned every age, race, and sex gap. One that the church warned about, but obviously hadn’t dealt with and that changed right now, at least for them. Parker was asked to speak to the entire congregation, after his heart started beating again and his stomach left his throat he agreed. It wasn’t like talking with the guys his own age in a church teen meeting. There were girls, parents, community leaders, people he went to school with, even one of his teachers. Nervous didn’t begin to describe what he felt on the morning he was scheduled to speak and he was disappointed when his prayers for a quick flu or a nasty cold hadn’t been answered.
All the younger children and those that preferred not to listen had left the chapel and he stood at the podium with a few things listed on a piece of paper just in case his mind went blank. His heart thudded in his chest nearly drowning out his own voice, but he didn’t let that stop him and when he was done he was surprised when one, then another, then other stood up and began to applaud. They applauded his deliverance, his work, and his strength on baring his sins and his soul to them. Before long he was being asked to speak at other teen meetings and at other churches in the area and each time he felt that strong hand of God on his shoulder and when he was asked to speak to his own high school he was never more grateful for that comforting touch.
Speaking to a church where it’s already common knowledge that pornography is immoral and dangerous is one thing, but in high school it’s part of everyday life. They already knew him as the guy who raised money to free slaves around the world and that gave him a bit of status, just like in the real world. When you’re doing something to help others you’re generally looked up to and thought well of. Even the skeptics and bullies eventually give you a nod here and there, but go right into the thick of it and parade his skeleton in front of the entire school? His life was going to change and he was pretty sure it wasn’t going to be for the better. It would be his greatest challenge yet, but he knew this was the right thing to do, this was God’s will. All the other times speaking were building up to this and he wasn’t going to chicken out, the devil wasn’t going to win this time. He may only help one person in the crowd, but if Jesus could be tortured and die to save only one person than he could sacrifice his own pride and ego and take on the ridicule if it would help someone be delivered from addiction.
Parker turned his past into an all-out testimony and instead of being scared and nervous as he took the microphone standing in the center of the auditorium he felt a fire, a passion that could only have come from God. Gone was the shy boy that stood free, but shaky. Now he belted out his story, open, honest, and raw. He held nothing back, not when the laughing, the snickers and the taunts came from groups around the room and not when he looked at the girls from his class either. He was strong and he wasn’t going to stop until he had reached someone.
He was right. His life did change, but he found he no longer cared. He saw a lot of the taunts for what they really were, his peers, scared and feeling that slight conviction in themselves pointing the finger at him to take the attention off themselves. He saw the same anger in his classmates that he had had towards his father and he understood it. He had a compassion that he didn’t have, that he couldn’t have had before experiencing it for himself. On the other hand he found he gained a few new friends as well, others that he helped, and some that were impressed with his leadership and strength. Parker found that sometimes there are a lot of people out there that just need someone to stand up and say enough is enough, to give them the strength to do the same. His experience that day became his personal motto, “If I can sacrifice my pride and ego to help
free even one person from addiction or slavery it’s more than worth it.”
He carried that creed all the way to law school where he majored in international law tailoring his studies to focus on what it takes to rescue individuals from other countries. His foundation had grown by leaps and bounds and with their connections he was now on the front lines of Redemption Freedom Exchange.
Bane once said after Dane and Daisy’s announcement at their wedding it would take a lot to top it and in the spirit of brotherly competition Parker managed it when he asked to be wed in the very same small country church that Bane himself had grown up in. It wasn’t easy for Bane to handle the idea of going back. Of sitting in the same pews he had sat in with his father. So many memories that he still hadn’t come to terms with swirled inside him, but Parker had asked for so little and come so far he wasn’t about to deny him this. Besides Mya was a wonderful girl and a perfect match for his son. They had met as part of the team working to free a group of girls in Greece, she was a psychologist that specialized in the trauma associated with being part of the sex slave industry. Her own sister had been killed as a young woman, beaten by a man that her pimp knew was a danger. She had been lured by loneliness and youth and the desire just to be loved by a man she had met online. He said all the right things, gave her understanding and compassion, and confessed his undying love for her, all she had to do was run away and come to him and he would take care of her forever. He took care of her alright. Hundreds of miles from anyone she knew fifteen years old, she was trapped with a man she thought was her knight in shining armor. Everything was wonderful at first, then they needed money and he convinced her that she was so beautiful, that she was so amazing, that she was the answer to their prayers. All she had to do was make a friend of his happy for a little while. Slowly he introduced her to drugs, and before she knew it she was a full blown prostitute and addict working to support her habit and under the control of a very manipulative pimp. Mya and her family hadn’t been able to save her sister, but that put her on a path to becoming part of Redemption Freedom Exchange and part of Bane’s family.