Chapter Seven
It felt like minutes, minutes since he had let go of his skepticism, anger, and doubt, minutes since his spirit flooded with peace, pure gentle peace and the love of the Almighty so much so that he felt he might burst. No one and nothing had ever filled him with such joy; not his wife, not his children, not his fame or fortune. Now he knew the truth and he was free; truly free, but it wasn’t over yet. There was so much he didn’t know, so much he needed to learn and all of it was in his study, in his trash. As he opened the now precious book the words came alive like never before and filled his spirit. Verse after verse, page after page, chapter after chapter, Bane sat reading through the dawn of the first day of the rest of his new life with Christ.
He was still reading when his kids left for school or wherever it was they went instead and when his wife went out shopping. No one said good morning, no one said goodbye, no one bothered him so it was after ten before he ventured out of his study into the world beyond, his mind filled with the past present and future. It was only by pure instinct that his hand reached for the beer in the door, but it was his new nature that he felt stirring that led him to pull the pitcher of tea instead and pour a glass. ‘This was going to take a little time to get used to’, he reflected as he glanced over the counter into the living area and started to take it all in, noticing for maybe the first time just how bright, alive, and beautiful it all really was. His wife had done an excellent job at decorating with just the right touches of sentiment to show that a family lived here and not just another cold show room and he beamed with pride at the talent of his wife and family. Life really was a blessing and he had more than his fair share all around him, all thanks to God he reflected as he looked down at the Bible still in his hand. That’s when he saw them, the tattoos covering every inch of his arms and for the second time he was ashamed of them quickly making the decision to have them removed or changed as soon as he could. Then what, what else in his life needed to go, what else would God be ashamed of? Bane quickly grabbed for a pen and paper briefly thinking of writing on the blank pages of his Bible, but no he couldn’t do that, write in the Bible, that would be wrong wouldn’t it and he just as quickly dismissed the idea.
The list was fairly short to his surprise, but involved more than he realized or even knew how to deal with. It’s one thing to know that something needs to be done, but the execution isn’t always so clear. He guessed that’s where faith would have to come into play and he’d think of something so the list read:
1) Tattoos; since that was the first thing that he’d noticed. Not all of them were offensive. Some were quite beautiful and others reflected his love for his family and craft, but others were vulgar, blasphemous and crude and those had to go one way or the other.
2) Porn; there must be a reason all of those channels were blocked mysteriously on his television. He’d checked for outages and unpaid bills and everything was fine.
3) Drugs; he was pretty sure Jesus would not approve of getting high.
4) Booze; at least the heavy stuff for a while. He needed a clear head and if he couldn’t control having just a little, well he hated to admit it, but he might just have a problem with it after all.
5) Career; this one was going to take some figuring. He had a new album set to be released and a new concert tour kicking off, how he was going to get out of those he had no idea, but he couldn’t sing one more word of... any of it.
At least some of these could be taken care of right now and he grabbed the trash can from its cubby under the sink and went from one room to another filling the can more than once as he purged his rooms of anything he could on the list. He deleted files and websites from the computers, cancelled the adult channels, locked away his liquor until he could trust himself again, and flushed the few stashes of narcotics he had hidden away for a rainy day. With each new eradication he felt a weight lift from him and excitement over his new direction in life, like the diet you start after the Sunday dinner. He only hoped that that by Tuesday night he would be just as focused. He pitched and purged through most of the day then deposited two very pregnant garbage bags and one half full one in the dumpster then returned inside to shower and settle into his comfy chair in the living room to read more passages.
At first he’d started at the beginning again, going through Genesis, Exodus, and most of Leviticus, but he got bogged down with genealogies and laws and switched to the Psalms. Finally he started randomly flipping through the pages, Old and New Testament reading passages as they caught his eye. It was fascinating in a way he had never anticipated and barely noticed as his children came wandering home one by one. He hadn’t really thought about how he’d handle his change with his family. Outside of the initial shock, the questioning of his sobriety, and a few references to his sanity (or lack thereof) he had considered his decision a private one that had nothing to do with them. No need to upset their lives, if they wanted to make the same decision for Christ as he had they were perfectly welcome to, but that didn’t mean he had to go all ‘evangelist’ on them. They had to find what was right for them for themselves, didn’t they. Sometimes God answers in small subtle ways, sometimes he’s quiet for a while, but this time was one of those smack you upside the back the head times.
It was the twins that had come in first Delilah and Parker, arguing over some such silly thing, it was their way of communicating. It was when they treated each other nice that you had to watch out. They strode through the kitchen and living room dropping their books at the first convenient moment and grabbing whatever was edible, but it wasn’t his growing sixteen year old twins that Bane saw when he looked at them. It was the hollow, terror stricken images from his vision and it sent chills running down his spine. He just stared at them unable move or speak.
“Hey Dad?”
“Earth to Dad.”
“What’s up?”
“Maybe he’s stoned again.”
“No.” It was soft and made them both jump.
“Oh hey, you okay Dad?”
“Yeah Parker, I’m fine, just zoned out for a minute that’s all and no I’m not stoned. That’s all over with.”
The twins exchanged a look.
“I know I’ve said that before, probably more times than I could ever remember or count and each time I let you down and I don’t blame you for not believing me. I wouldn’t if I were you, I’ll just have to let my actions speak for me. Things have changed, I’ve changed,” he unconsciously stroked the cover of the Bible on his lap, but the two didn’t notice. They were too alarmed to notice anything, they’d heard their father rant, curse, threaten, scream, cry and a myriad of other things, but the calm way he was talking now flat out scared them.
“Are you dying?”
“Parker!” His sister elbowed him in the ribs, but Bane just laughed.
“No Parker I’m not dying, but thanks for the concern. I’m alright I just... well it’s kind of hard to explain, but I guess you could say that I grew up a little. Why don’t you two pick up that mess you just deposited and go do your homework?”
Another look passed between them, that was their mother’s line, but they obeyed unsure what might happen if they hung around. Neither one wanted to stay anyway, and as they headed for the foyer and the stairs he could hear Delilah ask, “Do you ever remember Dad telling us to do our homework before?”
“No, I don’t think he even knows what grade we’re in.”
That last remark stung. Not because it was what his son thought of him, but because it was the truth; he didn’t know what grade they were in. His heart sank as he opened the Bible again, the sight of his children now and from his vision still hanging on as he read Ezekiel 16:15-21.
‘But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his. You took some of your garments to make gaudy high places, where you carried on your prostitution. You went to him, and he possessed your beauty. You also took
the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them. And you took your embroidered clothes to put on them, and you offered my oil and incense before them. Also the food I provided for you—the flour, olive oil and honey I gave you to eat—you offered as fragrant incense before them. That is what happened, declares the Sovereign LORD.
And you took your sons and daughters whom you bore to me and sacrificed them as food to the idols. Was your prostitution not enough? You slaughtered my children and sacrificed them to the idols.’
He was still reading when he spied Mason quietly walking up the stairs to his room; Bane hadn’t even heard him come home. What else hadn’t he noticed and the vision of the chains surfaced as his answer. “Lord, what do I do? How do I even talk to him?” and he opened the book, three verses standing out.
‘No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.’ Corinthians 10:13
‘For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.’ Psalm 139:13-14
‘Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.’ John 14:1
The fire inside him grew as he searched the references of each verse. Leading him deeper and deeper into God’s word desperate to know how to reach his son, to reach all his children when Mitchell bounced onto his lap excited to show him the project he’d done in school that day. Bane listened with new excitement, one he didn’t have to fake. He looked at every inch of his seven year olds face tracing it over and over, remembering how proud he was the day Mitchell had been born. He could see his wife Shaylon in his eyes and he could see himself in his ears, and though it hurt to think it, he could even see traces of his own father, Mitchell’s grandfather in his chin. How he could have missed out on so much and now he had the chance to do it right. He couldn’t contain himself and scooped the boy up in his arms into a great big hug. He expected him to stiffen or freeze, but instead Mitchell squeezed back with more warmth and fervor than Bane could believe. This was what it was all about, this moment right here, he would do it right, he would be the man, the father they deserved. It was his responsibility to guide them, to teach them, to show them the truth. He was their father and they were his gifts and if he didn’t want to see them suffer to see them... he couldn’t bring himself to think of their unsaved eternities, then he had to step up. He couldn’t just sneak in the back door of heaven and hope his kids would follow. They might not understand and they might not like it, but things were going to change for all of them.
He heard the fridge close and turned his head to see his oldest Dane chugging a beer. Without thinking he kissed Mitchell on the cheek and helped him off his lap, “I need to speak to your brother for a minute okay buddy?”
The boy just beamed at him and took off like a shot to show his brother Mason his latest accomplishment.
“Dane.” Bane was out of his chair and across the living room to the kitchen counter in a flash.
“Yeah.”
“Look, I know things have been... casual around here, but you’re only seventeen, as in under twenty one and I don’t want you drinking anymore and not just in the house, but anywhere.”
Dane looked at him quizzically, wandering what his dad was on.
“Now I know what you’re thinking,” Dane snorted, “I’ve never said or done anything like this before and no I’m not high or plastered, but I got one He...” he wondered if he should, was it right to use that word, that’s where he was, that’s where they both were so he did, “of a wakeup call over the past few days and I’ve realized that I’ve been doing things all wrong and that I’ve got to change. That means things around here have got to change too and I’m going to need your help with that.” Did he just ask Dane for help?
His oldest son just stared. Okay so his father was having some kind of ‘experience’; no biggie. It wasn’t the first time he’d gone off on some tangent and it wouldn’t be the last. It wouldn’t surprise him if at some point his father didn’t pop out naked on stage. One minute touting the evils of restrictive clothing then yell at his little brother for doing the same thing telling him that no one wants to see his naked rear end running around and to save it for when he gets his own place. So hey, he could go along with it. Who knew maybe this new thing his dad was on would add a boost to his own career as well? “So what does that mean?”
“I don’t know really, just that... well for starters no more breaking the law.”
Dane laughed.
“Yeah yeah I know right, but I mean it. No more drinking. No drugs of any kind, and nothing else that falls under the category of illegal activity. What’s done is done, it’s in the past and you don’t have to tell me about it it’s none of my business, but from now on let’s do things right.”
“Is that all? Be a good little boy?” Dane raised an eyebrow, was this some sort of publicity thing? Usually his father reveled in pushing the envelope. He more than once went to bat for any of his kids that wanted to ‘express’ themselves in whatever way they deemed fit as long as it didn’t hurt someone else directly, but if that’s how his dad wanted to play it so be it. His new tour and album release was within days of launching, maybe this was some sort of stunt and since his dad was his ticket in the door he could go along with things. Sure some people liked to strike out on their own to prove that they had it without help from their connected mommies and daddies, but he wasn’t one of them. He knew he was good and if daddies connections could get him started so be it, he wasn’t about to turn down the leg up; so he could do things his father’s way... for now.
Bane raked his hand across his face. There was so much more, so much to explain and work out together, but where to start? “For now, but I need to talk things over with your mother first.”
Bringing mom into this huh? This must be something. “So what do you want me to do with this?” He waggled the beer in his hand. “Do you want it?”
“No. No, just pour it out.”
Dane was stunned and drained the bottle into the sink without a word. His dad was turning down alcohol? Was he sick or something? Still too shocked to respond he grabbed a bottle of water and retreated to his room where he had a mini studio set up and attempted to drown his thoughts and desire for a cold one in his work; barely mumbling his agreement to ‘behave’ to his father as he left the room.
Bane on the other hand was left in the kitchen completely out of his element. There was so much inside him and he was so full of joy and peace on one level, but he suddenly realized that from here on out he had no idea what he was doing. Their entire lives he and his wife had been telling the kids to embrace life and experience every aspect that they felt like. To not let society tell them that something was wrong or ‘immoral’ that they had to figure out what was right for them, now he was taking all that away. Telling them the opposite of everything they’d been taught. He could see it in Dane’s eyes, the mistrust and the skepticism. How could he tell them ‘not to’ when he himself had done it his whole life? Wasn’t that being a hypocrite? No there had to be a way and hopefully Shaylon would help him find it. The big question was, how was she going to react to his ‘new life’?