“Holy Whispering Roots Batman!” We here remember the event that both put our town on the map, and took it off. We successfully turned a failed government program into a national memorial, complete with derelict building and whispering tree stump, but it also proved our ruin as eventually the rumor became dull and the story became old. Children were no longer scared to go up at night and listen for Trent Frennur’s voice and instead used the place as a hangout for causing mischief, not that I need to remind anyone. Well rumor has made it down the mountain that the FBI is currently cleaning up an operation at our very own SODM. Last night brought the surprise of Bartholomew Gatchet’s escape, which no one knew he had been moved up here in the first place. This was proven true this morning. To make this news more shocking it has been leaked that none other than Trent Frennur has been shot and killed on the site of SODM. Rumor has it that a young FBI agent tracked him down to a secret hideout under the “whispering roots” and heroically entered and finally put to rest the biggest mystery of our time. We currently believe that Gatchet is not part of this event and was used as a ploy to throw off our young hero, whose first name we believe to be Robert, but only time will tell. Be sure to follow closely for further reports on our radio program later this afternoon. Whether this all proves to be true or not, one thing is for sure, we are back on the map with “Robert the Brave” and his masterful slaying of Trent Frennur leading the way. Soon we will have people crowding our town once again eagerly awaiting the tour of the SODM building (or what remains) and hearing Frennur’s fanatic whisperings (I told you they were real all along, remember that).