~ ~ ~
Gray could have told her. As he approached the carousel he kept his eyes on Julianna. For all her sophistication, she looked completely defenseless. Small and defenseless and infinitely huggable. With her hair falling down her back like a dark waterfall and her eyes filled with sadness, she looked like a little girl lost in a world of grown-ups.
She stirred more than his protective instincts, though. She had right from the first time he’d seen her with a Chihuahua in her arms, although it had taken him a long time to admit his very real attraction to her. There was an indefinable essence about Julianna, strength laced with vulnerability, courage laced with uncertainty. Almost from the beginning he had wanted to take anything he could, and at the same time he had wanted to give and give.
He still did. Crazy as it was, he wanted to take comfort from her, and give comfort, too. Somewhere inside he knew that was the only way either of them would ever find peace. Somewhere else inside him he knew he was insane to even think it was possible.
As if she sensed him watching her, Julianna turned a little to face him directly. Gray’s eyes followed the slender lines of her body from her sandal-shod feet to her eyes. The sadness he had seen was gone, replaced by a wariness that made a chilling contrast.
He was angry at the walls she had erected so quickly. Clearly she was going to fight him every step of the way. “Where’s your bodyguard?” he asked in frustration.
“He’s gone to find us accommodations somewhere, if it’s any of your business.” She paused. “Where’s your daughter? Where’s your wife?” She stressed the last word.
He could tell that she had no idea how farcical her questions were. He ignored them. “Did you really think you needed protection on the plane? What did you think I was going to do?”
“I didn’t want to talk to you then, and I don’t want to talk to you now.”
“It’s unlike you to avoid things.” He watched her expression grow more veiled. His grew angrier. “Or maybe it’s not. You’re the one who took off ten years ago, aren’t you? You’re the one who disappeared without a word.”
“And you were so heartbroken that you remarried immediately and sired another child.” Julianna turned to the carousel and lifted a navy-blue garment bag, then a small suitcase. She straightened. “Or did you father the child while you were waiting for the divorce to become final? How old is she? Eight? Nine?”
Gray grasped her shoulder and spun her around. “Damn it, Julie Ann, that child isn’t mine. And I’m not married to her mother. I just happen to be escorting her.”
She could feel his fingers digging into her shoulder, and something just as painful digging deep inside her. She didn’t know what to say.
“Did you really think I’d jump into another marriage after everything that happened?” he asked, loosening his grip a little.
“It doesn’t matter.”
Gray felt some of his anger leave him. She might say it didn’t matter, but he could see she was lying to both of them. It mattered very much. “Ellie was my child, too. I didn’t have anything to give anyone after we lost her.”
She stiffened. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
“What do you want to talk about then? The weather? We’re about to get a hurricane, Julie... anna. And I may be one of the few people in the world who knows what that’s doing to you. You don’t have to put up a front with me. I know what you’re feeling.”
“You only think you do.” She lifted her chin a little, and her eyes were defiant. “I told you I’ve changed. You don’t know me anymore.”
“You don’t have to pretend.” His hand no longer gripped her shoulder but lay there to comfort her.
She shook it off. “Neither do you. You don’t have to pretend you care what I’m feeling. Those days are long gone. Why don’t you just say what you’ve come to say and get it over with? Give me the condensed version, Gray, and then get the hell out of my life!”
“Is this fellow bothering you again?”
Gray had been so involved with Julianna that he hadn’t noticed Dillon’s approach. He didn’t take his eyes off her face when he snapped, “Get lost, Aussie.”
Julianna edged a shoulder between the two men. “It’s all right, Dillon. He was just about to leave.”
“Not fast enough!”
“Please.” She put her hand on Dillon’s arm.
“There aren’t any rooms anywhere on the island,” Dillon said, his eyes still on Gray. “But the Travelodge not far from here will let us camp out in the lobby. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing for it.”
“That’ll be fine.”
Gray stepped toward her. “I’ve got a suite at the Prince Kuhio for tonight, Julianna. Come with me. You can have a shower and a comfortable bed, and we can have that talk.”
“You must be kidding.” Her eyes widened in disbelief. “Do you really think I want to spend a night in a hotel room with you?”
She seemed to see how angry she’d made him, because he witnessed a flash of regret cross her features. It came too late.
“And just what do you think would happen?” he asked in a low voice. “Do you think I came all this way to seduce you? Now that you’re all grown-up, are you so sure you’re irresistible?”
Dillon took a step forward, but Julianna held him back. “I’m not coming with you.”
Gray rarely lost his temper. Now he felt it slipping out of his control. “Yes, you are,” he told her. His eyes challenged Dillon’s.
“Have you forgotten?” she asked angrily. “I’m not your wife anymore. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to. You have no say over my life.”
“When did you divorce me?” Gray’s gaze swept to Julianna’s face. His words were icy cold.
She stared at him.
“Can’t you remember?” he taunted.
Suddenly she was disoriented. Her fingers tightened on Dillon’s arm. “Divorce you?”
“That’s right. I never got any papers, even though you knew where to reach me. So I don’t know when, and I don’t know how. What grounds did you use? And what kangaroo court gave you a divorce without getting in touch with me?”
“You divorced me. On grounds of desertion.” She paused. “You must have.”
“No.”
She wanted it to be a lie. “I don’t believe you.”
“Then get your attorney to do a records search.”
“But why wouldn’t you?”
He turned the question around. “Why would I have?”
“I was gone. You wanted me gone. You must have known I was never coming back.”
“Really? How was I supposed to know? You didn’t tell me that any more than you told me you were going.”
Dillon cleared his throat. Gray’s eyes flashed back to the other man’s face. Dillon looked increasingly uncomfortable. The Australian knew he was witnessing something intensely personal, and he knew he didn’t belong there. Julianna seemed at a loss for words, so Gray addressed his next remark to Dillon. “I appreciate the excellent care you’ve taken of my wife.” He stressed the last word. “But I’ll be taking care of her now.”
“If she says so.” Dillon didn’t move, but he seemed to back off anyway. The inexplicable aura that warns one male of another’s dangerous intentions vanished.
“You can see we have a lot to talk over,” Gray told Julianna. “It’s way past time to settle things.”
She had been tied to this man in so many ways, by their friendship, by her love for him, by the child she had borne. To find that the ties weren’t broken, that in the eyes of the law she was still his wife, was too much for her. She swallowed a sob. “It is settled,” she said, trying not to choke on the words. “I’ll be filing for a divorce immediately.”
“If that’s all we needed to do to settle things, I would have done it years ago.”
“You should have.”
“Come with me, Julianna.”
“No!” Before he could argue further, she turned and
fled toward the exit.
Gray tried to follow her, but Dillon barred his way.
“Don’t make it worse, mate,” Dillon told him. “You’ve given her a shock. Give her a chance to think about it.”
“What’s she to you?” Gray demanded.
“Just a woman who needs a friend.”
“She’s scared to death of storms.”
“Then don’t go chasing her into this one.” Dillon motioned toward the carousel. “I’m going to find her and get her over to that hotel. Are those her bags on the floor?” He watched as Gray nodded, then stooped to pick them up and add them to his. “See what else comes through with her name on it and take it to your hotel, would you? I’ll see if I can get her over there tomorrow morning after she’s had time to think.”
“Why are you doing this?”
Dillon shrugged.
Gray hesitated, still weighing the possibility of going after Julianna. Then he nodded. There was really very little he could do, short of dragging her caveman-style to his hotel. She had defeated him. Again. “Please go find her. She’s in no shape to be out there by herself.”
“I’ll take care of her.”
Gray watched the other man head for the exit and wondered how something that he had planned with only the best of intentions could have turned out to be so unbearably painful for everyone concerned.