~ ~ ~
Julianna found her seat, stepping past her broad-shouldered Australian seatmate to take her place by the window. If she’d been anywhere else she would have run from Gray, just as she had run from him a decade before. But where could she escape to now? She cursed the coincidence that had brought them together in the prison of a DC-10.
For months after leaving Mississippi, she had watched for Gray everywhere. After a year she had become less careful; after two she had stopped worrying. Even in the beginning if Gray had searched for her, the search would have been perfunctory. “I tried to find her,” he would tell everyone who needed to be told, “but she didn’t want to be found. Julie Ann is gone for good.”
He would have been right, of course. The day her bus pulled out of Granger Junction, she had known she would never see the town again. The relief that had filled her at that thought had been her first respite from the terrible grief she had suffered after Ellie’s death. Each mile she put between herself and the town that had given her nothing but heartache had eased her misery a little. But the real healing process had been slow, because there had been so much loss, so much betrayal.
Now she knew that the healing wasn’t complete. It probably never would be. Angrily, she wiped a tear from her cheek.
“Look, it’s none of my business, I know, but I can’t help noticing you’re a bit upset. Is there anything I can do?”
Julianna wiped away another tear. She didn’t look at the man beside her. They had exchanged a few sentences after their takeoff from Los Angeles. She remembered that he’d introduced himself as Dillon, and that he was an Australian, an opal miner from a town with a funny name.
“I’m all right,” she told him.
“Is it the flight?” His voice was surprisingly gentle. “I’ve known people who get in a flap the minute they step onto a plane.”
“I’m not one of them.” Julianna reached in her flight bag for a tissue. She didn’t want to involve this stranger, but she suspected she might need his help if Gray came looking for her. “I fly all the time.”
“In weather like this? I’d rather be almost anywhere else, myself.”
Julianna could understand his feelings. It was an unusually turbulent flight. She had made the trip between the mainland and Honolulu dozens of times, but she couldn’t remember another that had been so rough. The captain had warned them to expect things to get worse, too. For several days there had been tropical storm activity in the Pacific. A number of flights had been canceled, her original flight included. Julianna knew she had been lucky to get a seat on one that had actually departed. Now, after seeing Gray, she realized how relative luck could be.
She explained her problem as succinctly as she could. “It’s not the ride that upsets me. I just saw someone I hadn’t seen for years. It wasn’t a good surprise.”
“Do you owe them money?”
Julianna attempted a smile. She examined Dillon. He was a big man with curly brown hair that was almost hidden under a cockily tilted wide-brimmed felt hat. His nose had been broken at least once, and it tilted cockily, too, although the tilt only added charm to a face that had obviously had plenty to begin with. His encouraging smile matched the concern in his green eyes, but she suspected he didn’t feel at ease comforting a distraught woman.
“It’s a man,” she answered. “And I don’t owe him anything.”
“His loss.”
Julianna was glad to hear that male approval. Most of the time she had no doubts about her attractiveness. The shy, undernourished teenager had been replaced by a woman who turned heads when she passed. But it hadn’t been admiration she had seen in Gray’s eyes. It had been shock. Dillon’s reassurance helped her remember who she had become.
She knew she needed to warn him. “He may come looking for me. Maybe I’d better apologize beforehand.”
“Apologize?”
“We’ll have nothing good to say to each other if he does.”
Dillon nodded. “Do you want me to find another seat when he gets here?”
“No!” Julianna realized she sounded entirely too desperate. “I mean, don’t feel like you have to. The plane is completely filled. I thought they were going to stack people in the aisles. There probably aren’t any other seats.”
“You don’t want me to go.”
“I don’t,” she admitted. “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t your concern.”
“I’ll stay.” Dillon tilted his seat back another notch and pulled his hat down over his eyes. “Let me know if you need me.”
Julianna wound a strand of hair around her finger and watched the masses of clouds below the plane. Normally she used the five-hour flight to work, either sketching ideas for new collections of the clothing she designed or checking the latest batch of figures from her accountant and business manager. Now there was no hope of work getting done.
What diabolical force had arranged this meeting with Gray? Was life too good for her now? Did the eternal balance have to be tipped once more? The last few years had been successful ones in every way. The Julianna Islandwear Corporation was making more money than she had ever dreamed possible. Her personal life, if not wildly exciting, was pleasant and stable. She was sought after for parties, catered to by interesting men, and detached enough that she could chuck her social life at a moment’s notice and retreat to her house on Kauai for the privacy she needed.
She had so much more than she’d expected to have when she left Granger Junction. And she would be damned if she’d let running into Gray change anything.
“Julie Ann.”
The name she no longer used twanged along her nerve endings. She had known Gray would seek her out, but there hadn’t been enough time to prepare herself. She wished there was some way of ignoring him now, as she had ignored him earlier, but Julianna knew that was impossible.
She turned her head slowly and met his gaze. She said nothing, just examined him as she had before. He was dressed in a lightweight gray suit that perfectly matched his eyes and nickname, but there was no gray in the golden brown hair combed back from his forehead. The honey-colored strands were sun-lightened at the tips, and he was tanned and fit. She imagined he spent much of his time living the good life on the Mississippi Gulf coast with his family. She wondered if there were other children, too. She would be surprised if Gray hadn’t tried for a son to carry on the Sheridan name.
“You’ve hardly changed,” she said at last.
“You have.”
“I imagine you’d be surprised how greatly.”
“Nothing much surprises me.”
She nodded, waiting.
“Shouldn’t one of us say it’s been a long time?” he asked.
“It hasn’t been long enough.”
Gray’s expression didn’t change. His stern mouth hadn’t once approached a smile. It didn’t tighten with anger now, either, but Julianna knew her words had affected him. She had seen the flicker in his tarnished silver eyes.
“How long is long enough?” he asked.
“A lifetime.”
“That’s what you were hoping for.”
The words were neither a question nor a statement, but rather an observation that could be disputed if she wished. Julianna felt no need to.
“I’d like to talk to you,” Gray said after he’d given her time.
“I can’t think of anything I’d like to talk about.”
“Then I’ll be glad to do the talking.”
“I can’t think of anything I’d like to listen to.”
“You’re making this very difficult.”
Her laughter was as low and husky as her voice. It was also humorless.
“I’m not here to cause you trouble,” Gray told her, his lips tightening in a thin, straight line.
“Then you have changed, Gray.”
“The captain has turned on the seat belt sign,” a woman’s voice informed them over the public address system. Gray spread his feet wide and lightly rested a hand on the
back of Julianna’s seatmate’s chair. His eyes left hers to flicker over the lounging man before he gave her his full attention once more.
In the seconds after recognizing Julie Ann he’d had time for nothing more than fleeting impressions. Now he took several moments to study her more carefully. Only the dark blue eyes and the perfect oval of her face were familiar. Ten years was a long time. He wondered if ten years ago he had recognized the potential of the teenager with the pale skin and razor-sharp bone structure. He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure if he had been mature enough to really think about her at all.
Gray cleared his throat, realizing as he did how out of character the mannerism was. “Julie Ann, I know this is difficult for you. It’s just as difficult for me, but I need to talk to you. We need to talk,” he added.
When she didn’t answer, he turned his attention to her seat-mate. “Excuse me. I’m sorry to disturb you, but would you mind taking another seat for a few minutes? I have to talk to this lady for a little while.”
For a moment it seemed as if the man wasn’t going to answer; then he lifted one hand and readjusted the brim of his hat, pulling it down an extra inch. “It seems to me the lady doesn’t want to talk to you, mate.”
Gray wished he could see the man’s face. “The lady and I are way overdue for a conversation. I’d appreciate your help.”
“If the lady tells me she wants a conversation, I won’t mind a move.”
“Julie Ann?”
“My name is Julianna,” she said softly. “One word.”
“It suits you.”
Perhaps if his answer hadn’t been so conciliatory, Julianna would have agreed to the conversation. She could handle his anger, his arrogance, even his condescension. But she couldn’t handle his warmth. It brought back memories of a Gray whose existence she had stopped believing in a long time ago. She did not want that Gray in her life again. That Gray had almost destroyed her.
“I don’t want to talk to you,” she said, turning back to the window. “Not here, not anywhere.”
“You’re acting like a child.”
Dillon pulled the brim of his hat up to expose his face. “The lady gave you her answer,” he said, a steel edge to his voice. “It was no.”
Gray watched as the man brought his seat forward. He wondered what the husky Australian’s relationship was to Julie Ann. . . Julianna.
“The lady doesn’t realize I’m not here to stir up trouble,” Gray said. “I’m not trying to hurt her.”
“Maybe the lady has reason to think otherwise.”
Gray nodded, although he could feel his own irritation building into anger. “Julianna,” he said, without stumbling over the name, “you’ve had ten years to hate me. Give me just a few minutes to try and change your mind.”
As soon as he saw the fury in the eyes that had turned to challenge his, he knew that he had said exactly the wrong thing. “A few minutes? God, you are arrogant! Do you think that’s all it will take, Gray? Just a minute or two of your patient explanations and I can forget everything that happened?”
“That’s not what I meant...”
“I think it’s time for you to leave.” Dillon stood and faced Gray. “The lady is getting upset.”
“Stay out of this. It’s none of your business,” Gray told him.
“The lady made it my business before you got here.”
Julianna’s anger receded as she watched the two men. She hadn’t believed it would come to this. Their raised voices had drawn the attention of the passengers across the aisle. She wondered how many others were witnessing the confrontation. “Just go, Gray,” she said, reaching out to put a restraining hand on Dillon’s arm.
Gray shook his head. “I’m going to talk to you, and I’m not leaving until I do.”
The two men were well matched in height. Gray assessed the Australian. Whatever advantage the other man had in weight, Gray knew he could probably make up for in speed. He never settled his problems with his fists, but he knew he could if the occasion arose. And the occasion would arise if the Australian took a swing at him.
“Gentlemen, please.”
The two men broke eye contact at the sound of a woman’s voice.
“Everyone is supposed to be seated. The seat belt sign is on.” If the young flight attendant knew exactly what she had interrupted, she didn’t let it show in her voice. “Sir, will you please take your seat? And you, sir, will you sit down and buckle up? We’re heading into worse turbulence, and we don’t want anyone to get hurt.’’ She emphasized the last part of her sentence.
For a moment Gray considered ignoring her. But he knew he had lost this round. He gave the young woman a curt nod, then addressed his next words to Julianna. “I know where I can find you, both at work and at home. So we’ll talk, whether you think it’s a good idea or not. Maybe by the time we do, you’ll realize how childish you’ve been today.”
“This isn’t Mississippi. The Sheridans don’t own Hawaii. If we talk it will be because I want to. And that won’t be until hell freezes over!”
“We’ll talk.” Gray turned and strode down the aisle, disappearing into the next cabin.
Dillon made sure Gray was out of sight before he sat down again. He buckled his seat belt before he spoke. “Are you all right?”
“I’m so sorry.” Now that Gray was gone Julianna blinked back tears. “I never use people the way I used you.”
It was obvious that Dillon would have been more comfortable throwing a punch than he was with Julianna’s tears. “Nothing happened,” he reminded her. “And he’s gone now.”
“For a while.”
“Will you be all right?”
“He won’t touch me.”
“Maybe you should have talked to him. Now you’ve got to worry about meeting him again.”
Dillon’s words were only an echo of Julianna’s own thoughts. She listened to the sounds he made settling back in his seat as she cursed her own behavior. She’d been childish and spiteful and so full of fear and anger there hadn’t been room for anything else.
There had been a time when things were different. Once there had been room inside her for much more. Those days were gone, but as the plane hurtled through the storm-filled skies, she remembered them. She was powerless to do otherwise.