Adison,” I said. “Please say you’ll marry me.”
She put her head down to contemplate my question. Then she lifted her head and made me the happiest man in the world. “Alright!” she exclaimed. “Yes Gene, of course I’ll marry you.”
It was like a new light was ignited in my soul. The two days after my proposal were the happiest of my life. When the day came, everything went as planned. Adison snuck out the way she always did and met me down the street. “Happy birthday,” I said and I kissed her passionately on the lips.
I thought I had all the bases covered. I had the marriage license ready. All that was required was for us to go and have her sign it at the county clerk’s office. We had to wait until that day because they wouldn’t allow her to sign until the actual day of her eighteenth birthday. Once she signed, we were legal and ready to go.
There was a small chapel in town that did walk in weddings. It never occurred to me that since he was the only such service in town, he’d be busy the day we needed him. But sure enough, as we walked into the chapel arm in arm and told the receptionist we were getting married, the receptionist’s words immediately took the air out of our sails.
“Do you have an appointment?” she asked.
I will never forget the smug smile on that bitches face. It reminded me of all the people who watched me fail and struggle throughout my life. My momma, all her boyfriends, David’s sister. None of those people wanted me to be happy. They all wanted to see me suffer.
“Maybe we can come back tomorrow,” Adison said. She was so cute. Trying to defuse a flame that was already too far lit.
“I’m sorry,” the receptionist said. “Our next opening isn’t for another two weeks.”
Two weeks? In two weeks it was already going to be too late. Sergeant Reed already knew something was up. If we were married before he found us, there would be nothing he could do. But if he found us before we did it? I didn’t know what would happen.
Desperate times called for desperate actions. I went behind the counter and grabbed the receptionist by her hair. “Let’s go talk to the chaplain.” I ordered.
“Wait!” Adison yelled. “Eugene? What are you doing?”
I didn’t answer. I took the receptionist with me into the chapel and threw her into another couple who were in the middle of their vows. “Get out!” I yelled. The husband and wife to be ran away quickly. The chaplain started to also but I grabbed him. “Not you, sir,” I said. “We have a job for you.” The receptionist started to leave and I grabbed her too. “And you, honey,” I said. “We’re gonna need a witness.”
“Oh no, son,” the chaplain said. “You don’t want to start your lives together this way.”
“Don’t you call me son,” I said. “Only my momma calls me that.”
The chaplain’s demeanor was making me believe he’d be less than cooperative. Looking around, I saw tapestries draped all along the walls of the chapel and tied off with rope. “Adison,” I said, “go get all that rope.”
“Gene,” she argued, “I don’t think-”
“Do it!” I yelled.
Adison looked at me with fear in her eyes. It was the first time she’d ever looked at me like that and I didn’t like it. I didn’t want her to fear me. But we were running out of time and I was getting desperate.
She brought me the rope but I could see the heavy tears running down her face. “Don’t be sad, honey,” I said. “This will all be over soon. And we’ll be husband and wife.”
“I don’t want to be your wife you crazy fuck,” she cried. “I’m getting out of here.”
I couldn’t believe my eyes. The love of my life was walking out on me. I was being left at the altar and I couldn’t let that happen. I charged after Adison and tackled her just before she made it out the door. Unfortunately, I also bumped a table that had two candles on it. And with the tapestries now hanging loose, the candles fell into them and set the chapel on fire. Now I was truly out of time.
I scrambled to my feet and grabbed Adison. I walked with her back to the chaplain, who I hadn’t had time to tie up. “Marry us now,” I said, “before this place burns down.”
“Are you nuts?” the chaplain asked. “There’s no ventilation. If the fire doesn’t kill, the smoke will.”
“Then I suggest you hurry,” I said.
That was when the chaplain made his move. He bum rushed me and knocked me down. I wasn’t expecting it so I went down hard. I fell into a row of chairs and saw the fire envelope me. I thought I was a goner. But then I felt a pair of hands. Strong hands. They patted me down and lifted me up. It was Sergeant Reed. He saved my life. The next thing I remember was all of us standing outside the chapel and watching it burn down. I looked down at myself. My jacket was pretty charred but I wasn’t hurt at all. None of us were. It was a miracle.
I reached in my jacket pocket and pulled out what was left of my marriage license. There wasn’t much. Adison walked over to me and grabbed it. She threw it on the ground and stomped it. She pointed at the ground. “That is never going to happen,” she said. “We are over.”
The chaplain and the receptionist walked up to Sergeant Reed. “This man needs to be arrested,” The receptionist said.
“Adison,” Sergeant Reed said, “go home. I have some business to take care of.”
I watched my beloved Adison walk out of sight. This was supposed to be my wedding day, now I was watching my sweet Adison walk out of my life forever. I heard Sergeant Reed’s voice break me out of my self-pity. “It’s time to set things right,” he said.
I thought he meant me. I didn’t know how he was going to do it. Maybe he was going to shoot me. Maybe he was going to push me back into the fire and say he couldn’t save me in time. But none of those things happened. Instead, he grabbed the chaplain. “No witnesses!” he yelled, and threw the chaplain into the fire. Taking his cue, I grabbed the receptionist and shoved her into the fire as well. Once again I was following orders. No witnesses.
The burning flesh smelled terrible. It was a smell I couldn’t get out of my nostrils for days. And their screams were terrible too. The screams didn’t seem to bother me much though. It made sense. They were being burned alive. Of course they were going to scream.
When the police came, Sergeant Reed told them it was an accident. He explained that he was there to talk me out of making an appointment to marry his daughter when the fire started. He told them he was able to get me out but was unable to save the chaplain or the receptionist. The police bought his story without question and let us go. Sergeant Reed took me back to his house and explained his plans for me.
“You are going to work for me now,” he said. “There is something obviously unstable about you. I’ve known it for years. I can use a guy like you to do some special jobs for me. There are people. People in my life that are in my way. These kinds of people need to be taken care of. You job will be to take care of them for me. Do you understand?”
I nodded. I understood exactly what he wanted. The military can be a very corrupt place. If you’re not shaking the right hands and kissing the right ass, you will only get so far in your career. Sergeant Reed had aspirations that I could help him achieve. And I did help him achieve them.
I spent the next several years of my military career assigned directly to Sergeant Reed. It took some doing, but after the untimely death of our First Sergeant, Reed got the promotion. Naturally, I was selected to work directly for him and the rest was history. He earned his commission, and with my help, he made it all the way to Lieutenant Colonel before we were finally caught. I explained my part of the operation without blinking an eye. My statement was pretty straight forward. I was just following orders.
After our Courts Martial, Reed was sentenced to spend the rest of his life in Leavenworth Federal Prison. Me? I was deemed clinically insane. I was in a maximum security psyche ward for a while. But with good behavior my security levels got lower and lower, until finally I was sent to the Fitzgerald Mental Institution.
&
nbsp; My first day at Fitzgerald I met a man named Gnarly Daren. He was in the day room antagonizing one of the other patients. The unfortunate patient was attempting to build a house of cards, but Gnarly Daren kept taking his cards away.
“Please Gnarly Daren,” the patient said. “Please give me my cards back.”
Gnarly Daren started laughing. “And why do you want these cards so badly?” he asked, waving them over the patient's head.
Watching the confrontation, I was reminded of all the times I’ve seen such stupid questions being posed and nobody willing to give a valid answer. “I think he wants to play with them,” I said.
This got Gnarly Daren’s attention. He turned to me and smiled. “Oh is that so?” he turned back to the patient. “What do you think, huh? Is Obvious Owen over there right? Do you want to play with your little cards?”
“Yes Gnarly Daren,” the patient said.
Daren nodded. “Hm.” Daren pointed at me. “You, Obvious Owen,” he said, “come here.”
I walked over to him. Why not? It was an order.
“Do you know who I am?” he asked.
I nodded. “According to that other guy, you are Gnarly Daren.”
“Very good,” Daren said. “Take note everybody,” he yelled to everyone in the room. “Obvious Owen here got my name right first time out of the gate.” Gnarly Daren put his arm around me. “We’re gonna have some fun Obvious Owen. Just you wait and