As if fate knew I was yearning for activity, my cell phone started ringing. Pulling it out of my pocket, I glanced at the screen and smiled when I saw MAJOR ASSHAT on the display. Then I frowned and quickly glanced around. I considered silencing the call and not answering, but I was too curious to let it go to voice mail. Keeping my voice quiet in case someone somehow knew my code name for Hayden, I told him, “You shouldn’t be calling me.”
“I know, but I’m about to crawl out of my skin. I need a distraction…and I bet you need one too.” The low tone of his voice sent a chill down my spine.
Just the idea of being alone with him had my skin buzzing, but Hayden’s team was set up at a different hotel than mine, and I could not walk into the lobby of the hotel where every Benneti racer was staying. “You know I can’t come over,” I said, approaching my rental car. “Too many witnesses.” And besides, I wasn’t sure if the two of us being around a bed was a good idea…
“Actually, I was thinking we could meet somewhere neutral. You have a car?”
“Yes,” I said, unlocking the door of my rental. Damn, was I really considering meeting up with him here? Away from the track, away from racing, away from every excuse that made our get-togethers back home somewhat acceptable? Yes…I was.
“Good. There’s a lake south of here. Meet me at the boat launch.” He rattled off directions while I stepped into my car and shut the door. When he was done telling me how to get to the lake, he murmured, “See you soon, Twenty-Two.”
“See ya, Forty-Three,” I responded, starting my car. Putting my phone down, I paused with my hands on the wheel. What the hell was I doing?
I pulled out of the parking lot and made my way to the lake Hayden had mentioned. I beat him there, but just by a few minutes. Parking in the lot, I wondered what the hell we were going to do at a boat launch. And oddly, I didn’t care. Just hanging out with him would occupy my time and help settle my excitement for tomorrow. And that was why I’d said yes, wasn’t it?
Hayden pulled up beside me in a sporty two-seater coupe that looked super fast. A trickle of jealousy seeped into me as I closed the door of my safe and reliable Ford Focus. Dad wouldn’t let us rent flashy cars when we traveled; he didn’t want us getting into an accident before the race. Not that the company could really afford to rent a car like Hayden’s anyway.
When he opened the door, he was wearing khaki shorts, a Benneti Motorsports ball cap, and a black T-shirt featuring the name of the bull riding bar we’d been at what felt like ages ago. Before the day was done, both of those last two items might have to be burned. With a relaxed, laid-back smile on his face, Hayden seemed more like a man who’d been enjoying a poolside barbecue all afternoon than someone who was stressed over an upcoming race. And as if the sun had reappeared after days of being hidden behind clouds, just the sight of him—the small curve of his smile, the sexy gleam in his emerald eyes—made me feel warm all over. Why did he always have to look so damn good?
“Hey,” he said, his smile pleased.
Wishing he didn’t have such a strong effect on me, wishing there were some other way to work off my nervous energy, and wishing we didn’t have to hide everything we did, I walked over to him. “Hey,” I answered. It felt weird to be alone with him like this. Weird…and wonderful. “So…what do you want to do?”
Hayden’s lips twisted into such a seductive smile that my heart skipped a beat. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out a flask. “How about we start off with a drink?”
I automatically shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
Rolling his eyes, he extended the flask to me even more. “One sip won’t kill you, Kenzie, or mess up your day tomorrow. It will just relax you…and to be honest, you look a little wound up. I think you need this.”
Snatching the flask out of his hand, I unscrewed it and took a long draw. It was whiskey, and it burned like battery acid going down. I didn’t react, though, just smiled and handed it back to him. Hayden chuckled, then took a sip himself. Looking around, I absorbed the beauty surrounding us. A few boats were on the water, enjoying the beautiful day, and off to the side in a grassy area, a couple was having a picnic. It was idyllic and calming, and a great place to spend time with…a friend.
Hayden indicated the dock. He handed the flask back to me while we walked toward it, and I took another sip as I sat down on the weathered wood. It actually was unwinding me…not that I was high-strung. Just anxious. Eager. Ready to go.
Somewhere on the other side of the lake I could hear dirt bikes ripping through the woods; it made a shiver of excitement wash over me. Soon. I was handing the alcohol back to Hayden when he suddenly asked, “Did you ever consider dirt bike racing instead of street bikes?”
I smiled. “Yeah. I even started out on dirt bikes when I was little. Dad wouldn’t let me continue, though. He thinks dirt bike racing is…beneath us. He says it’s a bastardization of the nobility of our sport, and a child of his will never compete in it.” Hayden’s eyes widened and I laughed. “I think it just scares him. Going fast is one thing, going fast over big-ass jumps is something else entirely.”
Hayden nodded. “Makes sense.”
As he took a swig, I softly asked him, “Did you ever consider that route?”
He didn’t answer immediately after swallowing his drink, and for a moment, I thought he might not answer at all. Then he said, “Until Keith found me, I hadn’t considered any career, much less racing. He gave me…” Hayden stopped and I was sure he was done talking. Disappointment flooded through me; I desperately wanted him to open up again—just a little bit. Because how would I ever really trust him if I didn’t get to know him? Although did I need to trust him…?
“He gave you a place to live?” I ventured. “I heard your teammates say that you live above his garage…” A fact that placed another huge obstacle between us.
I saw the war in Hayden’s eyes as he studied me. I wanted to tell him he could talk to me, even about Keith, but before I could, he quickly said, “Yeah. He lets me crash with him, shares his food, his bikes…everything. It’s just another reason why those dicks hate me, but I don’t care what they think. Before I met Keith, my life was just about…surviving. Keith gave me a goal, a dream…he gave me hope. And where I come from, that’s one thing that’s in very short supply. So my teammates can suck it…because I’m not going anywhere.”
He was staring at me so intensely, with such a passionate fervor in his eyes, that I almost couldn’t breathe. I wanted him to lean toward me, make a connection with me. I could save you too. You don’t need Keith. But how could I possibly compete with someone who had plucked him from obscurity and given him everything he needed to get a leg up? Shit. His devotion to Keith went so much deeper than I’d realized. A cold wash of darkness swept over me as I thought about just what Hayden might do for Keith, the man who had given him a direction, a future…given him that elusive hope. He would probably do anything for him, same as I would for my father.
Feeling like I shouldn’t be here anymore, I tore my gaze away from Hayden. His fingers found my jaw, pulling me back. “What?” he whispered.
I didn’t want to answer, but with his penetrating eyes boring into mine, I couldn’t stop myself. “Keith hates my father, blames him for killing his career. He seduced my mother, took her away from my dad for a time. I hate him so much for that, and you…you’re saying he’s some sort of hero or something, and I…I just can’t…” I was surprised by the emotion in my voice; it was warbling so badly I could barely understand myself. But everything I’d said stung with truth and pain…and I was so sick of holding on to it.
Hayden grabbed my face and held me just inches from his mouth. Eyes locked on mine, he heatedly said, “I’m not him, Kenzie. I know he’s not perfect. I know he’s only helping me because it helps him too. And I’m okay with that.” I tried to look away, but he held me in place. “I’m not telling you that you should forgive him. Fuck that. He screwed your mom, you should hate him. But
Kenzie…we’re not them. Their issues don’t have to be our issues.”
My lips parted as a flood of desire rushed through me. His words spoke to me, soothed every tender spot, calmed every trickle of pain his loyalty had sparked. I held on to his assurances with everything inside me. Yes. We’re not them. Their issues aren’t our issues.
Suddenly, Hayden was springing to his feet. “There’s too much seriousness on this dock. I say we rectify that.” He held his hand out, and, grabbing his fingers, I slowly stood up. “Do you trust me?” he asked, coyly raising an eyebrow.
That was the real question, wasn’t it? But he’d shown me another glimpse inside himself, and I was feeling closer to him than I ever had before. “Yes,” I whispered.
Squeezing my hand, Hayden pulled me off the dock; his palm in mine felt like fire against my skin. He led me along the shore, where a bunch of kayaks and canoes were resting by a building. Pointing at the kayaks, he said, “Race me.”
“In the water? With those things?”
Smiling, he nodded. “Being on the water helps me relax.”
That filled me with warmth. We had something else in common. “Me too.”
“Great,” he said with a grin. “Then help me get these into the lake.”
I shook my head. “They aren’t ours.”
“I know, that’s why we should do this quickly,” he said, indicating the water. I frowned and he cupped my cheek with his free hand. “Please, beautiful girl. I need to see you smile.”
A part of me wanted to reprimand him for the almost–pet name, but the rest of me was too taken aback by what he’d said. God, he was kind of…amazing. You need to see me smile, and I need you to kiss me. Please. My lips parted again, but I quickly sealed them shut. No. That would only make ending this harder, and there was no future here. Their issues might not be our issues, but they absolutely dictated our lives. For now.
“Okay, fine.” I couldn’t believe I was actually agreeing to this.
Hayden released my hand and pointed to a kayak for me to take. Looking around, I grabbed it and a nearby paddle and rushed to the water as quickly as I could go with my load. My heart started racing as the thrill of doing something spontaneous and crazy filled me with lightness. How did Hayden talk me into these things?
He was seconds behind me. We splashed into the water, our shoes and ankles getting wet as we worked our way into the small crafts. I was laughing by the time I grabbed the paddle and started pulling myself into deeper water. From beside me, I heard Hayden say, “Yeah, that’s what I wanted to see.”
We spent more than two hours on the lake, racing from one end to the other. Hayden won twice, then I won twice, but after a while, we stopped keeping score and just enjoyed having fun together. I was a little sad to see the sky darken to a point where we had to leave.
After returning the boats where we’d found them, we slowly walked back to our cars. I knew I was going to see Hayden tomorrow at the race, but I really didn’t want to say goodbye yet.
“So, I guess this is good night,” he said as we’d reached our cars.
“Yeah…” Whether or not I wanted more, I couldn’t have it. He had to go back to his world, and I had to go back to mine. It was as simple as that.
Hayden took a step toward me, arms slightly outstretched, subtly asking if he could touch me. My breath sped up as I took a step in his direction. That was the closest to saying yes that I could get. He wrapped his arms around me, and my eyes fluttered closed. God, he felt good. And smelled good, spicy and forbidden. I nuzzled into his neck so I could smell him better. Our cheeks rubbed together and I almost groaned. His mouth was so close, just a twist of our heads and I could touch my lips to his. Or he could take mine…I could surrender to him, body and soul.
“Mmm, you make it hard to say goodbye…”
“You do too. I wish…” I wish I hadn’t said that. I wish we didn’t have to hide. I wish this could actually go somewhere.
Hayden pulled back to look at me; hope was in his eyes. “You wish what?”
“I…wish you well tomorrow,” I stated. “But not too well, because I still plan on kicking your ass.”
His expression dropped, just a little, but then he grinned. “Right. I guess we’ll just have to see about that.”
Stepping away, he leaned down and kissed my hand. It was a sweet way to let me go, and yet it was a nod toward his royalty comments back in the beginning of our…whatever we were. Ass.
Before I could change my mind, I forced myself to get into my car. Hayden seemed to be forcing himself as well, as he stiffly shuffled to his vehicle. Once we were both inside, cars running, Hayden revved his engine. It sent a message straight to the section of my brain that craved speed. Game on, Hayes. Throwing my car in reverse, I spun around and zoomed for the exit. Hayden was a breath behind me.
My little reliable car couldn’t hold him back for long. He pulled around me on a straightaway; it really pissed me off to see his taillights in front of me, mocking me. It was so natural for me to race him that I wasn’t even consciously aware that I was doing it until we hit traffic. When he started weaving around cars—and I shockingly followed suit—a warning started gonging in my brain that I was being stupid, that I was taking this too far, that I should slow down and let him win.
Screw that.
I kept on his tail as close as I could until he pulled into a parking lot. I was so proud of my little car for keeping pace that I didn’t realize where we were until I got out of my car and saw Hayden’s hotel looming behind us. Shit. I’d followed him home. I shouldn’t be here.
Smiling, Hayden came up to me and wrapped his arms around me again. All coherent thought left me. I had nowhere to be but in his arms. “You almost had me!” he exclaimed, pulling me tight. Pushing me back, he looked down on me with adoration in his eyes. “That was amazing. You are amazing. Come inside with me, Kenzie. I’m not saying anything has to happen, I just don’t want to say good night yet.”
It sounded so right, he felt so right, I couldn’t object. But I could voice a concern. “Someone might see me.”
Hayden shook his head. “I’m on the ground floor. I can let you in the back slider.” His thumb ran over my cheek, and warmth radiated outward from the point of contact. “No one will see you, Kenzie. I promise.”
I was nodding before I realized it.
Hayden led me around to the back of the hotel; both of us were hunched over, looking for people we might know. We couldn’t have been more conspicuous if we tried. But nobody was nearby, and we successfully walked through the berms behind the hotel with no one the wiser.
Hayden was inspecting the surroundings, looking for some clue he was near his room. When he spotted something that confirmed it for him, he stopped us. “Okay, this one is mine. Stay here, and I’ll go in and unlock the slider. Ten seconds, I swear.”
Feeling very open and exposed—and crazy for doing this—I laughingly said, “What? Can’t pick a slider?”
“Not without breaking it.” He smirked.
He was just turning to run back to the lobby when the sliding glass door leading to his room suddenly opened. Hayden and I exchanged startled glances, then Hayden protectively stepped in front of me.
A familiar-looking skinny Hispanic guy stepped out of the room and Hayden let out a relieved sigh. “Jesus, Hookup. What the fuck are you doing in my room? You scared the shit out of me.”
Hayden’s friend…Hookup—what the hell kind of a name was Hookup?—was snacking on a bag of hotel peanuts. “What the fuck are you doing out here? Skulking in the shadows. I thought you were about to get robbed, dude. I was savin’ the day.” He looked around Hayden and locked eyes with me. His eyes widened, like he recognized me. Stepping closer, he said, “Holy shit…Felicia? Where the fuck have you been, girl?”
I felt the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up. This guy knew Felicia?
Hayden adjusted his position in front of me, hiding me even more. “She’s not Felicia,??
? he said, heat in his voice. “Now are you going to tell me what you’re doing here? I thought we were…” He stopped talking and glanced back at me, his expression guarded.
Hookup shrugged. “Something came up. Thought we’d…go over it.” He leaned to the side so he could look at me again. “Sorry, Felicia lookalike, but Hayden will have to fuck you another night. Boys gotta talk. You understand, sweetheart?”
Understand? The only thing I understood here was that this guy was an asshole. Maybe sensing my prickly mood, Hayden spun around and put his hands on my shoulders. His expression apologetic, he cringed as he said, “I am so sorry.” His jaw tightened, and I could see the tick of his pulse pounding beneath the skin. “For everything. But I’ll see you tomorrow…right?” The plea in his eyes was palpable.
Wow…really? I had been about to enter his bedroom and he was blowing me off? For this…thug? Guess he hadn’t completely cut the streets out of his life after all. I wasn’t sure why that surprised me; maybe it was because we were thousands of miles away from home, and I hadn’t expected to see one of his seedy friends here. Or maybe it was because I’d completely bought Hayden’s story about wanting to leave all that behind. I’d thought Hayden was a diamond in the rough, waiting to be polished, but maybe he was just rough. Maybe finding out like this, before anything happened between us, was a blessing in disguise.
“Yeah…tomorrow.” When I fly by you and take it all.
Chapter 13
Hayden and Hookup disappeared into Hayden’s room. With the curtain drawn across the slider, I couldn’t see anything, but maybe I could hear something, because I’d really like to know just what the boys had to talk about. Putting my ear against the glass, I tried to make out something useful. Mainly, all I could hear was my heartbeat—standing outside a hotel room obviously spying on the people inside was not exactly in my comfort zone. The guys were talking too low for me to understand, but from the tone, someone sounded angry. I hoped that was Hayden; I hoped he slugged the guy for interrupting our date.